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Will Jon Jones ever fight in the UFC again?
This poll is closed.
Yes 59 56.73%
No 45 43.27%
Total: 104 votes
[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

 
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I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Unfunny Poster posted:

LMAO what? Which event was that?

UFC Fight Night 69

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I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

LobsterMobster posted:

In case anyone cares (y'all don't), but here's how old each division is, on average, based on the champ +top 15 ranking setup UFC offers:

Middleweight - 34.375
Heavyweight - 34.125
Light Heavyweight - 32.9375
Welterweight - 32.3125
Women's bantamweight - 31.1875
Lightweight - 30.4375
Bantamweight - 30.375
Featherweight - 29.25
Strawweight - 28.625
Flyweight - 28.4375

Strawweight and flywweight both have 4 fighters that are 25 or younger. The remaining 8 divisions have 7 fighters 25 or younger combined. Straw and fly have 0 people older than 35 (Straw has 34-year old Jessica Aguilar and fly has 33 year old John Moraga). Not only does every other division have people 35+, there are 32, which is enough to fill 2 divisions with Olds.

Despite Dan Hendo's desiccated husk not dragging middleweight down, it's still old as gently caress. There are 3 guys 40 or older (Yoel, Anderson, Vitor) and just 3 30 or under (Bobby Knux, Krzy Jotko and Smile'N Sam).

Heavyweight has 1 dude past 40, the beloved Mark Hunt. and 3 guys 30 or younger - Francis Ngannou, Alex Volkov and Stefan Struve.

Light heavyweight benefits from fictional characters that were invented in the past 3 - 5 years, but Lil Nog, Cormier, Glover, Manuwa, Durkin Donuts and the concept of Shogun's Knees are really dragging the division down into a bog of decrepitude

doesnt surprise me since the higher weight classes suit older people. yoel is amazing though ... ive never seen anyone like him

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Lid posted:

Barry Bonds?

I dont really follow Golf all that closely

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

vainman posted:

I think Cowboy has tremendous heart to keep putting his liver out there to be killed

I think .... the liver and the heart ... they arent related. theyre too different

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Work Friend Keven posted:

I mean if you get general enough, sure, they're I guess both organs in the body that you need to live with average standup. But the heart pumps blood throughout the body and mostly sets it's wrestling up with quick, lunging hooks; whereas the liver processes toxins and usually fades hard in the fourth round.

Fine ... i concede defeat. yes it is true that the liver and the heart are actually literally the same organ even if there are some minor stylistic differences in how they function

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011
Thats why it was cut from the UFC and now has to fight for Pancreas

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Unfunny Poster posted:

I know a lot of mush mouth people who live in PA so it's more so a "low income area" thing.

If only they had the financial means to afford elocution lessons like the rest of us .. is society to blame ?

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

henkman posted:

Why would you microwave wine

what else can they do .. they cant afford to do anything else with it

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Kekekela posted:

Why would you put red wine in the fridge even if you didn't finish the bottle?

So you can microwave it later

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011
As does Tag and Blind Man's Bluff

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Fartbox posted:

Training your neck is cool but I'm pretty sure when a dude rattles your brain around like that your sick traps wont matter bro

u mirin?

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Dogbrisket posted:

LOL loving shameless product placement 45 seconds in.

wait til you get a load of this: the stuff written all over the octagon is advertising products

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Gay Horney posted:

he's kind of right. For a lot of styles and a lot of fighters you need to be really relatively safe to throw a jab. The jab in MMA makes you vulnerable to an overhand right or cross unless you throw it perfectly. Perfectly doesn't just mean keeping your elbow tight and your knees bent it also means you have to know the distance exactly. In other words you have to set up the jab while being aware of your wrestling opportunities, his wrestling opportunities, the feet, etc. There's a loving lot of work and a lot of just circumstantial poo poo that has to come together before you can throw a truly safe jab. Many fighters would rather set up a bigger strike.

