NFL February N/V: Now back to facing the Apocalypse.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL February N/V: Now back to facing the Apocalypse.

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Shanny officially the fourth 49ers head coach in 4 years.

Eager to see who the coach is next season!

# ¿ Feb 7, 2017 01:36

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 22:53

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Kalli posted:

Shanahan // Matt Ryan looked terrible last year and then lit the world on fire, so Jed York will clearly give Kyle enough time to get his offense installed and find the pieces he needs to build a successful...

gently caress, sorry in advance Spoeank

Jokes on you when Kaepernick opts out we we won't even have a quarterback on the roster to disappoint us year one :smug:

# ¿ Feb 7, 2017 03:24

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Why yes I would love to give you the second overall and another pick for the Tom Brady Backup du jour. That seems like a reasonable return.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2017 16:31

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

I wish it was a 49er

# ¿ Feb 9, 2017 03:40

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Groovelord Neato posted:

the pats have like five players way handsomer than flacco.

Is this where homerism takes us in February

# ¿ Feb 10, 2017 17:56

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap3000000785171/article/john-lynchs-daughter-the-49ers-are-horrible

quote:

Most general managers and coaches sit squarely in a vortex of meaningless words, spewing non-answers and droning on about nothingness. Their children, however, can speak the truth.

Speaking with NFL Network's Michael Silver on Thursday after his introductory news conference, 49ers GM John Lynch told the story of his 9-year-old daughter getting upset after his hiring by the team.

"I think the toughest one -- I haven't told this yet to the media -- all my kids took it really well," Lynch said. "They were shocked but they took it really well. My 9-year-old started bawling, and she's not that girl. She's the one that was always happy. And she was crying, and I said, 'What's wrong Leah? Are you afraid? Is there some nervous anxiety about moving?' And she said, 'No daddy,' and she was sobbing. And I said, 'What's wrong?' And she said, 'The 49ers are horrible.' So, I said, 'Well, I think that's why they hired your daddy."

Leah is not wrong. (Maybe she can get an assistant GM title?)

The 49ers own one of the worst rosters in the NFL. Their 2-14 season came a year after a 5-11 season. They are on their third coach in three years. They don't have a reliable quarterback. They have a bunch of No. 3 and No. 4 receivers. Their defense finished dead last in the NFL in stopping the run in 2016 (by more than 20 yards per game).

Lynch's job will be to quickly infuse talent into a roster worn thin by poor drafts, early retirements and injuries.

The 49ers are "horrible," to use Leah's word. Now Lynch and coach Kyle Shanahan are there to help resurrect the NFL's one-time model franchise.

It can't get worse, right?

# ¿ Feb 10, 2017 18:50

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Two hours? No real prep? Running off to make deals?

If it's good enough for the President to run the country it's good enough for Steve

# ¿ Feb 12, 2017 19:40

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Torrey Smith, Victor Cruz, uhhhhh Pierre Garcon probably

your 2017 San Francisco 49ers wide receivers. Who will throw to them? Matt Schaub, perhaps?

Taste the excitement.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2017 20:20

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Exactly what the Colts need to go after, more WRs.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2017 22:22

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Aldon Smith going to great lengths to not be reinstated so nobody realizes all his sack numbers were due to Justin Smith

# ¿ Feb 13, 2017 23:43

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

He was horrendous in pass coverage and bad at run stopping. And almost all of his sacks involved Smith hooking the guard and the tackle but he was good enough to take advantage of it.

And it's not sas-flowchart.txt. I, and many others were saying it at the time. Justin got hurt and missed a handful of games and Aldon disappeared. That pretty much solidified it.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2017 00:53

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

I hate it when people express their rights to discuss the direction this country, and the world, is headed, too.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2017 18:35

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Some waitress has just as valid an opinion you dingbat.

Do you not loving understand democracy it's literally our civic loving duty to discuss this poo poo

# ¿ Feb 14, 2017 18:41

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Colin Kaepernick

# ¿ Feb 15, 2017 16:31

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

A HEARTY HOOK EM TO THE FUTURE STARTING QUARTERBACK OF THE SAN FRANCISCO FORTY NINERS

# ¿ Feb 16, 2017 06:40

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Chichevache posted:

They sent four people too many. He's been getting wrecked one-on-one all year long.

