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Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



I think the Bears made like three bad choices at QB over the last month, but if Trubisky works out, then it's fine, I just think it's not very likely he works out.

Like, fine, I get moving on from Cutler, and giving Glennon the upfront contract because it's short term and you can move away from it if Glennon sucks in a year. But now if Glennon's great next year... do you get rid of that? Do you dump Trubisky? If he's good do you?

But then trading 3 picks to move up one spot to draft another QB is insane, because why wouldn't you just keep Cutler in that case? He can eat poo poo and boos all day until Trubisky is ready, and it's not like Glennon's going to help the new guy at all either.

And if you're going QB, why spend $18m on Glennon instead of franchising/signing Alshon Jefferies so your new guy has someone who owns to throw to?

Also if the John Fox stuff is true then the most likely scenario is the Bears are pretty bad next year, he gets fired and then you hire a new coach who gets to inherit a 2nd year QB he likely won't be very invested in?

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Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

I remember reading a stat where a 1st round QB had a 50/50 chance of being a good player

2nd round on was like 10%

From the late 80's until like 2010 it was obscenely low, but since then it's been 50/50.

2-36 Derek Carr
2-35 Andy Dalton
2-36 Colin Kaepernick
2-62 Jimmy Garoppolo (?)
and you can toss in Teddy Bridgewater since he was 1-32, and you should probably count everyone after like the 20th pick as roughly this quality...

Misses:

2-51 Christian Hackenberg
2-39 Geno Smith
2-57 Brock Osweiler
Using the above criteria, you get to add the Browns duo as misses, to pair with the Jets whiffs.

Compared to 1st rounders:

Hits:
1-2 Carson Wentz (maybe, Eagles fans sure are defensive about him)
1-1 Jameis Winston (probably)
1-2 Marcus Mariota (probably)
1-32 Teddy Bridgewater
1-1 Andrew Luck
1-8 Ryan Tannehill
1-1 Cam Newton

Misses:
1-1 Jared Goff (probably)
1-3 Blake Bortles (probably)
1-16 EJ Manuel
1-22 Manziel
1-2 RG3
1-22 Brandon Weeden
1-8 Jake Locker
1-10 Blaine Gabbert
1-12 Christian Ponder

So even if we drop the guys from above and split all the who knows(?) we're still looking at a worse hit rate due to... what honestly feels like desperation reaches by teams.

Kalli fucked around with this message at 03:39 on May 2, 2017

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



SKULL.GIF posted:

The Bears drafted this guy:

So that explains Glennon + Trubisky.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



GonadTheBallbarian posted:

Torry Holt, Patriots

Reggie Wayne, Patriot.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Nodoze posted:

Chad Ochocinco, Patriot

Fred Taylor, Patriot.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



This isn't the first drive Oher's ended poorly.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



NFL Top 100 has been going on apparently and 70-80 is on now:

71. Julian Edelman WR Patriots
72. Taylor Lewan T Titans
73. Philip Rivers QB Chargers
74. Harrison Smith S Vikings
75. Delanie Walker TE Titans
76. Justin Houston LB Chiefs
77. Ha Ha Clinton-Dix S Packers
78. Brian Orakpo LB Titans
79. Sean Lee LB Cowboys
80. LeGarrette Blount RB Patriots

81 Alex Smith QB Chiefs 81
82 Clay Matthews LB Packers 57
83 Calais Campbell DE Jaguars 71
84 Mike Daniels DT Packers 95
85 Chandler Jones LB Cardinals 48
86 Jurrell Casey DT Titans --
87 Travis Frederick C Cowboys --
88 Doug Baldwin WR Seahawks 72
89 Thomas Davis LB Panthers 54
90 Malcolm Jenkins S Eagles --

91 Lorenzo Alexander LB Bills --
92 Everson Griffen DE Vikings --
93 Brandon Graham DE Eagles --
94 Dont'a Hightower LB Patriots --
95 Kelechi Osemele G Raiders --
96 Damon Harrison DT Giants --
97 David DeCastro G Steelers --
98 Adrian Peterson RB Saints 5
99 Malcolm Butler CB Patriots --
100 Joey Bosa DE Chargers NA

Kalli fucked around with this message at 03:06 on May 9, 2017

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Added the rest:

71. Julian Edelman WR Patriots
72. Taylor Lewan T Titans
73. Philip Rivers QB Chargers
74. Harrison Smith S Vikings
75. Delanie Walker TE Titans
76. Justin Houston LB Chiefs

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Chilichimp posted:

I would buy so many season tickets

Imagine the bud light of weed .

