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AxGrap posted:Please don't mind me I am on parental leave and will be posting too much. I will go back to lurking soon enough. Post through those night time feeds friend. Wtf there's a cspam parents thread? What up? My child's almost 18mo old and their favorite activities include grunting while throwing stuff and stealing cheese of dad's plate.
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May 30, 2021 03:38
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fosborb posted:hello! I swap between "about a year and a half" and 18mo Monthly thing sort of made sense after I learned his doctor appointment schedule is every 3 months
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May 30, 2021 05:23
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kecske posted:my 18 month old wasn't settling last night so my wife brought him into our bed at 3am, and his first action was to wake me up by jamming his razor nail finger up my nose all the way to the knuckle but you cannot wipe the boogers/snot off their nose ever
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May 30, 2021 08:51
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the human body's gross and disgusting we get it now get over it and be a drat parent I do miss the yellow mustard splats. That was easy even though there were more containment breaches.
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May 30, 2021 21:41
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386-SX 25Mhz VGA posted:who else here is currently in the bathroom hiding from a toddler you can do that? imo, the first chapter of every new dad book should be about the squirt bottle mom gets to take home from the hospital
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May 30, 2021 23:26
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Elissimpark posted:Lol, didn't you know crapping is a spectator sport. Dad on the can, toddler in the bathtub
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May 31, 2021 01:09
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Antifa Poltergeist posted:I feel like most parenting books for dads either focus on " you are gonna be a great dad, lets psyche you up!" Or " so theres a new lifeform in your home, heres how to not let it die like every pet/plant you ever had", instead they should be brutally honest like " yeah, youre not going to get a full night's sleep for at least 2 years, you're gonna be covered in bodily fluids, you're going to worry all the time, remember all that free time you had for stupid hobbies like painting warhams figurines, it's gonne now, ei remember all the bare minimum effort you put into your relationship it's not gonna be enough, yeah yeah poor you try having a sucking machine attached to your breasts 10 times a day while your internal organs and body chemistry rearranges itself,step up your game,son" All the "bad" stuff is totally worth it when toddler points at you and shouts dada.
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May 31, 2021 23:25
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Big Mad Drongo posted:My 10mo did that, then pointed at the cat and said it again, then just started staring into space saying "dadadadadada" etc. Cat is eeeeeeeeeee, dog is ogg, mom is also dadadada.
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Jun 1, 2021 00:41
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Sleeping through the night is a milestone.
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Jun 1, 2021 04:18
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Good soup! posted:A few more weeks and I'll be back in the office and my wife's parental leave will be at an end (12 weeks from that federal paid leave act + a ton of saved of vacation/sick time meant she was able to essentially take off half a year solely for the baby, that's pretty fuckin sweet), and then she heads to daycare Ugly cry your way to work the first week you drop baby off
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Jun 3, 2021 21:52
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Elissimpark posted:Lol, I've been peed and vomited on, but I've managed to avoid poo poo. Scooped turds out of baths though. You'll be surprised what passes through a baby's digestive tract seemingly intact.
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Jun 8, 2021 12:37
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AxGrap posted:Baby is in the hospital with RSV and still breastfeeding so my wife has to stay there with her while I stay at home with the three year old. This stinks. New kid is pretty miserable and there isn't anything we can do about it except suck her nose every couple hours. Not worried about her dying or long term effects or anything but the hospital support is the best option for the baby. Feeling pretty helpless. I'm so sorry  those little rice bits/wafers are for learning how to grab things and not much else imo
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Jun 10, 2021 03:09
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kiddo, why did you throw two full sippy cups at me and give the more sign?
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Jun 11, 2021 00:01
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U-DO Burger posted:easy answer, throwing cups at you is fun I think all toddlers have a special skill that all thrown objects or flailing limbs land precisely on dad's junk
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Jun 11, 2021 00:10
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Good soup! posted:Update, baby is currently laughing maniacally at grabbing my glasses off my face and slapping them against my head baby trying to imitate you putting on glasses
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Jun 22, 2021 14:35
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First time we fed kiddo edamame was pretty funny
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Jun 22, 2021 15:57
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My child ate the head off a wax figurine at his babysitters. It was baby jesus from a manger. Yes there was a second coming.
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Jun 23, 2021 02:33
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my child has spent 20 minutes face planting between the couch and ottoman You do you, toddler demon
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Jul 4, 2021 01:32
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To be fair, Machamp has four arms for wrestling and a championship belt.
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Jul 12, 2021 00:33
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Toddlers love hiding things in various places don't they? I found toddler demon's sippy cup in a bag stuffed in a cabinet.