With all that being said if you make a stinging jab a part of your game plan it can definitely work for you--Rory Mac, Gustaffson, Masvidal, Joanna and Makdessi all come to mind as guys who have nasty jabs that can gently caress up your whole poo poo but that's a function of their body types and fighting styles. They're never out of position to either throw that jab or move their weight around and come in with another strike. In MMA the jab is more a feature of certain fighters skillsets and movement patterns rather than something everyone should try to force.

U should get a job as like one of those supporting anime characters who stands on a nearby rock and narrates all of Gokus fights in dbz

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011
Im going to get conor mcgregor to start using offensive BJJ more by posting in depth analysis on the comments section of all of his youtube highlight reel videos

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

cis autodrag posted:

wait, do you actually get another copy of the belt for every successful defense? imagine the grim future where ufc champions are hunted by professional assassins to harvest what precious little gold remains to make electronics with.

Theyre not really made of gold

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Skip My Posts posted:

whats a biological passport?

i have one :-] basically you go in and do blood tests and they cross reference them with any doping controls you undertake to check for abnormalities. its about as strict as testing gets but its still not perfect. still im a big fan of it. i have to respect the ufc for doing it

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011
i imagine anyone having to fight him will get tired just as fast as he does

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Captain Log posted:

Why is loving Keven the only dude here who really seems to get why a biological passport is a supremely hosed up concept?

its fine. they have your bloods on record but so what .. its not like you dont need to clear a medical to compete anyway. there are way more ethical concerns with letting athletes get away with taking untested poo poo and beating up other people while on that poo poo.

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011
its no good for anyone involved if someone gets wrongly sanctioned so youll hardly ever see it happen. even in cases where the athlete was probably on something it can end in disaster for the doping agency and the promotion if it cant be proven beyond doubt, cyclist roberto heras was recently awarded the equivalent of $1 million for successfully appealing an EPO sanction, despite testing positive for EPO

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011
you only get a fine for showing up late anyway .. its not exactly dramatic. and i think the champ gets an extra few hours in an emergency anyway

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

willie_dee posted:

Isn't that because of false positives? One of the reason cycling was so obviously doped to the gills was that every single test ever was coming up negative, if the tests were legitimate and no one was doping, you would randomly get a false positive and have to retest the sample. That's got nothing to do with the biological passport which, for instance, says your testosterone has been between 600-2100, a bit above normal human range but with enough scope to be realistic your whole life, and if you suddenly start hitting 10000, something fucky is going on, even if you don't test positive for Test roids blood sample wise.

They have to do this because there is a Testosterone that you literally can't catch in someone's blood if you don't test them whilst they are using it that very second and can be flushed very easily out of the system.

the case i mentioned was ruled as a false positive but only because it was deemed that the samples werent handled properly, which opens up the possibility of them being contaminated either accidentally or intentionally. even though its 100000 times more likely that he just took EPO and tested positive for it. so its in the interests of the athletes and the doping bodies to handle samples and testing properly and the biological passport is a big step towards that

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Skip My Posts posted:

from what i've seen personally long term steroid use can have pretty rough effects on guys health. a couple guys on my wrestling team in college that were abusing steroids went on to have severe heart issues or other weird poo poo. i don't really know poo poo about it tho so maybe there were a lot of other factors like how they were cycling or maybe they were taking bull steroids or something

some pro cyclists from the 70s and 80s died from cancer which was found to be a probable result of epo abuse, and there was a famous case of a guy in the 60s called Tom Simpson who keeled over and died mid race because of a combination of competing on amphetamines and high summer heat. there are also cases of botched blood transfusions making athletes critically ill, athletes who have underwent "ozone therapy" which is dangerous and has no actual benefit etc. so to argue that theres no reason to test for peds in sport is insane. frankly there is no safe way to take banned peds that are a) controlled and must be obtained illegally b) untested and c) not administered by a health professional

