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Aranan posted:gently caress me I'm still in. Have no doubt, the green weenie will still get you on the way out. You were warned.
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Jan 1, 2017 02:11
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McNally posted:I'll try, but I don't even know where to begin or even if I have a leg to stand on. It's a chance to force the system to straighten poo poo out because of the only thing they will recognize, self-preservation, and skull gently caress people deserving of a good skull loving.
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Jan 2, 2017 01:13
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:One more thing I don't miss about the Army: buying my own poo poo to replace the poo poo you get issued. Then getting yelled at for not being dress right dress and using your own poo poo and SOLDIER WHY IS YOUR IFAK NOT ON THE LEFT SIDE, EVERYONE ELSE AROUND HERE IS RIGHT HANDED
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Jan 2, 2017 05:14
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McNally posted:In fairness, everybody's IFAK is on the same side so that whoever comes to fix you up knows where it is. You don't use your own IFAK on someone else. Yeah nope, sorry. It's still total garrison bullshit. I mean if I were trying to put it on my rear end or something yeah I can almost see a point somewhere. Moving it to the other side because hey guess what not everybody is right handed or shoots right handed? If someone is that much of a chucklefuck that they can't look at and identify an IFAK just because it's six inches in the other direction they're too god drat stupid to save my life in the first place and I'm a goner no matter what. It's made up bullshit that may at one point have been based in reality but has been twisted to justify some 1SG's rock hard erection at forcing people to be as miserable and retarded as he is.
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Jan 2, 2017 07:41
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Zeris posted:Yeah we had some guys do that too. Why is that cool? Just beat up a detainee like the cool kids and then you've got a story for life instead of a useless loving pistol I actually really like the Colt 1911 my unit sponsored when we got back from Afghanistan. Didn't carry it during deployment or anything but it's still a nice piece that I enjoy having around.
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Jan 4, 2017 07:34
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Wasabi the J posted:The one we got was an overpriced FDE tan turd that doesn't accept fully loaded magazines without jamming, and one of the pins would work itself halfway out after a few range trips.
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Jan 4, 2017 14:59
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The Rat posted:Sometimes I get the vague urge to build a clone of the M4 I carried. Nothing fancy, CCO, huge surefire light and a PAQ4. When I own my own house and can have a no-poo poo gun safe installed in it one thing I've promised myself is an AR specifically to mimic what I carried around because gently caress you I'm mostly an adult and I make my own money. Not really practical for anything but fun, will definitely need something else for hunting and the like but I don't care at all.
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Jan 6, 2017 01:14
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A Korea tour is an absolutely perfect blend of everything that is wrong with peacetime Army and deployed wartime Army at the exact same time.
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Jan 6, 2017 15:51
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mlmp08 posted:SHARP and EO trainers will probably get trolled pretty hard for a few years during mandatory training. Look I can follow what you say for EO/SHARP, or I can grab them by the pussy. I have to respect my commander in chief right?
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Jan 9, 2017 18:21
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psydude posted:Why is Korea suck so much compared to other OCONUS duty stations? There's just enough real-world stuff actually happening at all times to keep people on edge and get that certain spice of deployment-suck in the air everywhere, but then it's Korea and the upper ranks make every possible lovely thing you can think about coming from peacetime Army/TRADOC bullshit a daily reality. So you'll go from spending three weeks out at a detachment or running an actual real-world mission or pulling a 24 hour rotation out on guard duty and then go straight into a dark room for SHARP/EO briefing powerpoint for four hours because the report goes up to higher tonight and we can't have these excel boxes different colors. If you fall asleep it's your individual failure as a soldier that caused all these problems so here's an Art 15 now get ready for tomorrow's mission/guard duty/mini-deployment.
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Jan 13, 2017 17:52
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I don't really have a choice with as much stuff as they got hosed up on me. My exit physical was basically, "Yeah if you weren't getting out we'd probably have to start medboarding cause another deployment isn't gonna happen". Civvie contractor though, I could see that with enough fat stacks attached to it.
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Jan 13, 2017 22:51
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Jaguars! posted:Power armor would suck. Man, you think turning a weapon into the arms room sucks? Think how bad Joe would get hosed over turning in power armor.
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Jan 14, 2017 06:19
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Korea as a country is pretty drat awesome and I'd take a job to go back there as a filthy civvie contractor raking in filthy civvie contractor bucks in a heart beat. Korea in a uniform is just an endless pile of suck camouflaged as a pile of poo poo.
