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How about an abandoned early access game with flipped assets? http://store.steampowered.com/app/375510/ Just look at these great screenshots!   
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Jan 30, 2017 16:33
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Do you like default assets, carrying around a music box(???) and getting mauled by a member of Blue Man Group with psoriasis? Then have I got a game for you!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAlSANIBVSU
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Jan 30, 2017 18:09
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You know, LIMBO was a decent game and all, but you know what it was missing? Eye-searing, nauseating lighting! Thankfully, GRIMIND is here to set things right.   
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Jan 31, 2017 22:50
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On the one hand, posting shovelware horror games is almost kind of cheating since there's so goddamned many of them thanks to an endless supply of screaming idiots on YouTube willing to play them for a shot at e-fame. On the other hand, most of the developers of these shovelware titles aren't brazen enough to literally name themselves the Assets Games Company. In particular this game's trailer is worth a watch since they couldn't even be bothered to have the game running at a non-choppy framerate when they recorded it. Here's a couple screenshots from the store page anyway, though:  
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Feb 2, 2017 02:59
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What happens when you take a lovely, no effort could-have-been-a-browser game that would probably be a bottom feeder on Newgrounds and actually charge money for it? You get the delightfully terrible Clergy Splode, which shows off almost 100% of its gameplay in its trailer and STILL manages to bore and annoy in one and a half minutes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr8SiH2eAqc
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Feb 3, 2017 17:41
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Yodzilla posted:Oh cool it's a bad version of Buta San Okay this on the other hand actually looks fun, or at least a hell of a lot less ugly. I've learned something today!
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Feb 3, 2017 19:10
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I feel like I've somehow traveled back in time to the early 2000s and I'm about to read a Lowtax-written review of this on the school computers since it's got late 90s/early 00s bargain bin shovelware written all over it despite being apparently developed in 2016. I half expected the publisher to be listed as Valu-Soft. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53spvFp0K_U Ikari Worrier fucked around with this message at 16:26 on Feb 4, 2017 |
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Feb 4, 2017 16:23
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"jiggling orbs" would make a pretty good name change imo.
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Feb 7, 2017 20:44
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Ever since Minecraft's explosive popularity everyone and their brother has been trying to ride that bandwagon for quick profits. Just take lovely blocky programmer art, slap it on top of a barely functioning sandbox, and there you go! Pixel Survival knows the drill, and gives us a handy rundown of what features to expect in their game:    
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Feb 8, 2017 20:31
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Jamfrost posted:Just look at the screenshots: http://store.steampowered.com/app/490690  
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Feb 10, 2017 13:34
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It's a bold new world out there, folks. One where you are free to swing your Nerf Sword and hit stock combatants in a generic village until you get bored, which takes about 60 seconds. Definitely watch the trailer for this one, but here's a couple screenshots that the developers decided looked better with a ridiculous amount of jpg artifacting: 
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Feb 21, 2017 22:58
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Digirat posted:How the gently caress are all these things even getting greenlit in the first place? Has steam lowered the greenlight requirement to 2 upvotes any length of time apart? Or are there actually just hundreds of mentally disabled people unironically upvoting these things? Or are the devs all paying for shady services to get them greenlight? I feel like they can't all be the latter, as that would require a budget of over $100. Until Valve stepped in to put a stop to it, it was not at all uncommon for devs to promise free keys to folk who voted to get a game greenlit. And if you're wondering how that makes any business sense, most of these games also were using/abusing the card market to get cash.
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Mar 2, 2017 02:34
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Just got a coupon for this game and it looks like a doozy. Generic shitballs horror with  random naked , a room that just has a Hitler propaganda video playing in it, a villain that's just some rear end in a top hat in a trenchcoat, fedora, and gas mask, and also this.
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Mar 4, 2017 21:53
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Spigotry posted:The detail that went into that crocodile's feet unnerves me. Seemingly after a certain point with furries fetishes become like Pokemon and they gotta catch 'em all.
