Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Squashing Machine posted:

Not sure what Luke's talking about in the trailer, she trained with him for like two days and obviously had more to tell him about the ways of the world than the other way around. Then she beat him up. It would be like if Luke threw Yoda into a tree halfway in and then he said "you have learned everything there is to know about the force"

Just pretend the 2nd movie never happened

# ¿ Apr 12, 2019 21:54

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 01:43

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

basic hitler posted:

I hate george Lucas but i admire this 4D chess move. Like disney star wars is truly awful. He got mad at the fans for being mad at him, cashed out to the worst game in town and sat back while they turned a gigantic piece of boomer amd gen x nostalgia into the blandest pap ever made

And then regularly pops in interviews saying �ohhhh, I regret this so much, I had sooooooooo many cool ideas 😥�

# ¿ Apr 12, 2019 22:11

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Star wars. Start wars never changes.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2019 01:37

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

The actor doesn�t even need to die

Like, they changed Iron Man�s Black Buddy from one film to the next, no acknowledgement whatsoever, and everyone was Iike �yeah that guys cool�

# ¿ Apr 13, 2019 01:39

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

504 posted:

I look forward to streaming this film from a dodgy Chinese website one night to play in the background while I game on my tablet.

The only way to enjoy cinema afaik

# ¿ Apr 13, 2019 01:57

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

DemoneeHo posted:

"Wrap it up nerds, a real man doesn't watch Star Wars ever"

https://twitter.com/OfWudan/status/1116797166742323200

I wish I had more money for hookers

# ¿ Apr 13, 2019 03:04

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Hairy Busey posted:

Stop buying video games

# ¿ Apr 13, 2019 03:18

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Star Wars X Opening crawl:

The REPUBLIC has built the SPACE WALL, but Emperor Dolan Tro�m still hunts dirty rebels outside his grasp... etc etc

# ¿ Apr 13, 2019 05:21

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Tip posted:

The Goonies, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Edward Scissorhands, the Breakfast Club, True Lies, Good Will Hunting, Up, District 9, Pulp Fiction, Beetlejuice, the Fifth Element, Galaxy Quest, Office Space, Labyrinth, Coming to America, Shaun of the Dead, Groundhog Day, The Professional, The Usual Suspects, Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, The Sixth Sense, Inception, and Titanic.

Pretty sure there's more.

I bet a bunch of these have a remake/reboot or script in various stages of production

# ¿ Apr 13, 2019 05:38

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Did anyone say Star war? Love it!

# ¿ Apr 17, 2019 18:20

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

sebmojo posted:

but doctor i am the new star wars trailer

# ¿ Apr 18, 2019 02:05

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

skasion posted:

this is bad faith argumentation basically. People got buttmad about Phantom Menace being not as good as their own idea of Star Wars and began to say things like �Lucas is an idiot/incompetent� and �Lucas� movies were only good because of [other person conveniently not working on these movies]� and then started out looking at the other prequels in a way that would support these prejudices, instead of paying attention to what is shown on screen and trying to understand it.

Like, Padme�s death is LITERALLY explained in the dialogue. Palpatine tells Vader that he, Vader, killed her. She didn�t die of a �broken heart� (this phrase never appears in the movie; it�s just a joke based on Portman�s terrible delivery of the line �Anakin, you�re breaking my heart!!!!� earlier when he breaks her heart, a while before he kills her, which he does).

I haven't seen the movie in ages but, at the time, I thought it was implied that the Emperor killed her, and he was just blaming Vader to push him into the Dark Side even further

QuarkJets posted:

Same

Some people in a different thread recommended the Darth Vader comic series made by Marvel, I got a chance to read them last month and they own. Some of them take place before A New Hope, some after. There's plenty of stupid poo poo but the focus is on Darth Vader being an intense unrelenting murderer

It's very good for like 5 issues, then it slowly decreases in quality until in like issue 18 you realize you're reading the bullshit adventures of Dr. Jafra and her 2 sarcastic murder robots who are mirror dark side copies of Threepio and R2, and they're trying to turn Darth Vader into an anti-hero and then it's time to put it down for good

Comfy Fleece Sweater fucked around with this message at 06:43 on Apr 19, 2019

# ¿ Apr 19, 2019 06:40

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Cosmik Slop posted:

Why the gently caress is Rey standing in the middle of a huge barren plain while (presumably) Kylo hauls rear end at her in a TIE fighter other than "let's make her do a sweet backflip"

God dammit I am tired of the Star Wars sucking so bad

Sounds like you�ll have to tune in to find out!!!

