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You're sad, Pollyanna. You're a human. Humans cling to things. That's how it's supposed to work. You haven't done anything wrong or failed by missing your friend. You're suffering a bit now, and yes, that is because you have an attachment to your cat. That's OK. It would take a fully-realized being to not be carried away a bit by their sadness when their buddy dies (and I think they'd probably feel it, and just be like 'yup that's me being sad', but idk). For all the things you should do right now, being down on yourself for your human and humane response is not one of them. If you want to, you can try to do the awareness thing, where you observe your sadness rather than living it and letting it carry you away. That's very difficult. I wouldn't be able to do it. This might also be a time to contemplate impermanence, if you want to. The real thing you need, though, is to allow yourself to grieve, and time. Much love. Achmed Jones fucked around with this message at 21:35 on Jan 25, 2024 |
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Jan 25, 2024 21:28
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If you feel like doing some kind of positive action, according to the Tibetan tradition when someone dies it would not be inappropriate to practice and do good deeds on their behalf ( whether meditating or donating in their honour etc), especially in the 49 days after their death (the max length of stay in the bardo) and this can actually benefit the deceased. Even if you don't believe that, it might help bring some meaning to their death and wouldn't hurt. Recently I learned about the Japanese art of kintsugi (funnily enough from a lana del rey song about grief). I'm sorry for your loss, obviously it sucks, and if it's only been a few weeks it is going to still be quite acute. But maybe the possibility exists that the process of figuring your way through the grief could have some value? I don't know. I don't think it's unusual to be confused, though. Just try to have faith that you will, eventually, come to some kind of terms with it. If things get overwhelming, that's probably the time to experiment reflecting that your thoughts and feelings are also impermanent, this too will pass. You could also try loving kindness/compassion with the cat as the object and similarly the reverse, visualise the cat looking at you with love and sending you love. Use discretion though, not ideal if bringing it to mind makes you miserable.
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Jan 26, 2024 01:13
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Heath posted:Buddhism does not advocate being indifferent to loss or stoic in the face of it. Hell even the stoics don't advocate being that stoic about it. I read some of their stuff after I lost my dog last year and it's mostly about accepting the inevitability of mortality and not letting your grief drive you into depression. Lots of talk about "not denying the tears that nature demands from us" or something along those lines. I liked it quite a bit. Pollyanna I'm very sorry for your loss. I posted about the loss of my dog last July in this thread and got some great replies. That discussion is here if you want to check it out. I actually thought I was somewhat "back to normal" but then I had some stuff happen this past week that brought it all back up and I found myself just absolutely sobbing again for the first time in months. I don't have any particularly Buddhist-y advice about that aside from just be mindful of what you're feeling. I also enjoyed this talk about grief.
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Jan 26, 2024 01:37
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When my father died I came to be grateful for my grief. It took me awhile, but I saw that my grief was so great because I had a father who was worth grieving that much. I was also grateful (though this took me longer) that my grief was an opportunity to practice what I would now call loving-kindness (as one of the above posters mentioned). I realized in my darkness that I wanted to alleviate that darkness in my friends, acquaintances, and strangers I would interact with. In seeing my suffering my thick head finally *got* just how much suffering there is, and I wanted to be a force for alleviating that suffering. Like I said, this all took awhile, but just like on a spiritual journey, where we look ahead to those who have already made progress in the path, be comforted that we who have grieved profoundly are telling you the truth that it does get better, even when it still hurts.
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Jan 26, 2024 01:58
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The hole of loss, to me, is a reminder of just how unsatisfactory this samsara really is. The suffering is a reminder that is unsatisfactory. I think everyone has done a good job of answering that it's natural and normal to feel the sting of loss. It means you're in this samsara too, and it's why we all need to practice not just for ourselves but so our friends can escape too. Om mani padme hung.
