selling used items but the ads are way too specific, in a vaguely unsettlin

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > selling used items but the ads are way too specific, in a vaguely unsettlin

«‹›2 »

biosterous

g way

biosterous posted:

selling used items but the ads are way too specific, in a vaguely unsettling way

"for sale: hair clippers. used exactly once"

Finger Prince posted:

Used axe. Only used for chopping wood. Thoroughly cleaned prior to selling.

biosterous posted:

one box of assorted chocolate bars. box is sealed with original glue

google THIS posted:

For sale: baby shoes, never worn, listed size is actually a child's "T" size

Dip Viscous posted:

kitchenaid stand mixer, like new in box, did NOT get used for "you know what"

Skanky Burns posted:

For sale: Rolling pin. Condom not included.

Filthy Hans posted:

free refrigerator, works well but I'm letting it go because it's haunted

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Feb 13, 2021 14:52

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 24, 2024 06:00

Deep Glove Bruno: yung swamp thang

neodymium magnets, new in box, can still be used to do the unspeakable

# ? Feb 13, 2021 15:12

biosterous

selling chainsaw. was used to cut wood. chain has no telltale damage.

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Feb 13, 2021 15:48

Finger Prince

1986 Ford Econoline 350, white, some rust. 186k miles. Professionally cleaned inside and out. No title. Comes with 20sqft of polyethylene sheeting.

# ? Feb 13, 2021 16:15

nut

1998 version of Perfection boardgame. All loose pieces missing. Still capable of launching small pieces of lint or rice following countdown timer.

# ? Feb 13, 2021 16:25

Finger Prince

1 box of Depends brand adult diapers, unopened.
Reason for selling: realized diaper play just isn't my bag.

# ? Feb 13, 2021 16:31

Barking Gecko: Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

Electric hedge trimmer, lightly used. New power cord.

# ? Feb 13, 2021 17:09

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

FOR SALE: Vitamix Series 750 blender, used lightly. Original Vac-U-Lock attachment still in place. NOT for food use.

Join the BYOB Army

^{thank you again Saoshyant!!}

# ? Feb 13, 2021 17:26

Finger Prince

Real Doll sex doll. 2.5 years old. Never used for sex. Bought to play a joke on my buddy, but by the time she arrived, the opportunity kind of passed on that one, and the company said they wouldn't accept returns. So I kind of got stuck with her and didn't know what to do. So, I just sort of posed her around the house, bought some funny outfits for her and would dress her up and put her on the porch as a laugh. And anyway the neighbors kind of complained, so she's back inside, currently wearing a butler's outfit holding a teapot. No I would not like some tea, Sally, for the last time! I call her Sally. Anyway what was I talking about? Oh yeah I'd dress her up in outfits. So we had some fun, you know? JESUS CHRIST SALLY PUT THE TEAPOT DOWN! Hold on, just a minute..............Sorry about that. Sometimes she can be a bit much. So as I was saying, _{lately she's been... Looking... at me. It's hard to describe... Like a, oh I don't know, like a dog. But not your: dog, you know what I mean?} Hehe, fine Sally, we're fine in here. $1500 or best offer. Would consider trades for an ATV or a chainsaw and cash my way.

# ? Feb 13, 2021 17:58

alexandriao

Chinese-made wooden guitar. Used for a total of 30 hours of live gigs in Europe. Strings vibrate with a steel tone despite being nylon. Small patch of a virgin human woman's blood on the bottom due to a bar fight. Human tooth rattles inside the guitar but impossible to get out.

# ? Feb 13, 2021 18:08

Prof. Crocodile

alexandriao posted:

Chinese-made wooden guitar. Used for a total of 30 hours of live gigs in Europe. Strings vibrate with a steel tone despite being nylon. Small patch of a virgin human woman's blood on the bottom due to a bar fight. Human tooth rattles inside the guitar but impossible to get out.

Yes hello I would like to buy this haunted guitar pls.

# ? Feb 13, 2021 18:31

Prof. Crocodile

For sale: one exercise bike. no chance of death or dismemberment as long as seat is set at correct height.

# ? Feb 13, 2021 18:34

google THIS

Beautiful antique music box, only deliberately played once

# ? Feb 13, 2021 18:40

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

Free: one delicious looking and unblemished red apple. It looks perfect.

