Epic High Five posted:

If not them, then apartment mailboxes do

Epic High Five posted:

print came in today! no pic because it got all crunched up in the mailbox so I'm putting it under some magazines before I take it out

Bilirubin posted:

Ah. I put mine under the Collected Works of one WIlliam J. "Trump" Shakespeare

Mayor Dave posted:

UFOTacoMan posted:

i'm hootin' and hollerin' right now

Nebakenezzer posted:

II. THE ABOMINATIONS

The terrible offspring of the Ancient Ones may be summoned by the priest. These offspring may be called and adjured to perform what tasks the priest may deem necessary in his temple. They were begotten before all ages and dwelt in the blood of KINGU, and MARDUK could not altogether shut them out. And they dwell in our country, and alongside our generations, though they may not be seen. And this was taught by the priests of Babylon, who charged that these formulae may never be revealed to anyone who is not initiated into our ways, for to do so would be the most frightful error.

Though they dwell beyond the Gate, they may be summoned when MARDUK is not watchful, and sleeps, on those days when he has no power, when the Great Bear hangs from its tail, and on the four quarters of the year computed therefrom, and on the spaces between these Angles. On these days, the Mother TIAMAT is restless, the corpse KUTULU shakes beneath the Earth, and our Master ENKI is sore afraid.

Prepare, then the bowl of TIAMAT, the DUR of INDUR, the Lost Bowl, the Shattered Bowl of the Sages, summoning thereby the FIRIK of GID, and the Lady SHAKUGUKU, the Queen of the Cauldron. Recite the Conjuration IA ADU EN I over it, and build the Fire therein, calling GBS when thou dost, after its manner and form. When the Fire is built and conjured, then mayest thou raise thine Dagger, summoning the assistance of NINKHARSAG, Queen of the Demons, and NINKASZI, the Horned Queen, and NINNGHIZHIDDA, the Queen of the Magick Wand, after their manner and form. And when thou hast accomplished this, and made the proper sacrifice, thou mayest begin calling whichsoever of the offspring thou mayest, after opening the Gate.

DO NOT OPEN THE GATE, SAVE FOR AN ESPECIAL TIME THAT THOU STATE AT THE TIME OF OPENING, AND IT MAY NOT STAY OPEN FOR A MOMENT AFTER THE PASSAGE OF THE HOUR OF TIAMAT, ELSE ALL THE ABYSS BREAK FORTH UPON THE EARTH, AND THE DEAD RISE TO EAT THE LIVING, FOR IT IS WRIT: DON'T DO THAT DUMMY

After thou hast performed the necessary, called the Spirit, appointed his task, set the time of the closing of the Gate and the return of the Spirit therein, thou must not leave the place of Calling, but remain there until the return of the Spirit and the closing of the Gate.

The Lord of Abominations is HUMWAWA of the South Winds, whose face is a mass of the entrails of the animals and men. His breath is the stench of dung, and has been. HUMWAWA is the Dark Angel of all that is excreted, and of all that sours. And as all things come to the time when they will decay, so also HUMWAWA is the Lord of the Future of all that goes upon the earth, and any man's future years may be seen by gazing into the very face of this Angel, taking care not to breathe the horrid perfume that is the odour of death..

And this is the Signature of HUMWAWA:

Baloonigan got drunk, beligerant, got permabanned

twoday posted:

Is this from the Necronomicon?

quote:

And is HUMWAWA appears to the priest, will not the dread PAZUZU also be there? Lord of all fevers and plagues, grinning Dark Angel of the Four Wings, horned, with rotting genitalia, from which he howl in pain through sharpened teeth over the lands of the cities sacred to the APHKHALLU even in the height of the Sun as in the height of the Moon; even with whirling sand and wind, as with empty stillness, and it is the able magician indeed who can remove PAZUZU once he has laid hold of a man, for PAZUZU lays hold unto death. Know that HUMWAWA and PAZUZU are brothers. HUMAWAW is the eldest, who rides upon a silent, whispering wind and claims the flocks for his own, by which sign you shall know that PAZUZU will come.

And this is the Sigil of PAZUZU by which he is constrained to come: (phrasing!)



Of all the Gods and Spirits of Abomination, there can be no use or gain to call upon AZAG-THOTH, as he is Surely Mad. Rendered sightless in the Battle, he is Lord of CHAOS, and the priest can find little use for him. He is also too powerful to control once called, and gives violent struggle before sent back to the Gate, for which only a strong and able magician may dare raise him. Thus, for that reason, his seal is not given.

Of all the Gods and Spirits of Abomination, KUTULU only cannot be summoned, for he is the Sleeping Lord. The magician can not hope to have any power over him, but he may be worshipped and for him the proper sacrifices may be made, so that he will spare thee when he rises to the earth. And the times for the sacrifice are the same times as the Sleeping of MARDUK, for this is when Great KUTULU moves. And he is the very Fire of the Earth, and Power of All Magick. When he joins with the Abominations of the Sky, TIAMAT will once more rule the earth!

