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Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Splicer posted:

2017 was an international game of Paranoia. Or Fiasco.

What will 2018 be like?

FATAL :haw:

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Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Yawgmoth posted:

Beast: The Primordial.

I JUST SAID THAT

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Alien Rope Burn posted:

Sorry, I hate to correct so many people, but 2018 is the year Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance takes place.

We walk away thinking the bad guy had a point?

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Plutonis posted:

It's gonna be a miserable, boring year that will be miserable in boring ways

It turns out that years are arbitrary units of time imposed by humans, and there is no real difference between 2017 and 2018

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008
Are you guys talking about Gutter from the Union? Because uhhh when I read that, I finally realized that this was not the wacky Soccer themed Blood Bowl I came in for...

Guild Ball Season 1 posted:


I heard that she was a princess once, from one of the Sovereign States in the north, out Erskirad way. Then, as part of a raid, she gets captured by Blackheart, who intends to ransom her o ; thing is, northern nobles are even more ruthless than he is and a female heir is worth nothing really. So Blackheart never got his coin for this one. So he keeps her locked aboard his ship’s lower decks, barely feeds her, takes his fill of her every night for a month.

Then the damnedest thing happens. Crazy bitch decides she’s fallen in love with him. Totally broken down. Must be something snapped inside her head for that to happen. Maybe she wasn’t too sane to begin with.

Anyhow, old Blackheart is no fool. He knows how to exploit an opportunity when it comes his way. Makes her first mate. Who can you trust more than some batshit crazy bitch totally devoted to you? No one in a crew of cutthroat pirates certainly. He didn’t look after her though. Oh no, she was thrown to the wolves. Rough ride for the poor little princess, I heard she was raped a dozen times, near got herself killed learning the ropes. But each one of those men that abused her started turning up dead, one after another. And each time, her smile got that little bit more deranged, a little more like she was enjoying seeing the fear in the eyes of the crew. Before too long, they’re following her orders alright.

She’s the only one he took with him when he gave up the pirate life and she’s been with him ever since. I think she’s given up pursuing him, but that hasn’t stopped her butchering anyone that she thinks is a threat. She’s worse than most of the crew on his ship ever were now. Swings that mean-looking hook around with far too much intent for my liking, and that knife always tickles your throat if she takes you down, like she wants you to know that she could end you right there if she wanted. Keep her away from Harmony and the boss, she might not stop for a woman.

She even plays the game. Now that’s the real surprise. Gods only know what her warped mind understands about that. P’haps she’s just trying to get his attention, turning up without him on teams. Maybe she’s just following his orders. Could be something else, we’re both far too sensible to even begin to understand the woman.


I mean, even after that there's a lot of stuff that's either grim or just downright depressing. The team captain of the Butcher's Guild, for example, goes on a killing spree to get revenge for someone shanking his teammate, only to be left for dead by his number two. And in season two you get stuff like a team captain from season one basically getting tossed away like garbage because they were crippled in a match.

I mean, different strokes and the fluff is largely irrelevant to the game itself but I went in to the setting fluff expecting a hoot like soccer themed Wacky Racers and Blood Bowl's 'dark-elf assassin that was hired after he killed a player during a match, only to be passed the ball accidentally and fleeing all the way to a touchdown' but then I read the fluff and it was a downer! :saddowns:

Bedlamdan fucked around with this message at 20:37 on Jan 2, 2018

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

CaptCommy posted:

Yeah the fluff is super duper easy to ignore if you want. I do think they've done a better job with the writing as the game has gone on, but I also understand if the Gutter stuff still turns people away. The early stuff is definitely "my first grimdark"

Yeah, I think part of why I found Guildball less appealing for me was that I went in wanting and expecting Soccer Bloodbowl. Malifaux is over the top in edginess too, but I’m more willing to tolerate it because I already go in knowing it’s edgy. The Ressurectionists have Seamus, the bastard child of Jack the Ripper and the Mad Hatter, who ressurects the prostitutes he murders as his undead minions and is at a minimum implied to be a necrophiliac. But Malifaux isn’t vaguely similar to a different game that I have nostalgia for so I just shrug and make an Ortega crew. Because family values and violence are my jams.

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Nuns with Guns posted:

Don't you have some southerners to call "mongoloids that deserve to be murdered"?

