(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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Forgive me if I missed the answer in the last fifty pages or so, but does anyone know a way I can seek help for my mental stuff without having to divulge it to the government? I have a security clearance I need to do my job, but I'm afraid of losing it -- and my job -- if I get help for my PTSD and other issues. I know I need medicine and actual therapy, but I'm scared that if I get it I'll lose everything, which will end up with me in a worse spot than I was in before, because without my job and insurance I couldn't afford treatment, so not only will I have untreated mental issues, I'll be jobless and homeless too. It's starting to significantly affect me. Some days I'm so listless I can barely muster the energy to get out of bed. Hell, I should be at work right now, I need the money, but every time I tried to get up something in my brain said, "No, just lay down, don't think, don't move, just lay down, just lay down." I managed to get myself out of bed to eat something, but I lost my appetite halfway through. About an hour later I forced myself to finish eating, not because I was hungry, but because I can't stand wasting food. Other times I'm wracked with paranoia, and it's gotten so bad I've driven my friends away because part of me is convinced they were only pretending to be my friends. And when I feel that way, I get angry at them for lying to me, and I start to wonder if they have some ulterior motive for lying to me, so I get hostile and withdrawn. It doesn't help that they told me they didn't want to hang out anymore until I got help, because loneliness compounds my paranoia and depression but I'm too nervous to try to meet new people. I used to really, really look forward to getting together on the weekends to play D&D and stuff and it was genuinely getting me to relax and cope, but now that I'm by myself I don't have anything to look forward to but drinking and listening to political stuff. I can't even enjoy the D&D podcasts and videos I used to listen to since it just makes me remember being ejected from my gaming group because of my paranoia. I also don't remember how to be positive. As in, when I see a situation, I literally can't convince myself that it will turn out well. I can't remember the last time I had any hope for the future, although to be fair I think that last one is actually a sign of mental health because who the gently caress can be positive in 2019 who isn't a straight white goddamn billionaire? I don't know where to go or what to do. I'm terrified of losing my job, but I'm also terrified of losing my me, if that makes any sense.
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May 21, 2019 20:20
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| # ¿ May 12, 2024 12:52 |
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Thank you for the reply. However, if there's one thing I've learned about my job (and the government in general), it's that they absolutely do not follow the wording of the law. A good example of my worry is this article that describes how the government could reduce the benefits for the disabled for spurious reasons. If the government is so willing to hurt people, what's to keep them from having the company I work for send them information from my insurance claims to use as proof to take my job? My company's recently hired a lot of people, and I've been there for just under two years at this point, so it's entirely likely they'll try to get rid of me in order to keep "better" workers without mental defects, and they may try to get the government to revoke my clearance so they can have an excuse to let me go. I can't tell if this is a legitimate fear or my paranoia talking, and that terrifies me too. The things I'm scared of are perfectly rational things to be afraid of, so I can't tell if it's the world that's gone crazy or if it's just me. It's probably both. Jesus Christ, it's probably both.
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May 21, 2019 20:47
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succ posted:How do counselors and therapists deal with hearing our horror stories of trauma and abuse daily for 40 hours a week? It seems like it would be a high turnover field to work in. That's a good question. Do they have psychiatrists? If so, why don't we go to them instead and cut out the middlemen?
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May 21, 2019 22:54
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Poniard posted:i eat mystery jerky from the internet instead It's been a long time since we've met, Louisgod. A long time indeed. Too long. Too long. I considered taking mystery chemicals from the internet, but I realized that it could lead to even greater harm and make things much, much worse for me physically and mentally.
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May 22, 2019 01:26
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Calibanibal posted:no i think its the thing where you hold your breath to make the reticle stop shaking. i do it all the time (press the Shift key) I usually just take diazepam, because it makes the fight against Sniper Wolf easier.
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May 26, 2019 01:26
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Vodka tastes pretty good if you mix it with wine and unsweetened strawberry-flavored seltzer water.
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May 26, 2019 04:14
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cool dance moves posted:In brighter news I've kicked my drinking habit and am working out again! And I'm getting a group of friends back together. My personal life is fine, it's my professional life that sucks rear end Good for you! Also, 'grats on having gainful employment!
