Scott Adams cancelled: The Dilbert Virginity Fortress

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Scott Adams cancelled: The Dilbert Virginity Fortress

Klyith: Aug 3, 2007; GBS Pledge Week

Bugsy posted:

just the pinnacle of humor.

from the yospos musk/tesla thread:

it's probably been pointed out ITT before but it's worth marveling again about how he cannot loving draw for poo poo after 30 loving years of doing it every day

every terrible art webcomic person is able to improve at least a little if they stick at it for a few years. the loving xkcd guy can draw ok now, he started with stick figures.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 05:46

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# ? May 11, 2024 13:44

Sweaty IT Nerd: Jul 13, 2007

That's his style tho

Unlocked

To great horror

# ? Feb 21, 2024 06:06

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Pretty sure he just copy/pastes everything from a folder he hasn't updated in 20 years.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 06:19

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003

lmao at least Ben Garrison drew poo poo until he died and at least his wife tries to copy his style poorly to this day, Scott Dilbert is just :sad:

# ? Feb 21, 2024 06:28

Brother Tadger: Feb 15, 2012; I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!

Sweaty IT Nerd posted:

I saw this quote and thought oh no what did I do?

It was a pretty direct quote. What the gently caress?

I honestly have no idea what you�re saying right now; I wasn�t referring to you when I said �big brain� if that�s what you thought

# ? Feb 21, 2024 06:34

credburn: Jun 22, 2016; A tangled skein of bad opinions, the hottest takes, and the the world's most misinformed nonsense. Do not engage with me, it's useless, and better yet, put me on ignore.

MrQwerty posted:

lmao at least Ben Garrison drew poo poo until he died and at least his wife tries to copy his style poorly to this day, Scott Dilbert is just

# ? Feb 21, 2024 06:39

Samovar: Jun 4, 2011; I'm 😤 not a 🦸🏻‍♂️hero...🧜🏻

biznatchio posted:

He literally thinks he has special powers to alter people's minds to make them do exactly what he wants them to do. This is not a joke, it's what he actually believes.

I can't help but think the fact that his model partner left him may have just given him a bit of doubt in his persuasion abilities.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 07:03

biznatchio: Mar 31, 2001; Buglord

I doubt it. He's probably convinced himself he wanted her to leave. For that sort of person, their identity hinges on justifying everything that happens so that its in their favor because otherwise it means they have to reckon with their own fallibility, which is simply not an option.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 07:16

ELTON JOHN: Feb 17, 2014

MrQwerty posted:

lmao at least Ben Garrison drew poo poo until he died and at least his wife tries to copy his style poorly to this day, Scott Dilbert is just

ben garrison isn't dead tho

# ? Feb 21, 2024 07:45

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Bugsy posted:

just the pinnacle of humor.

from the yospos musk/tesla thread:

Okay to share by taking a photo of the screen with your phone, in true Scott Adams Fan style.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 08:10

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Knormal posted:

Okay to share by taking a photo of the screen with your phone, in true Scott Adams Fan style.

brb just gonna take a photo of this photo, photocopy it a couple of times and pin it up around the office.

The txt obviously won't still be legible but I think people will still get the basic gist.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 09:39

Buce: Dec 23, 2005

scott dilbert is currently the best artist on twitter

# ? Feb 21, 2024 10:11

credburn: Jun 22, 2016; A tangled skein of bad opinions, the hottest takes, and the the world's most misinformed nonsense. Do not engage with me, it's useless, and better yet, put me on ignore.

I recently listened to a Behind the Bastards podcast about Scott Adams and he begins by saying "I'll just be referring to him as The Dilbert Guy because nobody knows who the gently caress Scott Adams is." -- I'm paraphrasing, but it's something like that.

I felt it was weird. I know who Scott Adams is. I feel like a lot of people knows who he is. There are lots of people on Behind the Bastards who I don't know by name but they're not referred to as "The __________ Guy." I feel like there's an inside joke, or some real pettiness going on here I just don't get :confused:

# ? Feb 21, 2024 10:54

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003

It's what he deserves

# ? Feb 21, 2024 11:01

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

credburn posted:

I felt it was weird. I know who Scott Adams is. I feel like a lot of people knows who he is.

