facetoucher cat posted:

https://www.newsweek.com/kkk-hood-supermarket-santee-san-diego-masks-coronavirus-1501701

The Alpha Centauri posted:

is worldmeters.info still reliable?

twoday posted:

From CNN:

Do you have the 'skin hunger'?

The Dutch-born anthropologist Harald Prins points out the effect coronavirus has already had on his native language:
It appears, not surprisingly, that Covid-19 related neologisms are rampant in the Netherlands (and probably in most if not all other languages, too). I doubt most will survive but some will, albeit with unsuspected accretions.

In Dutch, for example, few realize that a popular word like "klerevent" (difficult to translate, but equivalent to bastard or rotten fellow) derives from cholera (klere).

Here are some Dutch corona neologisms with my free translations (but several terms resonate in a unique social-cultural way in the Netherlands):

Huidhonger / skin hunger: a longing for human contact while in isolation
Anderhalvemeteresamenleving / six-feet-society: an society constructed to avoid spreading coronavirus
Hoestschaamte / cough-shame: the anxiety one may experience about possibly triggering a panic among the people nearby when making a coughing sound for whatever reason
Coronahufter / coronajerk: shopper at a supermarket or store who violates the six-foot social distance prescription or other safe-keeping protocol.
Druppelcontact / spray-contact: exchange of little droplets when sneezing or coughing, esp. as source of infection
Onthamsteren / dehoarding: processing long-stored shelf-stable food into a meal.
Straatschaamte / street-shame: the embarrassment someone experiences when being out for urgently necessary errands during lockdown
Toogviroloog / blather-virologist: dilettante who spreads false or unsubstantiated information about the virus, its transmission, or its treatment

A new Dutch corona lexicon was created and is updated. It already comprises 700 new words, including those noted above.

Zotix posted:

The Senate has said for a while now, no more relief without employer litigation protections.

Inceltown posted:

https://twitter.com/lennythepen/status/1257705936661200899

Chris James 2 posted:

Remember when people in this sub spent 9 weeks posting saying there'd be riots a week or two from their post

everything's getting worse and everyone's either numb to it or fine with it because they magically think a Get Better button is gonna be pushed on it all any day now

Man Musk posted:

los riojanos están curando, la tierra está regresando

A HORNY SWEARENGEN posted:

https://twitter.com/0ddette/status/1258922699491086336?s=19

Flesh Forge posted:

https://twitter.com/AP_Oddities/status/1259094543141609472

Inceltown posted:

https://twitter.com/rachael_dexter/status/1259306149930651648

facetoucher cat posted:

I guess that one's name is Al

Zyklon B Zombie posted:

Has anyone gotten any dental work done during this outbreak? I've got an appointment to get a couple large cavities taken care of this week and it feels like an insanely dangerous place to be. I really don't want to do it now, but I don't want to lose my back molars either.

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud posted:

So he's like any other computer programmer then

Antifa Turkeesian posted:

Did we see this yesterday? Floor-length evangelical skirt person working for Pence orders scientist and elected official to take off masks at campaign event before Pence will agree to walk on stage:

https://twitter.com/jaykelly26/status/1260408949079248899?s=20

MysteriousStranger posted:

jesus said have faith no fear, mask wearing isn't christian and requiring masks to shop is the mark of the beast.

quote:

A storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.

"Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast."

"No," says the preacher. "I have faith in the Lord. He will save me."

Still the waters rise. Now the preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.

"Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee's gonna break any minute."

Once again, the preacher is unmoved. "I shall remain. The Lord will see me through."

After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.

"Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance."

Once again, the preacher insists the Lord will deliver him.

And, predictably, he drowns.

A pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, "Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn't you deliver me from that flood?"

God shakes his head. "What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter."

Chinatown posted:

were doomed lol

https://twitter.com/xan_desanctis/status/1260573101148065794

Ebola Roulette posted:

Do people just not have survival instincts anymore?

Happy Noodle Boy posted:

I’m glad this pandemic has showed us the flaws in our society and we can no calmly make the necessary changes to our way of living to prevent this from happening again.

Inceltown posted:

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1261626674686447621

Man Musk posted:

Speaking of capitalism, Saudi Arabia owns ~8% of Carnival Cruises, plus other recreational stocks...

https://twitter.com/alexweprin/status/1261408123044036608

Maybe opening 'er up is an agenda, maybe not, i do not know.