Applewhite posted:

I think the running is what ruins it. If she just stayed still until the last second, then did like a crouch and swing to slice the whole spaceship in half in a single stroke, then launched straight into a lightsaber duel with Kylo as he leaps from the two dividing halves of the spaceship, I might be like "ok that was p. cool."

Yeah, unfortunately she�s one of those funny runners, like Steven Segal.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2019 16:51

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Mooey Cow posted:

Someone saw some similarities between the TIE chase and the cropduster scene from North by Northwest. Sadly Cary Grant never backflipped over a plane

Well of course, as a great connoisseur of cinema, I�ve noticed lots of references to great works in Star War

Like when the emperor looks out a window, that�s a ref to Rear Window

And when the spaceship has technical problems, that�s a reference to Nightmare at 20,000 feet

If you read CineD you�d know all these things and more

# ¿ Apr 19, 2019 17:07

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

skasion posted:

Moreover, all of Star Wars and its fandom is a reference to that one bit in The Hidden Fortress where Peasant R2D2 tells Peasant C3PO �shitworms can�t smell poo poo�

Never heard of it

# ¿ Apr 19, 2019 17:22

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Backweb posted:

Hey Episode 9 thread. Long time listener. First time caller. I want to contribute my steaming hot take.

Anyway, so far we've seen a teaser which I assume means absolutely bumkiss in relation to the movie plot. Like how Rogue One had that TIE Fighter be all "hey gurl" on the Scarif broadcasting tower but was never in the film. I bet when we actually see Episode 9 Rey won't be facing down Kylo Ren's modified TIE Fighter at all... Instead it'll just be more turning and running and turning for a training montage.

What I really wanna talk about is the decline in the quality of Star Wars memes. Memes based on the OT aren't really memes, but are cultural references, while the prequels are essentially the meme-generators of the entire franchise. The worldbuilding and expanse of the universe and stories really offer a lot. The sequels, being super bland and stockholder-inoffensive, give us nothing to make memes about. As a result, you can only shitpost them.

OT memes (aka Star Wars): Heartfelt deconstructions of a really good trilogy (see references in Muppet Babies, Family Guy, etc)
PT memes (Start Wars! Attack of Your Mom!): Dumb commentary, shitpost memes with a point, deconstructions, analogies to dumb IRL poo poo, bad movies are fun, etc.
ST memes (Luke Georgewalker's Dada SterWerns featuring Ben Swolo ): Absolutely no memes you can relate to. So sterile it's just shitposts, shitposts, shitposts all the way down!

While your memeology isn�t off the mark, I�d point out that it took a good 15 years for prequel memes to become a thing. Before that, the hate for the prequels overshadowed the �awww, I guess they were flawed but original� perception they have today

# ¿ Apr 19, 2019 20:57

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

*begins chanting*
Star Wars, Star Wars, Star Wars!!

# ¿ Apr 20, 2019 00:50

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Chrpno posted:

Everybody wants to be Space Ghost
Everybody near and far

# ¿ Apr 21, 2019 01:35

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Any funny alternative names for this surely great movie?

Haven't seen one that makes me chuckle. Gotta get them ready for release night at 12am

Star Wars : The Lies of Skywalker... ehh... The Red Eyes of Skywalker... ehhh... more fun than Davy Jones' Locker?

# ¿ Dec 2, 2019 00:29

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Now I get why this thread is rated "2"

# ¿ Dec 4, 2019 22:18

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

I don't know, never really had that problem. Everything I like is cool.

