UKMT General Elextravaganza 2017: Lord Buckethead would have won

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT General Elextravaganza 2017: Lord Buckethead would have won

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What is the best flav... you all know what this question is: This poll is closed.
Labour	907	49.92%
Theresa May Team (Conservative)	48	2.64%
Liberal Democrats	31	1.71%
UKIP	13	0.72%
Plaid Cymru	25	1.38%
Green	22	1.21%
Scottish Socialist Party	12	0.66%
Scottish Conservative Party	1	0.06%
Scottish National Party	59	3.25%
Some Kind of Irish Unionist	4	0.22%
Alliance / Irish Nonsectarian	3	0.17%
Some Kind of Irish Nationalist	36	1.98%
Misc. Far Left Trots	35	1.93%
Misc. Far Right Fash	8	0.44%
Monster Raving Loony	49	2.70%
Space Navies Party	39	2.15%
Independent / Single Issue	2	0.11%
Can't Vote	188	10.35%
Won't Vote	8	0.44%
Spoiled Ballot	15	0.83%
Pissflaps	312	17.17%
Total:	1817 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Jose posted:

student unions and everone else involved in student politics deserve dissolving in a vat of acid

This is a popular option according to a recent Pol.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2017 21:34

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 23:49

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Jedit posted:

Also it's illegal to carry a bladed weapon of that size in public, so hopefully someone has notified the Peelers.

If the pigs shoot him in public does that mean they get the �50k?

# ¿ Jun 4, 2017 12:22

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

jabby posted:

Mays speech is littered with dogwhistle Islamophobia to boot.

"British values are superior"

What even are British values?

The only ones that spring to mind are the legal contrasts with the continent such as Blackstone's formulation of "it is better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer" compared with Bismarck (and later Wolfgang Sch�uble) stating the inverse, and a preference for analytic philosophy over structuralist and post-structuralist philosophy, but it's clear that May herself isn't a true believer in either.

# ¿ Jun 4, 2017 12:47

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

nopantsjack posted:

Were people always this evil?

Historically they were often a lot worse. A couple hundred years back it was only the most radical religious types who were saying "hey guys maybe black people aren't livestock" and opposition to torture as an official part of the judicial process was the realm of ivory tower academics.

Literacy, broadcasting, and new forms of communications allowed us to see and understand people outside of our immediate circle and led to revolutions in human rights and mutual understanding. It's also given a pulpit for vile fuckers to present their stupid opinions about people dying at sea, but I'm certain they always existed in various forms.

# ¿ Jun 4, 2017 17:09

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Angepain posted:

well now I just want to read an anarchist homicide-detective novel. how will the process of forcing them to dramatically return their badge and gun in the second act be affected? these are the important questions

This made me re-read Libertarian Police Department again which is admittedly the worst type of 'anarchism' :ancap:

An anarcho-syndicalist PD would potentially give too much power to the police unions. There could be a scene where the police union has to vote on whether the detective keeps their badge and gun.
A green anarchist PD would probably see the police as accountable to a democratic municipality, with open records after the case. Also their guns would fire lead free bullets.
Anarcho-primativist homicide detective would angrily slam his leaf on the rock and refuse to hand over his stick, which belongs to the Earth anyway.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2017 00:22

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Trin Tragula posted:

after Broadwater Farm.

Wikipedia posted:

The controversy, however, did not prevent him becoming MP for Tottenham in the 1987 election, one of only four black MPs at the time, the others being Diane Abbott, Paul Boateng and Keith Vaz.

uhh...

I get what they're trying to say, I think. But still.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2017 00:41

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Pissflaps posted:

I think the youth vote dipped under the last labour government because young people were content and therefore unmotivated to pay an interest in politics.

I'm struggling to think which young people were content under the last labour government.

It wasn't the young students, because tuition fees. It wasn't the young radicals, because Bush and Iraq. It wasn't the young on council estates, because of ever present ASBOs and suspicion. It wasn't the young BAME people because of racialized anti-terror and stop and search. It wasn't even the young liberals because of the number of bans and prohibitions.

Young Tories maybe?

# ¿ Jun 5, 2017 11:19

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Oberleutnant posted:

scrunched the ballot paper into a ball and shoved it straight up my arse

Potential new thread title for Friday.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2017 11:56

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

WhiskeyWhiskers posted:

If a policeman saw known jihadists who weren't in the process of committing a crime they could execute them on the spot. Obviously shoot to kill is not current policy.

Also it relies on the ability of said officers to determine who is a known jihadist from a distance without going up and asking them.

Running around with a knife and a bomb jacket satisfies reasonable suspicion and more there, but I'm not sure I trust the discretion of anyone to differentiate between 'known jihadist' and 'awkward looking Asian guy' down the barrel of a gun.