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May 26, 2019 17:10
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FactsAreUseless posted:hulk hogan meat therapy We all saw the video, it doesn't work.
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May 27, 2019 05:23
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Anyone ever have those times when you want to do something, but you lack the energy to do it? Like, you're sitting there, and you want to get up and move, or play a video game, or watch a movie, or something, anything but stare straight ahead and think about how drained you are? And even if you force yourself to do something, you get tired and bored of it and you end up quitting? I got that going on right now. How can I break out of it?
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May 29, 2019 02:07
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Dreddout posted:Anyone know if SSRIs, can cause irritability? My new medication has been working for me. However I feel myself getting angrier easier and faster nowadays. That's not medicine, that's just a healthy reaction to 2019. It's not a sign of health to be well-adjusted to a maladjusted world. I'm being tongue-in-cheek. Mostly.
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May 30, 2019 03:01
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Jollity Farm posted:Depression can sometimes manifest itself in odd ways. The popular perception is of someone weeping and suicidal (possibly while wearing a lot of dark eye make-up and listening to sad music) but quite a lot of the time it's just dreary stuff like "I haven't got the energy to do this simple thing I need to do, I'm going back to bed. I think of it like "depressant" drugs, which will slow a person right down and impair their functions, but not necessarily make them feel "sad". That's what I have, mostly. I self-medicate with excessive amounts of caffeine (pills, energy drinks, coffee, etc.) to get through the day, but it just makes the crash that much harder. Sometimes I'll go without it, but those days are loving hard.
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Jun 2, 2019 01:47
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DONT THREAD ON ME posted:long shot but has anyone ever read a good book on relationships, specifically communication? my ~socialist girlfriend~ want to improve our relationship but all these books seem very liberal. What, you don't Buy Her All The Things? If you would just Buy Her All The Things your relationship would work better. Perhaps you should buy and take Better Pills. They will make your parts bigger and more attractive, make other parts smell and look nicer, and are almost totally non-addictive. You should also shave your parts better, and use Better Body Products. Buy All The Things and your life will be so much better. Don't you love your girlfriend? Why aren't you Buying All The Things? Consume, god drat you! Among the many reasons I'm single is because this mantra slams into my skull the moment I consider getting into a relationship, and even if I do, what the gently caress do I have to offer to a relationship but crippling depression, untreated PTSD, and an enormous schwanzstucker?
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Jun 2, 2019 03:53
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Cybernetic Vermin posted:perhaps we should take this particular discussion to a "making GBS threads on company time" thread, because while i am tempted to add to this i think we're straying from the core of this thread Venting is good for mental health and also sheds light on the source of some of our issues.
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Jun 11, 2019 20:05
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I haven't had any drive in years. Being chronically poor and depressed kept me from getting out and about, so now that I'm not doing so bad anymore I still don't really feel up to meeting people. That combined with IRL anger and paranoia issues makes me afraid to be with anybody -- my dad used to beat the hell out of us, and I got a lot of my anger from him.
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Jun 27, 2019 06:43
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I work for an insurance company and they are awful and I feel like a war profiteer every day I'm there, but it's the only job in town that isn't factory work, Walmart, or fast food, and I would sooner kill myself than go back to fast food. I also get to work from home, and that's nice. Is there something I can do to stop the stress and the guilt? I'm on Buproprion, but I think I need something else. I almost flew into a Edgar Allen Poe's Tell-Tale Heart guilt-scream on one of my calls and I literally had to put the caller on hold for five minutes while I went to the kitchen to make myself a drink with the rest of my vodka.
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Apr 15, 2020 23:44
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UnfortunateSexFart posted:I worked for an insurance company for precisely two days before quitting. gently caress that poo poo. I know it's tough but is there no way to move to a place with more options? I'd move if I could, but I don't have a car or anyone to crash with until I get on my feet again. If I get on my feet again. The system is designed to trap you, to make your present situation as bad as terrible while making all other options worse. We're always forced into taking the lesser of two evils.
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Apr 17, 2020 00:38
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AceOfFlames posted:I have had FOUR therapists so far and none of them have said anything beyond basic meditation. I don't get it. I think they just like listening to me talk or are trying to bilk me out of money. It's the latter. It's easoer for them to blame laziness -- it doesn't require any effort on their part.
