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PaulBearer posted:Wow. *writing furtively on napkin* blame... telephone... booths
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Mar 3, 2017 19:26
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The Bloop posted:Print out the internet and leave it on the woods. Harvest the woods for the paper to print out the internet, leave a towering bundle of wank material in the middle of a wasteland, like some straight up Ozymandias poo poo.
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Apr 6, 2017 15:14
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I can't wait to spank the child molester that has made my life miserable.
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Apr 6, 2017 20:53
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Myrddin_Emrys posted:Jokes on you, they will kill you if you tried to get in. Yeah, don't you have to be a stone cold ex super soldier to get that posting?
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Apr 26, 2017 19:54
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Solice Kirsk posted:Yeah, but they're still English ex super soldiers soooooo, you know. Could probably distract them by asking whether they support or hate Liverpool. Engaging a British killing machine on the topic of football is probably not the best tactic if self preservation is a priority.
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Apr 26, 2017 20:00
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Grey Fox posted:So does bathing. Yeah, but being without rank odor promotes the sin of lust, which Christ abhors. Nothing promotes carnal forbearance quite like being a permadrunk pile of grey microbial fudge endlessly spewing plumes of smoke so thick & sustaining that you can write your suicide note on them.
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Sep 16, 2017 23:19
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:She had a set of rainbow jar solar lights hanging in her yard that spell out “Love” and “Ohana": I'm super disappointed because I expected something gay. That's relentlessly Midwestern mom. Midwestern moms are naturally drawn to themed collections of surprisingly expensive crafts that express common pleasant feelings. My wife's mom covered the walls of her house in tiny decorative outhouses and farming implements that say "love" "togetherness" "happy" and whatnot. My mother enjoys cows, but is otherwise anhedonic, so she covers her house in cow art that lacks treacly phrases. I mean, I'm sure a very motherly, uncreative gay person could have been behind those jars, but if I was rolling by I wouldn't think that the homo agenda was spreading; I'd think that someone's mom ran out of room in the house and so she was forced to go to work on the yard. I'd imagine a middle aged man watching her ruin his lawn from inside the house, a single tear tracing the contour of his cheek. "Those goddamn jars," he'd mutter. "Those goddamn loving jars."
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Nov 4, 2017 20:18
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beato posted:I think you mean California Man. "ONE GIANT poo poo BITCH BEAR" is basically my spirit animal.
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Nov 22, 2017 21:17
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dumb. posted:I can't fault you for enjoying them, but they are to poutine what these things are to pizza: "And your crust, sir? How would you like it?" "Hm, make it garlic... aw, hell, make it garlic buttery!" "Sir, have you suffered a stroke?" "...I have, yes."
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Dec 4, 2017 23:04
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Peeny Cheez posted:This one is better for that It's like he's staring through my soul... at a picture of vintage anime tits pasted to the wall behind me.
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Feb 2, 2018 20:17
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Well we can't go to Jupiter, I hear it makes us more stupider!
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Feb 22, 2018 23:52
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steampunk Mickey Mouse club
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Mar 10, 2018 07:32
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Solice Kirsk posted:I always wanted a girl's father to ask me this so I could say, "To get to know you better sir." When he starts to go "son, what in the everloving gently caress are you trying to say?" that's when you interrupt him with a single finger shush, then let it sensually drag down his lips and chin while you breathily intone "Why so impatient... we'll get there."
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Mar 27, 2018 23:38
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1stGear posted:I'm trying to imagine Mads Mikkelsen in a role where the character isn't vaguely sinister/an outright villain and its just not happening. Mister Fantastic with a bit of sinister would be extremely cool tho. Smartest guy in any given room\star system he enters, kind of a well meaning but domineering & patronizing dick, maybe doesn't see humanity as being on the same level as him, even if he won't consciously admit it to himself. A really nice guy when things go his way (they generally do) but when he looks at you you get the sense you're an insect to him or, at best, a child.
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Apr 10, 2018 16:52
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also his bod goes wibbly wobbly
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Apr 10, 2018 17:04
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chitoryu12 posted:Eh, that might be a bit too Doctor Doom. Reed Richards is still supposed to be a loving husband and father despite his intelligence and tendency to get hyper-focused on a problem. I think Richards can be a nice guy who tries to love his family while also being alienated from humanity to a degree by his intelligence and a hubris that he won't admit to himself. Doom is Richards if he didn't have a family to stabilize him, he had a lovely upbringing, he was more focused on solving the ol' human problem instead of pure science, and there was someone around who was both 10 IQ points smarter than him and better liked by everyone for him to constantly want to take down a notch. E: also, Doom is Richards if he went CLANG CLANG CLANG instead of wibbly wobbly.
