- Karate Bastard
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Can sleep through anything
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Dec 7, 2018 22:57
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 10, 2024 06:19
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- Karate Bastard
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Ok but get this: can read minds, but it also works on politicians, religious zealots, and telemarketers. Pretty insufferable huh?
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Dec 7, 2018 23:44
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- Karate Bastard
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Telepath, but can only broadcast
E: while farting
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Dec 7, 2018 23:53
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- Karate Bastard
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Can only see through walls
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Dec 7, 2018 23:56
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- Karate Bastard
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Titanium stomach: can eat actual garbage with no ill effects
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Dec 8, 2018 01:19
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- Karate Bastard
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You mean like you're knurd?
Oh, oh, oh!
You fart conflagrations.
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Dec 8, 2018 10:01
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- Karate Bastard
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Also you are acutely risk aware, always knowing exactly the full range of horrific consequences that may follow each course of action, and to an exactitude of ten decimal places of probability. This awareness manifests as stomach cramps. The thought of buying ice cream gives you cold sweats.
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Dec 8, 2018 10:16
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- Karate Bastard
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You sort of can't see people, but you can see their cancers.
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Dec 8, 2018 10:28
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- Karate Bastard
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You have a million billion teeth that never stop growing and you constantly have to gnaw poo poo to file them down lest you suffocate on them. You can bite through suspension cable.
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Dec 8, 2018 16:23
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- Karate Bastard
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You are extremely good at drawing furry porn. When you draw furry porn, birds fall quiet, men and women hold their breath, and the lion lays down by the lamb.
Karate Bastard fucked around with this message at 16:48 on Dec 8, 2018
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Dec 8, 2018 16:45
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- Karate Bastard
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You can suck an oak tree clean out of the ground and you have extremely poor impulse control.
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Dec 8, 2018 17:34
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- Karate Bastard
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Indeed!
Clothes are invisible to you.
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Dec 9, 2018 09:54
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- Karate Bastard
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Secretly, you are a highly coordinated troupe of eels wearing a skin suit.
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Dec 9, 2018 11:17
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- Karate Bastard
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You are immune to the black plague. You also carry the black plague.
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Dec 9, 2018 13:02
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- Karate Bastard
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You are -by far- the world's loudest yodler.
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Dec 10, 2018 15:47
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- Karate Bastard
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Finally an explanation for this bollocks
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Dec 10, 2018 19:36
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- Karate Bastard
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Fun fact: that video is among the top five hits if I google "indecipherable bollocks"
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Dec 10, 2018 20:12
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- Karate Bastard
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[inexplicable]
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Dec 11, 2018 00:08
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- Karate Bastard
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Wow that's some heavy stuff. And here I thought it was just something about kebabs.
Anyway that's your superpower, weird I know.
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Dec 12, 2018 07:03
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- Karate Bastard
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You can avert all kinds of malfeasance by making fast friends with the miscreants. You now live out your life surrounded by nazis and dipshits and florida men
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Dec 12, 2018 22:40
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- Karate Bastard
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You can see through the fourth wall but you keep seeing the same ten-ish people so you go through life acutely aware that whatever show you're a part of doesn't have much of a following.
Aka acute awareness that as soon as you are no longer able to entertain these ten-ish dorks, existence as you know it will cease, aka florida manism.
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Dec 30, 2018 17:33
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- Karate Bastard
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The Smell-O. You can stop criminals and strip paint off the walls with your astonishing b o.
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Apr 12, 2023 20:12
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 10, 2024 06:19
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- Karate Bastard
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May 25, 2023 13:45
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Dec 7, 2018 22:57
