[Book] Name of Goods: The Book of C-SPAM

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Book] Name of Goods: The Book of C-SPAM

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

twoday posted:

That last one is painted over another painting (that is a copy of a painting by a famous artist that was made by an unknown art student) that was made in the 1890s

read that and immediately started reciting EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. IT�S CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, RIDDICK. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME NECRO BASTARDS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE GALAXYS MOST DANGEROUS PRISON. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNIng

# ¿ Sep 8, 2018 01:37

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 16:10

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

an actual dog posted:

the failing new york times
the failing new york times
hi-ho, a derry-o
the failing new york times

please include this seminal c-spam post, op

# ¿ Sep 8, 2018 01:43

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

twoday posted:

Link it

Also, there are no page numbers so I can rearrange poo poo at will. If you look at the gif in the OP you can see that I wrote the book of baloogan in the wrong order

nothing cvould be more true to its source

# ¿ Sep 8, 2018 05:14

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

much should be written about the terrible and unearthly O R B

quote:

Riyadh- Controversy erupted amid the White House Press Corps today as White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer denied reports that President Donald Trump touched the dreadful Orb to gain its power.

�This is ridiculous. Donald Trump pledged to the American people that he would resist the beguiling siren song of the Orb, and he has done so. This is yet another distraction by the failed Democratic party trying to block President Trump�s Make America Great Again agenda.�

Hours later, President Trump tweeted �Yes- I touched the Orb. Obama wouldn�t listen to the song of the Orb. Big mistake! Insulted allies and the Orb!� When asked for comment, Spicer said �I think the President�s tweet speaks for itself.�

Op-ed, NYT: Once Again, President Trump Crosses a Red Line
�have we forgotten the lessons of the past so easily? Yes, the Orb�s melody is alluring and seductive, but the power it grants corrupts body and mind. Who can forget Dwight Eisenhower�s famous farewell speech, in which he warned of �the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the Orb?� We cannot know the Orb�s true intentions for mankind, but it is all too easy to imagine that they are hostile and alien.
We say to Donald Trump: reject the politics of division! Reject hatred! And reject the Orb, for though its lambent glow soothes the mind, the terrible power that crackles across its surface will bring you no peace.

Op-ed, WSJ: Liberal Critics Overstate the Dangers of the Orb
�yes, we know the Orb may not have our best interests at heart, but we should trust the Orb to act rationally. It is in the best interests of the Orb, now that Donald Trump has been suffused with its vast might, to work for America, not against it. If we cannot trust the President of the United States to safeguard the might of the Orb, then who can we trust? An Orb Working Group, its members drawn from the elite across fields, will be able to strategize the best way to harness the Orb�s awful might and transform our society just as it has transformed Donald Trump�s living flesh into bitter, cold darkness.

Tweet, RealDonaldTrump account:
Haters and losers say that Orb cannot be trusted. I have absorbed Orb and will carry it within my soul! #MAGA!

8.2k replies 7.4k retweets 45k likes

posts from r/the_donald, thread entitled �INCREDIBLE: he touches the Orb! CUCKS BTFO!!!�
MAGA_MAN_X

fellow pedes i can�t believe he�s done it again!

volkisch1487

cucked skeletons at my school cant stop cryin about this, rofl

trumpinTN12

This is really Presidential. This is a breath of fresh air after 8 years of 0bungler.

Rachel Maddow, 6/27/17 broadcast (partial transcript)
�and his skin, it�s turned midnight black. I think I see rainbows moving across it, like an oil slick in sunlight. But just so you know, the White House is denying all of it. They�re denying that he�s taken on the Orb�s power, they�re denying that he�s grown to twelve feet tall, they�re denying that anything happened at all. Lightning struck the White House 452 times last night, according to meteorologists. This is not normal.

Tweet, LouiseMensch account
Sources have revealed to me that #orb was planted by #Russia, #Putin. Supreme Court preparing Articles of Exorcism as I write.

