GarfieldEats: I have returned to what I love; cereal boxes and coloring

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > GarfieldEats: I have returned to what I love; cereal boxes and coloring

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steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Has anybody eaten the god drat pizza yet

Even in the supposed review somebody linked they barely even mention the food

# ¿ Jul 2, 2019 12:10

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 22:23

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

schmuckfeatures posted:

from here: https://www.thestar.com/life/2019/06/07/we-tried-the-pizza-and-lasagna-at-new-garfield-themed-restaurant-and-heres-what-happened.html

I counted six pepperoni slices on the entire pizza and as a co-worker bit into a slice, she said, �I�m not sure if I ate the pizza or the box. The crust was really cardboardy and the pepperoni didn�t taste real.�

The lasagna didn�t quite match what I saw on the menu, either. The �cowboy cut strips� looked more like ground beef and I couldn�t taste any of the tomato sauce that�s pictured on the lasagna on the menu.

Well, at least the sauce is orange.

# ¿ Jul 2, 2019 15:43

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

No, but you can order a cup of dog cum

# ¿ Jul 2, 2019 19:43

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAh9oLs67Cw

I hope this video plays on repeat at every Garfeats location

# ¿ Jul 4, 2019 23:45

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Binary Badger posted:

It's pizza as if the Doobs himself decided to try making pizza.

Ice cold dog cum - IN THE BOTTLE

# ¿ Jul 6, 2019 20:09

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Adds a dollop of mayo instead of milk foam

# ¿ Jul 9, 2019 12:17

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Thank you for your service, Mr. Yacht. Were there any other people?

# ¿ Jul 19, 2019 18:12

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Mr Luxury Yacht posted:

Update: Found the flavor of the garfaccino. It was entirely contained in a mass of raw orange peels hiding in the bottom of the cup that just dumps into your mouth all at once when you try and finish the coffee. Gross.

Now that's entergagement

# ¿ Jul 19, 2019 19:28

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

I'm imagining Doobie opening an og hous in New York or some place backed by idiot Saudi oil wealth and it's a picture I tell ya wut

Nathen's Nog Ous - Drink it with a straw!

# ¿ Jul 20, 2019 19:09

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

gently caress the Lebanese, the hateful curs

# ¿ Jul 26, 2019 19:33

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Firaga posted:

I live literally around the corner from this place and it's basically always empty except on weekends when they have a Garfield mascot outside trying to wheel people in.
I've been meaning to order from them before it inevitably runs out of money and shuts down. Rent in Toronto is not cheap.
Accepting donations for science.

The owner is an United Emirates oil sheikh, and this is his pet project. It's not running out of money any time soon.

Nevertheless, order the whole menu asap

# ¿ Sep 9, 2019 23:49

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

If your cummies look like Jon Arbucle's marinara, go see an urologist ASAP

# ¿ Sep 15, 2019 01:02

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

No, but it plays perfectly with that one lasagna cat video, if yo know what i mean

# ¿ Sep 15, 2019 01:10

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Killingyouguy! posted:

a friend and I tried! but it turned out that they're closed on Sundays.

you'd think you'd want to be open so people can go to your (quick mobile) restaurant, but, maybe I don't understand genius

Regional franchise manager: Claude Wayne D. Robinson

# ¿ Sep 30, 2019 20:55

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

I'd probably choose Mestre da pizza. At least it would be... interesting, rather than some bland, corporate approved cardboard (the only cardboard flavor in MDP comes from the burning glue in literal cardboard).

# ¿ Oct 5, 2019 20:50

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Has anybody used the lasagna box in its intended role as a tissue dispenser? I'm not ready to commit to buying just a meal, but the added value of a household accessory could push me over the edge.

# ¿ Nov 27, 2019 00:37

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Killingyouguy! posted:

Nathen's instagram story has gone off the fuckin rails

# ¿ Mar 21, 2020 23:11

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

He's the son of a billionaire Middle Eastern (Saudi, IIRC) businessman. Nathen himself is the tpical failson who spent his early years appointed to various positions in his dad's empire, so it's safe to say the costs of running Garfield Eats was basically pocket change.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2020 02:03

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Pastry of the Year posted:

quick reminder about what this macaroon was saying about COVID-19 back in March

# ¿ Nov 18, 2020 23:27

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Drink-Mix Man posted:

but eating alone is much more satisfying & possible!

