Time for Crab: Now with Kung-Fu Snip!

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Time for Crab: Now with Kung-Fu Snip!

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Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Hmm

# ¿ Nov 16, 2017 05:41

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 02:15

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

a bone to pick posted:

Coconut crabs can kill birds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELfaZ_Bqzrw

Cool video of a single image with 5 minutes of text to speech narration for some reason

# ¿ Nov 16, 2017 20:00

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

ContraBoss posted:

Jeez I feel like I wouldn't even be able to add water to their setup without the slightest force knocking them down or breaking a leg.

sea spiders are real tiny

# ¿ Nov 18, 2017 04:02

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

ContraBoss posted:

Close! I actually have a ton of fond childhood memories, but a poo poo load of insecurities resulting from various real/perceived failures at school/work or embarrassing experiences. My parents did split, but I was 16/17 and it wasn't that traumatic. What does eat me more than I wish is the fact that my family was so much happier in the 90s, and now they're mostly consumed by their own demons, and I feel their pain every day.

Was your family crabs in the 90s?

# ¿ Nov 26, 2017 20:44

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Dr. Faustus posted:

This is now my 2nd favorite thread.

I also love some big king crab/snow crab legs with butter and lemon goddamn!

Never had any luck with the claw-meat, but frankly I grow impatient when there is crab to be had.

Also so for real I've seen on Food Network like a million times, right after those crabs molt you batter, flour, fry them, and eat them whole? Is that how it really works? Shell and all? How is that? The shell-and-all part just seems weird but it sure looks good on a po'boy or roll or white bread or whatever.

It takes quite a while for shells to harden after a molt.

# ¿ Nov 27, 2017 07:00

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

ContraBoss posted:

I can't bring myself to purchase live crab anymore. Everyone just casually steams them alive, but all I can think about is hearing them becoming more and more frantic as the temperature rises, the scratching sounds inside the pot getting noisier, and then almost all at once, silence, as steam gently billows out of the pot lid.

Get some clove oil and anesthetize them first.

I really wish people would give as much of a poo poo about arthropods as they do mammals.

# ¿ Dec 2, 2017 06:05

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

We Know Catheters posted:

It's just a giant bug. Stick a knife through the back of its head and it's all good.

Be nicer

# ¿ Dec 2, 2017 06:15

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

https://twitter.com/ClickHole/status/938966452001964032

# ¿ Dec 8, 2017 04:02

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Mak0rz posted:

Interesting fact about horseshoe crabs: they aren't even crabs! They belong to the arthropod subphylum Chelicerata, which includes arachnids. They're more closely related to spiders than they are to crabs!

They join their spider brethren as honorary crabs in my books

All arthropods are just crabs with various degrees of shell and pichers

# ¿ Dec 8, 2017 07:20

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

# ¿ Dec 9, 2017 00:56

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

LordArgh posted:

an interesting thing about horseshoe crabs is that their blood is actually blue because they use copper as an oxygen carrier rather than iron like we do

That's why it's medically useful, very few microorganisms can hang out in horseshoe crab blood

# ¿ Dec 10, 2017 00:46

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

etalian posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTReMFnGDUk

Heh, edit gave away the best part by putting it in the tumbnail. I'm keeping these ad bucks for myself!

# ¿ Dec 11, 2017 12:58

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Why did that badass crab rip it's own claw off?

That crab had been attacked by a bird. They can regrow them by moulting

# ¿ Dec 18, 2017 11:03

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Bell_ posted:

They say the crabs evolved this way, but perhaps samurai masks did instead

edit: fixed

Nah, there used to be normal ones too but fisherman would throw back the samurai faced ones

# ¿ Dec 30, 2017 06:20

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

ekuNNN posted:

Powerful

# ¿ Jan 9, 2018 02:17

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Flambeau posted:

Rad Crab

# ¿ Feb 12, 2018 05:47

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Beet Wagon posted:

I'm trying to imagine what could possibly shame the crab, noblest of all god's creatures. I don't get it and I think maybe you should go give those pet store people a firm talking to.