I still think everyone should force him to change his name so no one accidentally mistakenly thinks Adam Scott is the crazy rear end in a top hat who wrote dilbert.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 11:02

credburn: Jun 22, 2016; A tangled skein of bad opinions, the hottest takes, and the the world's most misinformed nonsense. Do not engage with me, it's useless, and better yet, put me on ignore.

dr_rat posted:

I still think everyone should force him to change his name so no one accidentally mistakenly thinks Adam Scott is the crazy rear end in a top hat who wrote dilbert.

That guy, Adam Scott, looks like a twin of a guy I know. Honestly, if it weren't weird, I would post a picture of the two and I guarantee you couldn't tell them apart.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 11:14

death cob for cutie: Dec 30, 2006; dwarves won't delve no more
too much splatting down on Zot:4

credburn posted:

I recently listened to a Behind the Bastards podcast about Scott Adams and he begins by saying "I'll just be referring to him as The Dilbert Guy because nobody knows who the gently caress Scott Adams is." -- I'm paraphrasing, but it's something like that.

I felt it was weird. I know who Scott Adams is. I feel like a lot of people knows who he is. There are lots of people on Behind the Bastards who I don't know by name but they're not referred to as "The __________ Guy." I feel like there's an inside joke, or some real pettiness going on here I just don't get

pettiness is usually not a good thing but it's permitted with scott adams. we can even dabble in mean-spiritedness

# ? Feb 21, 2024 12:20

axolotl farmer: May 17, 2007; Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

ELTON JOHN posted:

ben garrison isn't dead tho

he never recovered from covid, and from the change in cartooning style, it looks like his wife is doing most of the drawing now.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 12:58

Internet Old One: Dec 6, 2021; Coke Adds Life

credburn posted:

That guy, Adam Scott, looks like a twin of a guy I know. Honestly, if it weren't weird, I would post a picture of the two and I guarantee you couldn't tell them apart.

There is a factory somewhere pumping out guys who look like late life Scott Adams. He looks like a guy who invites way too many people to meetings.

Even young looking Scott Adams looks like a 90s guy who knows unix or os/400 but has a mac at home.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 13:35

Houle: Oct 21, 2010

For a man in his 60s he sure has colourful use of the language. But only primary colours.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 14:35

cumpantry: Dec 18, 2020; Can't post for 6 hours!

credburn posted:

I recently listened to a Behind the Bastards podcast about Scott Adams and he begins by saying "I'll just be referring to him as The Dilbert Guy because nobody knows who the gently caress Scott Adams is." -- I'm paraphrasing, but it's something like that.

I felt it was weird. I know who Scott Adams is. I feel like a lot of people knows who he is. There are lots of people on Behind the Bastards who I don't know by name but they're not referred to as "The __________ Guy." I feel like there's an inside joke, or some real pettiness going on here I just don't get

no one knows who the gently caress scott adams is lol

# ? Feb 21, 2024 14:38

cumpantry: Dec 18, 2020; Can't post for 6 hours!

Oh that guy from Parks n Rec?

# ? Feb 21, 2024 14:38

Neito: Feb 18, 2009; 😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

Krinkle posted:

Does Scott imagine other black hat hypnotist master manipulators doing constant psychic warfare on him, making him look like a racist dickhead to the larger public, as the only possible explanation for why he's blackballed from every newspaper and divorced. Just wondering how he squares the circle of being in control of his fate and also everyone hating his guts, like, did he want specifically this. Why doesn't he walk up to the comics editor and hypnotize them into giving him his sinecure for life doodle job back.

Yes.

Scott Dilberman posted at one point that he believes a malicious "persueder" is teaching weapons-grade hypnosis to camgirls to scam people (including him) out of millions of dollars.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 14:44

Beefed Owl: Sep 13, 2007; Come at me scrub-lord I'm ripped!

Oh my god I forgot about that.

