Horrible Customers: The Retailing

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Horrible Customers: The Retailing

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Ziv Zulander posted:

What type of gas station lets people refuel before paying?

It baffles me that this was ever allowed.

I worked graveyard at a gas station before. That kinda rules, being the only employee when drunk dickbags try to be assholes..

<My intercom buzzes>

Me: Hello?

Guy: Hey I'm at the car wash and it doesn't work, I need a refund.

ME: Oh, I hate it when that happens, yeah come in and I'll give you a refund no problem.

Guy: Yeah you'd better rear end in a top hat!

Me: Actually, hold on, I'll come right out to you so you don't have to get out

[I walk out from behind the counter, lock all the doors]

Me(back on intercom): Hey

Guy: Yeah?

Me: Suck my dick

Guy: EXUCSE ME?????

Me: Did I stutter? S-S-S-Suck my D-D-Dick!

So many times, the manager would come in the next day and say "I got some weird complaints last night," but then just shrug it off because what do you expect from the overnight shift guy at a gas station?

Drunk Nerds fucked around with this message at 02:15 on Jun 13, 2017

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 02:10

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 14:22

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Isaac posted:

I heard a customer complain that the self-checkout was rude to her.

I'll put an unexpected item in your bagging area, bitch!

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 01:21

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

It said I had an unexpected item in my bagging area, but Im childfree

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 01:22

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

berth ell pup posted:

i just put a piece of blue tape over the barcode on my license. thus if someone who actually has authority needs to scan it they can take it off and if it's some register jockey they'll have to take two extra seconds to key it in like they did forever.

I feel like I missed something? Why would you do this?

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 02:56

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

ZombieJesus posted:

Does retail travel agency count? Cause that job has some real poo poo customers.

The lady preparing her honeymoon who wants six different options for hotels in Bali, I spend a really solid amount of time and put together a really freaking nice package in her stated budget, and she comes back with a series of TripAdvisor reviews from obviously insane people as justification for why she can't stay at any of the options I gave her, and finally admits that she had wanted to stay at one particular place the whole time... Why she couldn't tell me that before I put in all the work

Or the guy that was so aspergers that it hurts, who is planning a three month adventure in Europe. Having done similar trips myself, I recommended that he buy flights and maybe the first hotel, then just wing it, it's super fun to go with the flow. Silly me. Clearly that wouldn't work for this guy. Instead, he proceeded to spend multiple (at least 4, from memory), hours long appointments where we went through his entire daily schedule, and I booked in the flights, transfers, tours, hotels, etc, that he had thoroughly researched himself, for every single day of his trip. Dream customer, right? Booking everything through a travel agent? Except no, because he had researched everything so much that he chose the cheapest poo poo for all of it, so I made sweet gently caress all money off all these hours of work. My agency had a price beat guarantee, so I couldn't turn him down for any of it.

And all the people that would come in for us to do the price beat guarantee on a 200 buck flight, so they save themselves 2 (two) dollars compared to booking it online instantly themselves. Like, these were people that worked in banks in a financial district, their hourly pay would mean that 2$ was beyond pointless, for everyone involved (except the travel agency, which is why they did it). I know I never made any money off it

I did not find these stories to be in the spirit of the thread. Like you flippantly told someone with asberger's, who was intentionally using your service to plan a trip, to "wing it, it worked for me!." If they wanted to wing it, why the hell would they need a travel atent?

Then it was implied that its somehow his fault for being a prudent shopper and not the fault of your useless middleman company's ridiculous commision scheme. None of these people were rude, nor particularly more demanding than, "please provide a travel research service from your travel research company."

Drunk Nerds fucked around with this message at 14:41 on Jun 18, 2017

# ¿ Jun 18, 2017 14:37

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

No no no, I didn't say he had asberger's, I said he was spergy.

Yeah, that totally justifies you telling him to wing it. You did a bad job and now you're clinging to meaningless semantics rather than accept the fact that maybe you're the rear end in a top hat in your self-owning story.

# ¿ Jun 19, 2017 16:05

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

A Pack of Kobolds posted:

It is an abnormally insane price for Copper River salmon, but they were asking it. Most places it's usually around $25/lb for CR King salmon and like $18/lb for CR sockeye or other non-King option. Salmon that doesn't have "Copper River" in the title is about half of the CR priced stuff most places here, and I'm not even talking about the farmed Atlantic salmon. That is usually about $6/lb and not very good.

I know a guy who fishes, so I currently have 20 lbs of King salmon in my freezer at $5/lb
:smug:

# ¿ Jun 27, 2017 15:54

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Xaris posted:

Little pro tip, use (area code) Jenny's number and it works all the time at all those stores. Great for the rare CVS stop and poo poo is super expensive if there's isn't a cvs card sale on it

Also easy to remember

This seems like a smart idea. I will try it, thanks

# ¿ Jun 28, 2017 14:14

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Tiberius Thyben posted:

I have a few non retail stories. I used to work at a coca cola shipping warehouse. One day, a guy wandered in and asked to speak to whoever was in charge. I figured he was a small customer or something picking up an order or whatever, and pointed him in the direction of the lead hand. Half an hour later, lead hand comes up and asks why I was sending idiots his way. Apparently the guy got an email from "Coca-Cola UK" (this was in Canada) telling him he won a bunch of money, and to give them a bunch of info. He did, and he came in here to ask why he hadn't gotten the money yet, and how to get it. The guy would not believe he was being scammed, and wanted to see a local or regional manager because clearly the lead hand just didn't know about it. Eventually the lead hand needed to tell him that he would ask his boss and get back to him to get him to leave.

On the lighter side, once an older lady and a kid wandered into the warehouse through an open overhead door as we were moving trucks and asked if we did tours. I said I was afraid not, and we don't actually make anything there, just ship it, so there isn't anything to see. She was a bit embarrassed, so I said it was no problem at all, gave them a couple bottles of free pop and sent them on their way.

You unironically sound cool as hell

# ¿ Jun 30, 2017 04:14

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

The Walrus posted:

my girlfriend had a customer do the 'lay 5 dollar bills on the table and take one away whenever your coffee is a later than you expect" thing. Even funnier as we're in Toronto and they were using American ones. she took great pleasure in ignoring their table all meal and then when they began their 'well dear see you would have gotten this much but' speech she informed them that five dollars would have also have been a poor tip.

shes a good kid.

I remember someone did this exact same thing on Cheers, and Carla did something reall funny, but I don't remember what.

# ¿ Jul 6, 2017 00:46

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

I'm so skinny and attractive

# ¿ Jul 7, 2017 20:41

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

That's why they can never have robotic mail carriers... slapping a shipping label on a mailbox with its own address written on it would cause the robot to explode

# ¿ Jul 11, 2017 05:50

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

It's a lot harder to go to college now than it was in 2005. The economy crashed and upper education support was all but discontinued. Getting a retail store to schedule your hours around school schedule was common then, but pretty unheard of now. Retail salaries used to be able to pay for part time state schooling but now that costs more annually than a retail workers full time salary

"Just get an education while you work," is the modern "just go into a business and shake the manager's hand to get a job."

Drunk Nerds fucked around with this message at 22:24 on Jul 28, 2017

# ¿ Jul 28, 2017 22:22

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Glenn Quebec posted:

Nah, I get it. It's literally impossible for everyone and the stars aligned for you and me.

https://goo.gl/images/m4UlMZ

Ice meltdown

Drunk Nerds fucked around with this message at 01:02 on Jul 29, 2017

# ¿ Jul 29, 2017 00:57

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Glenn Quebec posted:

This is the greatest thread because retail workers go straight berserk on the drop of anything that isn't "lol customers are dumb"

Hi! Please respond to the posts that illustrate how going to college while working retail in 2017 is different than in 2005, or confess that you are a mentally challenged troll/sad average intelligence person.

Something special happened in between 2005 and now. Something that relates to us all, but especially to those people seeking college education. If you fail to acknowledge this in your posts I will be forced to assume you are too mentally challenged to understand the linear passage of time.

Hi!

# ¿ Jul 29, 2017 03:48

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Glenn Quebec posted:

I ate that three day prob for non-committally saying that I was a troll. The truth is that I believe that despite extenuating circumstances of a few (see: thr lady who only has $5 ever) that a majority of people that are stuck in a dead end job could benefit from learning a tradeskill, moving to an area with more opportunity or going to college despite the risk of incuring debt. I agree that all these options are risky and no guarantee.

You ate a three day because you posted career advice in a thread where "don't give career advice" is specifically in the OP. You just did it again even though the relevant part of the OP was cited ON THE PREVIOUS PAGE.

Just wow

# ¿ Aug 2, 2017 00:38

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

It's like you took a poo poo on the store floor, then asked a clerk, "hey, want to elevate your life and end up like me? Here's how!"

# ¿ Aug 2, 2017 00:41

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Zo posted:

except this is gbs, and the op is not a mod

if you want a retail safe space there's a thousand page retail megathread in the BFC subforum full of career sadbrains and nobody to make fun of you

There's a solid point here, in general. But in this specific instance I think it's reasonable to expect posters not to chastise peopke for working retail in the "share retail stories" thread.

I mean, I wouldn't go into a thread called, "share experiences with bitch made squareheads," and say, "look you dolts, just bootstrap and move away from Zo."

# ¿ Aug 2, 2017 01:00

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

AvesPKS posted:

Did someone get paid money to write this? I think they used exuberant when they meant exorbitant.

Also note in the beginning it's a family of five, but at the end it has been changed to a "couple."

# ¿ Aug 11, 2017 06:24

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Richard M Nixon posted:

Percentage tipping needs to die. I've received impeccable service at a five diamond restaurant and I sure as gently caress wanted to leave a good tip, but a 20% tip on $600 feels ridiculous for what was maybe 15 minutes of interaction.

Yes, that's the ridiculous expenditure in this humblebrag anecdote

# ¿ Aug 13, 2017 03:47

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Starman Super DX posted:

Can we add questions you couldn't possibly have exact answers for?

"Do you have beers that twist off?"

*scanning... scanning*

I am sorry sir but after scanning my data banks of the beer inventory I have found that the entry for twist off is not available.

idgi. It sounds like you can't name a beer that twists off, which is silly because I know you can?

# ¿ Aug 13, 2017 04:27

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 14:22

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Starman Super DX posted:

I honestly can't off the top of my head. I reach for a bottle opener automatically with everything I drink twist-off or not. Even if I could, giving him the name of maybe one beer wasn't going to be particularly helpful. Again, it's the expectation that I should know every detail and be able to rattle it off on the spot. Plus the phrasing is what bugged me a little. I mean yeah obviously we have ones that twist off I just haven't a clue which are which. I mean the other day some lady asked "Do you have beer in cans? Which ones?" Which would be almost half the department.

Whatever, I've been a little tweaked lately so I'm probably just being overly sensitive.

Oh, okay. Understandable. Here's some good advice:

Former DILF posted:

just tell him to buy domestic if he wants lovely garbage weak rear end factory beer

# ¿ Aug 13, 2017 23:11

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