We must repopulate the smurf village!! :(

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > We must repopulate the smurf village!! :(

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Galaxander

Chilly Smurf

-always shivering
-wears a scarf and mittens
-still no shirt though

Chili Smurf

-good cook
-farts a lot

# ? Feb 8, 2020 12:12

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 29, 2024 17:10

Escape From Noise

Eiffel 65 Smurf

-Is blue
-da ba dee da ba daa da ba dee da ba daa
-da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa

# ? Feb 8, 2020 19:43

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Fucky Smurf

- everybody hates him
- they hate looking at him
- it's not his fault
- didn't ask for this
- doesn't even gently caress that much
- owns a lamp store
- likes lamps
- likes helping people find the right lamp for them
- would prefer to be called "Lampy Smurf"

Cubone fucked around with this message at 06:06 on Feb 9, 2020

# ? Feb 9, 2020 04:21

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Cubone posted:

Fucky Smurf

- everybody hates him
- they hate looking at him
- it's not his fault
- didn't ask for this
- doesn't even gently caress that much
- owns a lamp store
- likes lamps
- likes helping people find the right lamp for them
- would prefer to be called "Lampy Smurf"

Poor Fucky

# ? Feb 9, 2020 09:38

City of Glompton

Harry Potter Smurf

- it's Harry Potter
- he's blue!
- gargamel failed to eat him

# ? Feb 9, 2020 09:42

Escape From Noise

Gargamel Smurf

-It's actually just Gargamel painted blue.
-He's back to finish the job.
-RUN!

# ? Feb 9, 2020 09:44

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

I think with the proper support net, Gargamel can be reformed and happily assimilated into the United Smurf Conglomerate.

Cubone posted:

Fucky Smurf

- everybody hates him
- they hate looking at him
- it's not his fault
- didn't ask for this
- doesn't even gently caress that much
- owns a lamp store
- likes lamps
- likes helping people find the right lamp for them
- would prefer to be called "Lampy Smurf"

i would not kick this bed out of smurf for eating crackers inside the bed

# ? Feb 9, 2020 15:17

DeathCrabForCutie: oh fuc-

Angler Smurf

-Has a glowing lure dangling from his face
-Can see in the dark and breathe underwater
-Has a huge underbite and sharp teeth
-lives in a pond
-forehead lure can both attract and momentarily blind smurfs and other prey

sig by Pot Smoke Phoenix!

# ? Feb 10, 2020 00:11

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

terminator smurf
-is a robot disguised as a smurf
-sent back in time to kill connors smurf
-turns into the protagonist in the sequel

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Feb 10, 2020 23:25

cda: by Hand Knit

City of Glompton posted:

Harry Potter Smurf

- it's Harry Potter
- he's blue!
- gargamel failed to eat him

Haha

# ? Feb 11, 2020 00:52

Vitamin Me

Nosfereefer posted:

terminator smurf
-is a robot disguised as a smurf
-sent back in time to kill connors smurf
-turns into the protagonist in the sequel

This thread is great for drawing inspiration

# ? Feb 11, 2020 16:26

City of Glompton

Vitamin Me posted:

This thread is great for drawing inspiration

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Feb 11, 2020 16:29

alnilam

Vitamin Me posted:

This thread is great for drawing inspiration

Smurf with me if you want to live

# ? Feb 11, 2020 16:35

google THIS

alnilam posted:

Smurf with me if you want to live

# ? Feb 11, 2020 17:30

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

alnilam posted:

Smurf with me if you want to live

# ? Feb 11, 2020 17:53

Goons Are Gifts

alnilam posted:

Smurf with me if you want to live

# ? Feb 11, 2020 18:19

Twenty Four

Vitamin Me posted:

This thread is great for drawing inspiration

alnilam posted:

Smurf with me if you want to live

I need your Smurf, your Smurfs, and your Smurforcycle.

# ? Feb 11, 2020 20:51

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

Vitamin Me posted:

This thread is great for drawing inspiration

alnilam posted:

Smurf with me if you want to live

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Feb 11, 2020 21:25

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

Vitamin Me posted:

This thread is great for drawing inspiration

right you are

because of this thread i can draw a smurf without even thinking, smurf forever etched in my mind

# ? Feb 12, 2020 00:51

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Plant MONSTER. posted:

right you are

because of this thread i can draw a smurf without even thinking, smurf forever etched in my mind

indeed. I had never drawn a smurf before this thread. BYOB does strange and wonderful things to us all.