Incredible. What a gullible douche.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 14:51

Klyith: Aug 3, 2007; GBS Pledge Week

Neito posted:

Scott Dilberman posted at one point that he believes a malicious "persueder" is teaching weapons-grade hypnosis to camgirls to scam people (including him) out of millions of dollars.

post the whole quote it's comedy gold

Scott Dilbert posted:

In other news, for several years I have been tracking a Master Wizard that I believe lives in Southern California. It seems he has trained a small army of attractive women in his method. The women create a specialized style of porn video clips that literally hypnotize the viewer to magnify the orgasm experience beyond anything you probably imagine is possible. Hypnosis has a super-strong impact on about 20% of people. And a lesser-but-strong impact on most of the rest.

Once a customer is hooked, the girls use powerful (and real) hypnosis tools to connect the viewer�s enjoyable experience (a super-orgasm, or several) to the viewer�s act of giving them money, either directly or by buying more clips. Eventually the regular viewers are reprogrammed to get their sexual thrill by the act of donating money to the girls in the videos. There are lots of variations tied to each type of sexual kink, but that�s the general idea.

My best guess is that 10% of the traffic that flows through their business model literally cannot leave until they have no money left. The Master Wizard is that good. The women are well-coached in his methods.

The fascinating thing is that the videos fully-disclose what they are doing, in clear language that is often repeated. The women explain the hypnosis methods they are using much the way I have been dissecting Trump�s technique. Nothing is hidden, at least with this one set of practitioners.

That makes customers feel safe that the hypnosis is just for fun and not actually rewiring them. But it doesn�t work that way. Explaining the technique as you do it actually deepens the effect. Hypnotists learn to do that.

The Master Hypnotist behind all of this found a great loophole in the law. If humans understood how effective these videos are, they would be illegal in the same way gambling is illegal in most places. And the Master Wizard hides in plain site because the Internet is so littered with fake porn hypnosis (women waving watches and saying YOU ARE SLEEPY) that no one expects a real one to sneak into the mix. And this Master Wizard is a polymath of some sort. He also knows how to do high quality video production, data analytics, and A-B testing.

When you combine hypnosis, sex, and A-B testing on a large population, the results are unimaginably powerful. The customers in this situation are getting an insanely good product. The only issue is the price.

If a court ever tries to make this business illegal, the star witness will be the Master Wizard himself.

No jury will ever convict him.

Now THAT�S a business model.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 15:00

Powerful Katrinka: Oct 11, 2021; an admin fat fingered a permaban and all i got was this lousy av

Klyith posted:

post the whole quote it's comedy gold

Imagine I posted the tweet about Elizabeth Holmes that ends with "Sir, that's called being horny."

# ? Feb 21, 2024 19:13

istewart: Apr 13, 2005; Still contemplating why I didn't register here under a clever pseudonym

Knormal posted:

He'd definitely fit in the Dilbert sphere (Dilsphere).

No, sorry, I don't think there's such a thing as a distinct "Dilsphere." Adams is just a polyp on the greater MAGA grievance machine/grift-o-sphere.

# ? Feb 21, 2024 19:50

Akratic Method: Mar 9, 2013; It's going to pay off eventually--I'm sure of it.

Any day now.

istewart posted:

No, sorry, I don't think there's such a thing as a distinct "Dilsphere." Adams is just a polyp on the greater MAGA grievance machine/grift-o-sphere.

You're probably right but I wanna keep saying "Dilsphere."

# ? Feb 21, 2024 20:20

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

Akratic Method posted:

You're probably right but I wanna keep saying "Dilsphere."

sounds like something lacking a flared base

# ? Feb 21, 2024 20:53

istewart: Apr 13, 2005; Still contemplating why I didn't register here under a clever pseudonym

To be fair, thanks to the heavyweight cultural influence of all those daily tear-off calendars and regifted coffee mugs that the state of New York will no longer be receiving, the Master Hypnosis Wizard of Southern California probably starts ensnaring his thralls by telling them, "first, consider a perfectly round, evenly dense Dilsphere..."

# ? Feb 21, 2024 21:14

Mudlark: Nov 10, 2009

Klyith posted:

it's probably been pointed out ITT before but it's worth marveling again about how he cannot loving draw for poo poo after 30 loving years of doing it every day

every terrible art webcomic person is able to improve at least a little if they stick at it for a few years. the loving xkcd guy can draw ok now, he started with stick figures.

dominic deegan of newspaper comics let's be real

# ? Feb 21, 2024 21:22