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skasion posted:“Skywalker” is going to become a title for a knight of the force and replace “Jedi”. Book it It's 100% either this, or Rey actually is the daughter of nobodies and she takes the name for whatever reason I'm on board for fat Lando
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Apr 12, 2019 19:44
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also this is absolutely the wreck of the death star which means the Emperor probably survived the end of ROTJ and is the real face behind the power, which is dumb as gently caress e: like "evil force ghost emperor" would have been alright but "actually he's been living in the ruins of the giant space station we specifically saw explode into dust" is  as hell
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Apr 12, 2019 19:45
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:or there was a third Death Star somewhere along the way. not sure which is dumber honestly I do like the idea that it wiped out the Ewoks though
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Apr 12, 2019 20:59
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WatermelonGun posted:the ewoks are fine It's less that I think they suck and more that I think it was silly that a moon-sized object got blown up right above them and then we see them partying with the main characters like giant metal shards aren't falling from the sky
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Apr 12, 2019 21:08
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I guess it could be Yavin if it's the 1st Death Star but then why would the Emperor be living in it please kill me too
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Apr 12, 2019 21:38
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Palpatine's not back, some yoyo's been using deep machine learning to make holograms of Palpatine and broadcast them through the galaxy selling erectile dysfunction pills. The reistsnace has tracked down the origin of the spam holograms to the wreckage of the 3rd Death Star that Jabba the Hutt's family built (this part actually happened in the old books lol)
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Apr 12, 2019 21:46
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WatermelonGun posted:they’re showing off a new game tomorrow maybe this one will actually come out. Is it that stupid Vader VR game they announced a couple hours ago?
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Apr 12, 2019 22:42
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I liked the Extra Snoke Tanks wish they had given even the slightest explanation for the dudes with the Kylo masks and regular weapons though - I thought they were supposed to be Kylo's personal posse, so I'm not sure why they turned on him at the end.
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Dec 20, 2019 08:39
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Yolomon Wayne posted:Yes she had, cause its a star wars, and everything has to be interconnected. lol that they killed the old canon where everything/everyone was connected just to do the exact same thing
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Dec 20, 2019 08:40
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Barudak posted:Its almost like hack authors are drawn to the same tropes yeah that's kind of what I was implying
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Dec 20, 2019 10:05
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An Ounce of Gold posted:It's about as fun as going to an old folks home and watching the people there sit around in chairs. Someone at Lucas really likes doing "face peel off" VFX because that's how the giant tentacle monster in Solo dies too
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Dec 20, 2019 16:48
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The Walrus posted:can any EU people please tell me Serious Post: the EU isn't canon anymore, it can't save you 1. they're the spirits of all the past Sith that Sheev was talking about. 2. The Star Destroyers were presumably crewed by First Order people (they vaguely mention something like "drat we're maxed out on staff we better go kidnap more kids"). The new canon is shaping up to be just like the old one so that whole thing will almost certainly be covered in excruciating detail in a tie-in novel. 3. 