I've been telling myself the same thing, but it gets harder every day.

# ¿ Nov 25, 2020 14:00

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Also ground beef shouldn't be made of semolina, no matter how fine

# ¿ Nov 25, 2020 14:01

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Frank Frank posted:

It�s also kinda weird that Nathen has employees right - let alone a happiness manager?

It's probably some guy in India replying to emails with templates, if he exists at all.

# ¿ Nov 27, 2020 12:41

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Jim Davis didnt give a rat's rear end about Garfield in general.

# ¿ Dec 1, 2020 07:14

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

its to time to come forward, im the head of the garfsagna profiteering cartel (garftel)

# ¿ Dec 2, 2020 13:50

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

It's not a jumbled mess of words, so he probably hired somebody.

# ¿ Dec 3, 2020 11:39

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

The White Dragon posted:

Ralph Bakshi's Wizards Dinner & Live Show

Make it Fritz the Cat and we're in business.

# ¿ Dec 4, 2020 10:53

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Pretty good posted:

https://twitter.com/scoobyeats/status/1334358548776689664?s=21

This seems more like it's legit

# ¿ Dec 4, 2020 10:55

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Lt. Cock posted:

Is a hot dog a sandwich?

Also I think the name changed.

This makes Doobie's advertising seem high brow

# ¿ Dec 16, 2020 15:26

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Akratic Method posted:

There's no reason to assume he's raping house pets, but to be honest he's basically a tiny little Donald Trump type: can't blame himself for anything, thinks purely in self-aggrandizing nonsense despite basically being an idiot that can't construct a coherent sentence, lives in a bubble constructed out of family money and is convinced that any benefits that his bubble confers that he can recognize are just evidence that he's earned his brilliant way to the top, etc etc.

Mazri is funny since he's chosen to focus on the unspeakably pathetic world of cartoon-licensed fast food instead of anything that can really affect our lives, but he's absolutely cut from the same reprehensible, narcissistic cloth and I wish him the worst simply so that he can stay down at levels where he has minimal effect on anyone. I refuse to feel bad for that, not least because the "worst" for the child of billionaires is more comfortable than nearly anyone posting here will ever be.

Yeah, the best you can say about Nathen is that instead of trying to build up his unearned family wealth by becoming the absentee owner of a turnkey misery factory, he decided to waste it all on increasingly hare-brained schemes. But that wasn't a conscious decision.

# ¿ Dec 22, 2020 10:14

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Fur20 posted:

nathen is still playing that "youngest licensee of <franchise>" card but sooner or later it's simply going to run out

Not if he makes sure nobody else gets another licnese.

# ¿ Dec 29, 2020 14:31

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

mycelia posted:

I can't figure out if the entergagement thing is sincere, ironic, or an attempt to be ironic while clearly actually being sincere.

Well, either way im entergaged

# ¿ Jan 23, 2021 19:10

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Frank Frank posted:

Edit: Visited PenguinPickup's webpage and uh, they also specialize in "Clothing Rental, Luggage storage and Dry cleaning"

The Big Cow Lasagna is going to be like the pineapples of the Georgian Era, rented rather than sold, and intended not to be eaten, but rather so the clients can show off their wealth and good taste.

It already is priced accordingly.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2021 17:31

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

SweetWillyRollbar posted:

Nothing quite as disruptive as a frozen food entree with cartoon branding.

It turns into a napkin dispenser, motherfucker

# ¿ Jan 28, 2021 20:21

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

pseudanonymous posted:

Wait does it? I thought that was the pizza box turning into a tissue box?

No, the pizza box turns into scraps of cardboard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhOx60xg9j4

# ¿ Jan 28, 2021 20:35

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Wait, so is there a full video somewhere?

# ¿ Feb 9, 2021 21:31

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

a few DRUNK BONERS posted:

He is going for the Amy's baking company gambit

On the one hand Amy was using her business to launder money for the mob, on the other hand she wasn't using her business to spread conspiracy theories about the pandemic being a population control government plot.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2021 22:54

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

He kept posting on the GarfieldEATS account that covid was actually a secret mass sarin attack. That was months into the epidemic.

E: Also this should be considered when discussing his ability to deliberately and rationally choose his public image in his reality show.

steinrokkan fucked around with this message at 23:10 on Feb 13, 2021

# ¿ Feb 13, 2021 23:07