# ? Feb 12, 2020 01:03

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

a post that is a post but can also be a poem:

sad smurf

-always weeping

mad smurf

-always beeping (as in censored swears)

ballet smurf

-always leaping

fatal familial insomnia smurf

-never sleeping

# ? Feb 14, 2020 03:29

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

Smooblurf

# ? Feb 14, 2020 05:06

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

that game doesn't have starmie in it :/

# ? Feb 14, 2020 05:35

City of Glompton

prepuce repurposed posted:

Smooblurf

smurfed again

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Feb 14, 2020 05:48

google THIS

Irony Smurf

- actually isn't very ironic at all, making that the only ironic thing about him
- didn't think this through
- wants a do-over

# ? Feb 16, 2020 01:28

pixaal: All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

google THIS posted:

Irony Smurf

- actually isn't very ironic at all, making that the only ironic thing about him
- didn't think this through
- wants a do-over

Good at ironing clothing

# ? Feb 16, 2020 21:45

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

when bored i consult talk to transformer and it has taught me lots about smurfs. The only question I asked was: "What are all the different smurfs?" and here's what it had to say:

-Everybody has their own smurf. An individual smurf can be identified as belonging to a certain social category.

-Unlike regular trading economies, smurfs aren't in the habit of trading goods with each other. Instead, each smurf has a unique number which is his unique item name, and is either the item or a piece of clothing that smurfs need to appear as though they're that smurf. To have an item that a smurf knows about, a smurf has to wear or have its other item names associated with it. The trade protocol is different for each smurf.

-You can recognize a smurf by the following characteristics: A goofy logo...

-There are three basic types of smurfs: child smurfs (whose parent smurfs are physically attached to them), parent smurfs (which only "recently" got that parent smurf), and external smurfs (which have their own log files, in the canonical location specified for their parent smurfs).

-So, in the snow of December 2016 a smurf was elected leader of Canada.

-In short, a smurf is a nickname assigned to someone who has just registered an account on FFXI. They don't know anything about the game and have probably never even made a real character before.

# ? Feb 20, 2020 03:17

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Plant MONSTER. posted:

when bored i consult talk to transformer and it has taught me lots about smurfs. The only question I asked was: "What are all the different smurfs?" and here's what it had to say:

-Everybody has their own smurf. An individual smurf can be identified as belonging to a certain social category.

-Unlike regular trading economies, smurfs aren't in the habit of trading goods with each other. Instead, each smurf has a unique number which is his unique item name, and is either the item or a piece of clothing that smurfs need to appear as though they're that smurf. To have an item that a smurf knows about, a smurf has to wear or have its other item names associated with it. The trade protocol is different for each smurf.

-You can recognize a smurf by the following characteristics: A goofy logo...

-There are three basic types of smurfs: child smurfs (whose parent smurfs are physically attached to them), parent smurfs (which only "recently" got that parent smurf), and external smurfs (which have their own log files, in the canonical location specified for their parent smurfs).

-So, in the snow of December 2016 a smurf was elected leader of Canada.

-In short, a smurf is a nickname assigned to someone who has just registered an account on FFXI. They don't know anything about the game and have probably never even made a real character before.

oh hell yeah, transformer. tell me about smurf reproduction, transformer.

"Smurfs reproduce sexually by using a prosthetic penis made out of an oversized carrot. They also will hump everything in sight. The only thing they won't do is stand or sit or crouch."

Perfect, thank you.

# ? Feb 20, 2020 03:41

google THIS

Here is a list of all the smurfs:

- Papa Smurf
- ????????? ??????? ???

- Elf Smurf

- Spider Smurf

- Snails Smurf

- Smelly Joe

- Velociraptor Smurf

- Fighting Smurf

- Lizard Smurf

- Porky Smurf

- Scary Pumpkin Smurf

- Kraken

- Bill Pepper

- Slushie

- Stretch Nelson

- Whom Smurf

- Chocolate Treat

- Peanut Butter Cookie

- Frying Pan

- Clam

- Chuck E Cheese

# ? Feb 20, 2020 05:03

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

google THIS posted:

Here is a list of all the smurfs:

- Papa Smurf
- ????????? ??????? ???

- Elf Smurf

- Spider Smurf

- Snails Smurf

- Smelly Joe

- Velociraptor Smurf

- Fighting Smurf

- Lizard Smurf

- Porky Smurf

- Scary Pumpkin Smurf

- Kraken

- Bill Pepper

- Slushie

- Stretch Nelson

- Whom Smurf

- Chocolate Treat

- Peanut Butter Cookie

- Frying Pan

- Clam

- Chuck E Cheese

Bill Pepper!