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Sep 19, 2023 05:40
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Consummate Professional posted:wow, my last post in here was 11/9 and so much has changed, some good some bad. I'm glad you got a new job, but I'm sorry the old job didn't work out. I'm also very glad you're finding the silver lining in your dad's situation; hopefully he makes a quick recovery and the new openness between him and you remains and grows. It's good to assert yourself, but please don't feel bad if you have difficulty with it; it's hard to push yourself out there, and you're not always going to hit the mark. Just remember that there are people there who care about you, and will offer whatever support they can.
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Dec 4, 2023 01:35
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I've been going to a local game store to play D&D (no worries, not a penny of what we use went to WOTC!) with some of the local folks, and it's been pretty fun. The folks there are people I've seen around town, but to look at them you wouldn't know they'd be into TTRPG's, and I've made friends with a bunch of them, though I am deathly afraid of getting to know them better for fear of their politics; thankfully, it's never come up, and I'm not going to do anything to change that. Either way, it's nice to have something to look forward to on the weekends, and I'm even writing a homebrew campaign because I've always wanted to try and because the current campaign has 8-11 players(!!!) and this is one time where we desperately need to split the party. It also gave me the opportunity to sneak Detective Raphaël Ambrosius Costeau into the setting under the alias "Bill Crump".
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Jan 15, 2024 15:42
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Jan 15, 2024 15:51
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Spaced God posted:Lol yesterday marked ten years since I last self harmed and tried to kill myself and I spent it with my girlfriend being very happy and I didn't even realize the date until this morning. I think I've come a long way since then. Don't even really get worked up thinking about it. You know things are getting better when it being the anniversary of something horrible doesn't cross your mind. I'm sorry about the loss of your father, and while you'll never forget, I hope this pain, too, will ease away.
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Jan 17, 2024 06:35
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I FINALLY GOT MY FUKKEN ADDERALL PRESCRIPTION RENEWED! Sure, I had to get grilled by a lady who obviously thought I was a junkie trying to get a fix, and I had to give a piss test (which they claimed I tested positive for THC despite the fact I haven't had an edible for months), but I got a prescription for a month of rapid release generic Adderall! I don't know if it's the placebo effect, but I haven't felt this awake and focused in ages! I not only got through a day of work more or less stress free, but I even managed to work on my D&D campaign on my downtime! The healthcare system sucks and the world is on fire in every meaning of the word, but sometimes things just work.
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Jan 25, 2024 02:32
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Ytlaya posted:Adderall makes most people feel really awake/focused (because it's a stimulant - like super-coffee or something). It's why it has a reputation as "the thing college students take to study for exams." I think the only people who don't get that way are people (mainly children maybe?) with ADHD (emphasis on the H part). I remember when my aunt/grandma/cousin decided to have me try some of my cousin's Ritalin (which is basically the same sort of medication as Adderall) back when I was in college, and I was like "other people feel like this all the time?!" (they don't lol) I don't mean hyperactive -- I mean just active. I could finish complete sentences, keep from going on tangents, and speak without stuttering or repeating myself. I'm not climbing the walls, I'm just clocking in to work and making it throughout the entire day without taking an hour-long "FMLA" break where I spend the entire time pacing around the apartment hyperventilating and berating myself for not being able to force myself to function like a normal human being.
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Jan 26, 2024 02:35
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"Why aren't you doing anything? You should do something!" "All right, fine, you got a point. What should I do?" "Nothing! You're helpless, useless, and worthless! Why are you wasting your time trying?" "You're right, I should just give up." "Give up? But you should do something!" I know the feeling, and short of something external and positive happening, it's hard as hell to break out of.
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Feb 29, 2024 23:15
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Writing is great! I had to quit though because I would start thinking about economy and resource management stuff, get mad at capitalism, and then get so depressed at my own helplessness that I'd lose interest in my work altogether.
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Mar 27, 2024 23:21
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| # ¿ May 12, 2024 12:52 |
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Ronwayne posted:It is okay to have a power fantasy where you get your way. Dante's inferno was self-indulgent, self-insert fanfiction where he got to watch his personal enemies be tortured in hell, for example. That's how you get manifestos written and evidence which will be used against you in a court of law.
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Apr 5, 2024 07:11
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