DryGoods posted:

who's the shadow president of cspam then?

Captain_Maclaine posted:

I think Joe had the best line about his defeat, it went something like "hm I treated the entire election with contempt, made no effort to win, openly sneered at the electorate, and then lost. I blame Russia."

An Apple A Gay posted:

B o o k
O f
S E S H

twoday posted:

I have begun work on the alchemical section

I will try to use more of the imagery posted. If you have some esoteric semi mystical text, that would be handy.

Anything like this especially:

The Snoo posted:

op I love what you're doing, keep it up

e: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3810864&pagenumber=3315&perpage=40#post470814257

twoday posted:

This work is based upon Albrecht Durer's woodcut "Saint John Devouring the Book of the Apocalypse" and depicts Cesar Sayoc (the Magabomber) receiving personal instructions from Trump to make America great again in the form of a messaianic vision. Trump appears to Sayoc in the sky as a deific being made of light, straddling both water and land, standing upon legs made of pipe bombs, and pointing Sayoc towards an even brighter light, conveying unto him the message that would come to guide his actions: "Kanye Kanye Kanye Truml Trump Trump yea". A lone alligator sets the scene in the swamps of Southern Florida, whence a darkened path leads from Sayoc towards the ominous looming vision of New York, the home of Trump's sworn enemies at CNN.

DMCrimson posted:

This is incredible, I'm buying a copy the second it's released.

If you're still thinking of ideas, there's a nice intersection with the medieval astrology or tarot card format and how goons, Nate Silver, and poll aggregators all tried to predict the future with any available method.

twoday posted:

Will do the text later:

"You know, the windmills, boom, boom, boom, bing, that’s the end of that one. If the birds don’t kill it first. The birds could kill it first. They kill so many birds. You look underneath some of those windmills, it’s like a killing field, the birds. But you know, that’s what they were going to, they were going to windmills. And you know, don’t worry about when the wind doesn’t blow, I said, what happens when the wind doesn’t blow? Well, then we have a problem. They were putting them in areas where they didn’t have much wind, too. And it’s a subs. You need subsidy for windmills. You need subsidy. Who wants to have energy where you need subsidy? So, uh, the coal is doing great.”

Tubgoat posted:

You are loving awesome, that looks goddamn amazing.

I like the scroll idea.

Uranium posted:

Uranium posted:

congrats on ur mystical experience op

twoday posted:

lol that this happened exactly when I posted this

Tainen posted:

we got at least 6 more years of trump! so what’s the rush?

twoday posted:

Turns out woodcarving is a bitch

1994 Toyota Celica posted:

might have to revise my baloogan stance if that mead's any good

Mayor Dave posted:

That is the Tory stance tho???

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

yeah but if he was a Tory he would be called Baloougan

Bilirubin posted:

Intentional or no, this entire project is some goddamned excellent performance art and the dead letter postie is the best possible postscript

Duscat posted:

i guess i should post here too, check out these four big chungi that arrived today



i'm having trouble finding a space on the office walls for this quadriptych, probs gonna have to move some stuff around, but they're going up one way or another

gonna get some fine walmart quality frames for them unless the goodwill store miraculously has a matching set of four

twoday posted:

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

So Im out in my yard working on some poo poo and my mailman comes up with an envelope laughing and I'm like what's so funny dude and he's like here's your mail H.G. Burrito.

Peanut President posted:

500 foot tall monstrosity beyond words: y̧ou p͜lante̵d ͜yo̶u͘r̕ ̶seèds t͡o̵o͢ deep ̷a̶n҉d thęy ̕go̶t͘ bur̵i͞e͝d, ͘t͘ha̧t'̴s̷ why͏ ́th̛ey did͘n̷'̷t c͢o̵m͝e̡ ͞up
̢it̷'̶s ̀a͞ ̸c͞o͢m̛m͘on ́mis̵t҉ak̛e wit̷h ̶so͝m͏ę s̢e͡eds͜ l̨ik̛e ̸c͢a̡r̛ro̵t̛s,͝ ͏yơu͝'͡ll ̢g̶e̶t̡ ̡i͜t͜ n͜e̸xţ t҉i̵m̴e p̧al
me with blood pouring out of my eyes as I tear my skin off: "ah gotcha"

UFOTacoMan posted:

really trmjklping the trmupvelope here

Poniard posted:

everyone who wants a copy of the book of c-spam should instead build a component of a printing press and send it to twoday

Mayor Dave posted:

Aha holy poo poo PISS

twoday posted:

also lmao that this joke post is now an actual thing that happened

crazy cloud posted:

the story about brezhnev or whoever the fuCUK coming to a grocery store and being bewildered by the 1000 different kinds of loving toothpaste but it's the app store and it's 1000 places to look at vines of puppies farting into the mouths of like the host of blues clues or some poo poo

crazy cloud posted:

twoday HORSEGAZEBO this post up later for the book of cspam - it's [book of equanimity koan 1 but manjusri's comment is just a deafening TRUMO;LLP;]

crazy cloud posted:

donald j trump is the 45th president of the united states, and christ consciousness pervades all things without exception since beginingless time

crazy cloud posted:

i feel so good right now and in the trump thread i am home. idiocracy is a documentary and the piss tape is real and the neo nazi reactionary movement now is the crest of the wave that began in resistence to the 60s and 70s racial justice and womens liberation movement. i am slamming my head into a car door of love and blasting vibrant emerald green heart chakra capital under management excrement in every direction throughout space and time, which does not exist. it is wednesday. good morning.

crazy cloud posted:

my posting is now "back to normal" and u can rest assured that i am a responsible adult orb of sentient argon gas, "posting responsibly"

crazy cloud posted:

brogurt activia diarrhea boot blast

crazy cloud posted:

ok i reread this and maybe am still high

twoday posted:

twoday posted:

Here are some interesting details about the history of printing. Please note that I do not say this out of nationalistic fervor, which I do not have, but because I want to explain what this object is and how it ended up in my possession.

