Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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FactsAreUseless

Starshark posted:

So... What's supposed to happen on Steak and a Blow Job Day?

You suck off a cow.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2017 11:35

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 13:20

FactsAreUseless

And once your mom finishes, you can have steak.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2017 11:34

FactsAreUseless

deep dish peat moss posted:

Grass Dad a thread about a kid with a Grass-Type dad

This has potential and I think you should do it

# ¿ May 2, 2017 12:07

FactsAreUseless

Jedrick posted:

itt we systematically determine which BYOB poster is actually just Bruce Willis

Saint Isaias Boner

# ¿ Jul 17, 2017 20:07

FactsAreUseless

Splatmaster posted:

Battlebots but with sex toy attachments but everyone still has to maintain a high level of professionalism, regardless of how inane it gets (and it gets i n a n e)

Jamie from Mythbusters talking very seriously about how a 16-inch silicone fist with a World War 2 theme called the Bouncing Betty Bunker-Buster is the best item they could find for weight distribution.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2017 14:04

FactsAreUseless

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

I'm not high; I just have strong opinions about Robert Fripp.

Oh, you mean that guy who hung around Adrian Belew, an actual good guitarist?

# ¿ Aug 10, 2017 22:21

FactsAreUseless

Brian Eno, but he's black and has a giant afro, listening to Adrian Belew: Nice work, kid. You got some smoooooth licks. How about you jam down and I'll back you up on the sax?

Brian Eno, listening to Robert Fripp: No, no! I hate this! I hate it so much that it turned me British and white and now I want to make ambient music!

# ¿ Aug 10, 2017 23:08

FactsAreUseless

Jokes that are extremely 70s but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

# ¿ Aug 10, 2017 23:09

FactsAreUseless

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

I had no idea that people had so much to say about Robert Fripp. Also, Brian Eno is the musical equivalent of two retirees talking about the weather.

Someone hasn't heard his early stuff

# ¿ Aug 11, 2017 22:50

FactsAreUseless

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

On account of this thread I went and listened to Another Green World yesterday and I was like "Woops...I hope that slips under the radar."

Warm Jets, Tiger Mountain, Green World, and Before Science are all great albums

# ¿ Aug 12, 2017 04:24

FactsAreUseless

lmao

# ¿ Aug 13, 2017 16:22

FactsAreUseless

Starman Super DX posted:

Willy Wonka's Chocolate Phylactery

Still not as dark as Great Glass Elevator.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2017 11:43

FactsAreUseless

As a malapropist, I believe in a biconical cistern of covered mints.

# ¿ Sep 11, 2017 23:41

FactsAreUseless

Manifisto posted:

a toy story like movie in which the toys are awful - totally unsympathetic, they all have the worst character traits of humanity in terms of being snarky, deceitful, exploitative, lazy, gluttonous, opportunistic, passive aggressive, what have you. in the end they are all destroyed or thrown in the trash and the audience is relieved and happy they are gone.

This is just Sausage Party.

# ¿ Sep 22, 2017 02:05

FactsAreUseless

alnilam posted:

vaguely recalling the movie Stay Tuned

Oh man I forgot this movie. It's not great but it's kinda fun.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2017 22:11

FactsAreUseless

post the thread

# ¿ Nov 14, 2017 13:08

FactsAreUseless

The rest of the BK Kids Club beating "Wheels" into the gang.

# ¿ Jan 2, 2018 20:36

FactsAreUseless

Hazing rituals of the Keebler elves

# ¿ Jan 2, 2018 20:37

FactsAreUseless

A parrot that only repeats things you will say in the future

# ¿ Jan 4, 2018 21:58

FactsAreUseless

A man named Splench Gormbubble being named to the Supreme Court.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2018 15:33

FactsAreUseless

Third Circuit judge Splench Gormbubble walking into the Senate now. Observe his trademark style, still on display even here.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2018 15:34

FactsAreUseless

Ride The Gravitron posted:

You know those restaurants that treat you like poo poo as a gimmick? What about if other types of places did that.

No. What? I think you're just getting yelled at by wait staff.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2018 02:22

FactsAreUseless

Ride The Gravitron posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJpwF7Nc3dk

Why?

# ¿ Jan 9, 2018 18:18

FactsAreUseless

Anyone may use this picture for a thread:

# ¿ May 28, 2018 20:21

FactsAreUseless

[at the beginning of all creation] Orange you glad I didn't say 'I am?'

