yospos lgbtqia+ thread: gender is a fsck

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > yospos lgbtqia+ thread: gender is a fsck

«‹›3 »

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

cis autodrag posted:

So on a more serous note, I wanted to talk about the stereotype that trans people are drawn to tech. Anecdotally, there do seem to be more trans people in tech than in the wider population, but my thinking is that the truth is that there's just more out trans people.

Also maybe, not being trans when studying to get into tech fields and transitioning later, so they experience less of what makes women run away screaming?

also:

Sagebrush posted:

anyway this is an interesting topic to me but i don't wanna be another heterosexual male occupying lgbt space so if this isn't cool tell me so and i will go away

# ¿ Dec 5, 2017 12:42

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 9, 2024 03:51

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

my ma�s p tall and she got called sir all the time, so it�s mosdef a thing, but doing it after you get handed ID is kinda naff

# ¿ Dec 9, 2017 09:55

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

Pikavangelist posted:

i'm told that fake pockets are a thing in some cases - the openings for pockets are there, but sewn shut

i can't help but feel like this is one of the more subtle examples of institutionalized misogyny

They're sewn shut to help the integrity of a garment's structure. You can just choose to not GAF and seam-rip them open.

Shifty Pony posted:

often the sewing which closes the pocket is also holding something else together.

This is the sign of lovely work.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2018 18:08

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

cis autodrag posted:

Lol. Typical male to think women want bionic piston dicks and not humans who listen to and respect them.

buddy they want both, and some clitoral attention because JFC it ain�t rocket science so get it together.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2018 08:29

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

ate all the Oreos posted:

meanwhile my nearly-90 year old grandma dgaf and just thinks it's nice that i got married, thanks grandma

Old people who DGAF are the best. When my brother came out our grams was the loving sweetest about it.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2018 15:53

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

Pollyanna posted:

poo poo she said:

so bullshit continues to happen

hahahahaha this read like a literal list of red flags. good on you for standing your ground.

for those unaware, compensation should always, always be negotiated after you�ve been offered a position, and never, ever tell anyone what you made at the previous place.

# ¿ Feb 17, 2018 00:24

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

speaking of work, aclu just won against an org that fired a worker for coming out as trans:

https://twitter.com/aclu/status/971472463044497409?s=21

# ¿ Mar 8, 2018 01:07

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

it�s a fine line between asking candid honest questions and

"When PoC are expected to educate white ppl as to their humanity, when women are expected to educate men, lesbians and gay men are expected to educate the heterosexual world, the oppressors maintain their position and evade their responsibility for their own actions" -Audre Lorde

# ¿ Mar 18, 2018 11:25

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

FAT32 SHAMER posted:

on the other hand I think most of the people lurking itt recognize that they are idiot dipshit oppressors in some way and wish to learn how so they don�t keep doing that; in a way they are not evading their responsibility but owning it and hoping not to make the same mistake again

Oh totally. But even consciously realizing this I quite often catch myself thinking in boneheaded oppressive ways. So I guess the MO should prob be to yes ask, but first have a little think about it.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2018 12:46

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

cis autodrag posted:

Also cis people treat your differently when they know regardless of how open they claim to be. There was a lady at my old job who had met me 100 times and would still loudly ask me about my pronouns every time I saw her, regardless of who was in earshot, for example.

I manage a bunch of people @ the office and I want you to know this is the kind of poo poo I would curbstomp mercilessly. Holy gently caress.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2018 12:55

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

gently caress yeah bud, glad it�s going to work out.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2018 18:52

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

cis autodrag posted:

I like that roller Derby seems to be universally accepting of trans women. I've seen rec leagues for other sports that don't allow trans women and it's so hosed.

derby in general is accepting of anyone who can take a punch and a joke. It's all kinds of awesome.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2018 22:23

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

Avenging_Mikon posted:

I'm out. I'm fragile as gently caress. Dainty as all get out, too.

I mean you can watch. top of the turn is the best spot. if you�re lucky you�ll get blood on you. or an entire rider. who knows.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2018 22:35

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

ate all the Oreos posted:

e: i'd give you the benefit of the doubt but the only reason i even remember your username is because of that screenshot of you asking sarah jeong to be your submissive asian waifu sooooo

guillotine.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2018 15:27

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

hurray!

# ¿ Apr 8, 2018 16:19

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

they weren�t funny

# ¿ Apr 8, 2018 16:50

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

cis autodrag posted:

See u guys when the anesthesia wears off...

Godspeed and all the good stuff

# ¿ Apr 11, 2018 17:58

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

cis autodrag posted:

No, I mean the shoulder straps. This thing looks like overalls. The shoulder straps are designed for a much shorter person.

if it�s really bad a tailor can lengthen those in 3 minutes flat. congrasstulations!

