Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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alnilam

Mississauga but it's like Mrs. Aoooga

# ¿ Apr 27, 2017 21:47

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 12:42

alnilam

mrbradlymrmartin posted:

that aint how u say it?

It is but like you really emphasize the Aooooga like you're an old timey horn
and it's Mrs. That
idk just spitballin here!

# ¿ Apr 28, 2017 18:04

alnilam

I'll show you a joke not worth making a thread about... if you turn your screen off :twisted:

# ¿ Apr 29, 2017 23:36

alnilam

deep dish peat moss posted:

A new game show called Crash Cab

Cash Crab

# ¿ May 1, 2017 03:49

alnilam

mrbradlymrmartin posted:

battle you're parents

# ¿ May 1, 2017 15:45

alnilam

knock knock

# ¿ May 2, 2017 23:25

alnilam

joke_explainer posted:

like the babadook, but it's a wifi enabled smart appliance that costs hundreds of dollars

"Mummy I want to read this one"
"Hmm I don't recall seeing that one before.. it says 'insert proprietary BabaPak(TM)'"

# ¿ May 9, 2017 12:10

alnilam

Halfway thru the movie her internet stops working and all the scary stuff stops, but she also gets really bored from no internet, she has to choose between restarting her router to fix it and risk the scary stuff resuming, or continuing to be bored

# ¿ May 9, 2017 12:16

alnilam

i am he posted:

a time traveler from the 60s that runs into all sorts of funny problems like always making smoke detectors go off because they smoke inside, getting kicked off an airplane because they smoke inside, etc.

Austin Powers 4: Wherein Austin Struggles With Civilian Life

# ¿ May 9, 2017 21:34

alnilam

Starman Super DX posted:

oh yeah I'm glad this thread got bumped. I had like a silly sketch like South Park style satire joke although it's not particularly riveting

Like I noticed this thing where middle aged men acquire exercise equipment but never actually use any of it or stop using it and refuse to get rid of it because they might use it in the future (but probably not.)
So I imagined this extremely tongue-in-cheek situation where middle aged men with huge guts are nerding out over collecting expensive and interesting exercise equipment despite never using it. Like there are whole conventions of these guys just talking about how cool their hobby is and discussing all equipment collecting relating things all the while being generally out of shape and gross.

that's a comedc and satirical situation that I enjoy, in concept, thanks for sharing

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 18:10

alnilam

deep dish peat moss posted:

Abvertising, where shredded people sell ad space on their ripped abs

*atears off shirt and my sexy 6pk reads "YEAH, I ALWAYS LOOK TOO... THIS SPACE FOR HIRE. 1-800-555-6PAK"*

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 19:30

alnilam

*evening news voice* there's a new trend sweeping the tri county area, it's called itching the vine and your teen may already be doing it. find out what it is and what parents and school administrators are doing about it, tonight at 8.

# ¿ Jun 26, 2017 14:54

alnilam

Jedrick posted:

Sonic the Hedge Fund

gotta grow fast

# ¿ Jun 27, 2017 02:13

alnilam

I enjoyed that post but a friendly reminder to plz remember no politics rule

# ¿ Jul 5, 2017 17:22

alnilam

A crossover movie between Operation Dumbo Drop and Outbreak, like most of ODD happens and then they drop the elephant and it's the opening scene of Outbreak and the elephant explodes and then the rest of the movie is Outbreak

# ¿ Jul 6, 2017 18:22

alnilam

darth_pizza posted:

That's dopey idea but it would make money for somebody like Adam Sandler or Will Farrell

Well good then let them develop it into a full thread or movie bc doing so would be outside the purview of this thread

# ¿ Jul 9, 2017 05:36

alnilam

sebmojo posted:

scorpion builds a bridge over a river, frog falls off and dies, camera zooms in on scorpion's horrified expression

Like this if u cry every tyme

# ¿ Jul 19, 2017 22:23

alnilam

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Alright, go hog wild.

I'm so glad the thread got made

# ¿ Jul 23, 2017 22:55

alnilam

Natural Mail Enhancement:

tailwind helps a mail plane get there faster
bird friends carry small letters from mail carrier to ppls houses (falconry???)
climb a tree to get into upper floors of apt bldg to deliver packages

# ¿ Aug 4, 2017 18:04

alnilam

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

I'm not high; I just have strong opinions about Robert Fripp.

me irl

# ¿ Aug 10, 2017 15:59

alnilam

FactsAreUseless posted:

Oh, you mean that guy who hung around Adrian Belew, an actual good guitarist?

# ¿ Aug 10, 2017 22:23

alnilam

Robert Fripp, 1981, all coy and nervous and twiddling his fingers and drawing in the dirt w his foot: "gee, mr belew, sir, do you think i could maybe possibly be in your band, king crimson?"

