Reddit: A fiesta of problematic statements

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Reddit: A fiesta of problematic statements

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

- those dumb poems by that dumb user that are always the top comment

- puns

- reddit self references

- reddit

Ok thanks then

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 18:26

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 07:16

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Hell Yeah posted:

this thread but from 2004

c�mon

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 18:29

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

I like it when these bots appear on every thread then the poem guy turns up and all of Reddit makes the same joke at the same time

NOT!!!!!!!!!

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PCMR isn't just a subreddit, but a very large community, founded in 2011 that is ALSO on reddit. [Check them out](https://pcmasterrace.org/communities)!

Please read our [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/pcmasterrace/wiki/rules) and check our ["Why PC?" guide](https://pcmasterrace.org/guide) and [custom builds](https://www.reddit.com/r/pcmasterrace/wiki/builds)!

[Also check the folding@home joint effort where you can use your PC to fight against cancer and other diseases!](https://www.reddit.com/r/pcmasterrace/comments/5zkq9z/help_scientists_beat_cancer_and_other_

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 19:52

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Obeah posted:

In the spring of 2017, I was at a Reddit meetup in Seattle and had an opportunity to meet The Guy Who Does the Hydraulic Press Videos on Youtube. He was extremely charming and confident, freely passing around his phone so that we could all watch previews of his upcoming (and premium) web series.

As the night went on, we eventually found ourselves alone at a corner booth in a skeevy bar we had all gone out to drink at. I had told him about my own personal passion for using large devices to crush random, everyday objects and had also told him I was working to save towards buying my own hydraulic press. I mentioned that I had been trying to find someone to guide and instruct me in the operation of one but to no avail. I was new to the community and had not yet met many people who could or would help me.

To be honest, I was a little buzzed. I had been served one and a half Sex on the Beaches (both of which The Guy Who Does the Hydraulic Press Videos on Youtube had ordered for me - a red flag, I know) and in that state, I think he was able to pick up on just how lonely and vulnerable I truly was.

He offered to take me over to his hotel room and let me try out his portable hydraulic press prototype. I was initially hesitant but relented as he assured me that his safety procedures were impeccable and that it would be a relaxing, chill experience. I remember very specifically, he kept saying "Crushing makes you feel good" over and over. It was very persuasive.

When we arrived at his hotel room, he immediately began plying me with CBD gummies and green tea. It was nauseating and disorienting, but I accepted them so as not to seem rude.

His "portable hydraulic press" was nothing more than a hammer with silver duct tape around the handle and a couple of caution stickers. This is when I began to realize something wasn't right.

I remember him calibrating the "hydraulic press" using several large, wooden cubes. He kept calling them his "cubies". It makes me sick to even think about it.

He then set up a camera and retrieved several VHS copies of The Sweet Hereafter, which is a good enough film not necessarily worthy of crushing. I told him this. Several times. I also told him that I was currently into watching another YouTube channel's VHS obliteration videos and that this felt weird. He didn't care.

He crushed them while I watched. Half drunk. Half delirious with a cocktail of CBD oil and caffeine. I felt like I couldn't breathe, couldn't move. I have never been more afraid or disgusted in my life.

If a hotel employee hadn't arrived to investigate the noise, I don't know what else he may have crushed or what else may have happened between us. I took an uber, something I really didn't have the money for, back to my own hotel and wept.

Seeing a video of him crushing a Furby and a block of Lego bricks a couple of weeks later, I decided I could no longer stay silent. I posted about our encounter and was banned from one subreddit after another. r/seattle, r/videos, r/letsnotmeet... all toxic environments looking to quiet the violated.

Reddit is a garbage place full of garbage people.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 22:12

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Also why the gently caress is /r/adorableporn a thing

What a fuckin weird reaction to have to porn

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 22:14

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Lacey posted:

Oh wow that's a real sub.

I love their highly atomized porn categories. Why yes I want to watch a series of 20-second porn clips featuring only one specific position.