# ¿ Apr 12, 2018 07:20

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

yo auto drag if you want an av change just PM me what�s you�d like

evil_bunnY fucked around with this message at 13:34 on Apr 17, 2018

# ¿ Apr 17, 2018 12:18

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

cis autodrag posted:

D'awwww, look at this adorable pupper

It literally puts me in a better mood every time i see you post

# ¿ Apr 22, 2018 06:58

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

SENSUAL DAD KISS posted:

cqs: a very close friend who's always kept his sexuality close to his chest said that watching me go through the process of coming out years ago inspired him to work through his own sexuality and chose me as the first person he wanted come out to as bisexual the other day

hell yes

Shaman Linavi posted:

how do you all feel about a site like Hired asking about sexual orientation and transgender status in their optional information section? personally i think its a little weird and they can gently caress off

this is bad always and illegal depending on jurisdiction.

SENSUAL DAD KISS posted:

i have done genetic anomaly where I don't get any euphoria from opioids and I'm thankful for it every goddamn day because holy poo poo I know Iwould be volumetrically Chinese lofentanyl in bathroom otherwise.

The slow release opiates I got after a stint of orthopedic surgery literally did nothing for the pain and still gave me all the lovely side effects so I tossed them. I was lowkey thankful TBH.

evil_bunnY fucked around with this message at 10:59 on Apr 24, 2018

# ¿ Apr 24, 2018 10:55

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

Peeny Cheez posted:

Also, General Anesthesia terrifies me as a concept.

the way my anesthetist explained it to me, driving to the hospital was way riskier then getting put under. he�s retired now, but he worked for 38 years without losing a patient to an anesthesia incident.

# ¿ Apr 24, 2018 18:02

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

Lain Iwakura posted:

this is sort of a broad message: i get that some of you are allies (or perceive yourself as one), but you need to listen to those who identify as queer and not make your own assertions. there's a lot of sensitivity by those of us who are queer in whatever capacity and if you're cis, hetero, and especially white, you're going to come off as intrusive if you start to make statements that while in your own head may seem supportive but are otherwise are borderline or outright offensive

I�m a white cis hetero hopeful ally and basically this is what I have to keep telling myself. You�ll sometimes feel you have to �correct�/argue with someone, just loving don�t. You literally can�t put yourself in their shoes, so just stfu and listen.

evil_bunnY fucked around with this message at 09:18 on Apr 27, 2018

# ¿ Apr 27, 2018 09:15

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

ate all the Oreos posted:

idk if i'd go that far, I think you can absolutely put yourself in our shoes and i'm really happy to see people try to understand each other that way, just like, don't think that cuz you wore those shoes for 5 minutes mentally you're now an authority on shoe fashions

That's precisely what I was trying to say, sorry. You can probably imagine yourself in someone's shoes one time, dealing with one particular event, but you can't imagine what it's like dealing with the lifetime before that. It's the same policy I try to stick to when dealing/thinking about PoC-related issues.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2018 15:06

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

jit bull transpile posted:

People can try to empathize. They can't literally know our experiences, and quite frankly fear, danger, and alienation are a huge part of the queer experience that your average white cishet ally cannot possibly comprehend to the degree that we live with every day.

that�s a good articulation of what I meant to say.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2018 18:29

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

jit bull transpile posted:

Yeah, but I have an evil doubt demon that lives in my brain I'm fighting with

time to butt-smother the hell out of it IMO

# ¿ May 23, 2018 17:56

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

you just change the path reference and rename the dir manually AFAIK, provided you�re not an AD. if you are just log into a new machine to see what�s carried over and decide whether that�s enough. it�ll have your new name as user dir.

# ¿ May 26, 2018 07:50

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

ate all the Oreos posted:

i think "queer" works better and doesn't inadvertently exclude people or group them into "and the rest"

That's what my queer pals prefer so that's what I use.

# ¿ May 30, 2018 11:47

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

Lain Iwakura posted:

https://twitter.com/CBSNews/status/1001523674594381825

i'm not crying...

YOU'RE CRYING

# ¿ May 30, 2018 15:01

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

jit bull transpile posted:

I've used it, but I will say I'd probably not like the sound of it coming out of a non-queer's mouth. Would feel kind of mocky.

this is the reason I don�t use it although I love it TBH

# ¿ Jun 6, 2018 19:14

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

jit bull transpile posted:

So here's the critical thing with therapy (and this applies to any therapy, not just trans specific stuff):
YOU ARE PROBABLY NOT GOING TO CLICK WITH THE FIRST THERAPIST YOU TRY

Therapy is an intense, difficult, and long-running relationship. You are going to tell your therapist things you've probably never said out loud before. You may not have even formed a full coherent thought around them before. You definitely haven't told your bf/gf/so/partner. Compatibility with your therapist is even more critical than compatibility with a spouse imo. You should go into first appointments fully treating it like a first date, and if you don't gel then gtfo and move on to the next one.