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Apr 10, 2018 18:01
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Parrotine posted:Why are so many people putting Comey on a pedestal lately anyhow? He's the chucklefuck who helped put Trump in office in the first place, Frankenstein can't be surprised that his monster turned on him. He had that interview where he was all "a bloo bloo bloo, I tried to be a good FBI man; how was I to know it'd result in me hiding in the white house curtains in a vain attempt to escape clasping the pseudopod extending from the wad of sentient pumpkin colored cookie dough in chief." And now everyone is all like "I'm also regretful and kind of whiny. Maybe he's not so bad."
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Apr 19, 2018 07:04
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Shnicker posted:I voted for Ralph Nader. Do you one better I voted Libertarian. It was the first time I was legally allowed to vote. My only excuses were that I was young, white, male and an English Lit prof told me he carried his own luggage at the airport, which really impressed me for some reason.
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May 11, 2018 18:46
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DACK FAYDEN posted:...as opposed to doing what exactly? Having the help carry their luggage, like some ESTABLISHMENT DICK, basically.
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May 11, 2018 20:29
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On the plus side, the way things are going the first world will be an even more hosed up & ravaged corporatist hellhole by the time we're elderly, so it won't even be embarrassing to be some kind of panhandling rag creature.
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May 15, 2018 23:45
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Jamesman posted:I hope she's doing well. It's funny getting older, isn't it? That was the first thing that occurred to me too.
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May 23, 2018 22:06
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Hjalmar posted:you grow up and people like the goatse man seem like old friends & you sincerely hope he's out there living his best life It's like how you catch some movie with animals from when you were a kid and think "Those animals are way dead now  " except, Lemon Party.
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May 23, 2018 22:32
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Regy Rusty posted:The first one is mozzarella in America too... Let them have this. I think it means a lot to them.
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May 25, 2018 14:57
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"We called it venom cheese because, much like venom, it should never enter your body."
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May 25, 2018 15:03
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It's a nation that, when they were trying to pick a unified language, went, "ooh, let's pick the one that reminds one of a beautiful, tiny man hopping around angrily, pounding his open palm with a clenched fist & yelling at the sunset." Born to be fussy.
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May 25, 2018 18:47
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Aleph Null posted:I, too come from a place where the size of your rims is more important than the size of your penis. It's not the size of your wiener that counts, it's the phenomenology of your spirit.
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May 31, 2018 21:47
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Bombadilillo posted:Hiding under a Casper mattress high on joe Rogan neutrophic brain pills drat I haven't thought of Joe Rogan still being a thing in like forever. Do you listen to him? What's he like now? Does he still get evil weirdos and mma people on and then have inane three hour conversations with them about Brazilian steak houses and how Wesley Snipes doesn't like taxes?
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Jun 15, 2018 16:40
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JOE: Jordan Peterson, I know what you're saying about ladies, but are they are really that bad? I've met a lot of really great stewardesses in my day and like have you ever been to El Norte over in Silver Lake? There's this 50 year old mamcita there that makes the most BANGIN barbacoa I've ever had in my entire life, so... she's probably pretty smart. *gets distracted by a passing fly* hey, have you ever like smoked tire rubber then meditated in one of those planes that goes down at just the right angle so that it feels like zero gravity? BRIAN REDBAN: *cackles like that little monster guy that hangs out with Jabba The Hutt*
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Jun 15, 2018 16:57
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zoux posted:AHUHUHUHEEEM YOU GODDAM NNNNNERD THANKS FOR THE CLEAR UP, AAAAAAGH.
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Jun 15, 2018 19:50
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Marcade posted:A kraut who lick he own rear end, a shameful kraut. gonna go out on a limb and say the shame makes it good.
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Jun 21, 2018 22:15
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punchymcpunch posted:doctor says: i know what'll cheer you up. the three tenors are in town, go check em out. doctor: I know what will cheer you up; weed! *pulls out bag of weed* pagliacci: no, it makes me really paranoid and anxious doctor: you're just using the wrong strains! you need a mellow body high! pagliacci: no, that doesn't work it all makes my thoughts race and- doctor: hey, whose been emotionally dependent on the same drug since 8th grade here? pagliacci: uh... you? doctor: exactly! so trust my six years of first hand experience when I say you need a body high! pagliacci: I swear it doesn't wo- wait, how old are you? doctor: hey, I'm not on trial here! Michigan, yes, but Colorado? No. pagliacci: *puts hands on hips, chuckles* and I though *I* was the clown in this situation!
