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Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



axeil posted:

at least when the eagles lost to the patriots we didn't do...that.

so how much $$$ do y'all think cousins is gonna get from the skins/~*MYSTERY TEAM*~

Probably something with the first 3 years guaranteed so if he fails, they can move on in 3 years instead of like, say, Joe Flacco's contract where they were locked into a long restructure over the long term. That also gives him the giant $60 MILLION GUARANTEED or whatever headline he/his agent want.

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Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Silly Burrito posted:

Hello Haiti.

Do you think somewhere someday there'll be an insurgency wearing Rise Up jerseys facing a Counter insurgency wearing Panthers' Keep Pounding gear?

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Ehud posted:

I promise this isn't fight club

Signs? Harvey? ... Wait, no this is clearly Drop Dead Fred.

Your only option is to attach him to a Jets fan.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Ehud posted:

he likes working trump into everything

He actually bought on of those MAGA hats

pee on it

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Also I just picture you lifting angrily while an anime pillow lady sits in the corner staring at you with the MAGA hat on.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



MY NIGGA D-LINK posted:

Steelers just cut Justin Gilbert

I'm thinking who the gently caress is that? and then realize that's the CB the Browns drafted #8 overall in 2014.

Woof Gilbert.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Shanahan // Matt Ryan looked terrible last year and then lit the world on fire, so Jed York will clearly give Kyle enough time to get his offense installed and find the pieces he needs to build a successful...

gently caress, sorry in advance Spoeank

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Frank Wycheck has CTE :

http://nypost.com/2017/02/06/nfl-icon-from-music-city-miracle-cte-is-ruining-me/

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



:psyduck:

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



There's nothing wrong with stealing signals, so why wouldn't he?

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Grittybeard posted:

I'd like to think the NFL would wise up eventually and this wouldn't be the case, but Osweiler and stuff so it hasn't happened yet.

Jimmy has shown even less than Brock (he has better stats than Brock in Denver but with such a stupid small sample size that it doesn't matter) and by all rights shouldn't be able to demand much, but then again we're probably going to have at least two teams begging to trade away draft picks for him.

I think that going by previous trades, the expected value of the pick, and what Jimmy has shown, that trading a second for him makes sense. He has shown more then Mallett or Hoyer, and has come on faster then Cassel (who was on pace to take a record number of sacks behind a great offensive line in the first half of 2008 before being fixed).

That's basically where I've been at since like October. I don't think Jimmy is destined to succeed, but I think you can trade a second for him, then if he's good, franchise // extend him at the end of next year, or move on if he's Osweiler.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



evilweasel posted:

I don't think it's worth it for the Patriots to trade him for only a 2nd though. If Brady were 35, I expect that's what he'd command, but Brady is getting up there so you can't just pay what he's worth, you have to pay the Patriots enough to take the risk of letting him go.

You can only even consider that if Brady is willing to let go if he slips, and he doesn't sound willing going by what he's said.

To keep Jimmy you'd almost certainly have to franchise him for 2018 (so $21m ish), a year in which they'd owe Brady $22m or $14m in dead space if they moved on from him.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Grittybeard posted:

He had a solid four or so years of truly great play. The problem is everyone treated him like he was still the same guy after he started to lose his speed, which is what made him special. Like people were still pretending he was one of the best MLBs in the NFL at the end when he was just blah.

Reminded me of the later years of Ray Lewis when the Ravens' scorekeepers were still giving him 15 tackles a game for hopping on the pile a second after the play ended.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



go go go go ROSCOE! posted:

I know it won't happen but how hard of a hit would Houston's salary cap take if they cut Brock?

$19m cap hit for 2017, $25m dead cap hit if they cut him. His entire base salary is guaranteed this year + $3m in signing bonus + $6m in signing bonus over the next two years.

Basically there's just no reason why they won't keep him. The most sensible thing, to me, is that you draft a guy somewhere you're comfortable, and let them compete for the job, and hope the rookie is ready to take over halfway through the season.

When they cut him in 2018, Osweiler will have a dead cap hit of $6m.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Intruder posted:

I'm salivating at the idea of Cutler in Houston and sad that it's not going to happen

I know he's not the greatest but he's good enough to make this team scary

He's also very clearly who he is, and old, so the hosed teams aren't going to be interested in him.

It'd be mutually beneficial for both Cutler and the Texans to get a deal done.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Intruder posted:

Surely there's some kind of weird way to make the contract to minimize the cap hit this year and absorb a larger one next year. I don't know how the rules work for raises tbh, but I assume you can't just completely backload everything. Like a three year deal with a good sized bonus that's spread over the final two years instead of over all three

How did the Patriots magic the cap with Revis exactly?

