UKMT March 2020 - Bojo got the Covo - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT March 2020 - Bojo got the Covo

Who is your first pick in the deputy leadership race? This poll is closed.
R. Allin-Khan	6	1.60%
R. Burgon	80	21.33%
D. Butler	72	19.20%
A. Rayner	35	9.33%
I. Murray	5	1.33%
P. Flaps	177	47.20%
Total:	375 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Who else felt the urge to watch Contagion last week?

# ¿ Mar 1, 2020 09:58

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 22:28

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Guavanaut posted:

What do they do with the winged stick?

It's not a winged stick it's a winged hour glass, and the stick is actually a lead that's being pulled taught. When he takes his winged hour glass for a walk, as being shown here, he constantly says "aren't we having fun?" because he's a dad.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2020 16:20

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Guavanaut posted:

That seems too wholesome, although if he was a dad walking his winged hour glass, surely he'd be saying "doesn't time fly?"

That's why he's having fun, cmon man this is intermediate level dadjokes get with the program :colbert:

# ¿ Mar 1, 2020 18:31

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Bardeh posted:

Even though I doubt I'll get paid unless I catch it, I could go for a 2 week self quarantine tbh. Catch up on my video/board games.

I cannot wait for my office to close so i can piss about at home for weeks on end

# ¿ Mar 1, 2020 21:16

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Ash Crimson posted:

o mean do they have enough police to potentially lock London down?

*policeman points at you*

'ave you got a loicense for that being outside

# ¿ Mar 1, 2020 23:45

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

I had a dream last night that the cold I've had for the past three weeks was, in fact, the coronavirus, and I alone had infected like a thousand people all by myself.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2020 23:12

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Junior G-man posted:

Make all SA posters use their own name. It's the only way forward.

A smug grin spreads across Mike Crotch's face

# ¿ Mar 3, 2020 16:38

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Gonzo McFee posted:

https://twitter.com/SkyNews/status/1234801752156835840

Don't... don't do that.

Do not shake hands with people who are really sick.

Even if you wash your hands it's no guarantee.

I can't believe that's something that has to be said.

The key to defeating the virus is to assert dominance when you first come into contact with it. When shaking the hand of an infected person, grasp it firmly and don't let go. Get into their personal space and make yourself look really big to intimidate the virus. Lick the objects in the room to show they belong to you and not the virus.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2020 17:05

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Lt. Danger posted:

Actually, viruses are usually more afraid of you than you are of them

If the virus spots you, stay perfectly still. Viruses can only see movement.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2020 17:10

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

The "doctors" say it only takes one virus to get inside you and start replicating, but how can that be possible? You need a male and a female.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2020 17:16

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Bardeh posted:

I've taped up my bumhole, nostrils, mouth, and eyes. There's no way for the virus to get in. It's just common sense.

I'm operating a points-based infection system so that only the best viruses get in.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2020 17:23

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

The best way to get infected by the Corona virus is to leave the slice of lime in the neck when you drink it.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2020 17:58

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Sloth Life posted:

"bring in shopping bag, shoes off, put shopping in kitchen, shoes on, go get the next bag of shopping rinse repeat".

OBVIOUSLY you put them all on the doormat first and then ferry them to the kitchen, OBVIOUSLY

E: I'm literally recoiling with disappointment at this poor shopping technique

# ¿ Mar 3, 2020 19:34

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Bundy posted:

lol if you don't bring all your shopping in a single trip

Someone's not been virus stockpiling :colbert:

# ¿ Mar 3, 2020 19:58

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

jackhunter64 posted:

The worst one carried a Greggs pasty in the paper bag into the bathroom, put it on the floor,

Could have been worse.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2020 10:01

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

https://twitter.com/JimMFelton/status/1234956828594835457

# ¿ Mar 4, 2020 10:28

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Hey i know we have a lot of twitter followers in this thread so maybe one of you will know.

Is there a way to "subscribe" to a twitter account so i get an email when they post something, similar to the notification option you get on YouTube?

# ¿ Mar 4, 2020 11:39

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

goddamnedtwisto posted:

Surely they're sterilised?

But they've been within 100km of a virus particle, better safe than sorry

# ¿ Mar 4, 2020 15:35

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

OwlFancier posted:

I would be extremely surprised if tories would vote for priti patel.

"One of the good ones"

# ¿ Mar 4, 2020 18:06

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

quote:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-51737116

The Home Office has issued pictures of the post-Brexit passport, describing it as a return to the "iconic blue" used for UK passports before 1988.

Experts in the science of colour - and instant experts on social media - are unconvinced, saying it looks more like black.

BREXIT BETRAYAL

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 08:29

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

namesake posted:

No but you reminded me of the great anecdote about how everyone across the planet who reads the economist reads it for their foreign coverage because everyone sees how laughable their local analysis is.

I seem to recall this thread observing that RT is great for any news outside of Russia, Al Jazeera is great for any news outside of the Middle East, etc.