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Dec 20, 2019 16:53
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The Walrus posted:Palpy's death was not as stupid as I thought it would be, I actually liked that whole last scene really up until Ren came back. The voices of the past Jedi was the closest thing to what this movie should have been (like jesus you can't have one throwaway line at the beginning and then make that your climax, it should be the whole central part of rey's journey, not some hackneyed 'you belong to the dark side' stuff From how she was holding the lightsabers I definitely thought/hoped she was just gonna guillotine him like Anakin did to Count Dookie e: Compiling a list of "plot threads that were brought up and never resolved": 1. who the gently caress are the Knights of Ren and if they're Kylo's handpicked personal posse, why do they turn against him at the end (I guess the answer is "like everything else in Kylo's life they were installed there by Sheev") 2. if Snoke was just a vat-grown clone with 1 purpose, why did Sheev have tanks full of other Snokes 3. What exactly is different with the red-armored stormtroopers? I thought they'd be force-sensitive or something but I don't even think they had special guns or fancy other weapons. 4. Why was it important to zoom in on that one old general (the one who shoots Hux) as he says "I will serve you just like I did during the Empire"? Who cares? 5. Why bother showing Rey's actual parents for like 5 seconds but not explaining anything about them? Which one of them was Sheev's actual son/daughter? It would have had the same emotional effect if they went "you're Sheev's clone and your parents really were just scavenger nobodies who bought you and then sold you" without making the audience wonder who Sheev hosed. 6. who cares about Poe's sketchy past lol Snow Cone Capone fucked around with this message at 17:01 on Dec 20, 2019 |
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Dec 20, 2019 16:54
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Just Chamber posted:I don't think that's established at all. The power of the sith is inside him because like he's found some way to absorb it or that's just what happens when you're the last sith like Rey being the last jedi. They're most likely just some cult subjects and the dudes in hoods we see fiddling with Palpatine life support or whatver at the beginning when he's talking to Kylo. Honestly either explanation is equally likely if you base it just on what was said/shown but I think "the spirits of dead Sith" fits thematically a bit more, considering the all the force ghosts that show up throughout (and kind of mirrors the whole "Rey connecting with all the spirits of dead Jedi who talk to her" Just Chamber posted:Also it been shown that Palpatine can't just turn the lightning off when under duress, hence why windu reflects it back and when he's falling into the death star still shooting so I had no issue with that really.  but I was fine with it mostly because at that point his alternative was...turn off the force lightning and get decapitated by 2 lightsabersI like your explanation better though since it gels more with "Rey used force lightning and it was pretty obviously totally out of her control"
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Dec 20, 2019 17:18
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punk rebel ecks posted:Maybe not for me. I enjoyed all 3 but I guess I'm a giant dumbass with zero standards or something 
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Dec 20, 2019 17:55
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The Walrus posted:1. six toys!! six of them!! 2. Realistically, IMO it was just JJ assuming people wouldn't be smart enough to understand that "Snoke was nobody" without beating the audience over the head with the image of 3 more Snokes growing in a tank 4. that's dumb as hell, everyone in the theater recognized most of the callback cameos (the theater went apeshit when Wedge shows up for 3 seconds) so I'm really boggled at why they bothered connecting that rando to the OT (I like how he dies though) 5. Oh was it mentioned that the dad was Sheev's kid and not the mom? That whole sequence was over super-fast, even relative to the breakneck pace of the whole movie. Agreed on everything for MERCHANDISING but drat put a tiny bit of effort in, you've been hyping the knights of ren for 3 movies and their grand total role is 10 seconds of fighting and then dying like bitches lol. Same with the red troopers - ROTJ and TFA had red stormtrooper variations that were notably "special" but these guys literally just seemed like normal-rear end cannon fodder white stormtroopers I would also probably watch a Poe Solo tv series. The Walrus posted:now that I think about it I'm near 100 certain they are just the sith planet equivalent of the nuns on jedi island Could be, the issue I have is that there's literally no explanation given whatsoever, so I latched on to the closest hint in the movie (they don't seem to be in the room until Sheev goes Super Saiyan Sith Lord either IIRC) Snow Cone Capone fucked around with this message at 18:27 on Dec 20, 2019 |
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Dec 20, 2019 18:22
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One major gripe I had was that the title of the movie really doesn't come into play until the last scene, and it's pretty dumb. I legit thought Rey and Kylo were gonna do some crazy thing at the end to rebalance the force or whatever, and they were gonna train a new order of space wizards called Skywalkers instead of Jedi e: not to mention the fact that Rey naming herself after her dead fake parents completely flies in the face of the "kill your past, move forward, new merchandising opportunities" message they were pushing so hard in TLJ/TFA.