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Jan 26, 2024 02:30
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Paramemetic posted:Om mani padme hung. Big dick Buddha energy
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Jan 26, 2024 02:40
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I’m…not really sure what I expected. I figured that I felt bad or frustrated or anxious because I was holding onto something I shouldn’t have, or not accepting something I needed to. I got caught up in the idea of trying to fit everything into a suffering-shaped box. But this:Heath posted:You have asked, "I have lost a dear friend; why am I clouded and empty?" Instead answer, "Why am I clouded and empty? Because I have lost a dear friend." Really puts it into perspective. Unsurprisingly, there’s still a lot of confusion and mistaken assumptions I’m making. Maybe I should give my books and talks another look, try to really understand them instead of just repeating their ideas. I got a lot left to learn yet, I suppose. Thanks, guys. This helps a lot. (Not sarcasm!) 
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Jan 27, 2024 03:09
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Can anyone recommend academic books exploring the meaning of dharma and karma? I've been watching Youtube lectures for the past three days, but it's at worst contradictive, and at best vague. I realise dharma and karma are hard to translate as well as understand from a western philosophical perspective, but someone must have tried.
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Feb 2, 2024 20:27
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They are used contextually in ways that may be contradictory. The Princeton Dictionary of Buddhism is probably best for an academic definition. Or Oxford. For a starting point, these entries are probably okay. https://encyclopediaofbuddhism.org/wiki/Dharma Rupert Gethin re: various usages of "dharma/Dharma" posted:(1) the ‘teaching’ of the Buddha; The Buddha re: karma posted:'It is "intention" that I call karma; having formed the intention, one performs acts (karma) by body, speech and mind.'
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Feb 2, 2024 20:54
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Would it be correct to say that through practicing your (individual) dharma, you can be witness to the (general) dharma? By realizing yourself, you also realize the dharma of the universe. You practice the law to be the law. And the law is. Kinda.
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Feb 2, 2024 21:21
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I think that's close. With the development of concentration, mindfulness, and ethics, provisional dharmas, such as internal or external processes, become means of freeing oneself and others.
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Feb 2, 2024 21:47
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“Dharma” is a notoriously tricky and multivalent word. I think the Greek term “logos” would probably be the nearest corresponding idea in the Western/Christian intellectual tradition, and even that isn’t quite right. Rupert Gethin’s definition up there is probably the best you’re gonna get. My area of expertise is Chinese Buddhism, where “dharma” is translated as “fa” (法), which means “law” or “method.” Outside of a Buddhist context, it can refer to a government’s laws, laws of nature like gravity, or even a recipe. “Karma” is an interesting one because it evolved over time in both the original Sanskrit texts and in their Anglophone reception. It literally just means “actions” (plural, the singular is “karman”). The oldest use in the Vedas referred to ritual actions, i.e. the brahmanic rites that sustained the relationship between humans and gods. In later Indian texts, including Buddhist ones, it came to refer to moral actions, or good and bad deeds. The sense in which we’ve absorbed it in English is as a synonym for the “law of karma,” which is the teaching that a person’s karma eventually ripen and produce a corresponding effect on that person. As for the mechanics of how that works, there are volumes of abidharma texts that attempt to explain and systematize it, but that’s the basic definition and genealogy of the word itself. In Chinese it’s usually rendered as “ye” (業), which also means “work” or even “career.”
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Feb 2, 2024 22:18
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The main comment I could make is that I read/internalize dharma as being "law" in the sense of "the law of gravity" or "the laws of thermodynamics," rather than in the sense of a legal document issued by some Authority. There is no Authority. It's just the way things are, and we are fortunate to have a way out of samsara, however difficult it may be.Laocius posted:“ye” (業), which also means “work” or even “career.”
