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So I tried figuring out where the gently caress the money for this came from. The answer is an amazing failson story. Nathen Mazri's dad is an investment banker called Hayssam El-Masri. He manages multi-billion projects that look like this. Masri senior also runs a capital firm focused on the food and beverage industry, and a company that manages Canadian food franchises in the Gulf states. Nathen Mazri used to work for his dad's company, along with his brother Mohamed. He also ran a marketing company in Saudi Arabia, sponsored by fellow failson Shiekh Fahad Abunayyan. Here's Nathen giving a very confusing presentation to Saudi prince Mohammed bin Saud Al Kabeer. But Nathen is not just a businessman, he's a Renaissance Man. In true failson fashion, he's also a UCB graduate, a failed director and actor, and an author published under a vanity label. This is the sole production of Mazri Pictures. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRvo9kpZLX8 His "self-help memoir" is something else.  MAZRI'S 10 LAWS TO CONVERT FROM Feeling species into Thinking species Nathen Mazri has become like a prisoner for injustice, like a soldier fighting for his life, and like a survivor thriving out of the kingdom for his freedom. All Nathen wanted was to feel alive. Nathen, a young Arab-Canadian man is leaving Laval in the French province of Quebec with his family to settle in a soon to be discovered a tyrannical kingdom of Arabia in the middle of the desert sinking his soul in monotony, an unspoken epidemic, and defeated by suppression for over 12 years of his life lingering with broken dreams, Scoliosis, sexual identity crisis, bipolar disease, and the struggle to claim true elusive love. So Garfield Eats is either being bankrolled by his oil investor dad, or is being funded directly by some other Gulf failson with his own index fund. Meanwhile his Chad brother Mohamed still works directly for his dad, while creating his own oil-based crypto which the Saudis are probably going to use to fund terrorism or something.
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Jun 9, 2019 14:43
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| # ¿ May 12, 2024 03:24 |
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Nathen did an incredible interview with The Globe and Mail, which explains why the gently caress he chose Garfield. The whole interview is insanity. https://www.theglobeandmail.com/business/article-canadian-entrepreneur-behind-garfieldeats-wants-to-disrupt-fast-food/ quote:Goupons – like the company Groupon, or Garfield-branded coupons? quote:A lot of these plans deal with popular tech buzzwords. If people see them together and wonder how realistic that is, what is your response? This is the mysterious other guy on the website, who is probably scamming him. quote:You list Pascal Haider of Austria on your website as a partner – is he your only investor?
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Jun 9, 2019 14:49
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Cubone posted:okay, this is important The latter, but it doesn't say how far he made it through their program. He's exactly the kind of rich idiot who was fuelling the UCB improv bubble/pyramid scheme.
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Jun 10, 2019 10:32
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I think the book was written when he thought he was going to be a Hollywood mogul, before he got into the entergagment restaurant industry. Its another piece of the puzzle that the entire Garfield theme and license was chosen on a whim, with a sprinkling of Freudian childhood nostalgia. Also kudos to Chad Dad for celebrating the family reuniting by immediately rawdogging his wife and having yet another kid, which splits the family apart again. goodog fucked around with this message at 08:30 on Jul 11, 2019 |
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Jul 11, 2019 08:27
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:If this opened in one of the lesser Korean, Chinese, or Japanese city, it would do loving gangbusters. why choose to fail in toronto, of all places? it's not life's easy mode. The owner is from Toronto. He's the failson of a Dubai magnate who specializes in expanding Western food franchises to the Gulf. Which is why the only other Garfield Eats location was an "app only" restaurant in Dubai that has now closed down. His life is easy mode as it gets and he's still screwing it up.
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Dec 15, 2019 05:46
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Mordja posted:Getting a real Amy's Baking Company vibe from this guy. Given how crazy he is, I'm impressed that he's been able to contain himself online up until this point. Amy was posting relentlessly both before and after she went viral. Nathan is only just now having a public narcissistic meltdown. I would love to see Gordon Ramsey wrap his head around Garfield Eats. Its so absurd that I don't think he could even get angry at it.
