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      Summary if you don’t want to read the rest of this post: I’m writing a c-spam book and I need your help gathering material. Post cool c-spam posts/texts/images here. I can trace images fairly well, as you can see with the picture of Tom Carpet below. Also please use the search or dig through old c-spam threads for good poo poo you remember and post it here. ~~~~~~ Introduction: When I was in college I bought a book about the 50's-60's beatnik/hippy scene in Manhattan's Lower East Side. It was an encyclopedic volume filled with poetry, artwork, scans of typewritten paper, photos of people and events involved in the counterculture, and all kinds of other stuff. I really enjoyed it. Some entries were made by famous people like Allen Ginsburg or Timothy Leary, but a lot of it consisted of the traces of forgotten individuals who were just screaming into the void. I felt like it gave me a lot of insight into the counter-cultural scene of that time period, and I loved poring over it between classes, soaking in all of those good vibes. At some point I lent it to some stoner friends of mine who were roommates, and promptly forgot about it. About 6 months later I was at their apartment and stumbled across it in their bathroom, on the floor next to the toilet, dog-eared and stained with piss. I didn't ask for it back, but I asked if they had enjoyed it as much as I had, and they sung its praises, reciting the poetry, talking about how it must have been like back then, etc. The Cultural Value of C-SPAM: C-SPAM is a unique little slice of culture. To post here, or just to read what is posted here, today, is a unique experience. We have developed our own dialect, slang, and references; we speak our own language. We see the same things and influence each other with our opinions, which are quite a deviation from the norm. If someone were to try to read through this forum a hundred years from now, there is no way in hell they would grasp half of it. Even for people reading it as-is right now, a lot of it is probably gibberish. Normies simply can't keep up. There's not much you can do about that, that's just how culture works, especially sub-cultures. I don't want to attempt to explain what is happening here, but I do think it's something worthy of preservation. I hope that 50 or 100 years from now stoned college students would be able to try to decipher the bullshit we mass-produce while taking a poo poo in their dorms. I know that civilization won't exist in 30 years time, just suspend your disbelief for a second and work with me here. Why write a C-SPAM book? I read these forums for the same reason that many of you do, because it helps me come to grips with the absolutely incomprehensible madness of the world in which we currently live. This is a hellish plane of existence we inhabit, and we need some way to cope. I recently took up calligraphy as hobby because it chills me the gently caress out just a little bit, and that calm helps keep me centered. In want of texts, I began transcribing C-SPAM posts. It's been fun, and people seem to like it. I want to keep doing it. Several posters already requested that I finish writing a book full of it and publish a vanity run of it, and I just might. I am writing this for fun, but why not produce a physical copy of this world we inhabit that you can fondle and rant about to your friends and grandchildren? It's a nice idea. Furthermore, I recently remembered that the U.S. Library of Congress (which is the largest library in the world) will accept any book that you send to them, and attempt to preserve it forever. To have a government institution preserve and disseminate a book of C-SPAM posts for the rest of its existence is a joke that's just too good to pass up.  TL;DRAt this moment we are confronted with the opportunity of allowing your drunken shitposts to echo forever into eternity, to be analyzed by countercultural scholars a century from now, even after the Space Force launches attacks against Chinese space stations and trigger a cascade of space debris that destroys most satellites and effectively destroys the internet. Help me compile the Book of C-SPAM, so that it may still be read in 1000 years, several dark ages from now. We're writing a book now, binch   What the book will be: A sacred and hollowed text akin to a religious tome, filled with C-SPAM posts, artwork, and relevant material, transcribed by hand. I have created this thread because this is fundamentally a communal project, of and by the posters of C-SPAM. I will compile and transcribe it, but I want you to help me by pointing out things that are worthy of being included in the book and posting them in this thread. I don't read all of the threads, it's impossible. I can't stand the SuccZone, for instance, though I respect it as being worthy of inclusion in a C-SPAM book. But I'm not gonna read that poo poo, you read it and post the good parts here and I will pick through the scraps and then diligently transcribe the best ones. So far I have finished 2 sub-books: - The Book of Baloogan: A selection of the maddest and baddest posts from the maddest and baddest poster, which serve to capture the incoherent screaming into the void that is close to the heart of C-SPAM - The Book of Nichael: A collection of absurdist propaganda posters meant to reflect the Kerri Harris campaign for Delaware senate, in which C-SPAM played a significant role. I will dedicate a few more books to individual posters, but I think it is vain and exclusionary to make the whole text that way, so I am looking for ideas for other themes that are more generic: - Important bits of text, like the transcript of the cardboard Trump guy - Parodies. Someone please parody that poem trump read about the beaver and the scorpion or whatever the gently caress - Notable conversations and exchanges between posters that I can write like a Platonian Dialogue - Anything else that's good, you tell me Publication: There are a bunch of kickstarter-esque services that facilitate the printing of books on a small scale and I'll deal with that at the prudent juncture. I am not doing this for money. I will publish photos of every page of the book in this thread, because this will be a document created from C-SPAM, and I believe all C-SPAM users have a right to read it. If you have some money to spend and want to buy a printed copy, that's great, and helps us get into the Library of Congress, but I am not going to withhold any part of this book from the forums, in case there is someone who wants to read it but can't afford a printed copy. I might also try to include some random swag poo poo with any printed copy, such as a bookmark or a poster or something. Terms and Conditions - I will use user names, but if you don't want your Something Awful user name to appear in a printed book, I will respect that, just let me know.