That crab knows what it did

# ¿ Feb 12, 2018 17:53

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

waggles posted:

I made a couple crab avs. I hope you like:

Crabatars

# ¿ Feb 14, 2018 19:41

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Who What Now posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoWzSTEcBqo

_{"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOU!!!"}

Psycho swimmer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-far better
Swim swim swim swim swim swim swim away oh oh

# ¿ Feb 17, 2018 23:45

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

ContraBoss posted:

Crabs are shameless cannibals. I just lost one of my burrowed molters, Capt. Snips, because a freshly molted hermit crab is delectable to other hermits.

Rip Snips...

RIP In Peas

# ¿ Feb 18, 2018 23:26

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Who What Now posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhEWKH7iMI4

Horseshoe crabs aren't even crabs, I'm pissed right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is this supposed to get funny or is it just a creationist video

# ¿ Feb 26, 2018 05:54

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

ContraBoss posted:

I was worried for a moment today that crabs didn�t own, but then I saw that one of mine were disposing of a cricket.

This particular cricket was rescued from the clutches of my cat, with no more than three legs to her name now (the cricket) after surviving her mistaken identity as a cat toy. I dubbed her Gimperella and she happily coexisted with the crabs, eating out of their food dish and what not. She grew up and mated, laid eggs, then promptly died a noble death by drowning in the salt water dish. She is already survived by her newborn babies running around, but I placed her carcass in front of my crab, Smee, who diligently started wolfing down the cricket in a dignified matter.

This anecdote has no real direction or sense, as you can tell, but I just think it�s cool that the crabs clean up their own tank.

Crabs still own.

That's one advantage crabs have over tarantulas, my spider won't clean up anything :mad:

# ¿ Feb 26, 2018 06:03

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

# ¿ Mar 1, 2018 04:03

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

# ¿ Mar 3, 2018 01:48

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

my cat is norris posted:

what the gently caress

i've never even heard of a mole crab let alone seen one

Me neither but they look rad

# ¿ Mar 8, 2018 17:30

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

While eye stalks would be bad to look at on mammals they're adorable on most invertebrates

# ¿ Mar 12, 2018 05:57

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

OWLS! posted:

What's wrong with my crab?

🤔

# ¿ Mar 15, 2018 18:39

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Foreskin Problems posted:

https://twitter.com/nussoft/status/971739295491940352

That dev also did the excellent (and janky) Ace of Seafood and Neo Aquarium.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2018 04:51

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

LingcodKilla posted:

Lol it�s a crab. They, just like chickens, would as soon eat you if they could.

So will literally any other meat eating animal, dipshit

# ¿ Mar 16, 2018 22:57

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Also pain hormones make meat tougher and taste noticeably worse. If you want tastier, humanely killed crustaceans buy some clove oil in ethanol and put them in a tank with a small amount mixed in water. It knocks them out pretty quickly, allowing for a painless, tastier meal.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2018 23:00

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

# ¿ Mar 21, 2018 23:02

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

# ¿ Mar 23, 2018 06:35

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

The Chad Jihad posted:

Reddit but this is adorable

https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/86mcon/shook_claws_with_some_curious_tuna_crabs_last/

Those are pretty cute

# ¿ Mar 24, 2018 01:43

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

# ¿ Mar 31, 2018 03:17

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

ekuNNN posted:

Let Them In

# ¿ Apr 11, 2018 03:13

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Worldshatter posted:

"Eat more lobster"

That seems improbable

# ¿ Apr 30, 2018 18:57

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

REMEMBER SPONGE MONKEYS posted:

Vampire crabs are p cool.

Spiders...eh (too many black widows out here, no thanks).

FWIW you have to try really hard to get bit by a black widow, they are very timid.

# ¿ Aug 7, 2018 14:20

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Mak0rz posted:

probably posted here before but idc

https://twitter.com/41Strange/status/1066426970852847616

I love this new valet service

# ¿ Nov 25, 2018 01:24

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Winklebottom posted:

the Kapsiki of northwestern Cameroon uses a form of divination based on the rearrangement of gourd pieces by a crab

Hell yeah, tall that future little dude

# ¿ Dec 2, 2018 06:59

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 02:15

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

REMEMBER SPONGE MONKEYS posted:

Disappointed in the lack of sound effects, tbh

E: quoted the right post this time

the bsd boys posted:

https://ve.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_pj2nlarZEa1ufbwoc.mp4

sound on, please

Improbable Lobster fucked around with this message at 08:38 on Dec 2, 2018

# ¿ Dec 2, 2018 07:02

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Time for Crab: Now with Kung-Fu Snip!

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