Is there a name for that phenomenon?

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 10:34

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Jose posted:

The cspam New York times thread is a better bet but it's the idea that you'll read something in the opinion section that you're an expert in and realise it's horribly wrong and then just consume the news section like it's not also wrong

The thing about news is that it's someone telling you stuff and you have no way to respond so it has an air of authority to it, it tricks you into thinking it must be true. Until they hit a topic where you're the authority

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 10:36

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

bessantj posted:

Found out today that I have to pay a company £16 to get paid for the shifts I worked! What fresh hell is that? It can't be legal.

yeah pretty sure if you're owed pay, you don't have to pay to get it. How did you find out? Is the company in question your employer or some payroll intermediary?

E: also check your contract

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 10:53

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

bessantj posted:

Payroll intermediary. I did shifts for McGinley, High Output and Colas and they give the cash to a company called "Payme" who I had to sign up with and am employed by them some how. It's Payme that take the £16 processing fee for me to get my money. The person at High Output I talked to said "don't worry it'll never get above £20 no matter how much you earn." I did want to say something back but it's not her doing so what would be the point.

Well i can only suggest you check your contract, presumably you have a contract of some sort with payme too

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 11:02

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

bessantj posted:

Yes, I'm going to have to look through my e-mails for it.

They know, it was one of the ladies in the office that explained it to me. I don't think I can add it as expenses it would get queried.

Dunno if this applies but it at least gives a link to the institution you can complain to https://www.contractoruk.com/contracts/should_agency_be_charging_me_admin_fees.html

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 11:28

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

It's a poo poo distress signal if it goes unnoticed for weeks. Who the hell decided that would be the distress signal?

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 12:40

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

I suppose the idea is that foreigners *spit* don't notice you're in distress so they don't take advantage and loot your ship, while any decent British person would, being intimately familiar with the flag, notice it sticking out like a sore thumb and lend a hand.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 12:45

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

OwlFancier posted:

Why does a bank have a research department?

To answer the question "How do we make more money"

E: it's probably research into competition, future market trends, not to mention legislation. I'd expect any bank or, indeed, big financial firm to have a research department

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 13:31

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

*a banker jiggles coins in a glass beaker while looking at it through goggles*

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 13:35

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Guavanaut posted:

What pranks am I allowed to do that'll let me steal 50 grand?

Become an elected mp

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 14:41

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

goddamnedtwisto posted:

https://twitter.com/guardian/status/1235548323718676481

The Graun choosing to use a picture of HSBC with a Flybe plane in the foreground is pretty good.

Headline should be: "Flybe crashes as canary wharf evacuated"

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 14:50

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

I hope everyone's :f5:

ing the governments virus page for their 2pm update https://www.gov.uk/guidance/coronavirus-covid-19-information-for-the-public

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 14:58

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Guavanaut posted:

Named after the famous bridge and tunnel guy.

Wait, was that why he was called that?

Born Isambard Kingdom Shiss, his name was updated when he became better known for producing bridges and tunnels.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 16:59

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

WhatEvil posted:

When I first saw this I thought, "Hm, that's cool" but then very shortly afterwards "... this is for gammon, isn't it?".

Bet we'll see loads of companies taking their stuff back to like, 1970s branding, logos, product names, adverts etc.

Gammon love the 1970s unless labour did it

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 18:45

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

It begins.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 18:49

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Huh, so that's why i've been getting more spam calls in the last year

Virgin Media posted:

We are very sorry to have to inform you that we recently became aware that some of your personal information, stored on one of our databases has been accessed without permission. Our investigation is ongoing but we currently understand that the database was accessible from at least 19 April 2019 and that the information has been recently accessed.

To reassure you, the database did NOT include any of your passwords or financial details, such as bank account number or credit card information.

The database was used to manage information about our existing and potential customers in relation to some of our marketing activities. This included: contact details (such as name, home and email address and phone numbers), technical and product information, including any requests you may have made to us using forms on our website. In a very small number of cases, it included date of birth.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 21:20

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Bah i like wilko. Guess I'm gonna have to write them a letter.

Anyway seems like a mandate to work from home is all but inevitable at some point this month, so I'll gonna do my prepper shop tonight and prepare to hole up for probably months.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2020 10:49

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Borrovan posted:

Yeah I saw a Woolworth's in Germany too, but it was no "Woolworth's" as I know it.

Voolvorth's

# ¿ Mar 6, 2020 12:50

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Communist Thoughts posted:

Re: sick leave

When I worked night shift in sainsbos our shift manager gave a big speech about how too many people had been sick and he didn't care if was illegal the next person to call in sick would be fired.
The next day he was off sick

Was he fired

# ¿ Mar 6, 2020 18:38

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 22:28

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

I have a question: why do people keep replying to things with the exact same comment a bunch of other people made? Do they suppose it's somehow necessary to hear "that means 80% didn't sign the letter" from them specifically?

# ¿ Mar 7, 2020 08:28

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