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Have corporate branding that is hip and punk and cutting edge in a traditionally pretty dry industry, then hem and haw about homeoffice during a pandemic.
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Jan 30, 2021 18:37
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hot cocoa on the couch posted:My current job is actually pretty great, not much to complain about, aside from the workload/pace being a bit frantic at times but management is generally understanding and supportive of us. I have worked a few engineering jobs now though and I have to ask, does ANYONE in engineering/manufacturing use good ERP software? They all seem like they were written by some loving university student who just discovered Access. Why is enterprise software always so bad? I don't get it Ive worked with multiple financial booking and some such softwares and they legit all look like they were made with windows 95. Coincidentally the users are mainly women above 40 who started working during the windows 95 era.
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Jan 30, 2021 18:49
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The it nerd is standing in front of my desk, spittle flying out of his sputtering mouth as he is jabbering on and on about some "firewall" and "security" or some bullshit. I watch as his head turns redder and redder while his feeble arms pound the table in front of me. With a smirk I unpack a brand new tablet from an unknown Chinese company. It's cheaper and slicker than any of the dumb things these nerds want me to use. I slowly and deliberately connect it to the wifi while the guy gets tears in his eye. He slinks off defeated after a few minutes, as he knows he cannot win. The ceo and I share a WhatsApp group for funny memes. We're tight. I can haz tablez.
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Jan 31, 2021 11:44
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I've never worked with teams before my current job and I like it a lot, having meetings and stuff managed over my own calender is cool.
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Jan 31, 2021 14:41
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Charles Bukowski posted:I think a pretty sweet job would be listening to podcasts and chopping wood. No politics, just a splitting maul and a fine hard stump for your base. Holy poo poo does this speak to me. When people ask me what my perfect job would be like and I'm being honest I always reply chopping wood. Just chopping wood. Good honest physical work, constant progress, and regular satisfaction when you finished splitting a good and heavy piece. Also a question on the salutation thing to y'all, I'm not a native English speaker so my office English is rudimentary, what's a good all around salutation set for every day business mails? I've been going with dear x, or just hello x if we've reached a more informal level to greet, and either best regards or regards when closing. Is that alright?
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Feb 16, 2021 23:18
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teen witch posted:Bingo. There’s also an informal hierarchy as to closers “best regards - we cool, regards - dead to me” Great, thanks! didn't know about the hierarchy. If you don't like these things I can recommend getting some business partners in Denmark/skandinavia, they go directly for the "hi first name... Regards". It's very relaxing as they mostly don't give a gently caress.
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Feb 16, 2021 23:31
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Rockman Reserve posted:
This is frankly incredible, I cannot believe this person exists and was hired, like, anywhere. If I saw someone wearing a chain mail shirt in a threadmill I'd assume I lost my mind. The thread is turning out to be really funny btw, keep it up guys, loving this.
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Feb 19, 2021 14:42
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are you guys working at an email factory or what's going on there
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Feb 19, 2021 17:25
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The Walrus posted:I work in retail, lots of communicating with vendors etc. It's gotten better since we got Teams since there's a lot of in-office back and forth. Ah, makes sense. I used to work as a dispatcher for electricians and I averaged about 50 a day and thought that was a lot..
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Feb 19, 2021 17:32
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Whipstickagostop posted:Agreed, but this guy wasn't an alcoholic. Someone messaged his wife on Facebook to see if he was okay and asked if he had ever done that before. He had the occasional beer on special occasions but that was it. I'm reminded of the first time I and many of my friends had beer at a private graduation party at the age of 15 (in Germany some people finish school in grade 9). We were all dumb teens but what the alcohol unleashed was some primal poo poo where hornyness and testosterone went rampant. I still remember it because that first rush of being truly drunk was a complete breakdown of social etiquette and behavior, we literally lost control. When you drink more you learn to control it and learn your limits, but I can absolutely believe that people who never drank before just go literally hog wild.
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Feb 19, 2021 23:49
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Outrail posted:IT isn't doesn't get any tickets? Must be redundant let's close that department. IT has a 100 percent successfully closed ticket rate, let's make them employees of the month and give each of them a brand new cup.
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Feb 22, 2021 20:26
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Don't use the c word please. (no really, what's the issue?)
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Feb 24, 2021 13:02
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AHH F/UGH posted:Here's the best email I ever got from one of our field techs. No information, no context, no nothing - just three words, his typical Windows 3.1 background, and his name. I'm assuming he was on site at 333G (Project code? location code? customer code?) and didn't know what the problem was? Minimalist emails are a joy when they reach a level of a sentence or less. Sometimes they're all you need, sometimes they're missing some crucial info, sometimes it's a riddle that stumps you. A friend I interned with wrote an email on his last day that was quote:subject: cake for last day in kitchen It fit him so well it's still one of my favorite emails ever.
