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GRILLARY CLINTON posted:if ur an evil wizard post in this thread about the spells you cast and other things like that. Evil wizards always have terrible plans and good wizards sit around not doing poo poo I'd just take my wizard skills, find a country willing to pay me millions to conjure up new housing developments and become the richest person alive without breaking a single law poo poo, you know how much brain surgeons are paid? Can you imagine if your services were "resurrect the dead"?
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Dec 29, 2016 23:31
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"I am bringing magic back to the world! Here, rear end in a top hat, have a copy of the Necronomicon."
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Dec 30, 2016 00:59
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Motherfucker posted:Hi, recently I pledged my service to the eldar gods, specifically cthylla daughter of cthulhu (its 2016, ok) but the problem is the pulsing vein-like slug growing under my eyesocket is not only making it hard for me to pick up chicks but also I'm starting to hear screams and see stuff that I'm pretty sure my mind wasn't supposed to comprehend, its starting to cut into my social life and plus I've started hucking up fistfulls of maggots with human faces who demand I find them hosts in a demented chorus of voices. How do I keep it 'real' I guess is what I'm asking? haha Go to a few cult meetings, maybe you'll meet a nice girl that won't eat you
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Dec 30, 2016 01:01
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:Punch and muscle wizards get different hit die, though. They make good use of that d12, unlike loving barbarians. Nerd warning: Isn't that a Spellsword, not a wizard?
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Jan 3, 2017 09:59
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habituallyred posted:I heard this is the place for evil wizards to post? Because I just have to vent about being an evil wizard. Only being able to control evil sucks. Just the other day some dumb kid broke my side mirror. So I try to curse him, just a little, no dice. Too young to have a moral compass my rear end. Life hack: Start hanging around only with Hollywood Producers, Kings and Politicians. Maybe some bankers. A little shift up to your social circle should completely end your woes. You'll never have a problem using Control Evil on any CEO either, so time to get your magic working for you! Martha Stewart Undying posted:What elementals do I need to grind up to make a salvia-equivalent? Asking for a friend. That's how you get resists, not trips. The answer is Gnomes. You grind up a poo poo load of Gnomes. Bastards smoke drugs all day, so it might just be 2nd hand intake from their ridiculous tolerance. Heroes might come along and try to kill you, but hey, evil wizard thug life right? Pththya-lyi posted:My dragon, Princess, is now the size of a horse! I think it's okay to let her roam the mountains now. She's been going stir-crazy in her enclosure, so some fresh air and open space should be good for her. Plus there's wild sheep and goats to hunt, so that'll cut back on my food bills. Goddamn lazy evil wizards. That's exactly how dragons get slain but some dip poo poo who wants a dragon slayer title. Keep your pets on a chain and fly them like a responsible dragon owner that cares enough to disintegrate any rat bastard heroes with delusions of grandeur that make an attempt on your beast. Blazing Ownager fucked around with this message at 14:06 on Feb 2, 2018 |
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Feb 2, 2018 13:58
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Anyone know of any vaguely sinister scent spells? Sinister, not foul. Zombies are great at tearing my enemies apart, but Goddamn those things reek. If only the smell went away when they did. Maybe if I could call forth the scents of sulfur from the deepest levels of hell, it'd air out the room Al Borland Corp. posted:Oops I'm a skeleton now. Any life hacks? I can't get my capacative touch screen to work anymore and I'm having to type this post on a computer like a 20th century evil wizard. I got you. Step 1: Get yourself a suit of armor. Maybe gank some do gooder for it. That'll have a few advantages. For one, if it's got a helmet, people might not realize you're a skeleton. For two, it stops you from breaking apart, which is obnoxious. Step 2: Fill that void with murder. Hacking up Good assholes is better than drugs. You get good enough at it, you might get promoted to Litch, then it's easy street. Step 3: While you unfortunately have no dick, learn a vibration spell and all the maidens will want to roll your bones Look at the bright sides. Hacking up people who intrude on your turf is not only your new completely free rush, if you locate to a dungeon in Texas, I believe it's legal under stand your ground laws. Just put out a few ads about your 300 pounds of gold and priceless wish granting magical artifacts, and watch the intruders roll on in! PS: You can also save a bundle on airline tickets by shipping yourself as freight and holding really still. The cold won't bother you anymore and they never scan for animated dead. Gridlocked posted:Bill was a friend man. At least as good a friend a Demon of Shadows could be. Hey now, Bill is never gone so long as you have him in your heart. I mean, have his heart. If he's a shadow lord demon killing his mortal form just sent him back to the shadow realm. Sacrifice his heart in the dark ritual and provide him 24 new virgins to choose from and he'll be back good as new Pththya-lyi posted:Ugh, I think my dragon ate another kid Are you an evil wizard or a total lawful pussy? Pay the parents to shut up or flash fry their rear end too. Ashes don't snitch. If you care in the first place Blazing Ownager fucked around with this message at 14:27 on Feb 2, 2018 |
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Feb 2, 2018 14:11
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Vernii posted:I prefer a floating tower with no external doors myself. I Do invisibility spells work on radar? I was half thinking if I floated a giant tower anywhere the air force would shoot it down thinking it was some sort of alien mothership.
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Feb 13, 2018 23:10
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Vernii posted:I don't think they do, but that scenario is also why you should have permanent walls of force around your tower, or imbue the stonework/walls with a self-regenerating capacity. I recommend using the imprisoned souls of dead adventurers as a power source for either, less for their energy potential and more to make an example. Hey I like a good magical shield spell as much as the next guy, but we're talking the damned air force! I mean my fireball spell is nothing compared to a Hellfire missile.
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Feb 14, 2018 06:40
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