GarfieldEats: I have returned to what I love; cereal boxes and coloring

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > GarfieldEats: I have returned to what I love; cereal boxes and coloring

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Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Garfield must spread across all media.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jx65nLOrzE4

# ¿ Nov 8, 2019 04:15

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 11:48

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

You know those weird cat people that refer to cat toes as "beans"? I worry that may be next.

# ¿ Dec 18, 2019 04:42

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Killingyouguy! posted:

https://www.instagram.com/p/B7OIfELJHac/

"Garficcino is my new Starbucks I am dead serious."

poor nathen looks like he's aged 10 years

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 05:10

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

dracky posted:

OK Listen up you punk kids, Garfield's got an important message I think we all can learn from

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00AUE1ZBNKI

What the gently caress is this bullshit where Garfield talks with his mouth? This is non-canon.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2020 07:20

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Someone post a Yelp review that they got cornoavirus at Garfield Eats and cause Nathen to have a meltdown.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2020 06:32

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

veni veni veni posted:

I'm pretty sad that he didn't work Garfield into the Sarin Gas conspiracy theories.

I'm disappointed he didn't have the courage to post the Sarin conspiracy on the official Garfield EATS Instagram.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2020 11:49

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Frank Frank posted:

Is... he getting progressively angrier at the Trump book in that sequence of photos?

I think he's biting them, maybe a sneak peak at his next pizza idea?

# ¿ Mar 25, 2020 01:13

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Also I found an imposter.
https://www.instagram.com/garfield.eats/

# ¿ Mar 30, 2020 05:02

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Killingyouguy! posted:

https://twitter.com/HertzBarry/status/1263888858665623560?s=19

Good riddance

Also lmao they started selling face masks but when nathen posted about it on his personal Instagram he changed 'pandemic' to 'man-made pandemic'

God drat that's a poorly-formed sentence.

# ¿ May 22, 2020 19:32

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

COMPAGNIE TOMMY posted:

The natural progression a U.S. Acres-themed restaurant that will close even sooner

Made with genuine Roy.

I invite you all to take one last look at their delicious food before their website host locks them out too.

https://garfieldeats.com/order-online/

# ¿ May 22, 2020 23:11

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Agent Escalus posted:

FlintstonesEats?

Just selling big bowls of Flintstone Chewable Vitamins. They're in Canada, so their customers have the healthcare to deal with the kidney failure.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2020 23:50

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

That little pause before fully turning around to reveal the Garf frontal. Oh, he knows what he's doing.

# ¿ Aug 7, 2020 19:45

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

EVERY TIME GOING posted:

Nathan's inclination for performative displays of a very disjointed kind coupled with his total lack of business acumen makes it seem like the man's always secretly yearned to be a carnie, more specifically the one in the center of attention as he proudly strolls through the amusement park in his extravagant orange fursuit.

I did wonder if that was Nathen himself wearing the suit. And nothing else, of course.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2020 01:28

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

https://twitter.com/GarfieldEATSapp/status/1303064968317865984

Garfield says, "Holidays reduce profits!"

# ¿ Sep 20, 2020 07:36

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

WeedlordGoku69 posted:

Nickelodeon bought PAWS, INC a while ago, iirc, so any Garfield licensees go through them and not Jim Davis now. They've been doing this a bit lately, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is also 100% owned by them now.

Are you saying I might finally be able to pitch my Garfield/TMNT crossover? The one where Shredder and Jon are trying to create an unholy lasanga/pizza hybrid and the heroes have to team up to stop them?

# ¿ Oct 30, 2020 18:05

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Mordja posted:

Didn't he have another location in, I dunno, Markham or something?

The first one was in Dubai, but I can't tell if it still exists or not either. Then I guess there was supposed to be another in London, Ontario, then next year in real London and Ireland?

https://garfield.fandom.com/wiki/GarfieldEats

# ¿ Nov 13, 2020 08:41

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Killingyouguy! posted:

I think the 'OLDEST' munch squad jacket wearer is Justin McElroy, and apparently the woman is a youtuber called strangeaeons. Idk the rest

StrangeAeons is there because she's a Toronto native and did a few videos on it. There was one where she did a viewer meet-up there but it looks like it's not on YouTube anymore.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FSQaav3b_8

Here's apparently who the others are, but I don't know what they do.
https://twitter.com/mographmike/status/1327346513211691010

BigBadSteve posted:

WORLD'S FIRST mail order lasagna, maybe.

Until UPS or whoever get very annoyed at squashed rotting lasagna and melted ice contaminating other mail they deliver.

That's presuming anybody actually orders one.

There have absolutely been mail-order lasagnas available for ages. SA's favorite food site even has several.
https://www.goldbelly.com/search?q=lasagna

I think it's pretty much guaranteed the mail-order Garfield Eats lasagnas are some other pre-existing lasagna with just a different cover slapped on it. According to the box picture at https://garfieldeats.com/product/frozen-big-cow-lasagna/ it's manufactured by a company called Winona's Harvest, which Google suggests is the same as this company: https://prettospasta.com/. However they don't appear to do direct mail order, so I guess Nathen is innovating.

# ¿ Nov 15, 2020 09:28

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Garfield Ate

# ¿ Nov 28, 2020 22:26

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

deedee megadoodoo posted:

Maybe the order was placed by the real Garfield?

You fool, everyone knows the real Garfield's last name is Arbuckle, as he was legally adopted by Jon in 1994 in a lovely ceremony.

# ¿ Dec 3, 2020 01:51

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Lt. Cock posted:

Will I be able to choose the individual animals whose tongues, intestines, and other miscellaneous parts go into my artisinal dog, like picking a lobster?