12 replies 180 retweets 100 likes

#Neverorb, Erick Erickson, Redstate.com
�the Republican Party used to stand for something greater than the pulsing Orb and its horrible keening drone. I remember that, even if the bootlickers in Congress don�t. The Orb has no regard for human life, not even the life of the unborn. Hey, Paul Ryan � why does your budget allocate $0 to faith-based family centers that offer alternatives to abortion, but $800 billion to a massive basalt monolith in the middle of Washington DC?

Sean Hannity show, 7/12/17
HANNITY: These liberals, they fear the Orb. They�re afraid of it.
GINGRICH: You know, it�s sad, it really is, because the Orb wants what�s best for America, for all of us, and-
HANNITY: Exactly! The Orb loves us! The Orb-
[crosstalk]
GINGRICH: It�s like I said in 1994, the American People don�t want big government. They want a vast, glowing Orb that swells up to block out the sun.

Bernie Sanders, speech, 8/16/17
�and I don�t think it�s right that President Trump now walks around outside for days at a time, plants wilting wherever he plants his massive feet. I don�t think it�s right that our President, a billionaire, gets to be twenty feet tall and exude an oily darkness while the regular, hard-working people of this country slave away for long hours for a minimum wage that�s not enough to feed a family. I don�t think it�s right that every night the pool at the foot of the massive basalt altar in DC � paid for with tax money, yours and mine � must be filled with sacrifices of blood, hair and teeth. Not when millionaires and billionaires pay less tax than at any time in the last century.

Barack Obama, GQ interview, 9/2/17
�I don�t want to sound overly critical. But when I was President, I didn�t touch the Orb, for a very good reason. And, you know, I wanted to. I could have easily. I heard it singing to me in my dreams, a song that melted away like morning dew when I awoke. And I could have� (he loses focus for a moment)
I could have touched it. But I didn�t. And I think that was the right choice for the American people, and when you look at the boiling cloud of gnats that used to be our President, I think you�ll agree with me.

Headline, Washington Post
CROP FAILURES ACROSS MIDWEST

Life Force Drained to Feed Orb�s �Endless, Terrible Hunger.�

Blog Post, fivethirtyeight.com
The Disappearance of the Upper Midwest in a Vortex of Madness Could Doom Trump�s Re-Election Chances

From �The Orbs of Our Fathers,� an essay by Ta-Nehisi Coates in The Atlantic
�I knew from the moment I saw it what the Orb was. I knew what it represented, even when others chose not to see. The Orb is America. The Orb is white supremacy, hatred and disregard, the disregard that communities of color face every day. The Orb is Donald Trump, and Donald Trump is the Orb. His body has evaporated, but we see him now reflected in puddles of oily rain, on our television screens, in our dreams. He is screaming, only screaming. That scream is the hate-cry of white supremacy, the message that never leaves us.

Why is the President Screaming: a special report by CBS News
JOHN DICKERSON: Experts say that that the power of the Orb may have consumed President Trump and now feeds on his soul. What does this mean for us as a Nation? Was it a mistake to touch the Orb?

REINCE PRIEBUS: No, John, not at all. These reports are yet more distractions from the liberal media. The President is deep in contemplation of the Orb�s mysteries. That�s why he isn�t seen outside these days.

JOHN DICKERSON: Do you have an explanation for why every reflective surface on Earth shows the President�s screaming visage at precisely 4:22 PM each day? Or why the great black Monolith of the Mall has cracked right down its face?

REINCE PRIEBUS: Listen, if you want to sit there and criticize every little thing the President does, you have that right. I can�t stop you. But frankly, it�s counterproductive, and it�s a little sad when the President�s agenda has been such a success. I mean, the crops are growing again, they�re-

JOHN DICKERSON: The farmers are saying that the crops are twisted and swollen with unholy power. They�re inedible. They�re useless.