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Dec 20, 2019 19:29
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Emrikol posted:Nah, that's dumb. You don't need some conspiracy theory to explain why there's new troopers and spaceships and poo poo in Star Wars. the OT and prequels had like a dozen kinds of clone/stormtroopers too, it's not like "Stormtroopers but the helmet is slightly different and they have a flamethrower" is a post-Lucas concept Emrikol posted:They're red because Palpatine. Palpatine's guards wore red, and this is Palpatine's personal secret Imperial army, so they're red stormtroopers. This ties into the earlier "how did the First Order suddenly have enough people to man 10,000 Star Destroyers" thing, in that it's entirely glossed over. I don't think Sheev ever actually mentions that he has his own secret army, just that he was building up the fleet in secret. The whole conceit is that he's been hiding away in the middle of nowhere - someone probably would have noticed a steady influx of people loving off to unknown space over the years. Snow Cone Capone fucked around with this message at 19:35 on Dec 20, 2019 |
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Dec 20, 2019 19:32
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Best Bi Geek Squid posted:I was confused - but not necessarily put off - by the decision to have 20 solid minutes of a flashback in which Luke just goes to town on that space cow's titties Realtalk though how loving jarring was that scene with the de-aging CGI on Luke and Leia
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Dec 20, 2019 19:35
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Knight posted:Everyone's going to judge this differently but I thought Mark Hamill's younger version was fine but Carrie Fisher's was bad. Wife didn't recognize that any part of Carrie Fisher's scenes (young and old) was CGI. I thought they looked OK, Luke was better but you see them for all of 2 seconds so it was hard to tell
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Dec 20, 2019 19:47
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Arc Light posted:No no no. It's the old "stop hitting yourself" loophole. lol this is funny on its own but even funnier that it's the actual explanation also, I could probably gloss over Sheev surviving being thrown down a big shaft (it's happened a bunch of times to other characters), but surviving the actual explosion of the death star stretches even my forgiving imagination. I dunno why they didn't go with "he planned his death and had clones waiting," especially since a) Sheev loving with clones was a major plot point in the prequels and b) they literally show the Snoke tanks to rub your face in the whole "he's loving with cloning" thing. Oh and c) "clones of the emperor" was A Thing in the old EU and they've been pulling poo poo from there into the new canon since the day they made the big change. Snow Cone Capone fucked around with this message at 19:52 on Dec 20, 2019 |
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Dec 20, 2019 19:48
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Broke, new canon: Emperor "Sheev" Palpatine Woke, old canon: 
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Dec 20, 2019 19:54
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Best Bi Geek Squid posted:the "we had a clone of the emperor waiting but cloning is hard so he's all hosed up and rotted from the dark side" angle would have made sense and been easy to explain. but instead they're just like "don't worry about it" I like this a lot actually I did think the whole "embedded in a giant robot arm hanging from the ceiling" thing looked pretty cool though, got some GladOS from Portal vibes
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Dec 20, 2019 20:02
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:It's even dumber when you think about the whole premise of the film is Kylo Ren, and by extension the rest of the cast, is trying to find Palpatine by tracking down an ancient Sith artifact, but uh, the Emperor is moving around tens of thousands of First Order troops all along. How in the heck would no one in the entire galaxy follow FO ship movements and locate Palpatine in the 30+ years since this has been happening? It's almost less believable than the dude surviving the Death Star explosion. Chomp8645 posted:It's entirely glossed over without explanation because there is no explanation that could possibly make any sense. It is a scenario that is inherently nonsensical. Just going "no why" is better than trying to explain it, because any attempt to do so would only make it sound more ridiculous than it already is. one of the new book trilogies explains it in exhaustive detail but the gist is that he'd been planning this since the beginning; the original plan was to blow up Jakku during the final Empire/Republic battle and wipe both factions out and start again, using a fleet/troops he'd been building up in the Unknown Regions since before the fall of the old Republic https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Contingency e: 
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Dec 20, 2019 20:38
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Chomp8645 posted:Yeah I'm not gonna read that poo poo. From your summary it seems to confirm my assertion that "any explanation they try is worse than 'no why' " Eh, if you can believe the whole "my entire plan across 9 movies was to have you, my granddaughter, kill me and make me immortal" thing, then "also I built a bunch of spaceship factories out in the middle of nowhere 80 years ago and they've been pumping out star destroyers nonstop ever since" isn't that much of a stretch I think. Sheev just did an Early Expand build is all. e: but also loving laffo at a gigantic fleet being entirely dependent on 2 small antennas to get off the ground
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Dec 20, 2019 20:46
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I thought it was Lucas' original intention that Anakin did, in fact, bring balance to the force (by ensuring that the 2 remaining Sith killed off all but 2 remaining Jedi lol) e: that is, the Jedi weren't technically wrong they just went all-in on the optimistic interpretation of the prophecy (because they're dumb and incompetent) e2: did he get powercucked out of Star Wars before or after all the cartoons and stuff came out? I feel like it would make sense that the dozens of apparent Jedi survivors of the purge were someone else's creations. Snow Cone Capone fucked around with this message at 22:09 on Dec 20, 2019 |
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Dec 20, 2019 22:06
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:That's somehow more utterly insipid than what actually happens in the movie from the first paragraph of that Wookiepedia article alone. Why? I mean I'm not trying to defend the dumb poo poo Star Wars throws at people, but I don't think it's that stupid. He had a plan in place in case he died, and the plan included both rebuilding in secret, as well as a big ol' "gently caress you" to the people that let him die. Seems pretty standard supervillain stuff to me.
