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Mustached Demon posted:but you cannot wipe the boogers/snot off their nose ever oh good, other kids do this we're using the softest cloth soaked in aloe and saltwater by your mom. I would love to wipe my face with this. Instead, the second she sees it coming, she wipes her nose all over my shirt and misses most of the boogers while still getting it on my shirt
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May 30, 2021 14:20
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Posting in this unneccessary thread with my unneccessary baby in front of me learning about shapes by picking up the box and dropping it on my nuts
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Jul 18, 2021 23:36
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quick time to study the tenets of marxism-leninism and determine the weakest point of the cspam forums as a revolutionary entity let's just skip right past the drugs and video game threads and go straight to parent chat
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Jul 19, 2021 00:49
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Vyacheslav posted:I agree, I'm just trying to see if there's any arguments for it, because everyone I've talked to has said exactly that. I am uncircumcised and got bullied for goddamn near everything but that, and none of my sex partners have cared. Don't circumcise your kid would be my advice.
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Aug 24, 2021 13:54
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poo poo POST MALONE posted:yeah that's the big thing for me as a dad with a cut dingus. like I don't know what it's like to have a foreskin but I def know you need to peel that thing back and scrub it. It's an extra 3 seconds in the shower if that, just make sure it's part of their hygeine routine from an early age.
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Aug 28, 2021 22:34
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My parents allowed us to stay up late to watch episodes of Masterpiece Theater on PBS, which was really clever now that I think about it.
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Nov 19, 2021 15:24
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Bar Ran Dun posted:yeah it’s a crazy amount of stress right now and knocks out having childcare for a solid week. wait till the really lovely stuff like croup comes back. oh hey we just got notified about a croup case in our kids toddler room at daycare
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Nov 19, 2021 18:20
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My wife bonded with our kid almost instantly and I didn't for like, two and a half months? Basically whenever I could get her to smile at my antics was when I flipped over. I distinctly remember when I switched from "if there was a fire it is my duty to go through it if she is on the other side" to "I would unthinkingly go through anything for her" hard to explain better than that. Infants! They kinda suck!
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Jan 15, 2022 18:48
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With me it's the opposite where my daughter tends to want dad for comfort. Plus I'm the one who can and will hoist her increasingly heavy rear end and carry her for a while. Having a screaming 18 month old yell NO at my wife and run at me with her arms out has definitely stabbed knives into my wife's soul a few times.
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Mar 4, 2022 20:12
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bitmap posted:I dont have a clever or pithy post for it but holy poo poo I'm sad and scared for you american parents Kind of nuts how much actual dread you can just swallow and love with!
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May 27, 2022 01:04
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my almost 2 year old somehow knows exactly where my nipples are at all times and when I'm carrying her will sometimes cling to my chest in such a way that all her weight is briefly hanging off my poor nip
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Aug 6, 2022 20:28
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bitmap posted:you ever think about how you used to be a real human, with time to pursue interests and hang out with friends and stuff yup. it helps if I don't define it as 'real human' but more recognize that like the transition from college - work I just have different responsibilities. Also my wife and I are making an effort to give each other more alone time, like "this saturday morning I've got the kid you go do whatever the hell you want" and trade off.
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Dec 14, 2022 14:58
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Microplastics posted:Yeah we need to do more of this Can you watch my kid so we can overlap?
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Dec 15, 2022 02:06
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I have one kid and I like kids and Im happy my friends who want more than one kid are able to have them but after wrestling my child into clothing and desperately attempting to get her to eat anything this morning I am reaffirmed in my one and doneness. After carrying her screaming to daycare she turned around and said "bye daddy! I love you!" With a beaming smile so that made me feel better at least.
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Dec 15, 2022 17:04
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Devil is fine I don't want my kid getting pressganged into a virtual sweatshop
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Dec 22, 2022 22:28
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Random question, I'm trying to get my 2.5 year old boosted and apparently her main provider either isn't stocking them right now or has no plans to? I'm trying to find a place that stocks the booster that will vaccinate under 3 yrs old around Chicago if anyone has any leads.
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Jan 2, 2023 22:42
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Nocturtle posted:It appears to be a real pain for under three year olds to get boosters right now. It was difficult enough for our four year old as our pediatrician's office similarly doesn't stock the booster. Don't have any specific recommendations for the Chicago area unfortunately. I'm guessing you looked into the CVS "minute clinics", which seem to be the only pharmacy option for under three year olds? Alternatively you might try checking out independent pediatric practices, some provide shots or have clinics open to non-patients. This is how we got our younger kid their primary series shots when we learned our pediatrician's office didn't provide them and none of the pharmacies had them in stock. Oh poo poo I just figured cvs was like Walgreens and wouldn't do under 3 but I'll check. Also why isn't my pediatrician stocking the god drat booster
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Jan 3, 2023 05:18
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Struensee posted:Our oldest was 4 years old before he wanted to stop wearing a diaper. poo poo sucked. We had a great method for encouraging our kid to potty train! And when I say "had a method," i mean "she had horrific diaper rash that kept coming back and we had to hold her down to wipe her butt while she screamed in agony and after the third round of that she also had constipation so she kept pooping small nuggets six times a day and the combination of all of those meant she got lots of potty training and how to hold your pee with no diaper in short order" So not something I'd uh, recommend. But she's potty trained. Demon Of The Fall posted:my 5 year old has decided today she will walk like a crab everywhere she goes. lets see how long it can last. I guess it's crab day, my kid woke up and started making pinching motions and declared we were all crabs.