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Technically football related.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



HoF put up two lists of their best photos of the season, action and feature:





http://www.profootballhof.com/photos/gallery/best-feature-shots-of-2016/
http://www.profootballhof.com/photos/gallery/best-action-shots-of-2016/

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



FizFashizzle posted:

God that should have ended the game.

It really should have. I still can't believe what the Falcons did after that.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Aaron Hernandez now officially innocent

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Crunkjuice posted:

So do the Patriots owe his estate any contract money now?

Almost certainly not. He violated his contract a whole bunch of different ways when he was cut.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



MY NIGGA D-LINK posted:

Must be bittersweet since he now will cost you cap space that you're not using anyway

That was rumored by... I presume PFT, but it's almost certainly not true. Here's three minutes of lawyer talk about it:

https://www.si.com/nfl/video/2017/04/21/aaron-hernandez-patriots-money-suicide

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



sean10mm posted:

There is no cool teams football community. There are only scrappy losers too non-threatening to hate, and winners who are feared and viciously hated by everyone else.

If the Falcons keep torching the NFC for a few more years everyone will hate them no matter how many 360 noscope spinkick headshot catches Julio makes.

Though if the Pats turn into instant trash in 2017 I expect the "we still hate you" hangover for the Patriots to last until like... 2057 or so.

Even if the Pats disintegrate next year it's a safe assumption that Brady, Gronk and Belichick will be around in the public eye to various levels, while other guys are likely to worm their way into media like Edelman and people still loving hate the Cowboys, and Patriots fans, while way less numerous can definitely pull off as annoying as a mid 90's Cowboys fan.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



TheChirurgeon posted:

Cardinals, definitely.

Also maybe the Bengals? It seems like they get a little worse each year

The Bengals oline is in rough shape which is kind of shocking really considering they had great tackles like two years ago and drafted replacements for them, but that all fell apart.

The Cardinals also are trying to truck along, but yeah, unless Palmer finds the fountain of HGH, I'm not thrilled with their chances.

I think most of the good teams are actually still in pretty good shape though. Last year, that was the: Patriots, Steelers, Chiefs, Raiders, Falcons, Seahawks, Packers, Cowboys, Giants and Dolphins

Of those, the Patriots, Steelers, Chiefs, Seahawks and Packers are basically veteran squads with good franchise QB's and coaches without huge weaknesses that are probably all going to be playoff teams again barring a significant number of injuries.

The Falcons have a question mark because of the coaching losses. Their defense was terrible last year, but they added a bunch there. Then again, the offense was so good that it could regress significantly, and if the defense plays even moderately better, they could be very good next year.

Raiders and Cowboys have top notch olines, mediocre defenses and young promising quarterbacks on good offenses. It's easy to see them winning a dozen games next year, or having two injuries in the secondary and missing the playoffs.

Giants have oline problems and possibly the worst QB of the teams listed, but have a defense that could rumble. They seem like a better version of the Ravens to me.

The Dolphins look pretty good honestly. They've got issues, and aren't really outstanding anywhere, but they feel like a wildcard team next year.

Looking at the teams most likely to regress and it's probably the Texans. The AFC South still has a lot of questions, but they went 9-7 last year, but went 8-3 in one score games.... They get JJ back this year, and probably upgrade from godawful to bad at quarterback this year, but does that keep them above the Titans? Andrew Luck randomly winning a half dozen games by himself?

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Aaron Rodgers is a dumb tool, but lol if you don't think the Packers will hit 10+ wins regardless of what happens next year.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Grittybeard posted:

I can buy the ceiling being fairly high, but I think their floor is something like 4-12.

I don't expect them to be that bad by any means, but I can see it happening if everything goes wrong.