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Jul 17, 2021 03:29
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Pobrecito posted:lmao imagine having kids when the planets dying instead of spending your last days before the collapse doing drugs and playing video games someone's gotta populate the roaming warbands
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Jul 17, 2021 04:26
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Taima posted:I'm no expert but cspam does not feel like an appropriate place to have a parent thread. tell cps if it bothers you that much
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Jul 18, 2021 22:28
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Thoguh posted:It's not just you. My in laws are absolutely terrible about posting on facebook pictures that they are sent via email or text message no matter how many times they are told that if we wanted the picture shared online we would have posted it online. And we don't even have the kid yet (T minus three days) Good luck, friend. Thankfully they send you home with a potato and they work their way up to toddler.
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Aug 2, 2021 14:52
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lobster shirt posted:my kid is 16 months old and has been babbling for like at least six months, but still hasn't said his first word yet. he understands a lot, like a few days ago i was reading him a book that had the word caterpillar in it, and when i said that he walked over and grabbed the very hungry caterpillar and brought it to me to read it... which i think is pretty impressive for a toddler? anyway, i hope he talks soon, we're starting to get worried (but the doctor says not to worry until 18 months). some kids just take everything in then explode in a fury of words seemingly overnight
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Aug 9, 2021 22:39
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poo poo POST MALONE posted:I think I got this here but whatever it owns this owns I need return the book to the sleep rotation took it out because kiddo kept unwrapping the cover
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Aug 10, 2021 01:46
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Cspam answer: outside of being Jewish or something, circumcision was pushed in the US by the Kellogg's cereal guy to get kids to stop wanking it Chatting with the pediatrician about it, it's pretty whatever. Pain in the rear end to do in exchange for maybe some health benefits. He was very not pushy either way. Went with not so it's not weirder if he randomly walks in on me showering or something.
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Aug 24, 2021 04:45
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Good soup! posted:we just started sleep training and this little kid loving loves sleep, we are weeks into it and she goes down at about 7 pm and doesnt wake up until about 6-6:30, rarely wakes up and is even able to put herself back to sleep if she gets momentarily fussy awesome!! There will be regressions in the form of night waking or general gently caress you I don't wanna sleep. They come and go quick.
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Aug 30, 2021 01:55
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lobster shirt posted:hmm... anyone have any advice for coping with pregnancy loss lol cspam answer: post through it For me, I find comfort in the statistics. Half, at the very least, end that way. Bodies just sometimes gently caress up. I'm a dude though so my experience isn't really that useful. Sorry to hear
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Sep 9, 2021 22:20
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My toddler decided to jump off the back of the couch yesterday. He landed well and I think it scared him more than anything. Couple minutes of snuggle and he was back to normal. Dudes gonna cost me a lot in medical bills.
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Sep 17, 2021 15:48
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Adjectivist Philosophy posted:We taught our kids to 'dust it off' every time they take a tumble. It gives them a task to preoccupy their attention before they have time to process whether or not they're hurt and is amazing at stopping crocodile tears before they start. It's also a quick way for us to tell if it's an actual injury if they are still crying after dusting it off lol we go "boom goes the baby!" all excited like to do the same sort of distraction it's amazing how little poo poo he gives about tripping on concrete and skinning his knees
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Sep 17, 2021 18:43
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puppy dog pals is ok too a lot less class traitor than paw patrol
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Sep 19, 2021 23:19
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poo poo I'm so sorry. Want to add: get carbon monoxide detectors too. That poo poo will wreck you.
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Sep 28, 2021 01:59
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I'm night crew and definitely supplement vitamin D outside of summer. Mowing the lawn and taking kid to park ought to cover summer.
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Sep 29, 2021 18:41
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Son of Thunderbeast posted:one weird trick to burn your relationship with your kid! Hell yeah let's get the anxiety going early
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Oct 15, 2021 17:05
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Just a friendly PSA for cosleeping: don't cosleep with babies. Safe sleep takes priority and there is no way to safely lay a baby down on an adult bed. Use a pack n play next to your bed with just baby in it. No bedding in the pack n play.
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Oct 17, 2021 01:24
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I just get screamed at until mom comes and saves me when I try to comfort the angry toddler at 3am He seems to wake up like every night demanding mommy snuggles all the sudden. Why?!!!!!???
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Oct 17, 2021 03:47
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poo poo POST MALONE posted:the hell is gripe gel Gripe waters basically a baby version of ginger ale for upset baby tummy. Imagine gels the gel version.
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Oct 18, 2021 03:44
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Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:Love to have autonomy skirmishes break out at 1 a.m. Three year old asks for the water bottle a foot from her bed and hell yeah let's spend 5 hours screaming for help rather than spending the literal 20 seconds of effort it would take to get it yourself. I'm really glad everyone else experiences these kind of sleep disruptions. Though little demon was apparently shouting out "dadddaaaa dadddaaaa" completely unprompted while I was at work last night. Wife was nice enough to send me a video.
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Oct 19, 2021 11:49
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kid's going places
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Oct 30, 2021 02:18
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Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:Halloween plus plus: three year old using said horns and frill when she gleefully ran up and head-butted a girl in a T-Rex costume. There we go
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Nov 1, 2021 02:59
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