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Mar 10, 2017 21:26
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Discendo Vox posted:I gotta admit, White Dragon, I've been tempted multiple times to do up a big trolly effortpost about your game (which I have, and 100%ed) here. That means you made it further in that game than I did at least. Not sure whether to applaud you or feel sorry for you.
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Mar 13, 2017 00:59
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theDOWmustflow posted:I bought Blackwake this weekend on a whim and I've been having a blast. So much so that I made a thread about it: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3814021&pagenumber=1&perpage=40#post470492409 Are... people somehow getting confused about what thread this is? Maybe the title should be changed to the "terrible steam games megathread" so that people don't assume that this is the normal Steam thread as opposed to the thread where we dump on lovely Steam games?
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Mar 20, 2017 01:15
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I'm going to do something slightly different for this post, in that this is a game that 1) I've actually played, and 2) inexplicably has positive reviews. There are two things to keep in mind about satire as a concept. First, satire works best if your work isn't just straightforwardly embodying all of the flaws of the genre you're parodying with unsubtle "boy this sure is bad huh!!!  " winks and nudges scattered throughout. Second, satire also works best when you're not just repeating the same joke over and over and over again.  Obviously, DLC Quest fails on both of these fronts. An ugly, low-effort indie platformer making fun of DLC as a concept, it feels mostly like someone took a trash-tier flash game and threw it at Greenlight for people to throw money at. DLC Quest, as I mentioned above, has exactly one joke, which is "boy DLC sure is ridiculous and crazy huh?" It's maybe kind of amusing at the very beginning when you're forced to "buy" (via in-game currency, at least) things such as animations, music, and the ability to move your character to the left, but after that's worn out its welcome you still have about a half hour's worth of game to go with no change in comedic direction or writing quality as the game starts to rely increasingly on memes and references instead.  That maybe wouldn't be too bad if the game were at all good as an actual platformer, but the game quality is as low rent as its jokes. The platforming never really feels right, feeling, again, like a cruddy flash game with floaty physics and sluggish controls. The game at least never puts you through any difficult platforming, but it still never feels fun or satisfying to play.  There's also the fact that, as you can see from these screenshots, the graphics are the worst sort of faux-retro pixel garbage you can imagine. When they're not simply generic, as with a lot of the ground tiles and such, they're actively hideous. Maybe it's supposed to be part of the "joke," but again, making fun of lovely graphics by having lovely graphics isn't much of a joke. The game tries to give itself replay value by having two episodes (the second of which, Live Freemium or Die, has slightly better gameplay but infinitely worse writing) and also playing up its speedrun leaderboards, but a game has to actually be fun to play in the first place in order to be fun to speedrun. Really if you play both episodes, you'll just end up with a wasted hour's worth of time and a desire to never want to play or speak of the game ever again. Just don't make the mistake I made some years ago (before the refund system was in place) and don't get this.
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Mar 21, 2017 01:11
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Light Gun Man posted:That game made a lot more sense at release probably. It was originally for Xbox Live Indie/Community Games or whatever if I recall. I mean, the jokes weren't GOOD then but they also weren't literally years stale old either at the time. Honestly it originally being an XBLIG title makes a lot of sense. Still, making fun of lovely games by making a lovely game that's self-aware about how lovely it is doesn't make for a compelling gameplay experience to put it mildly.
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Mar 21, 2017 01:19
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The White Dragon posted:gently caress you pacaplus is like hatoful boyfriend except good I was going to ask how you came to that conclusion but then I remembered that you also think Undertale has lovely writing so really I shouldn't be surprised at this point.
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Mar 28, 2017 10:44
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The White Dragon posted:I mean, yes I do straight dislike Undertale and think it's a really awful game, and I realize sarcasm doesn't translate well over the internet, but when I started quoting Pacaplus's actual machine translation, I thought that'd kinda be the tell. But please do continue to be an example of a person who honestly considers "THEY DIDN'T LIKE UNDERTALE" as a discredit to their character Honestly I don't care if you don't like Undertale, I just legitimately find it confusing that you think it has some of the worst writing you've ever encountered in a video game. 