BULBASAUR posted:

As a late night person I've always loved this about Spain. A culture of night owls and not morning people.

shovelbum posted:

You asked for it, you got it, the Ultimate Shitpost Reader userscript is back.
Built and tested in Tampermonkey on Chrome, this extension does three things:
1) Eliminates all usernames, avatars, and separations between posts. Pure stream of consciousness baby.
2) Constantly reloads the thread and appends new posts to the bottom.
3) Reads these posts out loud in a random voice from among your text to speech patches

Notes: does not work if no page number is visible in URL, now works with page numbers other than 4 digits

code:

// ==UserScript==
// @name         Ultimate Shitpost
// @namespace    [url]http://tampermonkey.net/[/url]
// @version      0.3
// @description  page number bug fixed
// @author       You
// @include        [url]https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php*[/url]
// @grant        none
// @run-at document-start
// ==/UserScript==

(function() {
    'use strict';

    console.log("RESTARTING!");
    var lastpost = 0;
    var newpage = document.createElement( 'html' );
    var previewPage = pageNumber(document);
    //function quoteScript(){}
    //Returns the page number of thread
    function pageNumber(doc){
        return parseInt(document.URL.split(/(pagenumber=)/)[2])
    }
    function threadId(doc){
        return doc.body.classList[2].slice(7);
    }
    function pages(doc){
        return doc.querySelectorAll("select")[0].length
    }
    //Takes a list of post parent objects and returns the last number
    function findLastPost(posts){
        for (let x of posts){
            var last=parseInt(x.id.slice(4));
        }
        return last
    }
    function refreshIntoFalse(){
        var xhttp = new XMLHttpRequest();
        xhttp.onreadystatechange = function() {
            console.log("Reporting ready state and status:");
            console.log(this.readyState);
            console.log(this.status);
            if (this.readyState == 4 && this.status == 200) {
                newpage.innerHTML = this.responseText;
                var postnumbers = newpage.querySelectorAll("table.post");
                console.log("Whatever the gently caress postnumbers are:");
                console.log(postnumbers);
                //checks each post in new iteration of thread
                for (let x of postnumbers){
                    //checks if post is new
                    var last=parseInt(x.id.slice(4));
                    //processes all new posts
                    if(last > lastpost){
                        console.log("NEW POST FOUND");
                        lastpost=last;
                        var blob = document.getElementById("threadamalgam");
                        var newrow = blob.appendChild(document.createElement("tr"));
                        console.log(x.querySelectorAll("td.postbody"));
                        var post=x.querySelectorAll("td.postbody")
                        var userinfos = post[0].querySelectorAll("td.userinfo, p.editedby, td.postdate, td.postlinks, a.quote_link");
                        for (let x of userinfos){
                            x.parentNode.removeChild(x);
                        }
                        newrow.appendChild(post[0]);
                        var regex = /<.*>/gm;
                        var text = post[0].innerHTML;
                        text = text.replace(regex, '');
                        console.log(text);
                        var speech = new SpeechSynthesisUtterance(text);
                        var voices = window.speechSynthesis.getVoices();
                        speech.voice = voices[Math.floor(Math.random()*voices.length)];
                        window.speechSynthesis.speak(speech);
                    }
                }
                //checks for new page
                console.log("current page:" + previewPage);
                //what page am I on now?
                //what is max page in newpage?
                console.log("max pages currently:" + pages(newpage));
                console.log("Page refreshed and scanned");
                //set page to scan to next page
                if(pages(newpage)>previewPage){
                    previewPage++;
                    console.log("loading page:" + previewPage);
                    console.log("Call due to adding pages");
                    refreshIntoFalse();
                }
                else{
                    setTimeout(refreshIntoFalse, 10000);
                }
            }
        };
        xhttp.open("GET", "https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid="+threadId(document)+"&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber="+previewPage, true);
        xhttp.send();
    }
    //post number of last post on page

    var observation = document.head;
    var observer = new MutationObserver(function(){
        if(document.body){
            document.body.style.visibility='hidden'};
        observer=null;
    })
    observer.observe(observation, {subtree: true, childList: true});
    window.addEventListener('load', (event) => {
        console.log("FULLY LOADED");
        console.log(document.body.style.visibility);
        var userinfos = document.querySelectorAll("td.userinfo, p.editedby, td.postdate, td.postlinks, a.quote_link");
        for (let x of userinfos){
            x.parentNode.removeChild(x);
        }
        var threadamalgam = document.getElementById("thread").appendChild(document.createElement("table"));
        console.log(threadamalgam);
        threadamalgam.id = 'threadamalgam';
        var postnumbers = document.querySelectorAll("table.post");
        lastpost=findLastPost(postnumbers);
        var postbodies = document.querySelectorAll("td.postbody");
        for (let x of postbodies){
            var y = document.getElementById("threadamalgam");
            var newrow=y.appendChild(document.createElement("tr"));
            newrow.appendChild(x);
        }
        var posts = document.querySelectorAll("table.post");
        for (let x of posts){
            x.style.visibility="hidden";
        }
        threadamalgam.className=("post");
        document.body.style.visibility="visible";
        //document.addEventListener("mouseup", quoteScript);
        refreshIntoFalse();
    })


})();

gregday posted: