|
My wife is only 20 weeks pregnant, so not sure I qualify for this thread yet, but lead chat has prompted me to order a test kit for our 1950s house!
|
#
¿
May 5, 2022 21:06
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 11, 2024 05:26 |
|
|
New parent here to a just-turned-34-weeker diagnosed with NEC. NICUs are simultaneously miraculous places full of actual, scrub-wearing angels and also a very specific kind of hell. I can't believe we've only been at this for 5 days.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 1, 2022 20:38
|
|
|
Anyone ever had to deal with a milk allergy in a newborn? Our girl was born premature in the NICU almost three weeks ago and is still only about four pounds because we've had to keep pausing feedings because she presented with NEC early and even after that cleared has had intermittent bloody poops. We're on the hypoallergenic formula now which seems to be the way to go. Wife has had lots of trouble getting any kind of quantity pumping and breastfeeding and I think the no dairy thing might finally tip us over into giving up and just going with formula. Just curious what the longer-term horizon looks like there if anyone's done it.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 16, 2022 14:45
|
|
|
Saltpowered posted:So darker story from most of the rest of the thread that we’re going through right now… Deffo makes sense if I was abusing my kid to get the authorities involved of my own volition. Jesus H. Christ.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 20, 2022 22:58
|
|
|
Kind of the opposite of bedshitting, but any advice on getting a newborn to poop? Our five week old preemie is on day 3 of no poops and she spends most of her free time with her new hobby: straining visibly and loudly. Bicycle kicks get farts out, but no turds.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 10, 2022 15:02
|
|
|
Thanks for the poo poo-inducing advice thread. We stopped giving her the vitamin with iron at doctor's advice and a few days later she popped the hard poop cork and proceeded to give us 12 shits in a single day. Feast or famine with the poops, this one.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 12, 2022 14:14
|
|
|
I remember seeing weird ogrish poo poo like dude's hammering their dicks on cacti or whatever but I think that was college Honestly more worried about my kid growing up wanting to be an influencer than that poo poo.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 20, 2022 15:32
|
|
|
Got the bill for our five-week NICU stay: $340,000 before insurance. Now to resume the hunt for daycare that will cost $1,500-$2,000 a month and won't have infant slots open until next August. Why don't more people have kids?
|
|
#
¿
Sep 23, 2022 17:23
|
|
|
AgentF posted:So how does this work in America? Are you financially ruined for life? I don't have remotely near this amount of money available. You have a maximum amount you have to pay out of pocket in a given year. It's capped at the individual and family level. The worse your insurance is, the higher the cap. If you're poor enough, you might be eligible for government coverage under Medicaid.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 26, 2022 15:46
|
|
|
My phone's pedometer clocked five miles for me yesterday. I did not leave the house. I did, however, walk around the kitchen for a couple hours bouncing a two month old who would only stop crying when she was eating.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 3, 2022 13:50
|
|
|
C-SPAM > [C-SPAM Parents] chunky bumsludge
|
|
#
¿
Oct 4, 2022 13:48
|
|
|
Our girl is ten weeks old but of course another dogshit part about preterm birth is the adjusted timeline, so we're only just starting the ramp up into peak colic and still have to feed every 2-3 hours. Wife and I have a pretty decent shift system at night so I'm still getting ~5 hours of uninterrupted sleep, but it would be cool to eventually share a bed with her again one day. Sleep training feels impossibly distant.sonatinas posted:hey at 6 months I was rocking my baby to sleep and decided to read a sleep training book and that was the beginning of sleep I read this as the book helped put you to sleep.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 5, 2022 15:40
|
|
|
mila kunis posted:doing some research into having a kid and holy loving poo poo, the cost of daycare even better, if you're still willing to drop like $2,500 a month there are still wait lists!
|
|
#
¿
Oct 6, 2022 12:58
|
|
|
Good soup! posted:DC's insane childcare costs were one of the major reasons behind our relocation last year. Loved the city but even the greater metro area had home daycare services - not even a dedicated center/facility - that wanted $1,000+ a week and I struggle to imagine how anyone can afford having kids in that area. Silver Spring is where we are and yeah the childcare is nuts. We were trying to do tours and get on wait lists but the kid came early and disrupted those plans. Now it's October and we're looking for openings in May when my leave will end (taking after the wife's is up) and there have been only a couple places. Back in June there were a handful of openings for August 2023 so I'm sure it's gotten better! We have enough savings that we can probably swing three years of childcare by not putting anything else away, not going on vacations, and praying the roof/appliances don't fail. But I've been trying to drill into my wife that we just can't do this with two kids. Like maybe if I get a new job with a pretty substantial increase in salary, but then I'd probably be less available with twice the child duties. And we make twice the median household income here! What the gently caress.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 6, 2022 15:41
|
|
|
You can always report photos of your kid on social and have them taken down if you want to go nuclear too.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 11, 2022 16:15
|
|
|
sonatinas posted:what I ended up doing to keep all the Facebook brained people in my family in line (it’s not just old people)is make a private photo share group using iCloud. however I understand not everyone is on an i device. is there something similar cross platform that is easy to use even for the non-tech minded? I have a Google Photos album that we upload kidpics to. The grandmas love it because it gives them email updates when we post new things and they can comment on stuff. Doesn't really address the underlying issue with social media boundaries though because they can just grab the photos or take their own and throw them on their Facebook anyway. It does open the door to my favorite dumb boomer thing my MIL has done though: gifting us physical, printed photo books composed of low-res, screengrabbed versions of our own photos. Thanks...
|
|
#
¿
Oct 11, 2022 17:30
|
|
|
Kal-L posted:Seems like this is as good as any place to ask... Congrats! COVID thread might have more thoughts about the specific booster. My understanding is some immunity transfers to the fetus if mom gets the shot later in the pregnancy. But precautions-wise, the time when you actually want to be most cautious is while your wife is pregnant. COVID increases the risk of complications and is more likely to be severe for pregnant people. It can cause blood clots, can damage the placenta and contribute to preterm birth. Depending on where you give birth, a positive test late in the pregnancy can mean that you might not be allowed in the room during or after birth. It's also the time when family and friends are less likely to understand your precautions. This was a hugely stressful pain in the rear end for us. Things are more straight-forward with a newborn because the prevailing guidance already dictates that you be extremely cautious about respiratory illness like flu and RSV during the first couple months of life anyway. Those are more likely to be trouble than COVID, which is (supposedly -- grain of salt given that COVID is OVER) rare among newborns and unlikely to cause severe illness. Visitors should be vaccinated (TDAP, COVID and flu), should wash their hands before touching baby and not kiss the baby, and should avoid visiting entirely if they have even mild illness or think they might have been exposed to COVID. Ideally they'd mask, but lol yeah right grandparents. My girl was born premature going on three months now and we basically just continue to live like most people did in the early days of COVID. Mostly staying at home, only allowing visitors for limited time in as controlled an environment as we can, masking with an N95 any time we go somewhere indoors around other people. And then try and take as much leave as possible before considering putting them in daycare. Because once they're in daycare... they're going to catch something!
|
|
#
¿
Oct 18, 2022 13:42
|
|
|
Triumphantly walking in the door at midnight having walked our colicky infant to sleep in the stroller doing laps around the block and she wakes up immediately.  I don't endorse our forebears' strategy of drugging babies or rubbing whiskey on their gums to get them to sleep... but I understand it now.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 25, 2022 05:15
|
|
|
bitmap posted:
I didn't know they did a biography of my MIL. Strange they changed the gender of my wife though. bitmap posted:this is a pretty weird one but...my 2yo daughter has said a few really strange things lately. About 2 weeks ago my wife was getting dressed while she was in the room and she pointed at her and said "sexy! bit sexy!" and laughed. Just now we were driving to pick up my wife from some spa thing and when I said "let's go get mummy" she replied "BUSTY mummy! lets get busty mummy!". You are correct to be weirded out.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 25, 2022 19:42
|
|
|
DR FRASIER KRANG posted:today was a big day in our house because I finally got new toner cartridges for the printer (it's been dry for months) and my boys started queuing up requests. I don't remember a time growing up where I didn't hate my older brother's guts. Genuinely curious where sibling love comes from and if it's something parents are modeling maybe? Did you and your partner have positive sibling relationships? My wife is an only child and wants two because her experience growing up was lonely. I had two brothers, a half-sister and two sparsely seen step brothers, so I've always been on team One And Done. Partly for finance reasons, but also because I can't imagine parenting my brothers and I was particularly gratifying with the constant fighting, whining and enduring emotional scars.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 27, 2022 20:30
|
|
|
daughter was dressed as a jack o lantern, but she is 3 months old and has no choice
|
|
#
¿
Oct 31, 2022 17:50
|
|
|
unlimited shrimp posted:I kind of envy my daughter's ability to be contented with plain noodles or steamed broccoli. Our dinners are like a grand tour of the globe every week and, while I'm happy we're exposing the kids to more variety and novelty than we had growing up, I'm also worried we're promoting an unhealthy view of food as more about novelty or pleasure and less about nutrition and sustenance. Food as entertainment is kind of fraught, sure. But better to seek novelty and pleasure there than booze and drugs I guess? Kind of feel like those are the options for adults. Our three-month-old preemie is still on the fancy $50/can super sensitive formula bullshit that gives her painful gas and reflux, so even steamed broccoli and chicken nugz sounds like an impossible dream right now.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 4, 2022 17:10
|
|
|
ikanreed posted:Okay it's weird to have a crib full of unnamed meat Costco is a beautiful name
|
|
#
¿
Nov 5, 2022 14:11
|
|
|
I set up steam link so I could play Total Warhammer in the living room on my baby night shift. Fortunately she's been sleeping enough that I can snag z's next to her bassinet between feeds instead.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 9, 2022 03:57
|
|
|
What do people do re: Santa these days? Our girl is just four months so it's all academic for me, but is it possible to be honest with your kid without them torching other families' holiday magic?
|
|
#
¿
Nov 28, 2022 14:37
|
|
|
DR FRASIER KRANG posted:I love how my kids don't even try to look for presents. I just keep them in a drawer next to my socks. I always looked for presents as a kid with no real negative consequences. I enjoyed knowing what N64 game or whatever to get hyped about ahead of time and I still put on a big show for my parents' benefit. Not sure if they ever knew. (Probably?)
|
|
#
¿
Nov 29, 2022 17:19
|
|
|
Son of Thunderbeast posted:Kiddo's ratings/reviews so far: Doctor Worm is basically made for kids. Or Why Does The Sun Really Shine for very specific sun facts she can whip out later in life.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 30, 2022 07:36
|
|
|
I can see the virtue in ripping off the bandaid and just concentrating the painful years. But I also don't know how in the gently caress I would afford two kids in daycare at once. Instead my strategy is to talk about how great our ONLY child as part of propaganda efforts that I don't think are working on my wife.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 2, 2022 14:21
|
|
|
sonatinas posted:my six year old’s anxiety sometimes gets into high gear right before bedtime where we’re laying in bed together and she’s asking me how will she be able to survive when she’s an adult and can she still live in our house and how will she get a job, etc. So we spent a lot of time making sure that she is secure in her material needs. I maintain that kids have very rational anxieties about such things and the difference as an adult is you've just learned how to cope where they're just talking in reality raw. KirbyKhan posted:Don't get bullied into having a second kid. We don't do bullying, we just disagree. My ideal would be two kids absent any extraneous factors. But I feel more much less anxious about being able to afford one than two. If we hadn't started so late it might have been easier to time the second when the first was in pre-k, but infertility waits for no one!
|
|
#
¿
Dec 3, 2022 03:16
|
|
|
Explained my plan to take a few months of parental leave when my wife's is over in February to family members in two separate conversations this weekend. The response from both was: "...Why?" The surface answer is because we couldn't get a daycare slot until May and we want to avoid subjecting her to the COVID/RSV/flu plague as long as possible. I know it's a generational thing, but I was legit stunned by the question. Why the gently caress wouldn't I?
|
|
#
¿
Dec 5, 2022 15:53
|
|
|
I thought we would have burly firefighters check our car seats when we went, but it was actually a couple middle-aged ladies from the county doing the checks and it kind of made more sense in hindsight. Was also not expecting the bits about completely destroying the car seat when it's expired. I guess there's a logic to it for safety purposes, but felt like a line from Big Car Seat.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 6, 2022 14:52
|
|
|
Microplastics posted:God drat I just applied for 14 weeks starting in February. Thinking about all the cool outdoor activities we could do but won't because it will be too cold outside.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 13, 2022 20:47
|
|
|
There are few greater feelings in this computer-toucher WFH bubble than popping downstairs during the workday, making our ~13 week adjusted little girl do her funny little proto-laugh, and then popping back upstairs to the sound of my wife fruitlessly trying to replicate it. Respect the dadclown!
|
|
#
¿
Dec 13, 2022 21:42
|
|
|
She didn't want to test because it might have been positive and that would have been annoying for her personally. Our in-laws are that level of rear end in a top hat. My brother has been a champ lately though. He wanted to meet our daughter and took the hint when I was gunshy about inviting his school-age kids too. Was going to visit solo during the day this week but then called it off because he was feeling a little ill. It's sad that I feel so grateful for such basic consideration from others, but the last 2-3 years have really exposed how little you can rely on others as a general rule.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 20, 2022 22:18
|
|
|
loquacius posted:My wife, being nice to her, said "at least you guys can be together now" since they're both positive, and she said "no, we're staying isolated to reduce the viral load, it's the right thing to do" and if that doesn't just fuckin sum up NPR libs in one sentence Agh, that would drive me insane. Reduce WHAT viral load? It's not a shared pool. Probably she is just enjoying spending time away from your dad lol.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 22, 2022 16:34
|
|
|
Anybody ever deal with infant bottle aversion? Our girl was a preemie originally diagnosed with NEC and then later a milk allergy. Now on hypoallergenic formula. She's only 15 weeks adjusted and still a little thing at 11 pounds -- I think 9th percentile for weight. She has started fighting us a little bit at feeds and we're starting to zero in on maybe it being an aversion caused by us pressuring her to eat. She'll scream sometimes when the bib goes on. Or arch her back when we go to give her the nipple even though she might initially go for it or give us hunger cues. The initial thought was that it was reflux. We added oatmeal to her formula, but that seemed to make it worse. Once my wife suggested aversion though I read a book on it and it seems to fit the bill. My wife is an anxious person and feels a lot of internalized pressure to make her gain weight, especially given the inability to breast feed. I think baby might be picking up on those vibes? We also got some bad (I think) advice from a GI about our formula concentration. She gave us this off-book recipe for the formula that I calculated as being 24.5 kcal/oz, when most feeding guidance is based on 20 kcal/oz. So we've been trying to get her to live up to a certain volume when she's also getting 22% extra calories. So of course she's full and then pissed off when we try and keep feeding her after she's full. Having a kid is an eye-opening reminder that a lot of times doctors don't know poo poo. Or even if they do, they don't have the time to really actually be useful.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 25, 2022 19:42
|
|
|
Cassette Moodcore posted:in terms of bottle aversion, late to the party and it’s probably not relevant but our kid had a lot of issues due to being born early as mom had a lot of pregnancy issues and kid had colic and bottle aversion, it was awful Thanks for the aversion advice all. We've tried to be diligent about relaxing the feeding anxiety on our end (lol) and it seems to have helped. Which is good because we have work to do now on sleep routines and naps. Just went full Danish on our girl today and left her outside in her stroller to finish a nap.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 1, 2023 02:07
|
|
|
Microplastics posted:Good grief does anyone in this thread have a good relationship with their dad? I should consider myself lucky. (not perfect - he did refuse to pay £20 to get the family dog out of the pound so that was the last I saw of that fluffy friend - but still pretty drat good) My parents were divorced so I just didn't see a ton of my dad except every other weekend. He was largely supportive and very passive. I've always liked him and related to him though. But consequently, my mom was the monster because she had to wrangle three boys by herself until she got remarried, and then had another kid to raise so didn't spend a ton of time on us. Lots of anger at things that often bordered on the irrational, including some hitting. I kind of justify it now as an adult that she was just trying to survive under that pressure as a single mom. But it did a number on us. I learned to just keep things to myself and lie to avoid situations where I could be yelled at. Also had quite a temper myself and weirdly nobody saw my inspiration for how to deal with my emotions! Both things I had to learn to quash as an adult, the lying especially. Distance has done wonders though. Both parents are extremely supportive. My mom thinks we're a little woo-woo because we were so diligent about avoiding COVID during pregnancy and after birth, but she's polite enough not to say anything. I definitely think I'll be more diligent about making sure my daughter is respected and heard. But I'm also more empathetic with my parents' gently caress-ups, because even with a five month old, I'm seeing how fatigue makes anger bubble to the surface more easily.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 2, 2023 22:26
|
|
|
Microplastics posted:I find ear plugs to be useful. It doesn't stop the crying of course but it does stop the ears ringing in pain Yeah bluetooth headphones were helpful when I was pacing the kitchen with a screaming baby at 2 a.m. You still hear it but it helps you disassociate as god intended.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 5, 2023 22:41
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 11, 2024 05:26 |
|
|
Woke Mind Virus posted:do they have any books about January 6th I can use to educate my 10 month old son? On the flipside, we got The Antiracist Baby to try and trigger our conservative parents but nobody has taken the bait yet. It's not an especially good book, alas.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 6, 2023 18:52
|
|