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Feb 2, 2024 23:16
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busalover posted:Can anyone recommend academic books exploring the meaning of dharma and karma? I've been watching Youtube lectures for the past three days, but it's at worst contradictive, and at best vague. I realise dharma and karma are hard to translate as well as understand from a western philosophical perspective, but someone must have tried. academic? Buddhadhamma: Natural Laws and Values for Life - Phra Prayudh Payutto A heavy emphasis on dependent origination, using that as a lens to investigate reality. If I could only have one book [outside of the Pali Cannon] it would be this. Somewhat technical but understandable to a willing beginner. You can get a online/digital/pdf here: https://buddhadhamma.github.io/. There's a few diagrams, pali words are defined well and plenty of sutta references. (I have not read this newer version, looks like it has expanded; don't be afraid of a used, smaller, '95 edition if you want a physical copy) The Psychological Attitude of Early Buddhist Philosophy - Lama Anagarika Govinda Heavy on Abhidhamma; a technical, logic heavy approach to the foundation of Buddhist thought. Short but again... it's dense, esp in the writing. Lot's of referencing/looking back/rereading constantly. There's entire sections that are just like lists of types of consciousness that can be skipped if too dry, mostly near the end. A digital/pdf version here: https://archive.org/details/in.ernet.dli.2015.217499/page/n75/mode/2up Those are scholarly/academic; if your looking for a lucid introductory text check out... What the Buddha Taught - Walpola Rahula. Fantastic overview, a very popular book too; common in used bookstores. Edit: forgot about another really good one: Dimensions of Buddhist Thought - Francis Story free pdf here: https://www.bps.lk/olib/bp/bp403s_Story_Dimensions-of-buddhist-Thought.pdf Collection of essays so you can skip to sections of interest, very beginner friendly but also good depth. Virgil Vox fucked around with this message at 06:28 on Feb 3, 2024 |
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Feb 2, 2024 23:43
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In the modern context you'll also hear dharma used in basically a 'that which is true' way (and to be fair that's not exactly a new use), often as one of the major ways of aligning buddhism with scientific advances and development as opposed to denying scientific or medical progress in favor of a rigid, dogmatic textual literality. Idiomatically I'd paraphrase dharma as 'stuff which checks out' or 'stuff that should be done,' but as discussed above it has a range of nuances. Herstory Begins Now fucked around with this message at 02:15 on Feb 3, 2024 |
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Feb 3, 2024 02:05
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This is very surface level, but it really helped me. When I was preparing to take refuge, my teacher asked me what I was going to be taking refuge in and I of course replied “The Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha.” He responded “The Buddha is the doctor with advanced and perfect knowledge of the medicine we need for the path. The Dharma is the precious medicine the Buddha has prescribed for us. The Sangha is the nurse who perfectly administers the medicine per the order of the doctor.” Thinking of Dharma as Buddha’s medicine helped orient how I approach the teachings. All medicine is good (even those that hurt a little), but not all medicine is necessary for every person at all times. Dharma, then, for me, is the medicine I need in this current lifetime as well as the whole of Buddha’s medicinal knowledge.
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Feb 3, 2024 02:22
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busalover posted:Can anyone recommend academic books exploring the meaning of dharma and karma? I've been watching Youtube lectures for the past three days, but it's at worst contradictive, and at best vague. I realise dharma and karma are hard to translate as well as understand from a western philosophical perspective, but someone must have tried. From my own experience, translating them may not be the right way to go about it. They are new ideas I didn't have before. There's more or less little 'd' dhamma (dharma) and big 'd' Dhamma - that is, dhamma and Buddhadamma, the way things are and (the things that accord with) Buddha's understanding imparted to us of the way things are. Both of these are not really things Western thought has equivalent terms for, so I've found it easier to accept them as new words whose meaning (and import) is this thing I'm a student of. I don't think understanding of kamma (karma) is required for understanding of Buddha's teachings, though it may help understand the context in which they were offered. Kamma I understand to be both past actions and the result of those actions: it is their effect on us and the world, accrued positive and negative. Growing up steeped in Western thought I do not conceptualize the world this way and don't see faith in kamma as a driving force of the universe to be necessary, though others will disagree and that is fine with me.