He's right though.

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Nuns with Guns posted:

I welcome nuclear armageddon to the whole US. It's unfair to let the south have all the fun.

It should not stop at the US

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Andrast posted:

There’s also nothing about forgotten realms that prevents you from making good stories that take place there.

Mask of the betrayer is loving awesome and that’s forgotten realms.

You can still do more with better settings. Or at least, there's a lot of stories out there that can't be told well in Forgotten Realms.

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008
https://twitter.com/mikemearls/status/955153201434525696

Wise words from our friend Mike Mearls

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008
Personally, I'm fine with a better environment for women in tabletop gaming, and am glad that Mike Mearls and Wizards of the Coast have taken a stand to support it. I don't know why that's so controversial.

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Kai Tave posted:

I can't imagine being so desperate to post dumb poo poo like this that you'd repeatedly spend ten bucks to do so even after being told to gently caress off and go somewhere else.

It’s not dumb at all. Gatekeeping is a problem with a lot of media nerds enjoy.

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Plutonis posted:

I am sure Mike Mearls hasn't done any kind of sex

*nods wisely*

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Countblanc posted:

you can be mad ugly and not be a lovely person

Judging by Mearls’ appearance, the most I can reasonably suspect him of is Trisomy 21, given the relative shortness of his neck and small ears, but I would not jump to that conclusion without a karyotype or at least a detailed sociomedical history.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Waffleman_ posted:

Black Panther good as hell, y'all.

It was pretty bold of them to just up and kill off the hero at the end.

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Sion posted:

Star Trek Discovery is loving trashgarbobad.

It is the only Trek series that has ever starred a woman, or a person of color.

Sion posted:

Yeah but you're swinging for a low ball there.

There is some offensively awful poo poo in Discovery. From the idiot-plot (a plot that only works if everyone involved is an idiot), the loving warcrime committed in the second episode, the general loving visual ugliness of the entire production, the fact that we're told and never shown that the federation is apparently a lot of people doing good things, the Captain that straight up goes 'gently caress this seeking new life poo poo, I'm gonna explode this giant tardegrade to make my engine go faster,' to the total waste of the mirror universe plot line. Like- it is just offensively terrible, on an almost overwhelming degree.

These are the stories that must to be told, and in the Age of Trump idealism must be put aside for the greater good.

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

cheetah7071 posted:

I hope this is just a joke going over my head

Mr. Maltose posted:

Insomuch as bad posting can be called a joke, yes.

All I did was copy paste other people’s defenses of Discovery, so take it up with them! :ssh:

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008
As for me specifically, I don't know why anyone cares about Star Trek when Science Fiction has already been definitively solved by Warhammer 40,000

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

RocknRollaAyatollah posted:

My choler rises at such a thing.

With the way things are going, that's the vision of the future we're most likely to have. Now be quiet and let the Magos convert your skull into a toaster.

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Inescapable Duck posted:

Source your quotes

Here's the biggest example: https://www.gamesradar.com/star-tre...need-right-now/.

Which I think is an awful take because when Star Trek first aired the Vietnam War was ongoing and JFK was killed only a couple of years before, and everyone was terrified of mutual nuclear annihilation, which I'd have to think is significantly more traumatic than having a bad President in office.

The other bit was just paraphrased online slapfights with the basic premise of "you Star Trek fans are just calling Discovery poo poo because you're threatened by a woman of color as a protagonist."

I do mean it when I say that Warhammer 40,000 is better though, and not just because of all the pedophiles who happen to be Trekkies!

Star Trek posted:

Alien: "I WILL SKULL gently caress YOU"
A Federation Person: "Hrm, this tendency towards skullfucking is evidence of a primitive and savage culture. However, I will not presume to judge your violent impulses, as we are separated by both different environments and biologies. I will tolerate your skullfucking ways in accordance with the Prime Directive, in the hopes that together we may move together to a future where more skulls will go unfucked.

Warhammer 40K posted:

Alien: "I WILL SKULL gently caress YOU"
Imperial Guardsman: "NOT IF I SKULL gently caress YOU FIRST, XENO SCUM"

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Tuxedo Catfish posted:

following this thread's glowing recommendations i'm now watching Discovery. it's good.

That's basically how I live my life re: rpg recommendations, and it's been working out pretty great.

Arivia posted:

Tipping would lead to a bigger more complicated system than Phoenix Command. Way way too much man.

Just give everyone three dollars. Four is too much, and two is too little.

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

grassy gnoll posted:

You run into a basic problem with your Star Trek/Warhammer comparison, which is that I'm pretty sure you'd have just as many sex criminals in both circles, if being a Warham didn't preclude one from having sex.

Star Trek posted:

"Hrm, what if we reverse the ion polarity to the 6th degree, thereby reducing our quantum entanglement!" "Brilliant! By doing so, we can harmonize our carbon load and pull out of this gravitational flux!"

Warhammer 40,000 posted:

Just the lyrics to Amen and Attack by Powerwolf, on an infinite loop, at max volume

:colbert:

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

cheetah7071 posted:

oh I figured out your problem, you're watching Voyager instead of a good one

I watched maybe a dozen episodes of TNG and a couple of Voyager in my entire life

Plutonis posted:

The LoGH connoisseur is an enlightened volcel who has transcended the designs of Yaldabaoth and is studying the way to join Sophia.

I prefer Irresponsible Captain Tylor

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008
Oh I also checked out Wrath of Khan because Ricardo Montalban was funny in Freakazoid :3:

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

grassy gnoll posted:

You should have picked a selection from that ancient Warhams book where the marine lets loose a genetically-augmented fart in the other dude's face, and it goes on for a couple of paragraphs of description.

Star Trek posted:

Commander Data: Excuse me Captain, could you spend an entire episode explaining basic human concepts that you and the audience already take for granted, like love, or fart jokes?

Warhammer 40K posted:

Commander Data, like all the abominable Men of Iron, had been purged millennia ago. No longer shall his ilk be tolerated.

:awesomelon:

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

I appreciate that it depicts a diverse and healthy group of friends having a good time, like most 40K fans, in contrast the pack of psychopaths that play Warmachine/Hordes and are undoubtedly Alt-Right.

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Plutonis posted:

Are they addressing the power level stuff since one of the PCs is a Smurf?

He's a Raven Guard, not an Ultramarine :colbert:

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Nuns with Guns posted:

Do you keep making these weird political takes in the thread because you're really hoping some warham nerd will tear into you and you'll finally be able to climax?

When did I say anything bad about Warhams? Jesus christ.

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Nuns with Guns posted:

Sorry, I forgot Warmachines is a different mini thing.

Oh, okay. It happens.

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008
Anyway, is there any word on whether Wrath and Glory will allow for female Space Marines?

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Plutonis posted:

So loving what, why even give a poo poo about what Nazis like? They also love to drink milk, watch japanimation and play Paradox mapgames but I'm not getting rid of those from my life.

My goal in life is to have it written on my tombstone “only 63% like Hitler.” If I have to give up alcohol and sex in order to do this, then so be it.

Bedlamdan fucked around with this message at 21:00 on Feb 28, 2018

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008
The regimental standard articles are perfect for this: https://regimental-standard.com/2018/02/28/tech-heresies-of-the-tau-empire-drones/

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008
Just make Sisters of Battle Transhuman or at least give Sisters of Silence upgrades.

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008
It’s canon in one of the novels that Fabius Bile considers male only Space Marines to be pointlessly exclusionary, and his own attempts at creating transhumans deliberately avoid making gender a limiting factor

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008
:bang: drat it GW, just let me jerk off to your powerful space knights without feeling gay

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Xarbala posted:

And don't go pointing at internet fan porn either, because if it's not from GW it's not Official and that point you may as well be fapping to a recast from China

The best recasts are actually Russian. сука блять!

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

rumble in the bunghole posted:

guide to glorantha is too dense to really start with

Maybe you're too dense to start off with it :colbert:

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Kibner posted:

Guide to Glorantha.

Kibner posted:

It rules, even if it is basically an encyclopedia.

This guy gets it

Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

dwarf74 posted:

Looking at the blog it's basically "5e with houserules"

Because it's Paizo and of loving course it is.

Excellent. At last a D&D 5E without the toxicity of Zak Smith.

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Bedlamdan
Apr 25, 2008

Arivia posted:

It’s Pathfinder so expect at least two books a month, a big rulebook every few months, and as many support materials as your budget can take.

People don’t just use mega upload for all their gaming needs?

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