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Jan 4, 2023 15:38
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Noise cancelling headphones so you can listen to a podcast or something. God I do not miss the nights where the only thing that would get her down was hours of bouncing on an exercise ball
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Jan 5, 2023 23:18
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AxGrap posted:How do you chill when they got you on your last loving nerve (5ish year old, 2 week break and then 2 snow days and I'm working from home). remember it's okay to walk away or close your eyes and breathe for a second.
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Jan 6, 2023 18:02
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I'd visit it and see how you feel.
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Jan 14, 2023 00:29
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I am absolutely sure that if another kid happened I would love them to bits and absolutely sure that i am totally fine just having one.
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Jan 18, 2023 03:39
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meanolmrcloud posted:
lol my 2 1/2 year old kid just started counting from 1-20 in spanish one day and we're like "thank god someone is educating this child because it wasn't us" I mean she's not 100% she tends to skip 9 in both english and spanish and gets lost somewhere around 15 but hell, she can say quince! it's very cute. we also had a minor blackout near us last night and we could see the repair guy in a cherry picker from our kitchen window, which became the dominant topic of conversation for the next 18 hours. All through breakfast this morning she was asking where the crane was, what happened to the crane? was it hiding or sleeping?
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Jan 24, 2023 15:24
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god there was this golden-in-retrospect period when she was like, three or four months old? and she would just nap on me. Wake up, boob with mom, hang out for a bit, then strap on to dad and I get to eat lunch and play some video games while she sleeps. my wife was not amused when I handed her back over without brushing the sandwich crumbs out of her hair one time but she didn't seem to mind.
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Mar 8, 2023 20:23
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Changing the names here but I know a guy called "Bob." His parents, since he was born, referred to him as Bob. All his family and friends, everyone he knows, refer to him as Bob. His legal name is roughly Ruben Dane His parents have never given an adequate explanation.
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May 28, 2023 01:06
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I mean I worry less about that stuff because of the existential stuff but yep. My job is not to shield my child from all harm, because that's impossible and they grow up. My job is to try and teach my kid how to be resilient in the face of that poo poo and to give them a loving space to come back to if they need help. That's the mantra I keep telling myself if I think about it too much.
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Jun 5, 2023 16:56
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loquacius posted:Wife thought I wasn't connecting enough with the baby, so today I held him for a two-hour nap while I played Zelda and she had to deal with our two-year-old throwing up everywhere, in closing it's working and I am in fact connecting with him more Why has no one developed a game tracker that will detect when you're being slept on by a kid
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Jun 25, 2023 22:36
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My dad wasn't circumcised and managed to teach me just fine. "Pull your foreskin back when you're taking a bath or shower and it's very important you do it every time" was about all the instruction I got and my idiot five year old brain could handle it. edit: also as someone who isn't circumcised as long as the kid's not in pain you're fine, trust me it's a uh, pretty intuitive experience. If they're not hurting themselves they're doing it right.
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Jul 5, 2023 15:25
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good god we had a poo poo catastrophe like we haven't had in a while. I got poo poo on my knee
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Aug 13, 2023 02:58
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My child ate 1.5 pb & j sandwiches while sprinting around a playground tonight for dinner. and I mean literally shoving her face full and sprinting
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Aug 17, 2023 02:40
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My kid informed me it wasn't fair for her to wipe herself.
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Aug 21, 2023 13:12
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BonHair posted:Me: are you putting your clothes on? *Taps head* if you're always naked you don't need to change clothes
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Oct 10, 2023 14:46
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BonHair posted:Denmark. I don't know that we have actual gifted schools, but private schools can do what they want, as long as the students pass the standardised exams. It's like a Catholic school, except with mensa instead of pope. that statement made me reflexively support a new crusade and I'm not catholic
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Oct 20, 2023 15:30
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The advantages of city life baby! I mean my kid's 3 so we're not sending her out by herself yet but all that other stuff still happens. I hope I'm not sick this year so I can actually accept a beer from a house. (there are so many houses that go full on bananas and every adult just camps out in the front yard with a cooler.)
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Oct 27, 2023 17:47
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You can be racist against the dutch or Italians with no problem so just throw clogs at him until he gets it
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Nov 2, 2023 04:34
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I don't want to have that in my search history
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Nov 11, 2023 04:29
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Oh yeah there's something deep and primal that hits your brain the first time you hand the baby to someone you trust (that isn't your partner who is also bone tired) Did the same thing w mine when she was a wee babe.
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Nov 26, 2023 16:35
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Another Bill posted:e/n but one of my kids is performing for the first time today on a real stage in a bar in front of real people. She plays the fiddle... I'm a very proud parent You twisted dickensian monster, forcing your own flesh and blood to play for the amusement of others! Not but seriously that's awesome and you should be proud.
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Dec 18, 2023 00:29
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Second Hand Meat Mouth posted:how much should we pay a babysitter who doesn't know how much to charge 25 bucks an hour and yes I know that might seem steep but a) you're paying them to keep your child alive and b) you want this babysitter you've found to think of you positively and be available in the future.
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Feb 17, 2024 15:21
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Don't pay less than minimum wage to the 16 year old who doesn't know any better.
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Feb 17, 2024 15:26
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