- This is a communal goon project, and thus doomed to fail. - Absolutely no guarantees about the quality of the content or the calligraphy. - I'm pretty good at follow-through on projects I have dedicated myself to, but I make no promises that I will finish this. Is it even possible to finish it? Theoretically I could just keep transcribing posts forever, but at some point I will just cut it off and print it. - This is a project of passion and there is no time line on this. If it is ever finished and ready to print, I will post about it here. - If you do decide to send me money at any point before the time of printing, I make no promises that I won't spend it on paying my rent and/or booze rather than buying calligraphy supplies. You can call me out on this though, and I don't think it will happen. I would love to have an excuse to buy good calligraphy supplies, just trying to limit my liability here. twoday posted:I don't have any money but if I ever finish the c-spam book and sell it I will donate 10% of the profit to RAINN 
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Sep 8, 2018 00:35
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The Book of C-SPAM: Title and Dedication   1. The Book of Baloogan     2. The Book of Nichael      3. The Book of Schnorkles    4. The Gospel of the Orb              ?. ???          6. The Book of Brexit (I will scan these)    Update: these are not in the book 7. The Plague Book  E: I should update this, there is more twoday has issued a correction as of 03:40 on Apr 14, 2022 |
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Sep 8, 2018 00:36
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Title and Dedication
twoday has issued a correction as of 00:40 on Sep 8, 2018 |
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Sep 8, 2018 00:38
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The Book of Baloogan
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Sep 8, 2018 00:39
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The Book of Nichael:
twoday has issued a correction as of 00:51 on Sep 8, 2018 |
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Sep 8, 2018 00:42
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hmm yeah, that's a good point ~~~~~ Pending: - Cardboard Trump - The Snake - The SuccZone - truckin and fuckin - very fancy "lodestar" -the failing new york times the failing new york times hi-ho, a derry-o the failing New York Times -The book of C-SPAM is weird and jarring No one can understand the thing It's full of trums and trmps and trumos And instructions for shitposting But IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I love it when you tmp to me And youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu You can pmurt me anything Tainen posted:I found 2Dcat's post trump brief post. twoday has issued a correction as of 04:34 on Nov 28, 2018 |
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Sep 8, 2018 01:06
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yes, also feel free to shitpost in this thread
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Sep 8, 2018 01:10
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don't hold your breath, there are only 16 pages so far
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Sep 8, 2018 01:13
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Duscat posted:
Yeah, I have tried to make it my routine to write a page before starting to work on other stuff, feels good
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Sep 8, 2018 01:18
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Addamere posted:find some way to express cheerful nihilism, op I have been trying to make music and do other things that express that for years, and my music is fairly good but I feel that text is really the best way to do this. Some earlier works:   That last one is painted over another painting (that is a copy of a painting by a famous artist that was made by an unknown art student) that was made in the 1890s twoday has issued a correction as of 03:00 on Sep 8, 2018 |
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Sep 8, 2018 01:26
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Addamere posted:i really like these, would also love to hear the music https://soundcloud.com/autophobe I have some more paintings in the attic, will post them later
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Sep 8, 2018 01:32
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quote:This one has a good story, I found this faded alpine landscape print literally in the garbage and liked the frame and wanted to paint something over it. But 3 years passed and I hadn’t done anything with it. Then it was my friend’s birthday, and I decided to customize it for him, so I asked him for his favorite color and quote, and it was red and this. So I made it, and then stood back and was flabbergasted by what I had produced. I tried to give it to him but he said that it was too forcefully depressing and refused to accept it as a gift, so I still have it. That friend was a goon and the quote came from YOSPOS. Someone had trouble installing their modem and couldn’t figure out how to configure it and asked for advice and this was the answer.