The printing press was invented in 1439 by Johannes Gutenburg, in Germany, and it was quickly used to print a version of the bible not in Latin, but in German, which was pretty revolutionary at the time. In 1519, Martin Luther started the protestant reformation, and the protestants made great use of the printing press to create pamphlets that were circulated throughout Europe. This led to the Protestant Reformation and several wars, which, according to Voltaire, were responsible for the deaths of more than 9 million people (keep in mind that the population of Europe was much smaller back then).

In most countries, the printing press was rightly feared as a powerfully destructive weapon capable of quickly spreading radical and dangerous ideas and turning society on its head, so strict controls were placed on its use. That is, in most countries strict controls were placed on its use, and in most European countries, strict systems of censorship were enacted. Owning a printing press was forbidden in most parts of Europe in the 17th century, and the ones that did exist were massive and complex affairs that involved teams of people to operate, and what they were printing was closely monitored by religious and/or political authorities.

One exception to this rule was the Dutch Republic. The Dutch, being protestant, were great fans of the printing press, because the Protestant Reformation shaped their culture and ultimately played a great role in them gaining their independence from Catholic Spain. Quite unique for the time, rather than establishing their own monarchy, they set up a republican system of government. In practice it was pretty much a capitalist oligarchy, and one could argue that form of government emerged to be the predominant model of governance in the west in the post-medieval era, and still is today. Being protestant and republican, the system of government in the Dutch Republic was remarkably different from most of Europe, which manifested itself in many ways. One of these was a relative freedom of the press. Having no monarch to insult reduced a lot of the pressure for censorship. Many European writers and philosophers, including the above-mentioned Voltaire, fled to the Netherlands in the 17th century because it was one of the only places in western society were they were allowed to publish their ideas without being persecuted by authorities.

Freedom of the press enabled a massive exchange of ideas in the 17th century Dutch Republic, and quickly enabled massive developments in various fields of science, philosophy, theology, etc. These developments, coupled with a powerhouse economy fueled by advanced knowledge of seafaring and systematic colonial exploitation, led to the Dutch Republic becoming a global superpower. Printing played an essential role in the developments of all these fields, and the number of Dutch printers at this time was tremendous in comparison to other countries. Because the printing industry was uncensored and unregulated, uniquely smaller types of printing presses were developed. Whereas in other countries being a printer meant being involved in a complex hierarchy of authorities and censors, in the Dutch Republic printing was often something that people would do as a side gig in their free time, making small runs of pamphlets that were distributed within specific communities. Of course there were large-scale printing presses that involved entire teams of people, that mass-produced books and newspapers. But there also emerged a cottage industry based around tiny printing presses which could be operated by a single person, and this was the result of decades of social change which allowed this to be possible.

In 1672 the Dutch Republic was simultaneously invaded by England, France, and some parts of Germany. At the same time there was a civil war in the country between monarchists and republicans. As a result the leader of the Republic was hanged, skinned, and cannibalized by a rioting monarchist mob. The Golden Age was over, the economy was destroyed, and the country wouldn't recover for centuries. Although cities like Amsterdam remained cultural centers for some time, it was never again on the scale of the earlier years of the Golden Age.

I don't know how old this printing press is, but I got it from a Dutch family in a large city who inherited it and had it lying around for so many decades (or even centuries) that nobody knows any longer where it came from, how old it is, or how to use it. It was just decorating a bookshelf somewhere. Even though the base is made of extremely dense hard wood (probably sourced from Indonesia or Suriname), and has been eaten through by worms over the centuries, it is still a functioning printing press. I have no idea how old it is. After evaluating it, I could easy believe it is from the 17th century, when this industry of small-scale printing was blooming. After the destruction of the economy in 1672, there weren't many people who would have had the economic freedom to print things in their spare time, and printing was largely taken over by professional large-scale printers. If it is from the golden age, it would be about 350 years old, at least.

In any case, it is now in my possession, and I intend to use it to print parts of the book of c-spam, to make pamphlets, and held spread the radical and new ideas and modes of thought which have come out of this humble sub-forum. This machine was built specifically for the purpose of some solitary weirdo to operate it and thereby spread weird new ideas, and thus (hopefully) better society.

On the title page, underneath "Plinkey, Hot Karl Marx, HugeGrossBurrito & Co., printers” I will print the words "Printed in Amsterdam." That's where I am, this is what I am doing, and now you know what ancient tradition this work will be a part of. And I also hope that after reading this you have a greater appreciation of the meaning of the words "Freedom of the Press."

( they don't teach you in school, but a lot of the republican ideas of the founding fathers were based on the Dutch Republic, which still existed at that time and played a major role in funding the American Revolution, and even the Declaration of Independence was not only printed on Dutch paper but also modeled after the Dutch declaration of independence from Spain *sniff* and so on)