ITT We are new Millenial parents

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > ITT We are new Millenial parents

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

*gives baby hormone treatments to change zir gender*

# ¿ May 12, 2017 17:21

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 17:48

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

*feeds baby nothing but cold pressed vegan Jucerio juice*

# ¿ May 12, 2017 19:03

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

walgreenslatino posted:

*doesnt realize he's a millennial*

*whines about slightly younger millennials in 30th consecutive GBS thread*

im generation Y

# ¿ May 13, 2017 16:00

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Bonzo posted:

Where can a buy a vape pen that blows bubbles?

i just got one of these for dear little Hayden, for the vitamins

# ¿ May 25, 2017 23:47

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Sic Semper Goon posted:

Personally, I want the whole "unique" name fad to begin again, from classical times.

Tiberius or Aelia?

i'm naming my kids Caligula and Nero

# ¿ May 26, 2017 19:00

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Chomp8645 posted:

Really not any different than the last generation's solution being "put them in front of a Nintendo".

these lazy kids couldn't handle a Nintendo game. I spent an entire summer trying to beat Contra. modern kids would just give up and play another round of cookie clicker :argh:

# ¿ May 29, 2017 19:53

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Quidam Viator posted:

*Puts 0-6 month old baby into a series of containers and slings*

*Baby literally never learns to roll over, screams if on its side or god forbid on stomach*

*innocent loving infant develops rectangular loving ribcage and is crippled because mom can't put down phone *

*millennial mom brings infant to expensive loving massage therapist (me) to teach 6 month old how to lift its head or roll over*

*I take all their loving money, mom never puts the phone down during the whole thing *

*Puts baby back in container immediately carrying it in one hand, wailing on that loving phone with the other. *

bonsai baby

# ¿ May 30, 2017 00:27

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 17:48

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Panfilo posted:

Is the whole bonsai baby practice really all that new? There are plenty of cultures that lug kids around in slings and those kids don't necessarily end up as paraplegics.

those people have to actually work for a living. they put the baby down to go work in the fields

# ¿ May 30, 2017 17:08

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > ITT We are new Millenial parents