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Feb 11, 2020 03:53
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This one has the added fun and danger of the owner being able to call a Saudi hit squad to track you down and dismember you if you keep tormenting him online.
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Feb 12, 2020 17:55
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Peanut Butler posted:your compassion is inspiring but lol he'll be fine He's super hosed if his dad ever gets sick of him and finally disowns him. Nathan will have to move to Indiana and live in Jim Davis' guest house. goodog fucked around with this message at 09:16 on Feb 15, 2020 |
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Feb 15, 2020 05:49
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LORD OF BOOTY posted:i showed my fiancee mestre da pizza and now she wants to learn portuguese and travel to brazil so she can see what the gently caress a trash-baked deep dish mayo pizza tastes like Sao Paulo city has some amazing pizza because a ton of Italians live there, but the rest of Brazil is a land of nightmares. 
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Feb 18, 2020 15:51
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flesh dance posted:The only reason that one got taken down is because it included the actual Paws Inc public relations info and they started getting inundated with requests for breakfast with Garfield. Lasagna Cat needs to convince Nathan Mazri to hire them for a video campaign. I'd prefer to melt the brains of unsuspecting Canadians, but I'd be happy with an official Youtube video. He's obsessed with going viral and it's guaranteed to.
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Feb 20, 2020 14:55
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ing at the idea of Mazri proposing a Garficcino restaurant and them going "well actually...."
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With your help, Nathen will fly the entire homeless population of Toronto to Dubai, where they will work on and eventually be entombed in a Great Sphinx that looks like Garfield.
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Mar 8, 2020 14:42
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QAnon was heavily influenced by Pizzagate and absorbed a lot of its followers. I wonder if he'll realize how suspicious he'd seem to that community as the owner of a kid-friendly pizza restaurant that manages to stay open in a major city despite having no customers, because its bankrolled by a Saudi property developer.
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Mar 23, 2020 15:35
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Garfield canonically hates America and The Troops. This ran on Veterans Day 
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Mar 26, 2020 16:45
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Given that Mazri Sr makes his money from - Managing Middle Eastern oil funds - Franchising fast food chains in Dubai, a city dependent on air travel and tourism. the parental pipeline might be running dry at the moment. I doubt they're destitute, but bankrolling Nathen's insanity would be a low priority for a family that suddenly needs to start budgeting.
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May 25, 2020 00:54
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What Nathen really wants is celebrity as a performer. All the Garfield marketing stunts aren't a desperate attempt to save a failing business. The failing business is an excuse to perform the marketing stunts. It's why he's willing to allow some self-deprecation as the clownish Garfield guy. Because being famous as a 'comedian' is more important to Nathen than being a successful entrepreneur. His whole marketing/social media/ tech bullshit career was just to please his dad. If he had talent and genuine self-awareness, he could be David Brent 2.0 or create a kayfabe persona like some reality and Youtube stars. But despite all the acting and improv classes, this is what his conscious attempts at comedy produce. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yutQiCSUNOQ
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Feb 14, 2021 04:24
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Nathen will end up as mayor of that insane Sim City 3000 that they're building in Saudi Arabia.
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Feb 21, 2021 09:29
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His business model is acquiring outdated comedic touchstones of popular culture, so he might end up buying this place.
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Apr 16, 2021 10:46
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Elephant Ambush posted:So I've been lurking this thread for a while and it's funny but I haven't read the whole thing. It's not 100% certain, but narcissistic trust fund baby makes the most sense. His dad is a bigshot in Dubai, and Nathen got the idea for Garfield pizza while working a nepotism job at his dad's company. With this entrepreneur persona, he can live outside the Gulf as an unstable gay playboy while still receiving an allowance from the Islamic Bank of Dad. And resurrect his acting career through bizarre promotional videos. TL;DR: Nathen is Tobias Funke, if he had access to the Bluth bank accounts.