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Jul 12, 2018 15:47
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Paladinus posted:Really? I hear he's awful. You haven’t really poked holes in their assertion here.
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Jul 12, 2018 18:07
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Phlegmish posted:Where I live, even a lovely mini-castle would go for much more than that...but then I'm assuming Tijeras, New Mexico is in the middle of nowhere. It's friggin' New Mexico. Like, New Mexico is basically Delaware without trees or moisture in the air, and exists so that libertarian and libertarian adjacent middle aged men can move there and then brag to friends and family up north about how they everything is so cheap. "Look at all this loose corn, raw turquoise and shotgun ammo I got for, like, half the price of one of your lefty chemotherapy sessions!"
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Jul 30, 2018 17:17
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BiggerBoat posted:I was born in New Mexico and raised in Delaware (true story) so this post caught my eye. An old company I worked for headquartered in Wilmington for that reason. They conducted their business shark style, ie keep moving, securing really big, bad loans from Delaware banks, based on projections of growth, then spend all the loan money on a bunch of acquisitions to show on paper they grew, then start over with newer, bigger, badder loans. The mind reels. Delaware has Yeungling and Wawa, however, so it is technically part of a slim profile of truly terrific states in the Union.
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Jul 30, 2018 18:43
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SpacePig posted:Those are both native to Pennsylvania, bub. I'm not gonna slander Delaware or anything, but I'm also not going to sit by while someone gives them credit for PA's stuff. Yeah, but they're both available there. It's slim profile, like I said, but every state that has both Yeungling and Wawa gets added to the list of Best States, regardless of how lovely and bleak they are to live in otherwise. If there's a state that has both, plus a Taco Johns, I would seriously consider moving.
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Jul 30, 2018 20:50
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I'll do it, you fuckers. I'll move to all those states. Watch me do it. I'm doing it.
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Jul 30, 2018 21:51
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Ziv Zulander posted:What's so special about yeungling? Microbreweries are a dime a dozen these days, America is lousy with phenomenal local beers right now It's a completely nice, inoffensive beer that is really cheap if you are in one of the states that have it. It's not worth a pilgrimage or anything, but it's High Life tier, price-wise, while tasting nothing like corn and bubbles. I'd always have it when I had to work out of the corporate offices, or was working at a site in some rando east coast state and it was just kind of... good. It's pleasant and asks nothing of you. Its lack of specialness makes it special. Shame about the anti labor poo poo though. Did not know that. Wawa coffee and sandwiches remain extremely good though.
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Jul 31, 2018 00:39
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Wrestling fans don't have massive blind spots when it comes to their thing & inappropriately bring up wrestling and how it has a great example of progressive views on X real world issue in mixed company, accidentally outing themselves as massive perverts\weirdos in the process. ANIME 1: feminism intersects with leftist politics in many fundamental- 2: DID YOU SAY FEMINISM? One of my newest intellectual repasts, "Oh! My Feral Princess" has some rather interesting things to say on the subject, with the titular princesses themselves being paragons of female power. 1: *googles it* so wait, the men turn the women into dogs with dick shaped wands, then let them be human once a week if they do their bidding? And they have sex with the women dogs? 2: Yes... well, it IS a complex narrative... WRESTLING 1: I like headlocks 2: I also like headlocks 3: feminism intersects with leftist politics in many- 1: woah, wait, we were talking about headlocks 2: yeah, not that other thing 3: oh, sorry 1: s'cool 2: yeah, s'fine Anime is media veganism, vis a vis not being able to shut the gently caress up about it, except most vegans don't accidentally come off as pedophiles. E: I hope this short presentation has changed your mind, picture on the internet.
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Aug 17, 2018 19:58
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burial posted:This isn’t a real thing though, right? Please don’t let this be a real thing and/or anecdote. made it up because my profession allows me no creative outlets, so I bother people on the internet instead.
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Aug 17, 2018 20:27
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Guy Goodbody posted:There's something weird about those people who can't hear the word anime without going into a tirade about how much they hate anime. Shouldn't you be busy posting a picture of a fence post with absolutely no context attributed?
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Aug 17, 2018 20:58
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