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Mar 28, 2017 15:09
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Well anyway I posted like a dickhead this morning since I was grumpy and hadn't had coffee yet so I apologize. Now let's put all that behind us and get back to the real subject, which is funny Steam garbage! Have a  (Honestly the screenshot gallery for this one is a scream)
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Mar 28, 2017 21:18
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Really Pants posted:who would win in a fight between MDickie and Cleve Blakemore While MDickie is an insane blowhard I don't think he's an insane blowhard white supremacist so he probably wins by that alone (note that I am only familiar with The You Testament (and even then it's been years) so if he actually is a white supremacist then I agree with SelenicMartian). Ikari Worrier fucked around with this message at 02:00 on Aug 17, 2017 |
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Aug 17, 2017 01:57
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At this point I feel like whomever at Hasbro is in charge of copyright enforcement for MLP has to have a perpetual thousand yard stare due to dealing with bullshit like that game over and over and over
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Aug 17, 2017 16:43
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Arrhythmia posted:Alternative theory: Myst and Riven were really good and sold a billion copies back in the day and people keep going back to that well. This theory doesn't say ANYTHING about Jonathan Blow being the smartest and most influential game developer ever so clearly it can't be right.
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Sep 19, 2017 21:40
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Violently Car posted:They're all from one shovelware producer. Yes it seems like the vast majority of what was removed were blatant asset flips so just the generic sort of terrible Steam shovelware as opposed to mind-flaying horrors like that discipline game
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Sep 27, 2017 13:31
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Dark_Swordmaster posted:We discussed this one a while back I believe. If you go to the actual comic's page you find that it's a very weird and thinly veiled fetish. Calling it "thinly veiled" is being way too generous
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Jan 15, 2018 18:30
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Tobermory posted:Share and enjoy. The best part are the reviews that criticize it for for having senseless and/or sadistic puzzles that lack an underlying logic, or a plot that lacks a clear sense of resolution. On the other hand it's made by the guy who made that Hamlet game which was boring as poo poo so that immediately makes me skeptical.
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Feb 18, 2018 03:04
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Thuryl posted:To the extent that there's a joke, it's just the fact that the essay is applicable often enough that you need an emote for it. Yeah it's literally just a case where the essay was being brought up so often in D&D due to it being so topical in our modern blasted political hellscape that it just made sense to turn it into an emote to save time.
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Jun 12, 2018 23:50
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Glagha posted:
Apparently the writer of the Deponia games is an edgelord who claims that Rufus is supposed to be a satire of the sociopathic actions that adventure game protagonists sometimes get up to but mostly just seemed to be using that as a pretext to be as offensive as possible.
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Jul 23, 2018 16:23
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Eh a better Kickstarter already basically did that joke for its goal amount.
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Jul 26, 2018 01:12
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FirstAidKite posted:Sometimes people laugh at things even if the thing they are laughing at is plentiful and easy to find For example, terrible Guy Mann posts
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Oct 7, 2018 14:32
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Shoehead posted:Doesn't belong in this thread at all, Blood and Bacon is brilliantly stupid Yeah it's not a GREAT game by any stretch of the imagination but it's legit pretty fun for 99 cents (and yeah the game is fully aware of how dumb its premise is and just leans into it)
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Dec 4, 2018 13:46
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Got a coupon for this game a second ago. One of this guy's other games got featured long, long ago in the thread but it's still worth a mention because weird lovely-looking poser models are never not funny to me.
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Mar 3, 2019 23:07
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Don't forget that it'll sometimes recommend poo poo in genres you have never played and clearly don't give a gently caress about "just to see if you're interested"
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Apr 27, 2019 14:51
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Lunatic Sledge posted:I'm not even seeing the word 'birb' on that page It's more on the Kickstarter page but honestly who cares the game looks cute
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Jun 18, 2019 12:02
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