REINCE PRIEBUS: We�re growing for export. We knew there would be resistance when we set out to make America great again, there will be hiccups, but�

Inaugural Statement from Mike Pence
�and in the weeks and months to come, we know there will be questions. Where is President Donald Trump? Why do we still hear him screaming, faintly, at the edge of our hearing? What has become of the baneful Orb that hung low in the sky like a second sun? My fellow Americans, I do not have all the answers for you. This should be a time for healing, a time for people of all faiths to come together and bow their heads in thankfulness that the Orb�s awful designs have been averted. I never expected or wanted this, but I solemnly swear to do my duty as your President, to heal a wounded nation, and to stand strong against the alien menace of the Orb wherever it threatens. I pledge that I will never touch the Orb or any other item of cosmic, unknowable power.

Alex Jones show, 11/25/17
�and he�s heading to Beijing next week for a summit. Can you believe that? We all know that they�ve recently unearthed a gleaming cube of alien metal from the ruins below Xi�an. What is the President hiding? Why won�t he tell us whether he plans to touch the Cube?

# ¿ Sep 13, 2018 23:24

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

twoday posted:

Maybe I will have to include random jpgs, otherwise this book will literally take years to complete

which drugs should we send to accelerate this process? ive heard good things about absinthe for this sort of thing

# ¿ Jan 5, 2019 21:11

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

i dont have pms but i would buy a trpm[ print

# ¿ Feb 2, 2019 06:33

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

because it is five times nine, twodays favorite numbers

# ¿ Feb 2, 2019 07:39

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

twoday posted:

Are you on discord

i dont know how to do tjis

# ¿ Feb 4, 2019 20:49

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

crazy cloud posted:

simulation theory is real hth

god is real idiot

# ¿ May 9, 2019 05:46

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

Spergin Morlock posted:

and that god is piss tape

when God created the universe, He fixed but one thing, and that thing, is the Piss Tape, which waits only for the day of Revelation

# ¿ May 9, 2019 06:03

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

for when you absolutely must get whatever it is off of your hands

and maybe a lil bit of cancer to go with

# ¿ Jun 4, 2019 23:59

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

some stuff came yesterday, looking forward to many good memories (of sailor)

# ¿ Sep 13, 2019 15:17

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

very slow day at work so instead of finding something to do i used our state of the art laboratory inkjet printer to draw teynp

watching his face slowly emerge, drop by drop, was a mystical experience

# ¿ Sep 13, 2019 22:52

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

twoday posted:

is that a beach towel or did you buy a tote bag and a doll-sized shirt?

Yeah, spending hours carving that block and then using it was like witchcraft. Taking inanimate objects and transforming them into countless trimps and tremos, dozens of those prints which gradually started filling up every bit of space around my desk was a hell of a thing. Imagine having 50 of those fuckers surrounding you, still moist

its a beach towel. i may also get to print trumo in a tremendous orange color the next time all the scientists go home early, which is a frequent occurrance

from the oldest printing technology to the newest, there is only TURNP

# ¿ Sep 14, 2019 00:57

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

twoday posted:

Can you tell me more about this printer and what you're printing it on, I'm a bit confused

http://www.microfab.com/complete-systems/jetlab-larger-area

the lab i work at develops paint that can be printed, for putting on cars and also anything else that needs coating. but mostly we do this on metal panels that have been electrophoretically coated. this particular printer ejects individual droplets out of a nozzle, 100 microns wide, onto whatever you place beneath it. other people use this technology for much more interesting things, like dispensing cells or drugs, but they cant put trmppi;s face on things

although i suppose in theory you could prepare a substrate such that you could grow a bacterial culture in the shape of torou;. it wouldnt even be hard.

# ¿ Sep 14, 2019 05:02

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

it's a 4x6 inch aluminum panel that was e-coated and then sprayed with a white monocoat. im unclear on why all the panels have holes but i imagine it is for some reason. we also have steel panels and glass plates that would fit on the stage, but i could put other things there if i adjusted the z axis height (very easy)

i can specify arbitrary patterns through various lines and arcs but the easiest way to do it is to just feed it a 1 bit .bmp file and tell it to get to work

e: i could make a larger version if i scanned in the dorbald trink print you sent me instead of using a cropped, hastily edited photo from this thread. i think the stage is at least 2 feet wide in total

fabergay egg has issued a correction as of 15:23 on Sep 14, 2019

# ¿ Sep 14, 2019 15:18

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

twoday posted:

If it can print in microns, does that mean that you could print, for instance, an entire book on something the size of a grain of rice?

the smallest nozzle we have is 30 microns which would create a droplet of like 25-40 microns, but if they gave me more time to play around with alternate waveforms i could theoretically drop that down to 15-20* microns using the purdue waveforms they talk about there. unfortunately at very small nozzle diameters the maximum viscosity your printing fluid can have becomes even lower than normal*, so while they will make custom nozzles if you want them to, getting much smaller than 30 microns is going to limit what you can jet further than the already very limited space with normal nozzles.

home inkjet printers have nozzles on the order of 10 microns, and if the purdue waveform works at that size you could potentially get drops as small as 5 microns. a grain of rice is what, 2000 microns wide? you could probably get a childrens book on a grain of rice like that. maybe more, im not doing the math

*you can, if you want, play around with the physical characteristics of fluids on this nerds website if things like "ohnesorge number" mean anything to you.

# ¿ Sep 14, 2019 18:03

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

the droplet size determines the pixel size, so assuming i could get everything to work with the 30 micron nozzle, then that makes an image with a 30 micron pixel size. the version i used was like 800x600 pixels or something like that, i dont remember. i think 200x200 pixels could fit it though, but im not sure how detailed that would end up being. if i could make one of the purdue waveforms work, assuming i couldnt get below 20 microns per dot, then you're looking at 2mm per hundred pixels.

so while i could not print a book on a grain of rice, i could, with a reasonable amount of work, print a low res version of trump's face on one

# ¿ Sep 14, 2019 20:26

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

Lightning Knight posted:

paying 200 dollars for a meme book to own my life

# ¿ Aug 27, 2020 01:22

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

Dustcat posted:

this is an amazing ratio of dollars per backer and shows imho first and foremost that the average cspam poster greatly values artifacts bound in the treated hides of fellow mammals even though the information content is no different from that of a paper edition

cspam posters know an object of power when they see one. for a mammal to die for your artifacts creation gives it great mystical presence.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2020 07:25

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

Admiral Ray posted:

I have no idea. I think if you traded art with him he'd do it, though. He likes art that makes the horror of reality known. Or, at least, he likes making it.

trading art is probably your best bet. come at it as a gift and you might end up having it spread around, leading the entire project hopelessly out of bounds and forever postponing our hand bound trujilmpl books

# ¿ Sep 4, 2020 00:02

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

2DCAT posted:

I think this memorable battle needs to be in the book

TRUD

# ¿ Sep 7, 2020 07:42

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

just use the TEUMM NO P script, bing bing bong, so simple!

# ¿ Oct 4, 2020 17:25

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

Flavius Aetass posted:

twoday already came up with a trpm alphabet and everyone forgot lol

sorry, i only remember sailor

# ¿ Oct 4, 2020 18:02

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

such is its power that the very forces of nature conspire to deny us the Book. trumno be with you twoday.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2021 02:01

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

twoday posted:

Barely! I had covid, and various other health problems

it is clear that this book is a deeply cursed object, and i can't wait to receive it

# ¿ Feb 22, 2022 19:27

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

book? BOOK!

# ¿ Apr 14, 2022 04:10

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

everything means book, and book means everything

# ¿ Apr 21, 2022 14:52

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

Sherbert Hoover posted:

# ¿ Jun 23, 2022 19:01

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

book has come. book is good. we love book, dont we folks?

# ¿ Aug 4, 2022 06:16

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

the lesson is to avoid germany, and germans, at all costs

deutschland: not even once

# ¿ Aug 9, 2022 19:55

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

what, did he pay extra for the ants? where the gently caress are my ants!!!!!

# ¿ Aug 14, 2022 04:18

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

Consummate Professional posted:

well it�ll either awaken that or the posters spirit. which is probably the same thing

one precedes the other

# ¿ Oct 28, 2022 02:53

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 16:10

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

ye who hath not seen the glory of Book� couldn�t be me

# ¿ Nov 27, 2022 07:07

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Book] Name of Goods: The Book of C-SPAM