And this is his Seal:



And there are Four Spirits of the Spaces, and they come upon the Wind, and they are Things of the Wind, and of Fire. And the First comes from the North, and is called USTUR, and has a Human Shape. And He is the Most Ancient of the Four, and a Great Lord of the World. And the Second comes from the East, and is called SED and has the Shape of a Bull, but with a human face, and is very mighty. And the Third comes from the south, and is called LAMAS, and is of the Shape of a Lion, but with a human head, and governs those things of the Flame and the Burning Wind. And the Fourth comes from the West, and is called NATTIG, and is of the Shape of an Eagle, but with a human body, having only the face and wings of an Eagle, with an Eagle's claws. And this Eagle comes from the Sea and is a Great Mystery.

And from Nuzku upon Uru they come, and do not wait, and are always present, and they receive the Wanderers in their Seasons. And the Season of SED is that of the Great Night, when the Bear is slain, and this is in the Month of AIRU. And the Season of LAMAS is the Month of ABU, and that of NATTIG in ARAHSHAMMA and lastly that of USTUR in SHABATU. Thus are the Four Spirits of the Four Spaces, and their Seasons; and they dwell between the Sun's Spaces, and are not of them, but of the Stars, and, as it is said, of the very IGIGI themselves although this is not altogether known.

And to summon these and other Demons, the herb AGLAOPHOTIS must be burnt in a new bowl that must be the Evil Times, and at Night.

And the AKHKHARU may be summoned, which sucketh the blood from a Man, as it desires to become a fashioning of Man, the Blood of KINGU, but the AKHKHARU will never become Man.

And the AKHKHARU may be summoned,if its Sign be known, and it is thus [whew!]:

quote:

The First Name is MARDUK

The Lord of Lords, master of Magicians. His Name should not be called except when no other will do, and it is the most terrible responsibility to do so. The Word of His Calling is DUGGA. This is his Seal:



The Second Name is MARUKKA

Knows all things since the beginning of the World. Knows all secrets, be they human or divine, and is very difficult to summon. The Priest should not summon him unless he is clean of heart and spirit, for this Spirit shall know his innermost thoughts. This is his Seal:



The Third Name is MARUTUKKU

Master of the Arts of Protection, chained the Mad God at the Battle. Sealed the Ancient Ones in their Caves, behind the Gates. Possesses the ARRA star. This is his Seal:



The Fourth Name is BARASHAKUSHU

Worker of Miracles. The kindest of the Fifty, and the most beneficent. The Word used at his Calling is BAALDURU. This is his Seal:



[...]

The Thirty-Fourth Name is MUMMU

The Power given to MARDUK to fashion the universe from the flesh of TIAMAT. Giveth wisdom concerning the condition of the life before the creation, and the nature of the structures of the Four Pillars whereupon the Heavens rest. His Word is
ALALALABAAAL and the Seal is:



The Twenty-Seventh Name is HEGAL

As the Power above, a Master of the arts of farming and agriculture. Bestows rich harvests. Possesses the knowledge of the metals of the earth, and of the plough. His Word is BURDISHU and his seal thus:

Poniard posted:

shoggoths did a workers revolution against the oppressive elder things

Peanut President posted:

Imagine bothering some sort of cosmic horror for advice. "hey HEGAL why ain't my carrots coming up"

Poniard posted:

gently caress i really want a print of sorry but i only remember sailor

Poniard posted:

gently caress i really want a print of sorry but i only remember sailor

Epic High Five posted:

apartment mailboxes

Nebakenezzer posted:

It is. This is probably the best part of the book; how to summon the children of Chtulu

The book is weird even for what it is, it has a forward that suggests archeology grad students who had a huge laugh writing this, and then a SECOND intro, where somebody either dumb or schizotypical just free associates through a long essay about nothing

I LEAVE THIS TEXT HERE IN HOPES SOMEBODY WILL MAKE A FUNNY FIND/REPLACE - The Disturbed Arab

Also it goes for a very wonky old testament editing vibe


The previous summoning section has 50 gods/spirits/to summon, some who rule fundamental facets of the universe, some who have really lovely portfolios, like worse than evil DND gods of slime, disease, or cold:

Peanut President posted:

500 foot tall monstrosity beyond words: y̧ou p͜lante̵d ͜yo̶u͘r̕ ̶seèds t͡o̵o͢ deep ̷a̶n҉d thęy ̕go̶t͘ bur̵i͞e͝d, ͘t͘ha̧t'̴s̷ why͏ ́th̛ey did͘n̷'̷t c͢o̵m͝e̡ ͞up
̢it̷'̶s ̀a͞ ̸c͞o͢m̛m͘on ́mis̵t҉ak̛e wit̷h ̶so͝m͏ę s̢e͡eds͜ l̨ik̛e ̸c͢a̡r̛ro̵t̛s,͝ ͏yơu͝'͡ll ̢g̶e̶t̡ ̡i͜t͜ n͜e̸xţ t҉i̵m̴e p̧al
me with blood pouring out of my eyes as I tear my skin off: "ah gotcha"