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Jan 17, 2017 02:09
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:Just like your mom Could have done a lot more with the American/European part of the joke. 6/10
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Jan 18, 2017 18:31
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Proud Christian Mom posted:Is there anything y'all don't rag the poo poo out of If something comes up in the Army thread that doesn't have to do with the Army, sure. Other than that, nah. It's pretty well deserved.
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Jan 20, 2017 16:07
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So can't wait for the absolute flood of NDs and injuries/deaths from that privately owned firearms on base/at recruiting stations stuff.
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Jan 21, 2017 03:02
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cravius posted:Alternatively the army is cool and sometimes good Counterpoint: The Army manages to suck the fun out of shooting guns and blowing stuff up. That shouldn't be possible and is inexcusable.
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Jan 26, 2017 07:57
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MurderBot posted:Were you not constantly drawing dick art with that sharpie??? Dick art and insulting Top's wife with a sharpie is what makes the Army function.
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Feb 6, 2017 23:49
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Soulex posted:If you don't listen to us, you deserve what you get. Well that first part went right out the window when he raised his right hand so we'll see how the rest plays out.
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Feb 11, 2017 18:39
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I dunno, a hanged noble is a pretty good noble.
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Feb 12, 2017 08:43
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I, on the other hand, had an MOS that would gleefully poo poo on your face and kick you in the balls before allowing you past E4. After the first few years I stopped checking because promotion points never dropped from 798, then I got the gently caress out and now I out rank all those motherfuckers anyway.
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Mar 6, 2017 02:45
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Zeris posted:Details The running joke (not a joke) was that anyone who was an NCO was also a MOS-T because it was an intel MOS that gave a clearance and had a year of AIT in all kinds of neato poo poo that actually looks really good on a résumé in real life and not just according to a recruiter. Pretty much every single NCO slot was some MOS re-tread and everyone who started at the bottom right out of basic had no hope in hell of ever making rank in any decent time unless they also reclassed somewhere else. It was basically an entire MOS that had a very distinctly unhappy outlook on the entire rank structure.
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Mar 6, 2017 03:12
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I'd sign loving everything as E4(P) in a heart beat if it meant avoiding being made a corporal. Holy good god is that ever being made the green weenie's mega bitch. Saw a lot (2) of good men lost to that rank. They were never (sober) the same.
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Mar 7, 2017 01:43
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Vahakyla posted:That's what I mean. In case the masks are ever dug out, you can just shave on the way to your duffel bag. It seems like a bullshit excuse, it's not like people are in full MOPP-preparedness out there nonstop just waiting to fight in gas. And if you look to your left ladies and gentlemen you will see a wild Logical Argument in a recreation of its natural habitat. They're skittish so don't get too close. Unfortunately since their habitat is "people with more brain cells than shoe size" habitat loss had made them all but extinct. The first major loss of livable space for this species was the military, where independent thought as well as desire to improve things for others was victim to slash and burn policies related to promotions. Sadly, the wild Logical Argument is all but extinct in the military of today. All of its previous habitat is now occupied by the Good Idea Fairy, which we will certainly come across soon.
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Mar 8, 2017 02:14
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:I talk mad poo poo but I hope you guys do alright and have a better go of it than most, your stuff cracks me up just because it's AIT level poo poo and christ it takes me back a long time ago. Interesting perspective too with you being prior service. The singular reason the green weenie ever leaves someone alone is so it has a new, unstretched, unsuspecting butthole to plunge into just that much harder when the time comes.
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Mar 11, 2017 05:06
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Now I have that cadence in my head. I hope you get dick cancer.
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Mar 21, 2017 16:52
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I want to think that even people as stupid as americans aren't gung ho super thrilled about another middle east hornet's nest deep dicking. I mean Cletus the Slack-Jawed Trump Voter is probably waving his confederate flag in the back of his coal-rolling pickup but outside of the hardcore base I'm semi optimistic that the public isn't willing to support another adventure. Also, Trump calling his butt buddy Pootie-Poot and telling him to get his boys out of the area, while probably a smart diplomatic move in a vacuum, just really, really makes the entire thing reek of publicity stunt to me. Launch some missiles, flatten some empty buildings, crow about how big his balls are and how much better he is than that filthy commie muslim usurper that he spent years criticizing, literally word-for-word, about this exact action. https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump...ma%2Findex.html
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Apr 7, 2017 18:25
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:im the tubby full bird with her hands in her pockets Feels like the only person doing the military thing right. Ride the gravy train, get the bennies, give no fucks. Little over kill on the staying in and rank thing but hey more power to someone if they can do it and maintain a sufficiently low fucks quota.