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Feb 3, 2024 04:53
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karma isn't a driving force of the universe, it's a description of how the universe is. it's really elemental rather than a morally weighted concept, like how planting a fertile seed in soil and watering it will create the conditions necessary for a seedling to sprout. eg the karma of a fertile seed is to sprout when in the right conditions, or to nourish when eaten, or to decay when the conditions are poor, etc. practically it's just a way of acknowledging that all actions have consequences and that nothing is happening without the requisite conditions. this functions as something of an antidote to one of the primary ways people misinterpret teachings on emptiness eg that everything is empty and nothing matters and there is no right or wrong so it doesn't matter what you do. instead karma essentially sets the apparent contradiction of everything is empty but it extremely matters what you do. buddhism in general is extremely concerned with the specific point that what you do or don't do matters greatly. it isn't a moral force in that if you go through life murdering or stealing or w/e, karma isn't going to gently caress you because there isn't a discrete thing called karma to gently caress you, but you will very likely get hosed eventually by the consequences of having wronged a whole bunch of people who will want to get you, which is the karma that your harmful actions created. karma is very much not a supernatural force or something subject to faith or lack of faith, it's just the basic reality that things cause, induce, or create the conditions for other things to happen. it's like driving a car at 60mph into a brick wall. at the moment before impact the karma of the car is that it is about to smash into a wall, not for any supernatural reason but because it's going 60mph and it's 5 feet from the wall
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Feb 3, 2024 05:34
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Thanks for the replies and the literature. I will research this further.
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Feb 3, 2024 10:49
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I'm looking for a discussion of Vajrayana deity iconography. Stuff like "three eyes means this being is enlightened," "holding the kartrika represents severing obstacles," "the fangs/this pose/etc means the deity is wrathful." I'm specifically looking for things that would allow one to approach an unfamiliar representation and get an idea of what is going on, as opposed to symbols/iconography unique to a particular deity or representation thereof (in which case the answer is basically "ask the person who showed it to you"). Books are fine, webpages are fine, I'll take what I can get. If any of yall could point that way, I'd appreciate it.Thanks!
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Feb 10, 2024 04:19
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Rigpawiki would probably have something along the lines of what you're looking for. There's also Robert Beer's A Handbook of Tibetan Buddhist Symbols Herstory Begins Now fucked around with this message at 10:33 on Feb 10, 2024 |
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Feb 10, 2024 10:30
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Herstory Begins Now posted:There's also Robert Beer's A Handbook of Tibetan Buddhist Symbols nah, the wiki doesn't have anything approaching a systematic presentation - it's just a wiki after all. but that book looks to be precisely the thing, I ordered a copy. thanks!
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Feb 11, 2024 06:21
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It's Parinirvana Day in many countries. The Mahā Parinibbāna Sutta https://suttacentral.net/dn16/en/sujato?lang=en&layout=plain&reference=none¬es=none&highlight=true&script=latin quote:Then Venerable Ānanda entered a building, and stood there leaning against the door-jamb and crying, “Oh! I’m still only a trainee with work left to do; and my Teacher is about to become fully extinguished, he who is so kind to me!”
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Feb 15, 2024 11:28
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https://bsky.app/profile/pokeythepenguin.bsky.social/post/3klmukqxmnq2j
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Feb 18, 2024 03:07
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if u meet a samsara on the road, give it a boot to the head
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Feb 18, 2024 03:16
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Heath posted:Big dick Buddha energy Herstory Begins Now posted:if u meet a samsara on the road, give it a boot to the head Good thread titles.
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Feb 20, 2024 13:55
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my son got me a bracelet for christmas, and it broke. so i ordered some bead-stringing stuff to fix it. while i was at it, i ordered some beads and tassels and such and made a little quarter-mala. since that went ok and was every bit as simple as it sounds, i'll probably make him a mala out of some much smaller beads that i ordered. i haven't decided if it'll be 27/54/108 beads; i guess the best move is to just ask him. anyway that's my story, making malas is pretty dang simple if you're interested
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Feb 22, 2024 23:11
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When I was Catholic a virtue I really tried to practice was mercy. For me I wanted to be as merciful to others as I needed others to be merciful to me, so, nearly infinitely so. As a baby Buddhist I’m trying to understand and reconceptualize this in light of the Buddhist world-view. Inspired by the teachings of bodhicitta and the teaching of Avalokiteshvara I think mercy is an extension of compassion and encompassed completely by the practice of compassion. As I remember that everyone was at some point my parent, and as I think of my mother when she was struggling with alcohol abuse, I understand experientially the need for mercy as a part of compassion. She would have never gotten sober if my father didn’t show her an insane amount of mercy, and his act was essentially an act of compassion. What do you all think? What is mercy for a Buddhist?