# ¿ Dec 6, 2020 00:31

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Lt. Cock posted:

I�m just so curious how Nathen�s father talks about him to other people.

Also I noticed the �jikes� thing going back to early November on the official Twitter so I guess that�s what he�s going with.

Maybe he didn't license the rights to Jinkies with the other Scooby items so he had to come up with a similar-but-legally-distinct phrase, like when a DVD company buys the rights to a show but can't include the original music.

# ¿ Dec 17, 2020 06:40

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Lt. Cock posted:

That�s weird. If I pull it up thru a discord I post in I can still see it.

You�re missing a very catchy theme song.

Is he about to strangle that cat? Is he using it as a stand-in for Garfield for failing him?

# ¿ Dec 21, 2020 22:51

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

You guys forget we've already had Trump-themed foods.

Spoiler alert: the business was unsuccessful.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2021 07:45

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Does this imply they're finally selling lasagna to places that are more than a 10 minute panicked drive from the freezer in Nathen's garage?

# ¿ Jan 29, 2021 06:02

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Bonus:

# ¿ Apr 11, 2021 05:09

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Lieutenant Dan posted:

does this man mean "sausages"

edit: oh god why does he say "ruh-roh", what's in the sausages

Remember that Scooby Doo picture he posted where Velma was mysteriously absent?

# ¿ Apr 14, 2021 01:50

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

Can we talk about how insane this cover is?

I never noticed before that he's wearing his Garfield suit on the cover of his sole non-cartoon-related venture. I think it really is the only suit he owns.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2021 07:36

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

Nathen, that's just the Garfield Orangy Sauce rebranded, isn't it.

It absolutely is, he just picked the orangest sauce in the line-up.

It's also worth noting if you Google "scooby doo sauce" that clip is the first result. I even did this in a private window so as not to taint the results with all my personal Scooby Doo sauce-related endeavors.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2021 08:06

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Detective Thompson posted:

Man, how does he not have a farm2mouth spaghetti meal with a breaded veal cutlet called the Vealma?

Having any kind of connection between the character and the food item is very much against Nathen's brand.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2021 03:01

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

CodfishCartographer posted:

Why does his have the garfield nathen beat the scooby nathen when scooby is the new thing he's actively trying to promote?

My guess is that his heart is still with garfield, and he's just going through the motions with scoob while secretly pining after his lost love.

He was renting the brown suit, the orange suit has to win because it's the only one he owns.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2021 21:49

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

goodog posted:

Either Nathen found this thread or someone paid him $99 on Cameo to do a shout-out.

Alright, whoever bought this out yourself so we can shame you.

# ¿ May 29, 2021 03:28

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Skyscraper Raccoon posted:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3884709&userid=99627#post498809423

Huh, I must have blocked that from my memory, for evident reasons.

# ¿ Jun 2, 2021 21:43

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Agent Escalus posted:

So that you could re-live it again for the first time?

Relive what again for the first time?

# ¿ Jun 3, 2021 00:45

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

That led me to check what the various Twitters have been up to, apparently Nathen's making an autobiographical Broadway musical.

https://twitter.com/nathenmazri/status/1404938492333993986

# ¿ Jun 22, 2021 21:25

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Lieutenant Dan posted:

I'm not sure what encountering Nathen on like, Grindr would be like. Does he mention Garf and/or Scoob in his profile? Do you think he'd try to upsell me a scoobert burger before all the weiner business?

He absolutely plugs the "World's Youngest _____ Licensee" on there.

# ¿ Jul 11, 2021 08:02

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Lieutenant Dan posted:

No sane man would slap Big Cow on he own lasagna

(serious answer: I am guessing he's sourcing these frozen meals from a place that already churns them out, then packing them in his own branding, and not actually developing proprietary frozen lasagna recipes for his cartoon restaurant, so maybe? He DID put effort into his Arbuckle sauce, after all)

I tracked this down further up the thread, you're correct.

Knormal posted:

I think it's pretty much guaranteed the mail-order Garfield Eats lasagnas are some other pre-existing lasagna with just a different cover slapped on it. According to the box picture at https://garfieldeats.com/product/frozen-big-cow-lasagna/ it's manufactured by a company called Winona's Harvest, which Google suggests is the same as this company: https://prettospasta.com/. However they don't appear to do direct mail order, so I guess Nathen is innovating.

However "Big Cow" is all Nathen, as the actual manufacturer appears to be a real respectable business. The orange sauce is probably his too, just plopped on the noodles in their factories.

# ¿ Jul 23, 2021 22:46

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Lieutenant Dan posted:

Finally, the proverbial Big Cow

Those cows are shamefully Small.

# ¿ Jul 30, 2021 04:20

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

pseudanonymous posted:

I think it's this.

Yeah, it's either AI-written, or written by someone else with an even worse grasp of the English language than Nathen. All the articles on the site have the same awkward wording.

https://heightzone.com/bachelor-in-paradise-is-david-spade-gay/

# ¿ Aug 24, 2021 19:07

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

reignofevil posted:

Ah, but one can achieve immortality by living on through pizzas shaped like one's face.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2021 20:43

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 11:48

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Escape From Noise posted:

I almost forgot he was the youngest Garfield licensee. Good thing he reminded us!

Anyone have a kid they can get in some kind of deal as a Garfield licensee? I want to watch Nathen explode.

# ¿ Sep 26, 2021 05:46

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > GarfieldEats: I have returned to what I love; cereal boxes and coloring

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