Giant unpayable team option + No franchise tag clause (probably not necessary for Cutler)

So say you want to pay Cutler $12m for one year, but can't afford that, instead do:

Signing Bonus: $11m
2017: Base salary: $1m, SB: $5.5m, Cap hit: $6.5m
2018: Base salary: $1m, SB: $5.5m. Option Bonus: $13.5m, Cap hit: $20m or if cut: $5.5m. (of course, this means you now have $11.5m in dead money between Brock and Cutler... so maybe you instead do a 3 year deal and trust Cutler is worth it).

The funniest version is the Joe Flacco special:

$29m Signing bonus ($5.8m per year)
2013: $1m base: Cap hit: $6.8m
2014: $6m base: $15m option bonus picked up (add $3m per year), Cap hit: $14.8m.
2015: $4m base: $7m option bonus #2 picked up (add $1.75m per year), Cap hit: $14.5m
2016: $18m base, Cap hit: $28.5m
2017: $20.6m base, Cap hit: $31.1m
2018: $20m base, Cap hit: $24.7m

Needless to say, that's why Flacco got a 3 year extension in 2016 and they can't think about moving on from him until 2020. With his extension, Joe Flacco would cost $47.3m in dead money to cut this year

his cap hits are now:

2016: $22.5m
2017: $24.5m
2018: $24.5m
2019: $26.5m
2020: $28.2m
2021: $24.2m

Kalli fucked around with this message at 00:14 on Feb 9, 2017

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



.... man

https://twitter.com/DavidJohnson31/status/829470564355969024

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Which NFL player is most likely to go all Charles Oakley on his team's owner?

(ps, go check twitter if you haven't)

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Amy Pole Her posted:

10k? So that 10 year old kid has collected 200,000 cans and turned them in?

I mean, it's pretty much exactly what you think it is, but the $10k was a scholarship gift from Shutterfly.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



https://twitter.com/CoreyJH_/status/829822857559547912

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



sean10mm posted:

Like DVOA which you hate?

Yeah, like by the time you want to massage the statistics based on situation, you're pretty much down to either DVOA/DYAR or QBR and I think you can go ahead and toss QBR out of hand.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



I only want a fake account that tweets about nothing but his love of watersports.

------------------

Also here's some FCC complaints about the Superbowl:

quote:

Cottage Grove, Oregon

My husband, five children aging 6-17 were watching Fox telivion [sic], the patriots were getting awarded the Lombardi trophy after winning the super bowl. I was feeling inspiration for the kids, that anything is possible for my childrens [sic] future. The whole time they are walking the trophy down you hear the F word or MF over and over. It was ridiculous to have people that your kids look up to, hearing verbiage like that. I thought there was a mandaty [sic] time delay for reasons like this. I didn't invite that language into my house but yet it was there during family TV time. I'm outraged that the technology provided doesn't better protect innocent ones from those obscenities. I think this has to stop and someone needs to make sure it doesn't happen anymore. Totally dissatisfied with what you allow!!! It can be avoided!

...
San Antonio, Texas

The African American guy carrying a silver trophy was yelling "motherfucker" at least two times. This is inappropriate for young viewers and Fox has crossed the line as well as the NFL.

....
Rosemead, California

At the end of the superbowl [sic] a black teammate congratulated tom brady and told him "YOURE THE GREATEST, YOURE THE loving GREATEST, YOURE THE loving GREATEST!"

...
Hazlehurst, Georgia

I cannot believe Willie McGinest is so uncouth he cannot find a better word than motherfu##er while carrying the Lombardi trophy past players and fans. This happened after Superbowl 51 on Feb 5 2017. Obviously fox was unaware because it was not bleeped out. He told fans and players to kiss it, kiss this motherfu##er, tongue kiss it. I mean really. And while staring into camera.

....
Jupiter, Florida

I think the T-Mobile super bowl commercials are extremely inappropriate for young audiences due to the sado-masochism innuendos. This is much worse than Janet Jackson's accidental exposure!! I'm just glad it's a school night and my children went to bed since I live on the East coast [sic].