For trans stuff bad first dates are really bad because you can end up with a TERF, you can end up with someone who'se just incompetent, or you can end up with someone who is actively sabotaging you. In my case, my first therapist was a bisexual man who had just gotten divorced and constantly attempted to "shock" me by saying "cock" over and over whenever I mentioned distress about my genitals. It took me 3 more therapists to find one that worked for me.

This is all extremely legit advice for anyone who's going to get therapy, trans or no.

# ¿ Jun 14, 2018 19:11

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

Captain Capacitor posted:

Also, on a more serious note...has anyone else Bi (and possibly Canadian) had to deal with the incorrigible shame? Like those feelings coming from someone dealing with a far more complex journey (especially in the states) I could understand but I never once experienced any homophobia in my family or, to my recollection, my social group growing up. Yet I am having so much trouble admitting and integrating the idea right now. I've been invited to LGBTQregex events at work (because MS loves regex people) and I feel...undeserving? Does that make sense?

It's ok to not be the one who has the absolute worst, and there will always be one. Be a good person. Help if you can. Bi peeps are sometimes easily dismissed but I can tell you the struggle just as real.

# ¿ Jun 20, 2018 19:33

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

Casual Encountess posted:

i'd love to find a queer street hockey league or something because I feel like that's way more my thing.

friendo have you heard of derby. it is a thing, and it is amazing.

# ¿ Jun 20, 2018 21:21

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

eschaton posted:

please be careful and check it out thoroughly beforehand, some derby leagues have very toxic people, structures, or both, and can vary greatly in their actual inclusivity regardless of what they state

I was very surprised by some of the vitriol I heard from some cis skaters about the existence of trans skaters and WFTDA�s demand they be accepted; hopefully this was far enough back that those people are long gone now and there�s nothing to worry about

if you do find a good league, go for it, it can be enormously fun even as a slow technical sport rather than a fast brutal one

yes the world still sucks. but on the other hands, all 3 teams I know people on have been great about my gay/trans friends (from what they tell me anyway). but I'm not in the US, so ya YMMV.

evil_bunnY fucked around with this message at 11:27 on Jun 21, 2018

# ¿ Jun 21, 2018 11:23

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

Zamujasa posted:

i'm wondering where the line between "~gatekeeping~" and flat out gaslighting is, if there even is a line

There's no line. If your shrink okays it (and they're licensed wherever you are) who the gently caress are they to turn it down.

# ¿ Jun 28, 2018 20:27

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

ate all the Oreos posted:

also idk if i mentioned it in this thread but her mom used to be really lovely towards her being trans, hated it, refused to acknowledge it in any way, etc. however in the last two years or so she's apparently done a lot of thinking and reflecting and pulled a total 180, apologized profusely saying stuff like "i let my ideas of how the world was supposed to work take priority over my own child's happiness and wellbeing and that's inexcusably horrible." now she's the kind, loving mother she should have been the whole time, introduces her as "my daughter" to acquaintances and calls out people who are lovely to her, and they've even gone out on a few fun mother-daughter clothes shopping trips. took her nearly 20 years to come around but she finally did and it's pretty wonderful

That sure beats my brother's father in law who only accepted his partner's queerness once he learned he had stage 4 cancer.

Our OTOH was a loving trooper and worked through her poo poo on her own time/dime and is actually good to him, and I loving love her for it.

# ¿ Jun 28, 2018 21:10

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

WrenP-Complete posted:

In positive news, I've been thinking about ways to carry stuff that doesn't load weight onto my collarbones/shoulders. Today I have been experimenting with hip bags with leg straps - like tool belts or in fallout/pubg - and I think I'm happy with this level of eccentric presentation. My collarbones are certainly happier.

I've used those before (for tools) and I don't understand how you can do *anything* with those tied to your legs. Hip/Lapbelt bags are perfectly fine (functionally anyway) but the legs strap means any walking at all is basically going to awkward at best.

# ¿ Jun 30, 2018 23:01

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

ynohtna posted:

I'd suggest using microporous surgical tape to keep patches on. please don't ruin your skin with nail polish!

this or tegaderm

# ¿ Jul 4, 2018 16:34

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

Silver Alicorn posted:

tag yourself omg

I'm 100% vanilla and do my best to support all flavors I guess!

# ¿ Jul 31, 2018 09:51

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 9, 2024 03:51

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

Tatrakrad posted:

It's not this place is it? http://www.electrology3000.com

Meanwhile, the laser place I go to decided that the 600bux I put down for 12 sessions doesn't count after session 8 and I need to pay another 600 for 3 more face laserings.

How does that even compute? Like the market can't be that huge (I assume, maybe wrongly), are they not afraid word of mouth will burn them in the medium/long term?

# ¿ Jul 31, 2018 14:48

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > yospos lgbtqia+ thread: gender is a fsck

«‹›3 »