Poniard posted:

gently caress i really want a print of sorry but i only remember sailor

twoday posted:

Alright. I used the money selling the trump prints to buy more equipment. But I don't want to keep this printing operation going as a capitalist pyramid scheme, profiting off prints so I can make prints to profit off of prints. I also want to distribute art for free in between, because art belongs to everyone.

So, I will send a "remember sailor" print to whoever wants. If you want to send me the postage amount ($1.50)


I already sold one such print to Tastykake for :tenbux: so that person is hereby promised to receive a free copy of the next print that I will offer for sale (it's gonna be good).

I felt guilty making money off of CSPAM (even though it wasn't much), even if I was reinvesting it into art supplies. In this way I can alternate selling and giving out artwork, so that I can still generate money to pay for my production of artwork, while also giving out the artwork to random c spam browsers.

quote:

And the LALASSU may be called, which haunteth the places of Man, seeking also to become like Man, but these are not to be spoken to, lest the Priest become afflicted with madness, and become unto a living LALASSU which must needs be slain and the Spirit thereof exorcised, for it is Evil and causeth only terror, and no good can come of it. It is like the LALARTU, and of the same Family as that, save the LALARTU was once living and is caught between the Worlds, seeking Entrance into one or the other. And it must not be permitted Entrance into This, for it is of a sickened constitution and will slay mothers at birth, like unto LAMASHTA, the Queen of Sickness and Misery. And the Signs by which these Things may be summoned are these, if the Priest have need
of them, but know that it is not lawful:

And this is the Seal of the LALASSU



And of THE OTHER ONE



And know that the MINU of ENKI is powerful against these, but against all Operations of Demonic character, and some of these may be rendered fruitless thereby. Therefore itmust always be hid. [Consult #56 DOUBMAKIMAKICHO, the god of words and copy-editing, who stopped PAZUZU at the Rouge Encampment by checking his spells.]

Know that GELAL and LILIT are quick to come at Calling, and invadeth the beds of Man, robbing the Water of Life and the Food of Life in which to quicken the Dead, but their labours are fruitless for they do not have the formulae. But the Priest has the formulae, and the Food of Life and the Water of Life may be brought to call many, for after the passage of one-tenth of a Moon the Elements are dead. And GELAL invades the bed of a Woman, and LILIT that of a Man, and sometimes evil beings are born of these hauntings, and as such must be slain, for the children of GELAL are workers natural of the ANCIENT ONE,* having His Spirit; and the children of LILIT are likewise, but are born in secret places which may not be perceived by Man, and it is not until the time of their maturity that such as these are given to walking in the places of Men.

*Yes that's vauge. For it is said that if a man does not know FOOF he should not work with it

And GELAL rideth upon the Wind, but oftentimes LILIT cometh of the Water. Which is why running Water must be used in the Rites, because of the cleanliness thereof. No piss, not even a little



And of GELAL:



And XASTUR is a foul demoness who slays Men in their Sleep, and devours that which she will. And of her no more may be said, for it is unlawful; but know that the worshippers of TIAMAT know her well, and that she is beloved of the Ancient Ones.



And know further that the legions of these Evil Ones are uncountable and stretcheth forth on all sides and into all places, though they cannot be seen, except at certain times and to certain persons. And these times are as said before, and the persons unknown, for who can know XASTUR?

But the Dead may be always summoned, and many times are willing to rise; but some are stubborn and desire to remain Where they are, and do not rise, save for the efforts of the Priest, who has power, as ISHTAR, both in this Place and in the Other. And the Dead must be called in the Four Directions, and in the Four Spaces for, not knowing where It is, the Priest must needs take especial care that he call everywhere, for the Spirit may be
in flight.

And a Dead God may be also summoned, and the formulae is that which follows. It must be spoken clearly aloud, and not a word changed, else the Spirit of the God may devour thee, as there is no Food and no Drink where they are.

And it must be called in a secret place, without windows, or with windows only in one place, and that should be in the Northern Wall of the place, and the only light shall be of one lamp, set on the altar, and the lamp need not be new, nor the altar, for it is a Rite of Age and of the Ancient Ones, and they care not for newness.

And the altar should be of a large rock set in the earth, and a sacrifice acceptable unto the nature of the God should be made. And at the time of the Calling, the waters of ABSU will roil, and KUTULU will stir, but unless it be His time, he will not Rise. Gosh, he's just like me

Nebakenezzer posted: