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Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
Name (First & Last): Soup Athanatos
Birthday: March 27
Birth Year (1999-2001): 2000
Height: 6''5
Weight: 260
City: Bortville
Country: USA
Position: LW
Number: 1
Handedness: RW

Pick one of the paths to the Pros:
College

Player Type:
Real life counterpart (active or retired) or short description of player: Chicks dig Shots on Goal and Big hits: Byfuglien

Forward Player Types: Two-Way Forward

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Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
University of Nebraska Omaha

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967

Hockles posted:

Central Scouting Preseason 2018 NHL Draft Projections


Projected high? Better hit my twitter up and delete all the times I said "I love boobies"

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967

a false posted:

another year, another hall of fame athanatos drafted by the leafs

well poo poo

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
*googles how to play left wing*

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967

Hockles posted:

All-Stars
Atlantic (AHL) - Touchdown Thomas (1st selection)
Pacific (AHL) - Coach Hockles (1st Selection)

Notable Stats
Athanatos is 5th in the NHL in goals

Where is the fan vote, assholes.

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967

aunt jemima posted:

And with only 60 GP too. Is there a way to determine if that was due to injury? I'm guessing so if his role was 2nd line.

I Nancy Kerrigan'd you in the parking lot after practice so I could keep more ice time

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967

Hockles posted:

Calder Memorial Trophy (Rookie of the Year)
Soup Athanatos -- Colorado Avalanche

Chicks* Dig Shots On Goal


*(and award voters)

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
COL -- Soup Athanatos is 1st Line FWD
COL -- Aunt Jemima is a 2nd Line FWD

That's right.

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
Rolling down the streets of Denver in my newly bought Escalade playing "I'm so paid" with the windows down

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967

Hockles posted:


All-Stars

Central - Aunt Jemima (2nd selection)


gently caress is this?

I think running over those school children while riding dirty around Denver did not help me get ASG votes.

Still paid though.

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967

Hockles posted:

NHL Awards[/b][/u]
Stanley Cup Champions
Colorado Avalanche


Conn Smythe Trophy (Playoff MVP)
Coach Hockles -- Colorado Avalanche

Maurice "Rocket" Richard Trophy (Most Goals)
Soup Athanatos -- Colorado Avalanche
Touchdown Thomas -- New York Islanders


Comments
The Big 3 bring a Cup to Colorado.


Good poo poo boys. Gotta get that back-to-back.

Hockles posted:

COL - re-signed Aunt Jemima to a $29.6mil/3yr contract

MONEY FORT FIGHT
(Can I borrow 100k?)

Hockles posted:

2022-23 Opening Night Info
COL -- Soup Athanatos is 1st Line FWD
COL -- Aunt Jemima is a 2nd Line FWD

Guess you can use all that time while I start the game to count your money.

Hockles posted:

CBJ - signed UFA Coach Hockles to a $19.2mil/3yr contract

You're loving dead to me.

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967

aunt jemima posted:

Check the TOI tho :smuggo:

Start the game then head off to sign all the autographs the fans want

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967

aunt jemima posted:

Ouch, first round exit for the avs. Zero points in 6 playoff games for me and a -5. Glad I'm the highest paid player in the sim

You are sucking up all our team money and not scoring any points?! I should join Hockles

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
You did this to us AJ. Your gross contract ran off Hockles and that was the end of the big 3. We got no All-Star, we aint even going to make the playoffs. Are you happy with yourself in that big rear end money fort?

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967

aunt jemima posted:

so Colorado has two all-stars on our top line but is also second to last in points :shrug:

The ESPN 30 for 30 will be about how your greed ruined our roster and what could have been a dynasty.

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967

fits posted:

colorado noooo

We need to run AJ off the team, you poo poo is his locker, I'll let 3 psi out of each of his tires per day.

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
gently caress Colorado, I want out of here, what a crock of poo poo organization. Nobody in their right mind would want to be there. Such a poo poo show.

"Sir we want to give you 34 million dollars"

Home sweet home, Colorado.

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
We're BACK BABY!

aunt jemima posted:

Another day another dollar. :clint:

Hey this guy's a Communist!

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
wtf is with my ASG votes?

I'm top 5 goal scorer every year

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967

Turdsdown Tom posted:

looks like we both just got juked the gently caress out of our rightful place in the most meaningless game of the season

We are starting our own All Star Game.

Rule number 1 no aunt jemima

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
So close.

Couldn't overcome AJ's -2 in the playoffs.

What a jerk

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967

aunt jemima posted:

Back in the ASG and back in the basement standings-wise :confuoot:

I think I gave up on life

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
I feel it in the air.

Colorado.

Title Town once again.

For too many season AJ has held us back. His money grubbing ways keeping this team from a 2nd cup. But not this year. This is the year. Book it.

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
Big money AJ putting up 2 goals and a -9 in the playoffs.

All that money is a boat anchor

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967

Pleads posted:

Wow swept in the finals way to put your best foot forward Avs



Nice nice, well done looking good boys...

wait, what's that? There is a 3rd Colorado player?



son of a

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
After the playoffs, I bought some Ad Space in downtown Colorado:







Hockles posted:

Comments
Jemima, officially retire

It worked.

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
Soup plays hockey his brain isnt super good.

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
The greatest player Colorado has ever had walks off into the sunset. They hang his number up in the rafters.

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Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
Thanks Hockles, you're a peach

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