# ¿ Dec 5, 2019 06:18

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

I heard the final edit wasn't even finished like a week ago

# ¿ Dec 11, 2019 20:31

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Xaintrailles posted:

Of TLJ?

of Episode 2 and 3

I found out today they were shot at 1080p with digital cameras lol

https://www.avsforum.com/forum/44-movies-concerts-music-discussion/1178191-star-wars-ep-ll-lll-shot-only-1080p.html

# ¿ Dec 11, 2019 20:47

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Regardless of recent movies, this is cool

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lw88nyiuo6Q

# ¿ Dec 11, 2019 22:17

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Disney Marketer:
These numbers aren't great, we need more hype. Methinks like a lil' controversy is just what Star Wars needs right before release :cool:

*Goes on twitter*

*immediately closes browser*

Nope. That's not what Star Wars needed

# ¿ Dec 11, 2019 23:07

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Chomp8645 posted:

First you're a racist if you don't like star wars.

Now you're a racist if you do like star wars.

I just can't keep up with these star wars.

If you can't handle these Star Wars, you're gonna hate the race wars

# ¿ Dec 11, 2019 23:13

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

It's sad that Finn didn't become the awesome character promised in the first trailers for the new trilogy

For that matter, every new character seemed awesome and cool, and the actors were great and mostly unknown, casting agency knocked it out of the park in general

Great character ideas in the first movie, even Captain Phasma looked cool as hell

Daisy Ridley seems like a great person, Adam Driver is an amazing actor (just saw him in Marriage Story), the guy who plays Poe is great in other movies

It all falls flat in the actual movies, but hey, cool ideas anyway

# ¿ Dec 13, 2019 06:43

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Dooku sounds like dookie 💩

# ¿ Dec 14, 2019 05:37

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Owlbear Camus posted:

I would assume most of them are leftovers who were serving under whatever General or Admiral or Moff decided to be Warlord of their little piece of the pie after it crumbled post-Endor.

Almost every source depicts them as hopelessly indocrinated to the point of brainwashing so when Imperial Territorial Marshal Dipshit McGee says "we will keep the Empire going here in the Ibaar system, the Emperor may be dead but the Empire is eternal" they salute and get back to their post.

This is directly and strongly contradicted by Official Canon main storyline movie �The Force Awakens via a Star War�, where a stormtrooper is a janitor and also leaves the empire very easily ? So I think you�re very incorrect, good day

# ¿ Dec 15, 2019 00:16

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

I remember reading the Zahn trilogy when I was a kid. Thrawn owned, they should�ve just followed that storyline

# ¿ Dec 15, 2019 06:36

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

A Death Star, but deader and gayer

# ¿ Dec 15, 2019 07:02

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Star BORE if you ask me

# ¿ Dec 16, 2019 06:06

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

The Breakfast Sampler posted:

now that i'm thinking about it, there's no way that walt disney wasn't a huge sex weirdo, right?

There�s famous stories about mr. Walt getting up to shenanigans in club 33 at Disney, which out of respect for the ladies present I won�t deign to repeat, suffice to say they are of a most scandalous quality

# ¿ Dec 16, 2019 21:11

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Yeah, this whole �empire ideology is complicated� just ruined the whole thing, even more than midichlorians ever did

It was a nice dumb fantasy about good vs clearly labeled evil, but now it might be a metaphor for boomers vs millennials, or gently caress I don�t know, they fly now

# ¿ Dec 16, 2019 21:38

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Big fan of Magufu Nandabu

# ¿ Dec 17, 2019 05:53

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

toggle posted:

any fisting in this?

Apparently the audience gets it

# ¿ Dec 17, 2019 06:48

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

So this is how democracy dies... with a piss saber

# ¿ Dec 18, 2019 22:51

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Rian did nothing wrong

# ¿ Dec 18, 2019 23:20

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Do you think Rey holds her piss lightsaber like it�s a penis and turns it on slowly and goes �Hey Kyle, check it out I�m peeing lol�

# ¿ Dec 19, 2019 05:14

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 01:43

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

People who say the Vader scenes are gratuitous pandering have no idea what they're talking about because Rogue One has the best prequel depiction of the character by far. ANH Vader is a literal horror movie monster who strikes fear into allies and enemies alike with his imposing presence and body language alone. Rogue One expands on this by giving him a super rad spooky Sith castle and then he murders an entire ship of Rebels in seconds.

But I assume all of you haters have either no understanding of Darth Vader as a character and/or haven't seen ANH in many years.

Actually Darth Vader is a whiny boy who gets sand in his underwear

# ¿ Dec 20, 2019 07:16

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