Yeah, by Adjusted Games Lost, the Chargers are 31st, 26th, 31st and 28th over the last 4 years. Is it continued bad luck? a penchant for drafting / signing riskier players? poor strength and conditioning coaches? Who knows, but it's more of a trend then pure regression expecting them to be healthier this year.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Hoyer is going to get the 49ers enough wins to have one more then the Jets.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



sean10mm posted:

The whole idea that getting angry because an adult isn't engaging in enough servile bowing and scraping to a symbol of state power makes you a "Real American" is such an obvious case of missing the entire loving point of everything that I can't even.

What would the <Hank Hill voice> founding fathers say?

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



I don't know, I'm sure any EMT / ER worker is really familiar with it.

Most other people, probably not so much.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



SHOAH NUFF posted:

If both parties agree to a fistfight is the ensuing beat down legal?

To an extent, yeah.

Weren't there some MMA weidoes going around in Seattle for a few years doing just that? Phoenix Jones and his friends would dress up like batman and challenge roudy drunk assholes to fights if they were bothering people.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



The Jets are Out of this World except the alien who can stop time is someone who really hates the Jets and uses it to sabotage them constantly.

The Bears are that episode Punky Brewster where Cherie gets stuck in the fridge

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001




I thought this was going to be about Jim Kiick, who also just had a (much shorter) story come out about how hosed he is now:

http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/nfl/miami-dolphins/article149685489.html

quote:

“He just acts like a kid, in every way now — not taking care of himself,” Allie Kiick told SI. “We tell him what to do and he listens, but he was pooping his pants, all that stuff. So I — literally — mean that he had turned into a kid.”

...

Kiick began experiencing CTE symptoms earlier this decade. An MRI revealed significant brain trauma. Unlike most players with microscopic brain damage, Kiick has huge bruises.
“He has holes in his brain,” said Dr. David B. Ross, medical director of the Comprehensive Neurobehavioral Institute in Plantation. “Earlier in his career he had enough impact that he had bruises on his brain that left scars and holes. So there’s no question that he suffered significant brain trauma. This is more than Alzheimer’s. This is more than frontal-lobe dementia, Parkinson’s dementia. This is more than infection. He had brain trauma, and that’s unequivocal.”

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



.... on the other hand, Madden cover!

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



What year did Madden have QB vision cones? Because I remember that was hilarious because everyone's was this tiny thing and even back then Brady's was just a gigantic half pie covering the screen.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



M-m-m-mama mia!

https://twitter.com/WhitlockJason/status/863047175793631233

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Sour Diesel posted:

The joke from the Really Funny Picture is Athanatos doing that thing where people use a funny voice to repeat what someone said in a mocking manner. RG3 tried to evade a probation with a Super Secret account and was slain by Athanatos and BT thought it was cool and funny so he posted that pic, but Athanatos was not amused. I forgive him.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



MrLogan posted:

Ben's rating for the playoffs is 84, which is higher than I expected. I didn't realize he had some very good games early in his career, albeit only throwing the ball 20 times. I guess the last six years of him only being able to win games due to controversial reffing and/or the other team limping into the playoffs injured soured me on him in the playoffs.

I wish he was able to beat the Pats once in a while.

Unless Roethlisberger is the guy making their secondary play zone, then he isn't why they can never beat the Patriots.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EH2PDgz4gso

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Kalli posted:

NFL Top 100 has been going on apparently and 70-80 is on now:

71 Julian Edelman WR Patriots 87
72 Taylor Lewan T Titans --
73 Philip Rivers QB Chargers 46
74 Harrison Smith S Vikings 73
75 Delanie Walker TE Titans 82
76 Justin Houston LB Chiefs 26
77 Ha Ha Clinton-Dix S Packers --
78 Brian Orakpo LB Titans --
79 Sean Lee LB Cowboys --
80 LeGarrette Blount RB Patriots --

81 Alex Smith QB Chiefs 81
82 Clay Matthews LB Packers 57
83 Calais Campbell DE Jaguars 71
84 Mike Daniels DT Packers 95
85 Chandler Jones LB Cardinals 48
86 Jurrell Casey DT Titans --
87 Travis Frederick C Cowboys --
88 Doug Baldwin WR Seahawks 72
89 Thomas Davis LB Panthers 54
90 Malcolm Jenkins S Eagles --

