- calhoun
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Goodnight, atheists. I hope you don't go to heaven or hell. I hope you just die.
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Oct 21, 2022 18:38
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 11, 2024 05:34
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- calhoun
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I can only tolerate the most tolerant.
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Oct 21, 2022 19:31
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- calhoun
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Sorry, I only suck straight cock.
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Oct 28, 2022 20:43
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- calhoun
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pros of clowns dancing: pretty fun, pretty funny, lots of movement, lots of action, lots of stuff that can happen
pros of clowns not dancing: pretty funny, stable, pretty safe
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Dec 4, 2022 07:54
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- calhoun
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5th Fifth 5D GBS Fiesta Dog
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Jan 2, 2023 20:25
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- calhoun
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The Sense of Being Smelled At
Farting gives you bullet time to practice this
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Mar 15, 2023 19:25
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- calhoun
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I watched the best porn last night. Only problem was, none of the characters said when to masturbate.
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Mar 15, 2023 20:17
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- calhoun
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"now's a good time"
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Mar 15, 2023 20:26
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- calhoun
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Late 30-something couple standing outside their suburban house: "after living in the city for so long, we really felt we needed to move out to a quieter neighborhood to..." (the rest is lost as the deafening roar of a gas powered leaf blower starts up)
"...blow leaves in."
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Apr 2, 2023 08:10
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- calhoun
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Terry Schiavo4lyfe
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May 7, 2023 16:05
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- calhoun
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Karl Pilkington (born 23 September 1972) is an English presenter, comedian, actor, voice-artist, producer and author.
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May 7, 2023 17:10
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- calhoun
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Ok I met Buddha on the road what do I do
You didn't try to kill him, did you? Go to timeout. I don't want you to talk to anybody, see anybody... I don't want you to even THINK of anybody. Just sit still and be quiet.
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Because you wanted to kill the Buddha! That's why!
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Oh you think you're so bad, don't you? Well your brother Lucifer also thought he was hot stuff until I sent him to that school. You want to go to that school? I didn't think so, mister.
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May 7, 2023 20:09
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- calhoun
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A stupid guy writing
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May 9, 2023 14:26
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- calhoun
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Jesus Christ Superstation
Dying on a box for our guilty pleasure
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May 11, 2023 20:30
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- calhoun
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Meeting the Platonic rear end in a top hat that is the template of all assholes. And then declaring "Christ, what an rear end in a top hat."
he's like the Norm rear end in a top hat. an rear end in a top hat's rear end in a top hat. very misunderstood
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May 16, 2023 20:01
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- calhoun
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...
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May 21, 2023 20:41
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- calhoun
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i like to eat brand-new crackers. after taste testing and before public feedback. thats when they taste the best to me....
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Jun 6, 2023 14:59
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- calhoun
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here is how you can have 1 and 2 of something. you need 1 thing to know you have a second. it doesn't realky count: you need it to know you have 2. once you have 3 of something, then you have 3. if there is only 1 of something, you don't know it.
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Jun 15, 2023 19:47
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- calhoun
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the sequel to it follows the book
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Jun 22, 2023 15:47
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- calhoun
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"I'm flipping the script on you jokers" he said turning the table over and pouring documents onto the floor. The Judge was not impressed.
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Nov 17, 2023 15:50
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- calhoun
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Where else but America could a TOTAL CLOWN become pres- *gets pied*
Mr. President, are you the scary clown that eats people? You promised you'd tell us if we elected you.
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Dec 4, 2023 16:55
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- calhoun
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it was an interesting interview. and the guy interviewing him was an alien
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Jan 8, 2024 15:57
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- calhoun
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"you know, calhoun, if you have a child at your age, he'll likely be autistic"
"good, then he doesn't have to get vaccinated"
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Jan 16, 2024 15:37
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- calhoun
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"i don't have imposter syndrome,... i AM the imposter!"
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Feb 2, 2024 22:35
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- calhoun
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:ancient greek onlookers/admirers of an early philosophy discussion:
whoa... did you hear what that guy thought?
i wonder what he's thinking...
i wonder what HE'S thinking... that guy over THERE
yeah...
well i wonder what they're BOTH going to think NEXT at the SAME TIME and i ALSO wonder if it's going to BE the same.
oh...
drat dude...
drat.....
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Mar 28, 2024 21:50
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- calhoun
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...
calhoun fucked around with this message at 23:50 on Apr 10, 2024
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Apr 7, 2024 11:01
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- calhoun
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calhoun fucked around with this message at 23:49 on Apr 10, 2024
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Apr 8, 2024 19:44
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- calhoun
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calhoun fucked around with this message at 23:48 on Apr 10, 2024
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Apr 9, 2024 13:41
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- calhoun
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calhoun fucked around with this message at 23:47 on Apr 10, 2024
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Apr 9, 2024 14:54
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- calhoun
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calhoun fucked around with this message at 23:47 on Apr 10, 2024
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Apr 9, 2024 15:15
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- calhoun
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calhoun fucked around with this message at 23:48 on Apr 10, 2024
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Apr 9, 2024 18:20
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- calhoun
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calhoun fucked around with this message at 23:48 on Apr 10, 2024
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Apr 10, 2024 13:52
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- calhoun
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calhoun fucked around with this message at 23:48 on Apr 10, 2024
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Apr 10, 2024 13:55
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- calhoun
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calhoun fucked around with this message at 23:48 on Apr 10, 2024
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Apr 10, 2024 19:23
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 11, 2024 05:34
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- calhoun
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ugh. there was a ufo parked in my space.
but then i checked the plate!
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Apr 12, 2024 16:20
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Oct 21, 2022 18:38