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Feb 24, 2024 00:16
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mercy springs effortlessly from a heart-mind without expectation or comparison; to cultivate mercy in and of itself is not a bad thing, but it is akin to forcing oneself to burp thinking it will cure one's hunger, because those that are well-fed burp. the bodhisattva of compassion is not a bodhisattva because they are compassionate, they are compassionate because they are a bodhisattva
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Feb 24, 2024 07:23
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TO, I'd like to respond with a more personal answer given your thoughtfulness, but I'm not sure that I'm up to it now. I think it's very much like as you said. In the Devadatta chapter of the Lotus Sutra, it's put it as your old friend and teacher. One who has set you right again and again, and has many more lessons to teach you, but who has temporarily lost their senses. Again from the Lotus Sutra, a child trapped in a burning building. If someone has very harmful tendencies or complex needs, being compassionate is obviously difficult to navigate, which is a good reason to let go of things that make it harder. ram dass in hell posted:mercy springs effortlessly from a heart-mind without expectation or comparison; to cultivate mercy in and of itself is not a bad thing, but it is akin to forcing oneself to burp thinking it will cure one's hunger, because those that are well-fed burp. the bodhisattva of compassion is not a bodhisattva because they are compassionate, they are compassionate because they are a bodhisattva
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Feb 24, 2024 13:31
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I've been reading On Becoming A Person by Carl Rogers, and I found his insight about acceptance being a powerful motivator for change relevant to my own experience practicing Zen. Particularly this line: "I find that when I can accept another person, which means specifically accepting the feelings and attitudes and beliefs he has as a real and vital part of them, then I am assisting him to become a person: and there seems to be great value in this." A recurring theme in my discussions with my teacher is about being awake to the present, and seeing things as they are, without the "It should be like this" or "I don't like this" That comes from thinking. I believe that these teachings have assisted me in recognizing how to be compassionate to my brother, who is deeply troubled with schizophrenia and alcoholism. He's 11 years older than me, and he's been this way for the majority of our lives together under my mother's roof. His disorganization, delusions and trouble with being a conscientious cohabitator has caused our mom a lot of stress over the years which I feel I have karmically inherited, or adopted and perpetuated. So often I've gotten frustrated at him over little things, like dumping out a full kettle I was going to use for tea so he can fill it up with a mugs worth of water for coffee, feeding my dog human food I thought was unhealthy, or melting plastic utensils in pans. I would fly off the handle at him, get immediately mad, demand that he listened to me and change change change for me. It led to a lot of alienation and him hiding away from both my our and I in his room. It wasn't until I started practicing that I interrogated My feelings of frustration and saw them for what they are, this expectation that he should be different. I was looking past his disease and his struggles and setting this standard for being lovable that he couldn't reach, and using it as a license to get righteous with him. For me compassion was being able to look at the things he does and see it as a result of what he's going through. Filling up the electric kettle with just a mugs worth of coffee means he knows there's exactly enough water for what he wants, and he doesn't have to worry about overporing and making a mess; it's difficult for him to maintain a laundry list of all the things it's bad to feed a dog, and he just wants some companionship; he just wants to eat some pasta and grabbed a utensil to move things around and again is not so cognizant of his surroundings that he can be aware of all their materials. To him the world is a confusing chaotic place and his mind is not so fully cooperative, and I can't have a good relationship with him or liberate him until I see that and accept it. So I've made an effort to quit being such a hard rear end with him, and talking down to him whenever he makes a mistake. I try to make more of our interactions about offering him food, trying to spend quality time, or just talking about college with him which he seems to love and is nostalgic for. Does some persnickety energy still arise in me when I see him use a sponge and not squeeze it out? Yes. Does it help anyone if I get pissed off at him and go "God drat it, squeeze out the sponge!" In my experience no. I can just squeeze out the sponge myself. So that's what I think compassion is. Recognizing who people are and that they are complete, and taking action from there. Maybe sometimes you help them, maybe sometimes you do get stern with them if they can understand. Maybe you disconnect knowing that you can't reconcile who both of you are, and you aren't going to be a monkey on their back screaming at them to change.