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Apr 9, 2017 01:21
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Diarrhea Elemental posted:If it's been filled somewhere, anywhere, then the DEA system will have it recorded. Even if that entire hospital along with every copy of the script get wiped off the face of the earth tomorrow, there will still be a record of it in the fed ledger tagged with the provider's DEA number. You could say jack poo poo until a UPL comes up, state you've got the script, and while they might try to pull some poo poo they won't be able to touch you for the Percs. You seem to be operating on the assumption that they would do absolutely any sort of extra effort like looking that up before deciding to nail someone's ball to the wall and loving up their life with paper work. If the green weenie wants to come around the second part of that will happen no matter what and it will be on him to force the first part to happen out of self defense. It is the way of the army.
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Apr 16, 2017 17:20
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Mustang posted:No it's that JBLM exercise message that popped up on everyone's computers this morning and everyone was like "not my problem" and clicked accept Sounds like it isn't their problem if it's causing trouble for you. Welcome To Army!
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Apr 19, 2017 22:32
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Ok what's with the dorky yellow scarf the cav guys are wearing? A year in Worst Cav and I never noticed one. The morons in ceremonial gear on horses probably had one on but I refused to look at them when they started complaining about not having sharpened sabers.
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Apr 22, 2017 14:37
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Aranan posted:borderline ???
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Apr 23, 2017 01:36
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Nostalgia4Butts posted:1st cav had privates pulling 12 hour guard duty full battle rattle for their horsehead shield they had painted on the cement at loving Taji when i visited there Saw the same poo poo in Bagram. Kinda got the opinion that one was the FOB version of extra duty for fuckups though. I mean still god drat retarded because loving cav paint on the ground in Afghanistan what the hell? But they weren't there all the time 24/7.
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Apr 23, 2017 05:01
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mlmp08 posted:Fratricide should maybe be forgiven when there's a line of people visibly in severe discomfort trying to hold in piss or poo poo and then some loving clown who wouldn't let them forward in line comes back with an empty cup or like some piddly amount that doesn't qualify as a sample. I always loved having NCOs getting mad at me for not being able to piss right after the morning PT formation surprise urinalysis announcement. Really not sure why it's hard to comprehend that some people wake up and go piss right away and how that makes it less than easy to produce an entire urinalysis sample like half an hour later.
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Apr 25, 2017 00:57
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milk milk lemonade posted:Use regular times and not so many acronyms argghhh you're loving triggering me I still use 24 hour time in tons of places. It really is just easier for international stuff. Not at all sad to be forgetting a lot of the acronyms though. What a horrible habit that was.
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Apr 25, 2017 01:15
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TBeats posted:you run real goddamn slow in airborne school so unless you just forget the physical movements required to run you should be able to go a few weeks without any physical activity and do a stupid rear end airborne shuffle without too much issue. Knees are over rated anyway. Who doesn't want a knee replacement at 35?
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Apr 25, 2017 04:32
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Met goons through TFR for gun stuff. Ended up being more about food though cause we all have a food problem with our gun budgets. Good gyros though.
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Apr 29, 2017 01:43
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Even assuming I was capable of getting 90 in each event, which I was not because gently caress running forever and a day, I think I'd have stopped like one pushup short or something just to not have to even risk someone telling me I had to wear that thing. I finished boy scouts a long time ago, I'm done with badges thank you.
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Apr 30, 2017 22:16
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maffew buildings posted:The Navy doesn't have any PT award but my unit gave me a shirt that says OUTSTANDING PRT on it and volunordeered me to the fitness leadership class and running PT. We don't do any crossfit type stuff because if people do a few burpees they fall over. I got a 90 on everything on the APFT for a transfer package can I get a gay badge via correspondence? Burpees always hosed me up with the rapid change from jumping to going down into a pushup and back up . Left me light headed after a few so I always hated them. Best platoon leader for PT I ever had jumped through the bullshit and hoops to get us pool PT once a week. If you think running is good try pool running in like chest high water, that will make your muscles loving scream the day after while not turning your knee cartilage into a fine paste.
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May 1, 2017 01:57
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Syrian Lannister posted:They would set off the fire alarm so much, we stopped evacuating. Huh, our fire alarms were just drunk fucksticks being edgelords. So of course the army response was to demand 100% perfect personnel rosters at all times no excuses like reality allowed and make mandatory head count formations after every fire alarm because gently caress you, you live in the barracks.
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May 1, 2017 19:20
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