91 Lorenzo Alexander LB Bills --
92 Everson Griffen DE Vikings --
93 Brandon Graham DE Eagles --
94 Dont'a Hightower LB Patriots --
95 Kelechi Osemele G Raiders --
96 Damon Harrison DT Giants --
97 David DeCastro G Steelers --
98 Adrian Peterson RB Saints 5
99 Malcolm Butler CB Patriots --
100 Joey Bosa DE Chargers NA

61 T.Y. Hilton WR Colts --
62 Cameron Wake DE Dolphins --
63 Chris Harris Jr. CB Broncos 52
64 Casey Hayward CB Chargers --
65 Jordan Reed TE Redskins 77
66 Xavier Rhodes CB Vikings --
67 Greg Olsen TE Panthers 38
68 Geno Atkins DT Bengals 29
69 Jay Ajayi RB Dolphins nice
70 Kirk Cousins QB Redskins 85

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Eli Wiggum posted:

That's one hell of a drop for Rivers between 2015 and 2016

I think it makes sense. Like, both years the Chargers offense has been hella injured, but still, he went from:

66% 4800 yards, 29 TD, 13 ints
to
60.5% 4400 yards, 33 TD, 21 ints

and over the 2nd half of last season he faded pretty badly (in large part due to injuries, but hey).

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



I think the problem with drafting Fornette for the Jaguars is that since MJD left, they've thrown a lot of resources at RB, with bad results. In 2014 they signed Toby Gerhart to a decently large contract but he got outperformed by a mediocre 5th round pick, so then they drafted TJ Yeldon in the 2nd round in 2015, who was okay, but not enough, so then they gave a ton of money to Chris Ivory last year.... who sucked and then Yeldon was bad too..

So, either they're not so great at finding RB talent (uh oh) or not so great at working it into their offense (double uh oh). The real problem is the offensive line / passing game issues, but I don't think there were really options in the draft there, and probably not great trade down options. I don't know what they should've done, but I can see why a Jaguars fan would be hesitant about a RB there.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Vollmer's had a history of back and shoulder injuries and got injured in training camp last year, so he probably decided to hang it up pretty early.

If you're that huge and need to schedule a surgery where you plan to lose the weight afterwards anyway. Do you like, lose some of the weight first or have the surgery first or what? that seems nuts.

FizFashizzle posted:

During lance Armstrongs heyday a lot of the cyclists had to wake up every night at like 1 am and get on a stationary bike to keep from dying lol

Oh god, the stories of those guys waking up and wondering why the hell their hearts were beating like they were running a marathon in the dead of night.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Hmm, who do you think have the 10 worst rosters?

I'd say above anything else these 4 are undeniable: Jets, 49ers, Browns, Bears. They might not be your top 4, but if they aren't in your top 10, you're wrong

Then by record it would be:

Jaguars, Rams, Chargers, Panthers, Bengals then a big jumble of Eagles, Bills, Saints, Cardinals, Colts, Ravens, Vikings and Washington.

I think the Jaguars and Rams are easy includes just because their QB and offensive situations are just awful, but both could have quite good defenses this year . Then it gets pretty tough. The Ravens and (lesser extent) Eagles also have dire offensive casts, but quite solid defensive units. While the Saints and lesser extent Colts have excellent quarterbacks, and horrifying defenses. The Vikings and Panthers traded horrific offensive line problems, but have a lot of talent, while the Bengals, Washington and the Bills all fall in that nebulous "Not objectively terrible anywhere, but not exactly wowing you".

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Eagles are hitting that Blount.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

Just get rid of OT in the regular season already.

With how conservative NFL coaches are? Madness.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



DariusLikewise posted:

I don't understand why the NFL won't do IR like any other league ever and just make it a place to move players on and off the roster.

Because IR gives you roster exemptions.

If you don't change that, then it becomes a place to stash players you don't want to lose the rights to.

If you do change that, then the random teams that end up with 24 people on IR like the Chargers last year end up releasing a ton of players because they can't field a team otherwise.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Big Vince is a national treasure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6Vvy9w70ao

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Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



boiled ribs?!?!?

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