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Feb 24, 2021 19:10
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Tetramin posted:Hot desking at any job that isn’t like, a call center is obscene. My job has introduced hot desking as an incentive to get more homeoffice days. 2 instead of 1 if you opt in, after corona of course. I'm very annoyed that homeoffice is such a big deal for a company that brands itself as a "fresh, innovative player on a dusty market", hell, we've got a variation of the word punk in our name. I'm an adult, let me set my own office days ffs, I'm actually sick af of only sitting at home but the commute is 1.5 hours every day and staying at home is very good for my motivation you idiots.
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Feb 28, 2021 09:09
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Bright Bart posted:In some (or all?) EU countries it is standard to have your picture on your CV. That is not only annoying but also makes printing what will likely get thrown into the bin (or if you're lucky shredded) much more expensive as colour is expected. Deffo a thing in Germany but might be on its way out. Stuff like birth date, family status (single/married) and hobbies are also common. I was quite surprised to learn that many jobs outside of Germany don't expect stuff like pictures, age, and all that. I'd love for that to become standard here, I even heard about some places not wanting gender, heritage or even names and it's sound so much better.
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Mar 1, 2021 18:11
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Bright Bart posted:Heritage? Why not ask if you were born a bastard while they're at it? The weirdest one I have seen while in your neigbouring country was a firm asking what your "military disposition" is, as an open ended question. Not sure if this is to hire veterans or to disclude people who are reservists or territorialists for whom they would be legally obliged to give time off for training on short notice. Heritage was perhaps the wrong word, it's more the nationality and for some reason birthplace (which naturally gives you a decent idea of what the heritage is). And no you can't really ask about personal stuff apart from small talk or open ended questions, but some recruiters might try to weasel the info out of you. Young woman being asked directly or indirectly about their family planing is not allowed but still happens. I'm sure that's not just a thing here though. Inzombiac posted:Good lord. Yup, but finding a person that "is a good fit" unfortunately still includes the "right" background in certain cases. From innocuous things such as "s/he looks confident" to "Salman huh, we're pretty catholic here.." it makes it pretty easy to profile people if you're so inclined. I wish they'd get rid of it, I know many people from arabic or other backgrounds who have huge dissadvantages because of their name or birthplace. Galewolf posted:This sounds like my home country, Turkey as well (it is common to follow European/German trends in there) with the mind-boggling trend of having 10 page CVs including hobbies, "career goals" (lol), and full on references. drat dude, this is legit illegal here and you are well in your rights to not answer or just lie, that sounds horrible. Hope you found something much better, what a prick. Also from what you're saying Turkey somehow manages to take the cake in useless information on a CV, our hobbies thing is mostly a few bullet points like "sports, video games, hentai" or something.
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Mar 1, 2021 19:57
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titty_baby_ posted:I am legitimately considering leaving my job to work on a weed farm. The pay is slightly higher and the commute is further, but i think I'd feel better doing agricultural work then "working from home" and lying to my employers constantly I've been getting into gardening more and more in the last few years, and weed farming would a really cool way to monetize on that. Problem is here in germany weed is still treated like loving heroin, so even getting a small grow setup for yourself will get you in serious trouble if anybody finds out. It's dumb af. It sounds interesting, so why not dude?
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Mar 4, 2021 18:43
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George H.W. oval office posted:We had a client that didn’t give coffee to employees. Two ladies had a complete grip of the Keurig market selling pods for a dollar a piece. Absolutely ruthless in blackballing others that tried to butt in their market Just... Buy your own pods :?: Also seriously, what kind of office job doesn't provide free coffee?? I've worked a few lovely jobs so far and even those had simple drip machines, bean to cup machines are the average and ironically the most soul crushing and toxic place had a full blown automatic system with cocoa, milk powder and two kinds of beans by the time I left. I'm lucky enough to be in a secure job market for now and no coffee machine would legit be a reason not to take a job for me. Not because I'm entitled enough to make this a deal breaker but because a place like Tha tobviously doesn't give a gently caress about their employees.
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Mar 5, 2021 07:53
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I know this is mostly a US people thread but the entire sick day thing is extremely fitting for this thread. Having a finite amount of days you can allot for "being sick" and getting fired for using them is so incredibly inhuman it's something from a 18th century Victorian industrial tycoon playbook.