# ? Feb 20, 2020 05:10

biosterous

google THIS posted:

Here is a list of all the smurfs:

- Papa Smurf
- ????????? ??????? ???

- Elf Smurf

- Spider Smurf

- Snails Smurf

- Smelly Joe

- Velociraptor Smurf

- Fighting Smurf

- Lizard Smurf

- Porky Smurf

- Scary Pumpkin Smurf

- Kraken

- Bill Pepper

- Slushie

- Stretch Nelson

- Whom Smurf

- Chocolate Treat

- Peanut Butter Cookie

- Frying Pan

- Clam

- Chuck E Cheese

smurf

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Feb 20, 2020 05:32

Twenty Four

Plant MONSTER. posted:

when bored i consult talk to transformer and it has taught me lots about smurfs. The only question I asked was: "What are all the different smurfs?" and here's what it had to say:

-Everybody has their own smurf. An individual smurf can be identified as belonging to a certain social category.

-Unlike regular trading economies, smurfs aren't in the habit of trading goods with each other. Instead, each smurf has a unique number which is his unique item name, and is either the item or a piece of clothing that smurfs need to appear as though they're that smurf. To have an item that a smurf knows about, a smurf has to wear or have its other item names associated with it. The trade protocol is different for each smurf.

-You can recognize a smurf by the following characteristics: A goofy logo...

-There are three basic types of smurfs: child smurfs (whose parent smurfs are physically attached to them), parent smurfs (which only "recently" got that parent smurf), and external smurfs (which have their own log files, in the canonical location specified for their parent smurfs).

-So, in the snow of December 2016 a smurf was elected leader of Canada.

-In short, a smurf is a nickname assigned to someone who has just registered an account on FFXI. They don't know anything about the game and have probably never even made a real character before.

lol nice

# ? Feb 20, 2020 07:25

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

oh hell yeah, transformer. tell me about smurf reproduction, transformer.

"Smurfs reproduce sexually by using a prosthetic penis made out of an oversized carrot. They also will hump everything in sight. The only thing they won't do is stand or sit or crouch."

Perfect, thank you.

Jesus Christmas lol

My boss asked what was funny and I had to explain this thread

He said :five:

# ? Feb 20, 2020 17:56

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

google THIS posted:

Here is a list of all the smurfs:

- Papa Smurf
- ????????? ??????? ???

- Elf Smurf

- Spider Smurf

- Snails Smurf

- Smelly Joe

- Velociraptor Smurf

- Fighting Smurf

- Lizard Smurf

- Porky Smurf

- Scary Pumpkin Smurf

- Kraken

- Bill Pepper

- Slushie

- Stretch Nelson

- Whom Smurf

- Chocolate Treat

- Peanut Butter Cookie

- Frying Pan

- Clam

- Chuck E Cheese

Holy poo poo all my favorites! Frying Pan always cooking up a storm! Smelly Joe and Bill Pepper always trying zany get-rich-schemes but always being ousted by their distinctive and respective odor and taste, Clam siphoning water, The whimsical Whom Smurf always conjuring up such wonderful poesy and Stretch Nelson... Oh Stretch Nelson!

# ? Feb 21, 2020 03:33

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

Welcome to Gargamel's Tasty Treats!

Gargamel's Borscht Schtroumpf:

-2 liters of smurf puree
-2 onions
-2 carrots
-3 potatoes
-12oz canned meat
-20oz broth
-2 tsp salt
-1 tsp pepper
-� tsp worcestershire sauce
-1 cup cream
-3 cups water

Preparation:

Whisk together all the other ingredients in a crock pot or big slow cooker. Place the spinach and onion in the bottom of the crock pot.
Add the carrots, potatoes, meat, puree, and vegetables. Sprinkle the salt, pepper, and spices over everything.

Smurf Gateau:

-4 Smurf Eggs
-4 Protean Hulk
-2 Man-o'-War
-1 Burnout
-2 Titania's Song
-2 Isochron Scepter
-1 Ruric Thar, the Unbowed
-1 Worm Harvest
-4 Magus of the Moon
-4 Brainstorm
-1 Craterhoof Behemoth
-2 Green Sun's Zenith
-4 Steelshaper's Gift
-4 Ambriel's Edict

Smurfonade:

-Juice from 6 Freshly Squeezed Smurfs to splurge on other smurfs' juices for any juice that tastes good.
-Tobacco from 20 mg to taste better but it may make you cough and fart slightly.
-Empty soda bottle.
-Box of crayons.
-50 Mints
-Bottles of Tabasco sauce.
-Scissors
-Patience!

