- google THIS
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Song of the South live action remake anticipation station.
Wondering what kind of racially neutral building material the new and modernized, diversity-conscious yet still evil, Bre'r Fox will use to construct a dummy to trap Bre'r Rabbit, and how uncomfortably realistically he and the rest of the animal characters will be rendered.
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Aug 9, 2019 23:48
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 11, 2024 05:38
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- google THIS
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Nursery Crimes
"Please show us on the doll where the old man played 'knick-knack.'"
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Aug 15, 2019 00:39
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- google THIS
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i detect.... *rolls pizza around in mouth* ... a hint of pepperoni
(swirling liquid in glass) Hmm, I'm getting notes of concord.. (takes a long, overly noisy sniff) ...from concentrate. (takes a tiny sip, sucks air through teeth and smacks lips) 10% juice. (spits into bucket) With other natural flavors.
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Aug 17, 2019 02:55
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- google THIS
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"The...cool S?," Alex says, a look of confusion fluttering across his face.
This is it. The moment you have been waiting for your entire life. You whip the pad of paper and pen you always carry in your back pocket, wordlessly you draw three vertical lines at the top of the page, then three more below them. You show this to Alex. Inwardly you smile. You are about to absolutely rock his, and a portion of the daytime television viewing audience's world.
Alex: That's great and all but you know this is Jeopardy, right?
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Aug 20, 2019 14:40
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- google THIS
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okay stay with me, making a function called updog that's got a labyrinth of references that snake thru multiple files until it actually calls the performative code and then just using that function everywhere in your open source collab
Nothin', what's updog's callstack with you?
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Aug 20, 2019 22:31
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- google THIS
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the joke is anime poses in yoga class i think.... hmmmm....
"And now we'll transition right into 'Taking a Knee With Fist on Ground.'"
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Aug 24, 2019 19:22
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- google THIS
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(craft beer snob tearily loading a shotgun) We're going to have to put him down. He's tasted Bud.
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Aug 27, 2019 14:37
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- google THIS
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other rooms in willy wonka's factory that arent on the tour
We've done it, which is not to say that a redo wouldn't be good.
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3869118
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Aug 27, 2019 18:25
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- google THIS
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The Men in Black, in the early days before they acquire neuralyzer technology, are forced to resort to "big brother" tactics to keep things under wraps.
"Look it's ok, it's ok, you're fine. I stopped the alien from eating you, ok? Please don't tell the police or the press. I'll let you have all my desserts for a month."
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Sep 3, 2019 03:11
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- google THIS
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Brobdingnagian alien: (repeatedly slamming a Saturn V rocket into the ground) Stop invading yourself! Why are you invading yourself?
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Sep 4, 2019 01:53
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- google THIS
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Still having to manually rev up your car's motor every morning.
Every device handcranked, gotta set aside 30 minutes to hand crank your phone in the morning.
Literally every device - toilet flush has to be cranked for 30 seconds. Open the door? gotta crank 5 seconds. Want to have light in your apartment? Gotta crank about 2 minutes per each light.
A dystopian future where everyone has one really beefy arm.
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Sep 8, 2019 15:35
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- google THIS
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The matrix but everyone is in those high-viz orange safety jackets
Instead of doing that little "come on" motion when starting a fight Neo turns his sign from STOP to SLOW.
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Sep 12, 2019 01:09
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- google THIS
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The freeway scene, exactly the same except they're not being chased or shot at and there are a lot more orange barrels.
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Sep 12, 2019 03:34
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- google THIS
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A spokesperson has to improvise a commercial for a common product that, for some obscure reason, they never heard of until a few minutes ago.
(chair commercial) Have you ever thought to yourself, "If only I had some place to store my butt while I'm eating?"
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Sep 23, 2019 19:14
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- google THIS
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No sir, I don't think your logic holds true. It is perfectly possible for someone who did not "deal" it to smell it. In fact, if anything they are more likely to call it out, because they may smell it more strongly and they would not be feeling the embarrassment of...wait, where are you going? Ok, fine, that one was me.
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Oct 4, 2019 03:09
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- google THIS
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Winning a shootout not because I was quicker on the draw but because my gun got stuck and I fell over in panic and my opponent's bullet went over me. Fastest spaz in the West.
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Oct 4, 2019 04:12
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- google THIS
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Instead of a human narrating a dog character's inner thoughts you have a dog narrating a human character's thoughts. So you have a hard-boiled detective working a case and every so often the dialog pauses and there's a montage or a closeup of the protagonist's face, and all you can hear is a dog yapping.
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Oct 10, 2019 03:22
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- google THIS
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MASTER WANT A WOMAN
SHE SMELL
OF MEN
MASTER HUNT KILLER
MASTER FIND KILLER
MASTER KILL KILLER
MASTER GOOD
MASTER STRONG
This is the next logical step, having a human narrate a dog narrating a human. But the world is not yet ready.
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Oct 10, 2019 14:22
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- google THIS
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If you were a giant you'd be home by now.