Adrian Belew, white tee with cig pack rolled up in sleeve, takes long drag on cig: "sure kid, just don't get in my way, got it?"

# ¿ Aug 10, 2017 22:28

alnilam

FactsAreUseless posted:

Jokes that are extremely 70s but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

i like them, those jokes

# ¿ Aug 10, 2017 23:10

alnilam

*Phil Manzanera runs in out of breath* HEY GUYS i made it

# ¿ Aug 10, 2017 23:11

alnilam

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Also, Brian Eno is the musical equivalent of two retirees talking about the weather.

I agree he's extremely good

# ¿ Aug 11, 2017 02:11

alnilam

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

On account of this thread I went and listened to Another Green World yesterday and I was like "Woops...I hope that slips under the radar."

I'll come running to tie your shoe, my friend, EVEn though you made fun of his ambient stuff

# ¿ Aug 12, 2017 00:18

alnilam

FactsAreUseless posted:

Warm Jets, Tiger Mountain, Green World, and Before Science are all great albums

# ¿ Aug 12, 2017 04:36

alnilam

AverySpecialfriend posted:

i've heard of a sex tape before, but this is ridiculous

# ¿ Aug 26, 2017 13:39

alnilam

hull_cogan posted:

*me, at burger king trying to impress my chinese friends with knowledge of their culture* I'll have one burger and a pair of "chop sticks" to eat the burger with, please.

lol

# ¿ Aug 29, 2017 11:50

alnilam

Yeah, I vape *boils water on a stove*

# ¿ Sep 1, 2017 13:58

alnilam

naming the main character Sheeple in crono trigger so that at the beginning the first dialog box is crono's mom saying WAKE UP SHEEPLE....

and other jokes related to someone bring named sheeple or an actual species called sheeple

# ¿ Sep 6, 2017 12:04

alnilam

Olive Garden tonight! posted:

Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a Final Fantasy game for

# ¿ Sep 7, 2017 03:04

alnilam

"this is actually a really good joke and has some potential, make the game imo"

6 months later final fantasy 5 comes out

# ¿ Sep 7, 2017 03:05

alnilam

vanisher posted:

Bruce Wayne to dog: conquer your fears, become fear to your enemies

(Dog dressed as a vacuum waits under bush as ups driver runs up driveway with a package)

Lol

# ¿ Sep 7, 2017 22:27

alnilam

free Trapt CD posted:

my weekend? it got a bit crazy. you remember that old toy the slip 'n' slide? to cut a long story short, i have a yeast infection

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Eyes going back and forth between a bicycle pump and a box of Franzia

# ¿ Sep 10, 2017 02:50

alnilam

vanisher posted:

"This is a stick up"

# ¿ Sep 11, 2017 21:19

alnilam

canyoneer posted:

giorgione's cool, but rude
caravaggio is a party dude

# ¿ Sep 27, 2017 00:07

alnilam

Twenty Four posted:

A dog that somehow walks around on the ceiling and is an actual "updog".

an actual henway that is a road along which thousands of hens run :3:

# ¿ Sep 29, 2017 12:24

alnilam

Starman Super DX posted:

Since my last thread is going down in spectacular flames, I thought I would take my next idea to the jokes workshop first.

I've been reading my favorite author, Kurt Vonnegut (which is saying a lot because I don't read nearly as much as I should) and I thought it would be funny to write in the style of Breakfast of Champions about the daily minutia of our lives. Even without a real point, it still sounds just as absurd/mildly depressing.

"Starman loved to speak to people through something called the internet. The internet was a thing intended to be a way for people to share information over vast distances. It was invented by the military in 1969 and is now mainly used to distribute pornography. Starman spent most of his time speaking to people through a website called Something Awful. A website often stored information or dirty pictures. This website had both. Their logo was a picture of a pineapple grenade. A pineapple grenade is special kind of explosive used to tear people's flesh off. It looked like this:

Talking to the people who frequented Something Awful gave Starman a sense of community, even though he didn't really know any of them. Something Awful's slogan was this:

Starman told his community that he was reading Kurt Vonnegut. He adored Kurt's books. Starman felt as though he could identify with the writer's blunt and sarcastic attitude. He felt a sort of kinship with Kurt, even though he didn't really know him. It gave Starman a sense of satisfaction to read his books. It made him look smarter, he thought. The books did make him smarter too. That wasn't why he was reading them though. It was so he would look as though he was smarter."

I like it and i like Vonnegut a lot and i like the idea of him writing cynical words about my everyday life so since he's dead good on you for taking matters into your own hands

# ¿ Oct 2, 2017 16:08

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 12:42

alnilam

canyoneer posted:

bad idea, space is a vacuum and dogs are always afraid of those

lol

# ¿ Oct 2, 2017 18:06

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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