My uncle apparently looked a lot like someone on one of the watch lists. Never did find out who but it was always fun when he tried boarding a ferry. Fortunately not enough to get randomly shot up, but he did get held for a couple of hours and questioned about his 'fake British passport'.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2017 12:19

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Oberleutnant posted:

My seat predictions:

Lab: 420
UKIP: 14
CON: 88
SNP: 69

What charity?

# ¿ Jun 5, 2017 12:31

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Jose posted:

remember when russell brand endorsed him after voter registration ended

Months leading to the election "don't vote, the system is all rigged, they're all corrupt, watch the Trews for Trew News :420:

"
Day after registration ends "I spoke to Ed and you should vote Labour"

# ¿ Jun 5, 2017 12:54

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Ewan posted:

Home Sec --> PM is a relatively normal progression.

Is it? I can only think of Churchill and Callaghan. I think there was another one but pre-20th century so Lord Aristocratic Cravatlace or something.

Home and Foreign are famous for putting people you don't really want to become future PM.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2017 13:37

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Ewan posted:

Fair enough - seems I'm talking bollocks on that one. Obvs there's May herself to add to that too...

Apparently before the 1850s it was a more usual progression, but the office itself was a lot different then, and some of them were simultaneously PM and Home Sec. In modern politics it only seems to happen when you've worked at a lot of high profile offices or appointments, as with Churchill and Callaghan, or literally nobody else wants the job, as with May.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2017 13:50

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Autonomous Monster posted:

This is what I'm told, and anecdotally it matches my experience at counts. They open up the boxes and Tories come flooding out.

I'm going to start doing that thing that Latin American customs do where they stab all boxes with a sharp metal rod now, just in case.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2017 14:28

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

big scary monsters posted:

It'd be more like get three planes and vote, I think I'll be sitting this one out.

And a fourth in a field in Pennsylvania? :tinfoil:

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 00:30

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

big scary monsters posted:

Finland's attempt was to make licorice one of their major food groups, but for some reason they kept it long after the bet was over.

Licorice is nice provided that you coat it with enough powdered fertilizer found on burning coal dumps.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 09:14

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Oberleutnant posted:

Imagine being a farmer in 2017 i mean... really... lol its the future idiots, who needs food?

We will all have aquaponic farms and those things on indiegogo that breed edible mealworms. At least the ones of us that haven't starved will. Mass famine is the mother of all invention etc.

Junior G-man posted:

They wanted to grow GM

I hope Brexit means that I can import GloFish now so I can starve surrounded by my fancy glowing fish.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 11:08

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

If you don't have a TV then what are you posting on? :pseudo:

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 11:10

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

MrL_JaKiri posted:

If the City wanders off to the continent then that's 10% of tax income immediately up in smoke

Imagine if we replaced them with real jobs.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 11:37

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

nopantsjack posted:

Lol is that article basically saying "the UK uses a crazy, broken system where they raise taxes to pay for public services"?

They should use a sane system where local property taxes pay for local schools and hospitals and that definitely doesn't make a massive gulf between the qualities of services in rich and poor areas.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 12:24

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Halisnacks posted:

Who's going to replace Tim Farron and Paul Nuttall?

They'll swap over.

Tim will grow a pube beard and a flat cap and put on his best working class Preston accent to complain about the Sharias and find a new home that won't taunt him about the gay frog chemicals any more. Paul will go all middle class hipster with his big specs and discover that the true meaning of British values is Paine, Mill, and radical centrist liberalism.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 14:04

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Tesseraction posted:

quote:
On day one we will instruct the National Infrastructure Commission to report on how to roll out "ultrafast" (3000bps) across the UK within the next decade.

Corbyn really is going to take us back to the 70s :ohdear:

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 15:25

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxtKI6DlAEI

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 16:29

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

mehall posted:

Yeah, he hates the un-unionised.

That's a double negative. He hates the ionised.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 17:39

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Miftan posted:

I thought the greens were the ones who hated science?

He doesn't hate the science, he just hates that they charge.

Julio Cruz posted:

They're too reactionary for him.

feedmegin posted:

SNP - well, this one's obvious

Thistles and whisky?

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 17:46

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Regarde Aduck posted:

That happens? I thought that was just a libertarian wet dream.

There were some rural towns in Tennessee iirc a couple years back that decided to save budget by not paying for fire coverage and giving the option for individuals to pay for it. I think they stopped after the fires.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 18:41

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Depends on the reason. For control orders no, because of ~internet radicalization~ or whatever.

On the other hand, none of the rest of us will be getting it either if May has her way.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 21:48

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

OwlFancier posted:

If you're driven to despondency by the heil and the sun running absurd election day front pages then one wonders how you're still alive.