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Mar 7, 2021 07:23
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Lol yeah if I see someone working for 60+ hours a week for no good reason I definitly admire them instead of thinking they're pitiable people who got brainwashed into seeing work as the point of living. Imagine making work the focus on your life instead of literally everything else.
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Mar 7, 2021 16:28
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Wait, is sick leave unpaid? Are pto days also unpaid?? Is there a single good thing about US employer rights at all? I sweat listening to us Americans talk about their jobs is like listening to abuse victims sometimes, I am so sorry 
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Mar 8, 2021 07:27
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Dongsturm posted:From a while back, but this really explains what is happening in my job search. I am currently job-hunting in Germany, and I'm getting zero callbacks from German firms. Just a straight rejection, which is surprising for me because I'm getting instant callbacks from international firms. On paper I should look good to a local firm. I guess it is because I'm not providing enough personal information. Which is hilarious since we are incredibly paranoid about privacy, at least on paper. If you look at Google streets the entirety of Europe is mapped completely, only Germany is a barren wasteland with a few major cities being mapped. Many opted to obscure their houses too, because, uh, people can't see what their house looks like on the outside. The Corona app we have is deeply mistrusted because of privacy issues too, while everybody is sharing their data freely on Facebook and other services. It's dumb as gently caress but everywhere. In any case applications in Germany are pretty arbitrary and I hate it too, if you don't follow a very specific format you'll not get much feedback if you're not one of a few extremely in demand jobs. There's a reason we are known to follow rules blindly even if they make no sense. The house thing is also true, last time I applied for a appartment in Berlin I included my employment status and yearly salary because my chances were much worse without that. No idea if that is common but I'm guessing no.
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Mar 8, 2021 13:55
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Thanks for the explanations of PTO and sick days and so on, it really sounds quite arbitrary and complicated.
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Mar 8, 2021 17:34
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wooger posted:Granted that it’s on your employer to provide such equipment, but the productivity falloff from not having dual screens and real peripherals is too great in many jobs. At work I have two big monitors and my laptop open at all time, I've gotten very used to 3 monitors at the same time and will insist on it in the future. Having two at home is fine because my own is huge, but working with one is something that I can't fathom anymore.
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Mar 17, 2021 13:44
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I wish my country did the Swedish thing were everyone's salaries are (allegedly) posted publicly so that you know exactly what everyone makes. But yeah, as soon as you start talking about salaries someone is going to be unhappy and it can ruin the entire morale of a place, was one of the main reasons I quit my last job. Not only did I know what other people made and didn't get any offer close to what I found acceptable, I also had a boss who used a weird fucky neogitation tactic where he stretched the salary negotiation into 4 different meetings, always offering a tiny bit more money and benefits I wasn't interested in. It was super disrespectful. God I hated that job at the end.
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Mar 24, 2021 16:14
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Volmarias posted:I don't think it was the talking about salaries part that ruined your morale. Nah I know, the entire place was lead horribly, but the people were to date the best team I ever worked with, ironically. The lovely salary and knowing how much others made (which was more, but not market rate either) was just the icing on the cake.
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Mar 24, 2021 19:40
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In Germany we have a word for this: "betriebsblindheit" or workplace blindness. There's a one week period at any new job where you look at things and wonder whether you could improve them, after which you stop thinking about it and just keep doing it as you've always done. Still, I feel for you as a former intern who had to do data entry stuff often which could have been automated very easily by someone with some coding skill.
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Mar 30, 2021 05:29
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Outrail posted:E: The beauty is that we combine words that we already use so it's easy to do and normally kind of intuitive. German animal names are hilarious for this reason. Hm, it has a face like a toad, and it's back looks like a shield?? Let's call it a Schildkröte! An animal that's very stinky? Stinktier! An animal that's very lazy? Faultier! This animal looks a bit like it's wearing many belts! Well guess what we're gonna call it, Gürteltier! This mouse is running a lot, guess we'll call it a rennmaus and be done with it. Like 50 percent of our animal names are just "attribute + tier" or "attribute + animal it kind of looks like".
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Mar 30, 2021 06:52
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It's a pretty good (and depressingly accurate) imitation of "this is what managers actually believe"
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Mar 30, 2021 16:08
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Outrail posted:Completely unrelated but I just realised where the phrase 'fed up' comes from. Tell me.
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Apr 1, 2021 16:07
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That seems pretty obvious in retrospect so I assume you're correct!