...
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

T-Mobile aired two indecent sexual commercials during the Super Bowl. This is supposed to be a family event. The kids already have to leave during the sexually charged halftime show and now they have to leave for the commercials. Families all over the country now have to explain BDSM to their kids and how their new campaign of #TheSafeWordIsUnlimited is appropriate.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



If anyone wants some offensive line pornography: http://insidethepylon.com/film-study/film-study-nfl/offense-film-study-nfl/2017/02/10/2016-underrated-nfl-offensive-line-team-awards/

It's writeups on five of the best performing little noticed linemen this year along with a bunch of video highlights showing sweet rear end / hilariously terrible blocking plays:

You gotta at least watch Riley Reiff kill some poor bastard on a screen play.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Floyd will probably be in prison for a short stint and suspended half the year, and it's not like he was a good player at all last season. He'll probably spend the next year and a half bouncing around trying to rebuild his career, and probably be a good reclamation project wherever he ends up.

Amendola's scheduled to make $8m next year (lol), with $1.5m in dead money, so he'll either take a massive paycut or get cut.

Patriots will probably either restructure Amendola or get someone cheap and probably try and re-sign Bennett instead of spending any real money on WR's.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Man, Saints fans are savage

Float for Mardi Gras:

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



evilweasel posted:

How much cash did he actually get paid and got to keep?

Probably a bit under $5m.

His base salary his rookie year was league minimum and he played some of his sophmore year, so that's about half a million, and he had an $12m signing bonus, but at least $7m of that was deferred roster bonuses, that he never got.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Man Jeff George could throw it a mile.

I can't decide on my favorite play. The flea flickers? Culpepper no selling a Packers sack then throwing it 50 yards?

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Kirios posted:

is maybe the greatest individual play I've ever seen. Still gives me goosebumps just how fast he was.

There's another "jesus christ his speed" moment at 3:50 where he takes a little WR screen.

At 5:45 he chumps Rodney Harrison.

6:20 are when the Pats highlights starts and that loving catch against the Dolphins where he injures two defenders by catching a bomb between them. unnnfffff

Kalli fucked around with this message at 01:37 on Feb 14, 2017

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



That video features three different flea flickers so I declare it to be the greatest video ever made.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Chromatic posted:

what was jeff george's problem again? stupid or just too much of an rear end in a top hat to get it

that arm though

He was an rear end in a top hat with a ton of personal problems that everyone hated.

http://www.si.com/vault/1996/10/07/...ious-conversion

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Yeah, apparently half the players scheduled to go have cancelled so far.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Intruder posted:

What have you seen to lead you to believe this will happen

Aside from Brady and Gronk I'm trying to think of who the Patriots paid their real value for any amount of time (Revis doesn't count, that was a rental, and hell Brady isn't making as much as he should really)

Solder and McCourty currently for the most part. Other guys would be players like Wilfork, Mayo, Mankins, Seymour... guys with skill sets that are too difficult to replace in their 2nd contracts.

But yeah, the Patriots have had a habit of extending players early to get them at a discount (Gronk is the primary option of that), and spending more on tertiary players and older vets past their prime money years instead of the prime 2nd contract guys that tend to eat all the cap space.


Chichevache posted:

You are speaking up for Israel?:psyboom:

The funniest god damned thing recently is the alt-right infighting over whether to work with Israel's far right on anything. The Nazi that got doxxed for having a jewish wife was just :discourse:

Hot Diggity! posted:

It's good that NFL players are starting to be more openly left. Still light-years behind the NBA.

Steph Curry sonning the CEO of underarmor was pretty great.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Ehud posted:

We have a mod?!

Let's find out.

Andrew Luck looks like Sloth from the Goonies and a hairy ballsack from 70's porn had a baby.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



whiteyfats posted:

I didn't vote for him.


#notmymoderator

We need the strong firm hand of a despot willing to cull through the report list and talk about gardening and home remodeling with the other 30-somethings they wrangle to be mods.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Unless Andrew Luck's contract says he gets to pick who they draft and sign in free agency, then no, I don't think it's the problem.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Bad Moon posted:

If that had been a clause in his rookie contract they probably wouldn't have done worse

This made me look at who were the top players drafted each year from Stanford, and hmm....

2013 - Zach Ertz, TE
2014 - Trent Murphy, DE
2015 - Andrus Peat, T
2016 - Joshua Garnett, G

That looks like an... okay list?

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Millennials.

e: hah, gently caress.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



The occupying Russian Chinese North Korean forces.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

Malcolm Butler’s life story is going to get the Blind Side treatment.

Who plays Bill Belichick?

Bill Murray.

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Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



And we can just sub in a different TFFer for each scene Matt Patricia is in.

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