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Sep 8, 2018 01:39
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Hostess Snack Cake posted:please include this seminal c-spam post, op hahaha, yeah Addamere posted:do you have creation stories about each of your songs as well? yes and yes, I'll look for photos of the other paintings any song in particular? this is how I made the indian-sounding ones (“morning” and “afternoon”) twoday has issued a correction as of 03:16 on Sep 8, 2018 |
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Sep 8, 2018 01:47
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Smythe posted:can i post this pic else where ? yeah sure, just don't use my user name
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Sep 8, 2018 01:48
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Willie Tomg posted:i really want to, but honestly it's tough when someone puts in the effort with a calligraphy pen on actual IRL paper. did you even read the book of baloogan??
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Sep 8, 2018 01:49
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 So, this one I found in a second hand shop, it has velvet in the frame and I added the text. I bought it because I thought it was so supremely hosed up, crying girl head floating in black surrounded by soft velvet and gold. I wanted an explanation for its existence and I looked up "crying child painting" and apparently paintings of crying young boys were popular in England in the 70's, and they are said to be cursed. The reason for this is that they were all made in the same factory and were covered with some kind of lacquer that was fire-resistant. So whenever a house burnt down, the string holding up the painting (or the wall itself) would burn up and the painting would fall facedown on the ground, with the image of the crying child perfectly preserved. Firefighters kept finding these in burnt down houses and started getting freaked out, thinking the paintings were cursed and that the paintings themselves started the fire. No idea why this one was made though, I don't live in England. It's creepy as gently caress and currently hanging on a wall in my attic. Quote is from here: https://twitter.com/HIDEO_KOJIMA_EN/status/376424398023962624
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Sep 8, 2018 01:58
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 I also bought this one at a thrift shop. You can buy all kinds of hosed up old art for cheap at thrift shops. This one is a print (probably mass produced??) of an old man cradling a rifle and drinking wine while locking eyes with a small child. Why was this made? Who the gently caress would buy this and think, "yeah, that's something I want hanging above my couch." What the gently caress I made up the quote. I made this one after making the big red one. I felt bad that everyone was saying it was so negative and depressing, so I wanted to make one that was more positive, and this was the best I could find. I think it's more neutral than positive. I like the way the letter is hidden behind the guy's shoe.
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Sep 8, 2018 02:06
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uhh I think that's it for visual artwork for now, I feel like this thread has gotten derailed a bit but
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Sep 8, 2018 02:09
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Tainen posted:should be a section dedicated to Day Crew vs Nite Crew vs Death Crew Yeah that's the thing, everything ever posted on c spam is still here because the threads never get deleted (just closed) , but just the trump threads are 3000 pages per month. It's really impossible for me as a single person to dig up all the good poo poo that is in there, that is why I am asking for help Look it up if you have time twoday has issued a correction as of 02:35 on Sep 8, 2018 |
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Sep 8, 2018 02:33
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freckle posted:The book of C-SPAM is weird and jarring This is a good intro to the book
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Sep 8, 2018 02:34
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Duscat posted:between all the nihilism i think there should also be a chapter dedicated to the good jokes, because if this was all just the horrifyingly depressing stuff, most of us would probably give up
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Sep 8, 2018 02:34
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It’s an insane amount of material to work with, really
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Sep 8, 2018 02:41
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Mayor Dave posted:The origin is so far back that it would be very difficult to dig up even if search worked I didn’t know this actually but I can work with this and improvise something if nobody manages to find the original posts. I posted in LF back when McCain was running, up until it got destroyed, but I didn’t get back into C-Spam till trump was elected. So there is probably a lot of stuff I’m missing and I may not be the ideal c spam scribe, but really that’s not a thing that should even exist M_Gargantua posted:i will definitely write something for this book that will definitely never be a completed goon project Write screeds and manifesto about other posts and posters, even better if you’re shitfaced when you write it tbh twoday has issued a correction as of 03:13 on Sep 8, 2018 |
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Sep 8, 2018 03:11