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Apr 1, 2021 16:48
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titty_baby_ posted:I've decided I'm putting in my two weeks Monday. I don't have another job lined up and I don't give a poo poo. I have enough in the bank to ride out the rest of the year if needed, and I'll be able to find temp work quickly enough. I know its stupid to leave a job without another lined up, but im in such a bad place mentally right now that I need to make some sort of change. I dread going into work and have so much anxiety and grief from it that leaving is necessary for my well being. I did that last January and immediately found a job with better pay, more interesting stuff to do, and a way better atmosphere. It's worth it, my anxiety and general happiness have both improved tremendously since then. Good luck!
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Apr 3, 2021 22:06
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If you're getting indignant about someone not being available for slack calls immediately the problem is not the coworker, what the hell? I'm a busy person when I'm working, maybe I'm finishing up an email, maybe I'm looking for documentation, maybe I'm talking to someone else, or maybe I'm just taking a break and making myself a drat coffee like a human being. If a boss or coworker can't wait 10 minutes for me to be available then gently caress that. Sounds like the boss was pretty distraught but I'd be pretty offended if my team members left me out of meetings just because I'm not playing whack a mole with requests at my computer all day. The coworker sounds pretty annoying from what you've been describing but you maybe need to relax a bit more as well.
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Apr 4, 2021 07:33
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cynic posted:New job trip report: it's awesome and they keep trying to give me more money and shares and poo poo. Did this at my last job, got waaay under market value and told them I'd like a 20 percent increase or Friday's off for the same pay, which would still be under market value. They offered me 0 percent and the option to take every second Friday off with no pay, and to maybe switch departments, maybe, talk to boss 2. Stopped caring that week, sat on my rear end for the last few months until I got them to fire me so I got unemployment benefits, then sent out exactly one application after chilling for 2 months and got a job at a former partner for 30 a percent increase in pay. Someone at the former company gave me a glowing review too appearantly and even though I was close to many people and it was a tiny company, I never found out who it was. The takeaway is pay your loving employees what they're due. I'm not proud of my work performance in the last few months but apart from that regret only working at that exploitation factory for so long. The lead Logistik engineer, an extremely smart woman who unfortunately had no self esteem, got literally half of market value and no raises after 5 years working there. My former team lead, who was the only competent manager in that place and worked hard so we were happy, said she literally felt sick when she found out. Man I just realized even writing this makes my blood boil, quitting that place was the best decision I ever did career wise and I learned to never sell myself under value again. Know your worth and fight for it people, managers are not your friend.
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Apr 8, 2021 06:33
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There's a little program called caffeine which emulates mouse clicks to keep it active. If your job has a lax it privilege setting on your work pc you can also just install that
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Apr 10, 2021 22:12
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Didn't taxes get reduced from 35 to 21 percent under trump? And the plan is to increase them to 28, so it's still a net reduction?
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Apr 13, 2021 13:52
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How many do you get in Japan? E: also sick days still infuriate and confuse me. What happens if you run out because you're seriously ill? Do you just get fired? Or is the company showing goodwill and just not paying you?
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Apr 17, 2021 07:28
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zedprime posted:Directors/VPs/investors all watch TV/Youtube like every other schlub and advertising works for every type of purchase. Company values are typically investor targeted advertisements although they actually work for hiring/job awareness too because not everyone is a cynic I guess. Large purchasing decisions are driven at the top of management. Advertising brain real estate is valuable here so any impression is a good impression and you might need to cast the net wide when your target population is 200 alien reptilians spread across the US. Not even the just highest echelon needs to see them, random engineers or other expert are enough. Even if the bosses have to sign off on it, engineers use components worth millions, and if they're looking for a new pump and just saw an ad for the MegaSuck 3000 oil pump, then that's the first model they're going to check out. On the other hand youtube also sometimes just doesn't let go, I was studying for a sensor exam in uni with youtube, and got ads for random flow sensor components for years.
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Apr 19, 2021 14:52
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goatface posted:There were some "automatic male genital massagers", yes, lots of fancy overengineered fleshlights, but also simpler things like vibrators with larger controls that could be controlled by people struggling with fine motor control, some stuff like body supports and things like pillows with dildos built into them that could be rocked on in comfort. Did you check out the autoblow 2.0 Because that thing is hilarious and so is the ad
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Apr 19, 2021 15:40
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Inzombiac posted:It was more like I'm not gonna lie, I love this guys attitude. The loving gall. I've worked at a job that sucked so bad that I daydreamed about something like this daily, but I wasn't gutsy enough. To be fair this guy is propably just a dick, but a man can dream of giving it to the machine.
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Apr 20, 2021 19:57
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