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Feb 13, 2021 18:49

Horrible Butts

For sale: Set of four collectable Star Wars cups.
I will be sending them to you one at a time, when I sense you are ready for the next one I'll send it.

https://giant.gfycat.com/sillyremorsefuldipper.webm
_{Thank you Prof. Crocodile for the fun festive winter sig!

Arcane gob born of Khanstant's goblin gumball machine!}

# ? Feb 13, 2021 19:41

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Just a regular box don't worry about it.

# ? Feb 13, 2021 20:04

mailorder bees: FLUFFERNUTTER

for sale, baby shoes, teriyaki flavor

thanks Manifisto!

# ? Feb 13, 2021 20:06

Finger Prince

325.1333333333ml cat semen

# ? Feb 13, 2021 20:37

AARD VARKMAN

used ham. original packaging but manual not included

# ? Feb 13, 2021 20:43

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

minecraft_holmes posted:

for sale, baby shoes, teriyaki flavor

# ? Feb 13, 2021 20:51

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

For sale: 723 grams of American Flag

# ? Feb 13, 2021 21:17

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

For sale: Hoover upright vacuum cleaner, no remaining odor.

# ? Feb 13, 2021 21:19

Manifisto

for sale: ancient leather-covered tome, eldritch runes very legible, small but significant typo in one of the major summoning spells discovered by former owner

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Feb 13, 2021 22:57

Heather Papps: hello friend

for sale: one glove, DO NOT ASK ABOUT OTHER GLOVE

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 13, 2021 22:59

alexandriao

Manifisto posted:

for sale: ancient leather-covered tome, eldritch runes very legible, small but significant typo in one of the major summoning spells discovered by former owner

was... was it a sexy mistake 👉👈

# ? Feb 13, 2021 23:15

Manifisto

alexandriao posted:

was... was it a sexy mistake 👉👈

I suppose that may depend on from whose perspective, but definitely not for the former owner (rip)

relatedly, I don't think the succubus summoning spell has been vetted for typos, so maybe proceed with caution on that one

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Feb 13, 2021 23:54

Finger Prince

Free: bathroom vanity mirror. Only said "Candyman" into it once. Maybe twice.

# ? Feb 14, 2021 00:12

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

For sale: peach pies, whole or half (left halves only)

# ? Feb 14, 2021 00:13

Manifisto

for sale: artichokes (viscera and organs mostly intact)

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Feb 14, 2021 00:25

mailorder bees: FLUFFERNUTTER

gently used porterhouse steak for sale

thanks Manifisto!

# ? Feb 14, 2021 00:43

Heather Papps: hello friend

trying to sell my ex-motorcycle. very modded.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 14, 2021 00:57

Finger Prince

Free to a good home: 6.5 kittens

# ? Feb 14, 2021 01:09

mailorder bees: FLUFFERNUTTER

gently used shoes for sale, soles sold soleprately

(for real, though, the sole costs extra)

thanks Manifisto!

# ? Feb 14, 2021 01:27

Manifisto

one (1) human soul, $10 obo (original owner doesn't want it back)

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Feb 14, 2021 02:45

nut

bop it (gen 1). you can do all but one of the actions. but which? adventure awaits, the faint hearted need not apply

# ? Feb 14, 2021 04:39

Bright Bart: False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

Assortment of bones. Definitely beef as I had it checked by a laboratory. A copy of the results should be available for an extra fee.

# ? Feb 14, 2021 13:54

Bright Bart: False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

Wood-chopping services - No funny stuff though. I don't do nudity and there are no "happy endings" involved. Just chop the wood.

# ? Feb 14, 2021 13:58

Bright Bart: False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

One LV handbag in good condition - I bought it so I own it. Definitely not stolen. And if it were she is a heartbreaking skank anyways.

Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 14:08 on Feb 14, 2021

# ? Feb 14, 2021 14:02

Finger Prince

Pet bat, cage and accessories included. Rescued from a Wuhan meat market. Can't keep him because I think he's allergic to something in my place. He does the cutest little sneezes!

# ? Feb 14, 2021 14:11

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 24, 2024 06:00

Dip Viscous

18 gauge dewalt cordless brad nailer, already been autoclaved, includes three batteries and "storage" "bag"

# ? Feb 14, 2021 14:20

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > selling used items but the ads are way too specific, in a vaguely unsettlin

«‹›2 »