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Feb 24, 2024 16:25
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I have found these documentaries of individuals who spent 20 years in Chinese concentration camps getting tortured, starved and the like coming out the other end more loving and compassionate quite inspiring.
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Feb 24, 2024 17:48
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Nessus posted:Unrelated question for me, a local herbivore: Are there any good dharma talks that it would be easy to get onto my phone for listening while walking? I liked Plum Village but all of their dharma talks seem to require you to have the app open and in video mode, so it's not great for what I'm going for. Sorry to reply to a question from like two years ago. I'm new to SA, catching up on the Buddhism thread, saw this on page 34 and wanted to mention dhammatalks.org. There is a pretty big collection of talks there that don't require youtube and can be played directly or downloaded as mp3 if you like. I haven't listened to more than a few minutes, but it seems legit so far.
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Mar 5, 2024 18:40
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RaisinPower posted:Sorry to reply to a question from like two years ago. I'm new to SA, catching up on the Buddhism thread, saw this on page 34 and wanted to mention dhammatalks.org. There is a pretty big collection of talks there that don't require youtube and can be played directly or downloaded as mp3 if you like. I haven't listened to more than a few minutes, but it seems legit so far.
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Mar 10, 2024 23:09
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ram dass in hell posted:mercy springs effortlessly from a heart-mind without expectation or comparison; to cultivate mercy in and of itself is not a bad thing, but it is akin to forcing oneself to burp thinking it will cure one's hunger, because those that are well-fed burp. the bodhisattva of compassion is not a bodhisattva because they are compassionate, they are compassionate because they are a bodhisattva I never liked this argument, to me it sorta implies that mercy is pointless without enlightenment, which it honestly cannot be.
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Mar 11, 2024 09:13
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Tias posted:I never liked this argument, to me it sorta implies that mercy is pointless without enlightenment, which it honestly cannot be. A doctor in MSF who works themselves to death would be an example of someone being merciful but immoderate imo. Obviously this is not like the doctor is being wicked or something.
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Mar 11, 2024 15:42
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I've never quite understood this discussion, because to me, the desire for mercy seems self-evident beyond any doctrine or dogma. If you need to search for justification for mercy... well, what are you doing? "Practicing" mercy seems like a farce to me. Why practice what should be inimical to the human condition? Are we to assume that all humans are just unreformed psychopaths? Mushika fucked around with this message at 16:01 on Mar 11, 2024 |
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Mar 11, 2024 15:55
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Tias posted:I never liked this argument, to me it sorta implies that mercy is pointless without enlightenment, which it honestly cannot be. pointless is a cramp and I don't particularly like it either, it's just a tool it's more that mercy is not something you possess or cultivate it is something that you are. it is the hand that in the night half asleep turns the pillow over to the cool side. it's not a decision or a practice to take the spider outside of the house and release it instead of smashing it. it's just what you do naturally
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Mar 11, 2024 15:57
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Mushika posted:"Practicing" mercy seems like a farce to me. Why practice what should be inimical to the human condition? what are you talking about? you practice good things to get better at doing them, until behaving that way is automatic and thoughtless. yes, once you're enlightened, it's automatic. until then, get to it. in the current context - of the person's above re: catholic mercy - 'mercy' is basically 'kindness' and maybe 'compassion.' catholic mercy is only mercy because "we deserve to be destroyed, and god isn't doing that, so he's merciful" underlies it. in the buddhist context, it's just, like, not compounding suffering Achmed Jones fucked around with this message at 16:09 on Mar 11, 2024 |
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Mar 11, 2024 16:05
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ram dass in hell posted:pointless is a cramp and I don't particularly like it either, it's just a tool that's not _false_ but the takeaway shouldn't be "don't practice mercy." the takeaway is "reveal the mercy that's already there." if you're going to quote stuff like this, you have to be really careful to do it skillfully, otherwise the message you send is "don't bother being kind/merciful/whatever," which is not a great thing to be telling people. i think the proper message to send - especially to people without much familiarity with buddhism, like 13 orphans - is probably closer to "you are inherently kind/merciful/whatever, acting in accordance with that is cool and good (and yes you still need to force yourself to do it sometimes it because of obscurations etc)."
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Mar 11, 2024 16:12
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