# ¿ Jun 16, 2018 20:17

FactsAreUseless

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose penis could be inconvenient

# ¿ Aug 24, 2018 20:00

FactsAreUseless

An epicure dining in Crewe
Found a rather large dick in his stew
Said the waiter "Don't shout!
Or wave it about!
Or the man from Nantucket will sue"

# ¿ Aug 24, 2018 21:03

FactsAreUseless

Dungeon Ecology posted:

honey came in and she caught me brown-handed
poopin with the girl next door
picture this we were both butt naked
poopin on the bathroom floor

lmfao I forgot this song

# ¿ Aug 25, 2018 03:26

FactsAreUseless

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

ohhh i like your version way better. I was just thinking of rebel art/counterculture deployed in situations where it doesn't really make sense.

Yacht club is way more authentic to country music.

# ¿ Aug 27, 2018 22:37

FactsAreUseless

At the doctor:

Knock knock

Who's there?

Orange

Orange who?

Orange you glad you don't have colon cancer?

# ¿ Sep 7, 2018 07:53

FactsAreUseless

lizard sounds like jizzfart is that something, is there something there?

# ¿ Sep 13, 2018 07:54

FactsAreUseless

Moon Atari posted:

Forrest Gump: writing a widely shared new york times article about how a girl named Jenny who he loved and thought was his friend took sexual advantage of him while she was at a low point, then fled unannounced and kept knowledge of the resulting child from him for years; depriving not only him of his child, but the child of a loving and much more financially secure father, and only relenting due to imminent death.

Forrest Gump: revealing that he blamed himself because he didn't see the warning signs when she had drunkenly accosted him years earlier, forcing him to touch her and deriding his sexual inexperience before kicking him out of her life for years.

Forrest Gump: sincerely asking the world for help in deciding whether Jenny's childhood sexual abuse is enough to forgive her for her actions entirely, or whether he can permit himself to feel anger at her for shunning him out of condescension towards his intellectual disability (even after he had proven himself far more capable and successful than her or the average person).

Forrest Gump: tearfully admitting that his lifelong friend Jenny is the only person that ever made him ashamed of his intellectual capability, but that he can't stop loving her.

Forrest Gump: seeing that the only societal consequence or personal reward for the pain of writing his article is getting to see people turn their online reaction to it into social currency.

Forrest Gump: wondering which wounds him more in the long run. The jokes and insults from the hater camp. Or the narcissistic appropriation of his life story by people who don't seem to truly understand it or care for him at all. Or the realization that the catharsis of sharing was not so significant as to allow him to move on. That there is no such thing as moving on.

This is more interesting than Forrest Gump, which is a terrible film

# ¿ Sep 14, 2018 20:27

FactsAreUseless

Hello Mudda
Hello Fadda
Here I am at
Guantanamo

# ¿ Sep 15, 2018 20:09

FactsAreUseless

got any sevens posted:

this question was responsible for ww1

No, that's when Jack White shot Franz Ferdinand

at the Sasquatch festival

# ¿ Oct 8, 2018 21:45

FactsAreUseless

Cubone posted:

David Attenborough but he keeps talking about how delicious all the animals probably are

This is just Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2018 23:23

FactsAreUseless

Judo Jetson

# ¿ Oct 15, 2018 00:06

FactsAreUseless

Twenty Four posted:

The "Gig Economy" grinds to a halt as it is replaced with the "Jig Economy", wherein dancing is considered legal tender.

This is just legalized sex work

# ¿ Oct 18, 2018 04:21

FactsAreUseless

Kontradaz posted:

2FA on:

somethingawful
home network
car
when you're dying and need to use medical resources but 2fa first
electric toothbrush

what

# ¿ Oct 18, 2018 04:58

FactsAreUseless

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

A mayonaise-based condiment for hotdogs called Wiener Sauce.

A Nickelodeon-style slime toy called Man Semen From The Prostate

# ¿ Oct 19, 2018 00:03

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 13:20

FactsAreUseless

ghost emoji posted:

i used to work at a place that used 2FA on everything from email to timesheets but it was all linked to the boss�s cell phone, so if he was in a meeting or taking a dump, you were screwed

What is 2FA

# ¿ Oct 19, 2018 00:21

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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