There�s one for like women wearing tight dresses where they�re silhouetted against a window or something so you can kinda see through the dress

For real

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 22:22

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

SpazmasterX posted:

It's some absurd acronym I forget, like When The Sun Shines Through Her Dress And You Can See Through It

So r/WTSSTHDAYCSTI

This thread is now about dumb porn subreddits

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 22:27

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

SpazmasterX posted:

Found it!

https://www.reddit.com/r/WtSSTaDaMiT/

You were weirdly close to the actual acronym

MALE SHOEGAZE posted:

i really would appreciate a porn discussion thread. not for jerking it too, but to honestly discuss all the weird incest porn that is now totally mainstream and stuff like that. also to post lol comments from porn videos and subreddits.

what�s with all these women posting nudes on reddit with their faces in the photos too? Surely the few seconds of attention you get from comments like �you have a wonderful smile and sparkling beautiful eyes also I�d love to eat your rear end and drink in your adorable pussy flavours� aren�t worth having your nudes floating around forever

think it through ladies :shrug:

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 22:43

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

SpazmasterX posted:

I'd seen it come through r/all ages ago and I always remembered the "when the sun shines through her dress" part cause I thought drat that's a hilariously specific subreddit

There�s another one that�s always in /r/all, tittydrop which I always thought was weird

Who is actually jerkin it to a few seconds of disembodied tits falling out a shirt

Just watch some incest themed gangbang / gagging porn like everyone else

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 22:55

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

i like that posted:

Everyday we stray further and further from God's light

I think god was secretly into fuckin

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 22:55

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Sid Vicious posted:

I like this sunshine one thanks fellas

U nasty

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 23:01

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Lacey posted:

Nice, here's the one I was referncing:
https://www.reddit.com/r/pronebone/

If I ever have sex with a woman and she even moves slightly from this position I will immediately stop all intercourse out of sheer disgust

what�s the point

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 23:05

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Just looked on /r/gonewild to see how long it would take to find someone commenting �I love your eyes� on a pic of a girl with her tits out

literally the first one I clicked. The first one

Lots of �I love your eyes / glasses� my man she�s showing her boobs to strangers online she�s not gonna swoon over your gentlemanly respectful comment and get on the first plane to your house and drain your balls

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 23:23

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Sid Vicious posted:

Nah we haven't lived in a basement in over a year

I think they mean the rear end in a top hat. Everything else is upstairs

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 23:24

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Sid Vicious posted:

Le Reddit Gold for you fine lady, I am enraptured by your beautiful baby blues

*posts pic of fist inserted into own rear end with a nerdbait title*

�M�lady I would love to woo you and discuss marvel movies while I stare into those beautiful windows into your soul, love your beautiful hair�

*posts pic with 2 fists in rear end and legs behind head*

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 23:32

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Blue Train posted:

They aren't? drat it

Sorry you had to find out this way

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 23:33

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Drive-Thru Salad Bar posted:

I hate the nards who post dumb photos thinking they're Ansel Adams with stupid themes

"Oh look 3 people of varying ages who look like the same person"

No they don't. They don't look similar at all. You discreetly took a photo of three random people at a Starbucks and without permission posted their faces up for thousands of people to see you seething giddy rear end in a top hat.

Another thing I fuckin hate about Reddit:

- here�s a totally boring normal photo with some dumb sob story attached

- here�s a photo of me when I was 4 and now here�s me doing a similar pose!!!

- here�s a picture of me being comically obese and here�s one where I�m less obese

Yeah that�s 3 things so what

# ¿ Apr 20, 2018 07:32

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Also I found the subreddits /r/autofellatio and /r/selffuck

some highlight thread titles:

�My cock keeps moving down between my legs when I self suck�

�My progress - so happy and proud�

�Just came in my rear end for the first time! My experience / thoughts�

�How to get balls into your own rear end?�

# ¿ Apr 20, 2018 07:39

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Triple post I know but drat:

some guy from Reddit who fucks his own rear end posted:

So I've heard about self loving for over a year now, and the thought of it has always turned me on since I love to gently caress my rear end with dildos. I've experimented in the past with self loving, but never had any luck! I was never able to push it in. So I gave up.

A few months pass up to now and I've still never cum from loving my rear end, and I've been trying for a while. Recently I discovered chastity cages, and decided to get one, put it on, and gave the keys to my girlfriend (with one emergency key at home). I really love jerking off, so with my cock locked up, there was no way I was doing that for a while. I had it on for a few days, and was really, really horny, so I shaved up, grabbed the enema, and started loving away with my dildos.

After about a half hour of doing that, I was somehow reminded of self loving, and remembered how badly I wanted to actually do it, so I said 'gently caress it', grabbed my key, unlocked my schlong (which was good cause it was already flaccid from no stimulation), and immediately sat on my tub edge with my cock behind me.

At this point, I was pretty well loose from all the dildo loving, and very lubed up, so I started getting myself hard from behind me.