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Skip My Posts posted:

yeah thats hosed up how do you measure the truly long term effects like causing cancer

dunno ... im not a scientist, its just some second hand knowledge. i imagine there was some scientific paper where a bunch of lab rats got cancer or something at some point

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

tesilential posted:

I agree, but A, B and C are all caused by the prohibition of steroids, not the steroids themselves. If they were allowed then those would all cease to be risk factors.

untrue cos it wasnt any different before either. theres a lot of horror stories about the realities of professional sport before ped use was banned .. you cant trust people to police themselves. sport is undeniably a lot safer nowadays than it used to be

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Lord Waffle Beard posted:

You gotta protect these guys from harming themselves!

*cheers while Kim Winslow watches someone's brains ooze onto the canvas*

i would never cheer for something like that

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Lord Waffle Beard posted:

There are two perceived wrongs, neither of which are actually wrong

every wrong is a perceived wrong ... thats how human society functions

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Lord Waffle Beard posted:

I don't think combat or enhancing your performance are wrong

me neither

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

cis autodrag posted:

there was a guy at the gym i used to lift at who was a pro bodybuilder and he added a drug to his postcycle that was supposed to help your balls recover better but it turns out one of the side effects is that you start developing more melanoblasts so you start turning a weird yellowish brown and eventually get skin cancer. and he was absolutely willing to do it to reduce steroid-induced ball tinyness by 3% or whatever.

i think if you want a level playing field a PED ban is better than "let everyone do whatever" because with the latter guys will absolutely use poo poo with clearly documented horrible side effects so they can be really good right now. even in the non-hitting-people sports this is still true (as inri has been relating with cycling) and frankly i dont want to see somebody's balls become a sentient and separate entity and eat their whole body so that the world record on the 100m becomes .01 seconds faster.

Mr T ate my balls lol

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Work Friend Keven posted:

What's the one drug cyclists were taking that turned their bodies into the bus from speed.

epo

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

cis autodrag posted:

it was because they had so many red blood cells that it increased their blood's viscosity beyond what your resting heart rate can pump, right? that's kind of cool in the perverse mad science sort of way.

supposedly .. this was around the time that the harmful side effects were becoming known in the medical community so i think it was more a superstitious overreaction than athletes being in any real danger though. epo is used in every sport including MMA even to this day

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

willie_dee posted:

135 to 185 currently off cycle but ok.


Most pro athletes are using via a professional health person monitoring them and what they are taking is a slightly modified tested substance that is altered just for the sake of its compound being not on the banned list.

i assure you they arent

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

JaySB posted:

Guys with money aren't buying bootleg steroids from China and injecting them with no regard. Bodybuilders maybe but athletes no.

maybe 2% of athletes in the world are making above minimum wage if theyre making anything at all

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

JaySB posted:

You see where I prefaced my statement "guys with money"

My apologies .. i just think its an important point when it comes to discussing the manner in which athletes choose to use this stuff

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011
he annihilated rockhold in every sense of the word. hopefully rockhold can recover spiritually and cerebrally from the intense pwnage, i think he will be fine though. since he fights for a living

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011
ne1 rememebr that video of bisping being served by a butler and calmly declaring that he is still a dickhead

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Bubba Smith posted:

Didn't Bisping give a savage beating to Dennis Kang? I mean, as far as british beatings go

if the uk in general excels at one aspect of fighting its striking. specifically, boxing

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Skjorte posted:

Bisping 100% won the fight versus Kang thanks to his wrestling, though.

We also excel at wrestling ... for example we have a strong high school wrestling program, and a McDonalds on every street

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

chaleski posted:

Anderson had that fight completely won and then walked away and refused to stop celebrating on top of the cage then refused to stop doing Wing Chun with his back to the cage in the next round

For being an all time great Anderson can be a loving moron

thats not really fair .. its so hard to get down and do it all again when youve already lost focus. bisping won fairly and looked good but i dont think its to andersons detriment

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

win

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I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

andrade will have her day i think .. shes got time

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