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Oct 12, 2019 12:27
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- google THIS
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Et tu, bootay?
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Oct 12, 2019 16:26
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- google THIS
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I shot the serif
(But I did not shoot the double-story)
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Oct 14, 2019 19:03
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- google THIS
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You take the blue pill, the story ends, your tongue turns blue. You take the red pill, your tongue turns red, and it's kind of hard to tell.
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Oct 18, 2019 02:58
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- google THIS
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A guy whose name is actually Shithead, poo poo + head, getting tired of everyone tiptoeing around assuming his name is ethnic and carefully asking for the pronunciation before trying to say it out loud.
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Oct 18, 2019 19:47
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- google THIS
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Doctor: I ahm le sorry, sir, but ze tests came back, and you have le cahncer. It ees, how you say, stage 4.
Me: (giggling) So I have cancer of the penis?
Doctor: Oui, oui!
Me: (tears of laughter streaming down my face) Ahahahaha, oh, sorry! I'll...I'll try to watch my language! XD
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Oct 23, 2019 19:10
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- google THIS
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What is the deal with GrapeNuts? Why was it the only cereal my dad kept in the house, claiming that anything else was "too expensive," even though he kept a cabinet full of scotch and went golfing every weekend and was constantly buying jewelry for his secretary?
And what's the deal with airline food? Do you think it makes a good last meal, and as you go down, realizing this is your last business trip, do you regret the love you never gave to your wife and child, or do you just lament that you'll never get the chance to sleep with Charlene again?
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Oct 26, 2019 18:09
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- google THIS
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A reality show where a toilet shop restores and mods vintage toilets.
"Now, because Bill is a sci fi fan, we're going for a Star Trek: TOS theme. Jimmy is almost finished with the Enterprise disc lid, and we've nearly got the warp engines installed and a voice activated flush, while still showcasing all this beautiful 60's porcelain. We're almost ready to set phasers on 'fun,' heh heh. By the time we're done, Bill will be eating sugar free gummy bears by the pound just for the privilege of using this bad boy."
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Oct 29, 2019 14:24
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- google THIS
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A prank show where Bear Grylls tricks you into drinking your own pee to survive and then it turns out you're not even in the woods it's just the zoo
The hell? Bear Grylls isn't even here, I'm just lying on the ground between the bear and gorilla enclosures. What was I on? *sips piss thoughtfully*
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Nov 6, 2019 00:33
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- google THIS
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like he doesn't even list a reason, just the person's name and that's it?
Just an ambiguous hashtag
Billy Thornton
#NaughtyList #ThatsNotHowYouUseARake
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Nov 8, 2019 15:05
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- google THIS
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#IDontKnowAboutTheRestOfAnimeButWhatYouWereWatchingDefinitelyWasntArt
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Nov 8, 2019 16:26
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- google THIS
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"I'd love to get a plate of her milk and cookies."
But, like, said in a funny suggestive voice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OEFLpVgTTo
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Nov 12, 2019 05:17
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- google THIS
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trying to discredit someones argument because they "have been known to poop in their pants" i.e. they were once a baby
That's an ad gaa-gaaminem
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Nov 12, 2019 13:25
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- google THIS
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Logical fallacies for children might be fun.
Baby #1: MOMMMMYYYYYYY!!!
Baby #2: *tsk* Appeal to authority.
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Nov 12, 2019 14:58
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- google THIS
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Kid 1: This hill is way too steep. If we start sledding down it we'll end up going way too fast and crash into a tree.
Kid 2: Do I need to say it?
google THIS fucked around with this message at 15:05 on Nov 12, 2019
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Nov 12, 2019 15:00
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- google THIS
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My donkey ran away and now I'm an assless chap.
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Nov 13, 2019 16:19
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- google THIS
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Charm Person, Sincerely and Consensually
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Nov 14, 2019 19:31
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- google THIS
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A rule that's like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, but for how close everything is to a sex thing.
That's a jackhammer, somebody probably once tried to gently caress a jackhammer.
That's a pigeon, somebody probably once tried to gently caress a pigeon, come on, give me a tough one.
A vagina. Ok, uhhh, give me a second. Ok, so, a vagina looks a little like a hot dog bun, right? And what do you put in a hot dog bun? Hot dogs, and what do dogs do? They bark, and where do you find bark? On a tree, and what sometimes grows around trees? Poison ivy, and somebody probably once tried to gently caress poison ivy.
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Nov 16, 2019 02:24
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- google THIS
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Render unto Caesar that which is Little Caesar's
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Nov 18, 2019 14:56
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- google THIS
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When the Pharisees saw this, they said to His disciples, "Why is your Teacher eating with those who order pineapple on their pizza?"
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Nov 18, 2019 17:48
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 11, 2024 05:38
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- google THIS
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Oh no I would never install antivirus software on my child's gaming rig, it causes autism.
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Nov 22, 2019 19:27
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Aug 9, 2019 23:48