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Apr 30, 2021 17:28
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Mordja posted:Saudi Arabia, I thought. Until 2015, and then he relocated to Dubai to manage an equity fund. Nathen's brother Mohamed also had an executive job there, and its funny comparing their similar paths. Mohamed also moved back to Canada, but his business is buying power companies and selling the farm-to-table electricity to bitcoin miners. The same day as Nathen released Orange v Brown, Mohamed's company announced a $20 million securities offering.
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May 1, 2021 04:05
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Introducing GarfCoin: the first eco-friendly cryptocurrency backed by Garfield merchandise. Instead of wasteful blockchain mining, each GarfCoin represents one Garfield phone recovered from that beach in France. As the phones become increasingly harder to find, the currency depreciates. Branding tycoon Nathen Mazri personally inspects and autographs each phone to ensure that it is genuine. 
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May 1, 2021 04:40
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Either Nathen found this thread or someone paid him $99 on Cameo to do a shout-out.
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May 29, 2021 03:17
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CodfishCartographer posted:This actually makes me angry. On its own it'd be funny to laugh at him going insane with his garf plush, but in the context of him going crazy about superman kissing a guy it's super homophobic. Not just because he's upset superman is gay now, but also because it's the classic slippery slope poo poo from the 90s - "society says men can kiss, what's to stop people from loving their cats" or whatever. Even if that's not what he meant, it's what it comes off as. That's absolutely what he meant. He contrasted the screencap of Superman kissing a dude with porn of Garfield eating Odie's rear end  .
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Oct 16, 2021 15:59
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Dec 24, 2021 13:19
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init posted:Has he explained what a "Carbon-Neutral NFT" even means? Is he walking around planting trees for every NFT sold? It's because he's clumsily trying to copy his brother. Mohamed El-Masri runs several companies that fuel bitcoin rigs with Canadian natural gas. Or something. Its advertised as being more environmentally friendly. "Oil & Gas Middle East posted:The offering is part of the Brox strategy of purchasing natural gas assets to generate low-cost, environmentally efficient electricity for its proprietary bitcoin mining farms. Brox uses 50% of the power capacity that is generated at its sites to mine bitcoin on its own account and offers the remaining 50% to independent or third-party Bitcoin mining companies. It's Goofus and Gallant. Mohamed is the successful online entrepreneur that Nathen is trying to imitate in order to placate his father. The brother also publishes word salad, but its slick and could probably convince gullible petrostates trying to diversify. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37FyyzKh2wI Mohamed also demonstrates the sort of balding that Nathen is trying to cover up.
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Jan 3, 2022 17:30
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"What if the Parable of the Prodigal Son included Garfield?"
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Jan 3, 2022 17:32
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sharknado slashfic posted:He's going on a tweet rampage https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZQaLmme-eg
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Mar 2, 2022 23:59
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:I think I’m honestly just gonna wait until Garfield Shits comes out. Litter trays for humans, the new environmentally friendly way to poo poo. When you're done, just have your Bangladeshi slave clean it up for you.
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Apr 7, 2022 02:34
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Mazri will purchase hundreds of actor Cameos and construct the movie line by line.
goodog fucked around with this message at 08:30 on Jun 2, 2022 |
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Jun 1, 2022 17:06
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Hedenius posted:https://twitter.com/josiahhughes/status/1567547430878515203?s=21&t=_w-S7HRnzTOmDSsh7Ojuow He said 'legal rep' because Adam Fraccaro isn't a lawyer. He's a paralegal who specializes in petty stuff like traffic tickets and landlord disputes. Which probably means that Nathen hired him when the landmonster evicted his restaurant, and now thinks that the poor guy is on retainer.
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Sep 7, 2022 23:20
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Garfield is now a Pizza Hut mascot. In Australia at least. 
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Jun 20, 2023 13:09
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