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Tainen posted:Yeah its nearly impossible. I just tried for 30 minutes to find my favorite post on this forum which was Schindler's monologue from the end of the movie but redone for Manafort "One more crime. I could've done one more crime" and I had no luck even tough im pretty sure i know what day it was posted on. I appreciate the effort. The search is hosed, I have just been going by instinct mostly. One tip is to find the thread you think is right, find the poster you think is right, and then read through their posts in that thread. It’s still a bitch though An Apple A Gay posted:we need the chair goon to design a chair for your gospel what’s a chair goon
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Sep 8, 2018 03:24
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general addendum I was able to trace Tom Carpet’s face pretty well, so I can probably reproduce most images you post. So post images. I was thinking of having a pop-up of trump screaming at the lawnmower kid on the page after the Cardboard trump guy text, though that might be hard to mass produce I also have a typewriter in case you have a post that needs to look like an old fashioned document
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Sep 8, 2018 03:28
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Tainen posted:Another one would be the origin of "WEAR THE HAT" Yes sure but how can I express this on a piece of paper in a way that is entertaining
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Sep 8, 2018 03:36
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I love your art too, Al! The fact that you are making background graphics for video games that don’t exist is, in and of itself, very poignant. You had a post recently that was something like “imagine that your only form of expression is making graphics for a very particular style video games that haven’t existed for 25 years. That is the hell I live in.” That shook me. To go through that effort while thinking you are doing it for no god drat reason at all. Playing on motifs and imitating styles that were at some point a part of something that was real and meaningful and a part of your life, a part of your childhood even. I hope that someday a video game with your artwork will be made, but actually, if it doesn’t happen, it somehow makes your art more meaningful. Together me and you can begin the school of post-post-post-modern nihilist art. Maybe our artwork will be hanging in the Louvre a hundred years after we’re dead.
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Sep 8, 2018 04:42
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Link it Also, there are no page numbers so I can rearrange poo poo at will. If you look at the gif in the OP you can see that I wrote the book of baloogan in the wrong order
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Sep 8, 2018 04:52
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Zyla posted:trump killed a navy seal and an 8 year old girl that loved disney and she was really adorable but now she's dead Trump: “THIS IS MY PAINTING! IT WAS MADE FOR ME!”
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Sep 8, 2018 04:58
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Yeah, Book of fictional 2Dcat situations sounds good
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Sep 8, 2018 05:12
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What, is that real
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Sep 8, 2018 05:13
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Is 2Dcat even real??
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Sep 8, 2018 05:14
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Wynona Dryder posted:do u have an etsy? No, why, do you have something that needs up-cycling? This 2Dcat stuff is great
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Sep 8, 2018 16:06
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found this while looking up a font: people don't say "trumped up" enough. Did you see that guy getting shot? That was really trumped up, I almost puked Mycroft Holmes posted:are you going to include the british politics thread? I think a Brexit section would be good if there is some good material. British stuff inherently lends itself to older calligraphy styles better than American politics
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Sep 8, 2018 18:53
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 Just practicing today
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Sep 9, 2018 01:12
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 Not sure where I’m going with this, let’s see
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Sep 10, 2018 02:05
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I already made covers for the books of cumshitter and canibanibal. Squizzle also has many wisdoms. But I’m not sure if it would be good to have too many books of non-sequitor one-liners devoted to individual posters. Then I feel bad for not making a book for everyone.
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Sep 10, 2018 02:08
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Mayor Dave posted:another version This is a good reference, so much packed in here. Plenty to work with, especially as marginalia
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Sep 10, 2018 02:09
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Addamere posted:there should be a book of smilies dedicated to how various smilies like The book of symbols
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Sep 10, 2018 02:10
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and 
came to be and what they mean
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Note to self: Ted Cruz Zodiac killer crossword puzzle
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Sep 10, 2018 02:16
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