So here I am, with my incredibly hard cock lined up with my rear end in a top hat, pressing so hard trying to get it in and trying not to have my fingers slip from the lube and accidentally scratch my dick with my fingernails (be careful with that btw, I did it in a previous attempt. sucks.)

No luck so far, so I thought it would be a good idea to put my hand under my cock from the front, and put my body weight on top to have precise pressure for penis insertion.
This was a great idea, but it took me a bit to find a good position for my balls because I kept almost crushing them.

I thought maybe I wasn't loose enough? So I stuck a few fingers in, and that definitely wasn't the case. Back at it.
Went back to trying to push the head in. I kept getting it inside little by little but not complete insertion, until about a minute later.. my entire head the slipped in! Like, my penis was actually in my rear end in a top hat. Holy poo poo.

So my heart is racing, mind is numb, not sure what I'm doing, and I'm kinda scared my dick will fall out and I won't be able to get it back in.
I start to rock back and forth. This was a great idea, and felt super good.

Unfortunately, I came in about 5-10 seconds, and it took me about 3 hours to get to this point (in total, from it enema, dildo loving, to this). But, I am extremely lucky to have even cum. I'm not entirely sure if semen actually came out of the tip, cause there was so much lube everywhere, but I definitely came!

So, in conclusion, I really enjoyed the experience. It went by so fast I don't really remember the loving itself, just that it felt pretty dang good.

I'm no pro, but if I could offer a tip to anyone struggling to gently caress their rear end, I'd say this:

- MAKE SURE YOURE LOOSE!!!

I'm seriously positive that this was my problem in the past. If you're not loose enough, it will never go in. And I'm talking loose enough for 3+ fingers with no problem getting them in there.

TLDR; hosed my rear end with my dick, felt great for about 5 seconds, came, not sure if cum came out. Hell yeah.

Edit: I'm gonna keep doing this and hopefully get better at it, and potentially take some pics.

Well I know what I�m doing tonight

# ¿ Apr 20, 2018 07:42

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Vargs posted:

are you sure these aren't gbs threads?

# ¿ Apr 20, 2018 07:48

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Vargs posted:

every now and then I see posts from r/INEEEEDIT or whatever and it makes me wonder what percentage of the people there are advertising bots, and what percentage are the worst human beings on planet earth. it's some kind of nightmarish consumerist dystopia straight out of a black mirror episode that was cut for being too over-the-top. the experience never fails to bring me one step closer to understanding the minds of islamic radicals who want to burn our society to the ground

i guess you could describe me as an �influencer� and reddit as being my office and furthermore,

# ¿ Apr 20, 2018 08:33

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Fartbox posted:

Reddit sucks donkey poo poo for discussion. It's literally just youtube comments for fucks sake

Reddit is good for gifs and funny pictures, that's it

But what about those hilarious reddit gimmick accounts that do a poem or draw a dumb picture some are called PM ME UR BOOBS lmao

# ¿ Apr 20, 2018 11:23

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

pop fly to McGillicutty posted:

Guys, I think us mocking Reddit is the reason so many Trump chuds are here now.

Post reddit weird porn sub thread / comments highlights ITT from now on

# ¿ Apr 20, 2018 13:28

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Bonzo posted:

Why hell did r/randomactsofpizza get locked?

I�m assuming /r/randomactsofblowjob still exists for desperate reddit dudes to try and get their dicks sucked?

# ¿ Apr 20, 2018 16:39

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

ElGroucho posted:

Person 1: "Man, that's one long rear end cat!"

Person 2: "Oh wow, I didn't know cats haaaad asses! "

*70 reply tangent thread with puns, m'ladies, and bad jokes

Try and find a thread on Reddit that isn�t 90% the same repeated pop culture reference or a stupid reddit joke that everyone on there does RELENTLESSLY

See: �I�m not your buddy guy / ah the ol reddit switcharoo / broken arms mom / comparing anything to a video game�

# ¿ Apr 20, 2018 16:41

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Blue Train posted:

Wait it's not for sucking dick? poo poo I've been doing it wrong this whole time

Maybe you�re just keeping the sub alive still :shrug:

# ¿ Apr 20, 2018 16:42

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Capri Sun Tzu posted:

If you're upset about dumb things like reddit then maybe I should come to your house and kick your rear end a little bit

listen here I stand up to cyber bullies like u

# ¿ Apr 20, 2018 16:43

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Basch lives! posted:

Not for submitting comments. It's 6 minutes for submitting new threads.

The current trend is answering "Yes" to an either/or type of question. Thousands upon thousands of upvotes and pm offers for sex when you do that.

Ha ha because they offer several options expecting only one to be chosen but replying yes implies they are in fact saying all the options presented are applicable even though this was not in the inferred rules of the question! what a hilarious joke that I would like to see repeated many many times

# ¿ Apr 20, 2018 23:14

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Can we just post really �reddit� quotes from reddit posts itt now like this:

End of Shoelace posted:

when you go to r/gaming, and find a post titled SPEAKS FOR ITSELF I THINK!! with an image macro thats like "my mother and father taught me the basics. video games taught me how to live"

# ¿ Apr 21, 2018 08:07

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

yeah I eat rear end posted:

Because he's a greasy shut-in academic who spent his entire life obsessing over unrequited love. It's the backstory to basically every incel there is.

Trent reznor was great in those movies tho

# ¿ Apr 21, 2018 14:34

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Hector Beerlioz posted:

im posting on reddit about how i hate something awful forums

I�m not ur buddy guy lmao

# ¿ Apr 21, 2018 19:34

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Hector Beerlioz posted:

i posted gbs but from 2004 sucks dick and got l got like 200 reddit gold and lots if lulz

Wtf I hope the poem guy turned up and wrote a dumb poem then got a million Reddit gold and then everyone referenced rick and morty and video games lmao

Jk that�s actually really hurtful Hector Beerlioz

MALE SHOEGAZE posted:

i dont recall exactly what 2004 gbs was like but i bet it involved lots of fiestacats and golden manbabies

Well my kind goon sir there was golden manbabies and happycat and maybe p p p PowerBook and these shoes do not fit I am a dog and dr thodt�s pink flyers and GBS morality police and

# ¿ Apr 21, 2018 22:17

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Ein cooler Typ posted:

James was a bigger rear end in a top hat than Snape. Lily only liked him because he was physically attractive and good at sports.

Which actress ended up doing porn after for some reason

# ¿ Apr 21, 2018 22:31

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Sid Vicious posted:

There's a Russian erotic model who looks alot like Luna Lovegood

You mean she didn�t do porn for real?

# ¿ Apr 21, 2018 22:55

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Gobblecoque posted:

I like when someone posts on reddit asking for help with something and then instead of trying to help that guy you just get 500 retards tripping over themselves to make puns and quote monty python

Edit: thank you kind stranger for the Reddit gold!

Edit 2: wow thanks guys this blew up! I didn�t expect this many upvotes!

Edit 3: you guys are the best, thanks so much for donating $10000 to me because I posted a thread about not being able to afford a Nintendo switch instead of consistently donating to people who actually need help

Edit 4: thanks for more reddit gold kind strangers! This is why I love reddit!

Edit 5: id just like to thank my parents, god, and /r/adorableporn. We did it reddit

# ¿ Apr 22, 2018 09:18

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Hector Beerlioz posted:

good, that was the whole point. to be hurtful.

Ur a bad boi :smith:

Also:

Marlboro for Cats posted:

sometimes I accidentally click on r/funny and then I reflexively start dry-clicking my revolver in my mouth

# ¿ Apr 22, 2018 09:22

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

The Big Word posted:

Like five years ago or whenever it was that they were pressured into cracking down on creepy underage poo poo a fun thing to do was to find tech industry men on twitter with significant follower counts talking about something they saw on reddit and reply to them with "weird, I saw on the news that "reddit" is a child porn site, why are you looking at it? [link to reddit pedo crackdown news article]" and usually they'd just block me but a lot of the time they'd delete their tweets too

Fuckin lol. I wonder what poo poo is on there now that�s sketchy as gently caress (apart from all the neo nazis inciting racial violence but no one cares about that obvz)

# ¿ Apr 22, 2018 17:40

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

This might be one of the most reddit comments I�ve ever read

quote:

My parents have 50-60 people over for Bon fire parties. Music, food, moonshine and burning unwanted tax papers and furniture. Never had an incident. Sometimes I'll even break out the forge and teach people some basic blacksmithing techniques and be entertained watching them try.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2018 20:55

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 22, 2024 07:16

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Stale Saltines posted:

Edit: downvotes? really??

# ¿ Apr 22, 2018 22:44

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Reddit: A fiesta of problematic statements

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