Alfonso's Note:

-If you don't have 10 free hours in your life, you can still make one! Or make a peanut butter mint and vape it for a day!

holy poo poo lmao did they make transformer funnier

# ? Feb 21, 2020 03:42

Mr. Dick: by Cyrano4747

Geistsmurf

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Feb 21, 2020 04:47

Finger Prince

Plant MONSTER. posted:

Welcome to Gargamel's Tasty Treats!

Gargamel's Borscht Schtroumpf:

-2 liters of smurf puree
-2 onions
-2 carrots
-3 potatoes
-12oz canned meat
-20oz broth
-2 tsp salt
-1 tsp pepper
-½ tsp worcestershire sauce
-1 cup cream
-3 cups water

Preparation:

Whisk together all the other ingredients in a crock pot or big slow cooker. Place the spinach and onion in the bottom of the crock pot.
Add the carrots, potatoes, meat, puree, and vegetables. Sprinkle the salt, pepper, and spices over everything.

Smurf Gateau:

-4 Smurf Eggs
-4 Protean Hulk
-2 Man-o'-War
-1 Burnout
-2 Titania's Song
-2 Isochron Scepter
-1 Ruric Thar, the Unbowed
-1 Worm Harvest
-4 Magus of the Moon
-4 Brainstorm
-1 Craterhoof Behemoth
-2 Green Sun's Zenith
-4 Steelshaper's Gift
-4 Ambriel's Edict

Smurfonade:

-Juice from 6 Freshly Squeezed Smurfs to splurge on other smurfs' juices for any juice that tastes good.
-Tobacco from 20 mg to taste better but it may make you cough and fart slightly.
-Empty soda bottle.
-Box of crayons.
-50 Mints
-Bottles of Tabasco sauce.
-Scissors
-Patience!

Alfonso's Note:

-If you don't have 10 free hours in your life, you can still make one! Or make a peanut butter mint and vape it for a day!

holy poo poo lmao did they make transformer funnier

OMG I'm dying. The Smurf gateau is marvelous!

# ? Feb 21, 2020 05:42

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Cough and Fart slightly Smurf

# ? Feb 21, 2020 07:07

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Tell me about the coughing and farting smurfs, Transformer

"The smurfs started coughing and farting and could not stop. The coughing and farting smurfs ixnt rest their excitement.

This was the best moment.

She had started from the beginning and saw so many beautiful things in the first 100 months.

One fell in love with a dog and they kissed and cuddled and cozied up.

One held hands with a man and saw their lips touch and know that they loved each other.

One held hands with a smurf, something special.

And one smurf fell in love with a spider and that smurf fell in love with a pharao.

Many fell in love with the sun."

# ? Feb 21, 2020 07:50

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 17:10

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

This is a list of all known alternative Smurfs:

-Vexatious Smurf
-Candy Smurf
-Rebellious Smurf
-Brave Smurf
-Silly Smurf
-Crazy Smurf
-Sneaky Smurf
-Pregnant Smurf
-Willy Smurf
-Baldy Smurf
-Grumpy Smurf
-Selfish Smurf
-Big Smurf
-Nerd Smurf
-Gym Smurf
-Lumberjack Smurf
-Boring Smurf

------

Time for more Gargamel's Tasty Treats!

Smurf Wellington:
-phyllo pastry
-several smurfs formed into a smurf roast (refer to chapter VI)
-dulce de leche cream and candy toppings (see above)

Smurf Bonnie:

-homemade whipped cream and raspberry candied pecans (see above)
-peaches and cream topping (see above)

Smurf Crazy Eyes:

-herbal candied candy and whipped cream (see above)
-pineapple candied candy (see above)

Gargamel, in all his snappy wisdom, has shared that!

------
Excerpt from Smurfed Around the World (1898)

the smurfs got into a literal pissing contest:
Oh nooooooo you've gotta destroy the smurf fair! I want my smurfy feelings back! It's so unfair that you can take away my smurf feelings! Guess what?! You've got a giant dog in your house! Now smurf us not! This dog wants to cook you, smurf him if you like, but if you're an ugly (or whatever the smurf means) smurf we'll bash him to bits! Let's get him smurfed!
HEY, BEAR-FUCKER YOU CAN'T HURT ME

# ? Feb 24, 2020 00:02

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > We must repopulate the smurf village!! :(

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