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Dec 20, 2019 22:20
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Gianthogweed posted:The whole "bring balance to the force" thing never made sense to me. Doesn't balance mean that the light would balance out the dark? So how would completely killing off the Sith so only the light side exists be the balance? bc the Jedi were dumbasses and assumed that since their way is the only way, "balancing the force" meant eradicating the dark side for some reason (the reason is they were dumbasses)
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Dec 20, 2019 22:31
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literally a hog posted:Also if you wanted to hear what Palpatines broadcast to the galaxy was they actually played it in Fortnite as one of the tie ins: Ok hiding critical lore in tie-in novels is one thing, but lmao at hiding critical lore in a Fortnite event the future really is now
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Dec 20, 2019 22:33
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Moola posted:lol I though Death Star Destroyers was a joke holy poo poo "It's a moon-sized space station that can blow up planets" "It's an even bigger space station that can blow up planets" "It's a planet base that can blow up planets" "gently caress it, all the ships blow up planets now"
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Dec 20, 2019 23:02
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Oh yeah one thing that stood out as supremely dumb: I can suspend disbelief about a lot of poo poo regarding Sheev surviving and coming back, but "this ancient dagger is a treasure map that secretly forms an exact copy of 1 very specific piece of debris from the Death Star" was just 
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Dec 20, 2019 23:41
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Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:Haven’t seen the new movie and probably no he's dead but they primed like 3 or 4 different new sub-franchises with this movie
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Dec 20, 2019 23:54
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The Bloop posted:The movie was super fun and had big crazy awesome set pieces and Ashoka Tano Where? I kept an eye out but I just assumed they got her VA to record one of the 30 overlaid lines from famous Jedi that Rey hears
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Dec 21, 2019 13:43
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Abongination posted:“Oh no, droid with catch phrases and wide market appeal has been physically and mentally abused by previous owner. It’s cool droid, u roll with us now” I like "no thank you" as a response to physical contact though and will be adopting it
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Dec 21, 2019 14:55
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I liked that they literally called out how dumb/emotionally manipulative the whole "3po loses his memory" thing "i'm just taking a good long last look at my best friends  (((""wait doesn't R2 make backups for you" "uhhh they're unreliable!" *15 minutes later* it was real dumb.
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Dec 21, 2019 14:59
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broke: kill the past woke: falsely revitalize an extinct bloodline
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Dec 21, 2019 15:23
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olives black posted:Okay then, what's your reading of the film? No subjectivity at all, please, per your own standards. It is a movie about wars in the stars
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Dec 21, 2019 17:46
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Bonaventure posted:so this is Cinema Discusso
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Dec 21, 2019 18:03
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mazzi Chart Czar posted:What is "impact" to you? 
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Dec 21, 2019 22:22
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mazzi Chart Czar posted:Music is the language of feelings. Is english your second language or are you drunkposting
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Dec 22, 2019 02:58
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