# ¿ Feb 17, 2017 00:21

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

I'm sure once we see the cell video we'll know why he was knocked out for ten minutes.

Classic. Fencing. Response.

# ¿ Feb 17, 2017 05:20

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

fsif posted:

Oh?

https://twitter.com/Rotoworld_FB/status/832634649985716229

Kirk.

Join us.

# ¿ Feb 17, 2017 18:50

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Irish Football Tapeman and Professional Hot Take Artist Cian Fahey cherry picked 5 or 6 non-dreadful Kaepernick passes from last season to defend the fact that Colin Kaepernick Is Actually Good Guys, so if you want to know the next dumb thing that is going to come down the pike

# ¿ Feb 17, 2017 20:08

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

No, Trent. Hit the *hole*

with an L

https://twitter.com/WVTM13/status/832680121886728192

Edit: Also Michael Floyd sentenced to 120 days in jail

Spoeank fucked around with this message at 21:23 on Feb 17, 2017

# ¿ Feb 17, 2017 21:19

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Chromatic posted:

I know Watkins isn't a bust, but would it be out of bounds to call him a disappointment so far?

He played more than half a season twice out of three years and has over 2,000 yards and 15 touchdowns with shaky QBs in those years (16 & 13 games). He may have been over drafted but he's doing just fine except for 2016.

# ¿ Feb 18, 2017 10:08

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Chromatic posted:

*car crash noises*

pleasegetschaubpleasegetschaub

"Matt Schaub, Brian Hoyer could be among 49ers’ targets"

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2017/02/18/matt-schaub-brian-hoyer-could-be-among-49ers-targets/

I already said in the NFC West thread a lovely one year QB is what's going to happen if Cousins gets tagged again. The Niners have space to pay him, Shanny wants him and he wants Shanny. It's just biding our time for a year. If he gets a long-term contract with Washington then it's time to worry but getting a QB with our first rounder would be retarded. And that includes Jimmy G.

# ¿ Feb 18, 2017 18:22

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Dammit don't make me like you you football deflating piece of crap

# ¿ Feb 22, 2017 21:26

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

Just imagine cigars are like wine. Crap wine is universally crap, good wine is the wine you like.

I have over 100 bottles of wine pretty much at all times (surprise) but Napa wine can kiss my fuckin rear end, it's overrated crap.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 03:23

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

You know a handle of Titos is like $25 at Costco, right?

Okay. And?

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 03:45

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Miss

U

Coach

http://www.thescore.com/nfl/news/1238478

"I think we did set a record for coaching there the longest under the present ownership," Harbaugh said, according to KNBR. "I take pride in that. Maybe there should be an endurance medal, a courage medal, for that."

# ¿ Feb 24, 2017 07:55

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

FizFashizzle posted:

Hey ross I'm at a wedding and one older guy from Nevada knows the Spanos family. He says they're all "loving assholes"

Also he constantly called the raiders the traitors and the niners the whiners.

Guy was like 80 and he loving owned.

Uhm, old man mods???

# ¿ Feb 25, 2017 07:27

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Gronk's brain just stopped growing at 15 and that's a-okay in my book

If you disagree, pull the stick out of your rear end

# ¿ Feb 26, 2017 22:58

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

FizFashizzle posted:

What the gently caress is going on here

Washington imploding is as unsurprising as anyone wanting to go to san francisco is surprising.

Cousins love love loves Shanahan.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2017 16:01

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

fishing with the fam posted:

He should turn misleading tweets into his thing.

Edit: Hey, new page. Ummm...someone is going to throw a poo poo ton of money at Alshon Jeffery and be super annoyed when he spends half his contract injured.

Mariota2Alshon

# ¿ Feb 28, 2017 18:15

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 22:53

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Turdsdown Tom posted:

leveon bell can't handle taking the L so now he's talking about how the outcome would have been different in the AFCCG if he was healthy lmao

yeah leveon and imagine if gronk was healthy too, then the Pats might have dropped a few more touchdowns on your face

did you come here to talk poo poo to leveon bell because I don't think he posts here man

# ¿ Mar 4, 2017 19:19

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL February N/V: Now back to facing the Apocalypse.