basic hitler posted:

what about evil sith wizards? I've been hunting the sith tombs on dromund kaas for the key to immortality and i've slowly been going insane and i see tomb horrors in my nightmares

sweet geek swag posted:

So a quick update on my cult. We're doing great! I managed to make a couple of alliances tht have really helped me out. First I convinced a fallen angel to join as the focus of worship. He killed an annoying mortal and all of a sudden he's kicked out of heaven. He doesn't want to go be a demon in Hell (who would honestly, as a necromancer I prefer the chill of a nice tomb). So this worked out perfectly for both of us.
A devil named Baalthshebel has agreed to some magical exchanges as well. I send him sacrifices occasionally, and he gives me artifacts and powerful spells. Which is how I got my scroll of Immortal Undeath. Yes I am finally getting to begin my transformation to an immortal Lich Lord! I am quite excited.
One other alliance has presented itself, but I am hesitant to take it. My town is home to a mad scientist! He has no interest in dominating anything, just perfecting his killbots. His presence is obviously very dangerous. But making him an enemy could attract unwanted attention. He wants to study my magic to see how it works "scientifically." This is obviously not acceptable. How should I deal with this?

basic hitler posted:

I cant do this anymore. Im going white. Legit. Good guy. Just burned the last of my tomes. Some paladins are coming by tomorrow and raising a massive h holy shield as i violate every pact ive ever made with any demon. Lol they wont be able to do poo poo.

Anyway i start teaching at merlin academy next week peace be unto you brothers may you find redemption in the light:)

basic hitler posted:

I've been in hiding. How do i lose the heat from slaughtering an entire light side college including high paladin inquisitor Movrain? I have no idea how, but they have a blood sample so they can reliably track me now. Ive been moving every 36 hours but frankly im running out of hiding spots. I cant return to my lair as there are too many critical items not least of which are the phylacteries of several wizards....

SilvergunSuperman posted:

I'm one of those sissy elemental wizards that isn't nearly as cool as the necro/lich crowd.

I drive a gio and dating is a challenge

Verisimilidude posted:

*counteracts all of your evil magic*

I am a good wizard

Al Borland Corp. posted:

I'm more worried that in six months or less I somehow get killed ten years ago.

SilvergunSuperman posted:

I'm trying to curse a player piano with people's screamed final moments, but these old parts are just really a hassle to get ahold of and would anyone even appreciate this kind of thing nowadays?

Vlonald Prump posted:

So I don't know if this is the right place for this but I dont see a Thread For Evil Clerics so... my ancient and terrible master, Juggaloth of the Laughing Faces, is looking for souls for a plan whose purpose has not yet been revealed to me. Does anyone have some spare souls they aren't using? My eldritch master can offer a wide variety of uncanny yet puissant mutations in exchange.

Vlonald Prump posted:

Juggaloth has informed me that he needs precisely 8,888 souls for his plan of unknowable madness. Soul gems are fine, as are phylacteries, spirit bottles, etc. Juggaloth is nothing if not flexible.

Juggaloth would prefer the pure souls of newborn babes but understands that He can't be picky when buying in bulk.

What kind of mutation would you like? I can reccomend the tentacles, but they can be a little bit intimidating. We have a special offer going right now on poison glands. The All-Seeing Eye is a classic and comes in 55 colors.

CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:

Those dudes' problems stem directly from bot Keeping The Laws. I mean, if you gently caress up so badly that the Forces Of Creation themselves have to step in, you deserve every bad thing that happens to you.

basic hitler posted:

I see it more as a defect stemming from his inability to fundamentally create. who loving here hasn't created their own life? you are some sorceror rear end poser if you can't even animate custom life

Al Borland Corp. posted:

To fix the problem of me being a skeleton I made a clone. But the clone ran off before I could transfer my soul into it. It has all my memories and skills. If it starts posting here is that account sharing?

poverty goat posted:

CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:

What's everyone's current favorite spell? Mine is "AbrakaFUCKYOU," and I get to use it every generation or so when someone drags themselves out of the dust and ruins to become an adventurer. Always gotta make sure they have descendents or my fun will be over in a couple hundred years.

Automatic Slim posted:

Does the music play out of thin air like that or was that done in post? Light hearted music out of nowhere, mocking the peasants was icing on the cake.


Don't do that. They're just going to fall in love with their drug dealer.

Blaziken386 posted:

Just read through the whole thread, and I'm loving it. Lots of good advice here guys, kudos. Was hoping someone could help me with a problem I seem to be having ATM?
See, last weekend, I went on a bit of a bender, and at some point I may have accidentally signed a contract with an Eldritch deity who may or may not now be entitled to my immortal soul. I brought it up with an old lawyer buddy from college, and as far as he can tell, it's pretty fuckin' airtight.
I've got about 6 weeks before the tentacled bastard comes to collect, and I want to know if I'm screwed or not. I know some devils can weasel out of contracts like this over time if their nature changes so much that their True Name changes with it, but I'm not sure how to go about that as it is. Should I abandon my current project of becoming a lich and go for the demonic corruption path to immortality, or is there another way out of this that I'm just not thinking of?