Some MPs urinated on the brave journalists. :qq:

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 23:20

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

TACD posted:

I'd really like to see somebody go out and ask the average Mail reader what they think 'troika' means.

Foreign, therefore bad.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 23:30

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Guy Goodbody posted:

That just seems like evil for the sake of evil

Welcome to the Conservative Party.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2017 01:10

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

MikeCrotch posted:

That was what everyone assumed the Lib Dems would do, but as per usual they couldn't bear sticking to an actual, principled ideological position and instead meekly triangulated to the middle when it looked like people were getting more used to the idea of Brexit after A50 was triggered, inadvertently killing themselves in the process.

Inadvertently Killing Themselves in the Process - The Tim Farron Story

# ¿ Jun 7, 2017 11:01

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Vlex posted:

It's things like this, not accidents of geography, history, politics, linguistics, or taste in crisp flavours, which will ensure this thread remains inscrutable to outsiders.

I think you'll find everybody knows Badger loves mashed potatoes. :colbert:

# ¿ Jun 7, 2017 12:11

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

goddamnedtwisto posted:

Voting for Corbyn would require them to swear an oath of allegiance to the Crown so I don't think they're likely to just do that for the craic.

They can make a solemn affirmation instead of an oath if they choose, but that assumes it's the God part that the object to and not the Crown part.

Or they could opt to take it in Scottish Gaelic, and replace 'Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth' with 'a tub of rubber ducks' safe in the knowledge that nobody speaks Scottish Gaelic.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2017 12:27

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

WeAreTheRomans posted:

Why would Shinners speak in Scottish Gaelic rather than Gaeilge?

You can only take the oath or affirmation in English, Welsh, Scottish Gaelic, or Cornish. Shameful there's no Scots oath imo.

kustomkarkommando posted:

Its just not going to happen

I don't think anyone is seriously expecting Sinn F�in Dad to ride up the Thames on a giant rubber duck boat and shout God Save The _{mumble mumble}, thereby propelling Corbyn to government. It's fun to play pretend though.

Jealous Cow posted:

Fat American here, but this seems concerning:

https://twitter.com/theresa_may/status/872181737933217794

Is she role playing V for Vendetta or something?

It's concerning, and either a U-Turn on her manifesto pledge to stay within the ECHR framework or at best empty rhetoric. There's no real UK equivalent of Area Man passionate defender of what he imagines Constitution to be for civil liberties though (except the Freemen on the Land who believe that the Magna Carta has a bit about speeding tickets) and 'human rights' has been basically turned into a slur in some crowds who assume that it only applies to murderers and terrorists, so there will be passionate cheering from the tabloids as the right to fair trial is replaced with indefinite house arrest in a portajohn.

Her anti-encryption rhetoric and her plan to give the executive sweeping powers during the Brexit are even more concerning.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2017 13:47

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

sassassin posted:

You can't arrest/deport someone just because their mother-in-law says they're a bad egg and there's a photo of them holding a flag.

You need hard evidence/proof of wrongdoing/conspiracy to commit acts of terrorism etc.

Presumably with Manchester guy there was a point before the attack when he was preparing a backpack full of explosives without much in the way of good reason to explain why, so there was an opportunity there. Whether there was a reasonable opportunity for a non-psychic police service is up for a review to decide.

With Westminster it's even harder though. There's no law against having kitchen knives in your kitchen (yet). Or having nebulous canisters. Or renting a van while Muslim. I'm not even sure attacks like that are preventable at any stage (outside of a traffic cop getting lucky 5 minutes beforehand) without taking measures that have worse effects than the risk of the attacks themselves. The only way out of that situation is to tackle the reasons why people do them in the first place.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2017 14:56

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Ague Proof posted:

Does anyone else think it's wrong that one of the major parties (obviously supported by the mods) is on the top and the other below it? It's clearly rigged. I had to go through a dozen third party spoiler votes just to find Pissflaps, which is "conveniently" at the very bottom. I wonder how many people were turned off by it, or couldn't find it on the polls?

It's all rigged.

Also I don't think Pissflaps is even running a candidate in my constituency. I might have to put an X for 'no' in the Labour box just as a 'gently caress you' to the Corbyknights. Owen Smith would have won.

If Labour was in a different position it might not be red, and that would be just terrible. Nobody likes Blue Labour.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2017 15:32

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Jose posted:

Is it really that easy?

Diazepam is barely even controlled. They used to sell it on eBay and still sell it on some

sports supplements

sites.

Whether you trust the purity of what you get is a different matter, it's mostly diverted from Indian manufacturers who are fairly good, but lel black market.

The professional NHS advice would be do not take internet benzos. Also do not vote Tory.

e: Did the thread find out why electrician wasn't a proper job? There is a lot of memorizing standards and drinking tea involved, but that's every British job.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2017 20:47