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Client: Hey Buttchocks, instead of working from home on your own CAD workstation, would you be interested in flying to our office on the other side of the country during the week and then flying home on the weekend, every week during the holiday season, in the middle of a pandemic, so you can use a lovely laptop in one of our lovely cubicles? That way, instead of having conference calls with a bunch of people, you could sit in a room with another person while having conference calls with a bunch of people! We think this might improve productivity. Me: I can't imagine why your projects are always behind schedule and going over budget. 
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Dec 1, 2021 06:40
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cruft posted:We're getting the same thing. It's mind blowing. This is the same client that asked me to fly down to their office to give a presentation to senior management, and when I got there half the people who were supposed to attend skipped it, and the other half phoned in from somewhere else. I spent an entire 14-hour day traveling for no reason. |
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Dec 1, 2021 23:27
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Escape From Noise posted:I'm just burnt out and don't really know what to do. Just feel like everything fell apart two and a half years ago and since then I've been hitting nothing but brick walls. Speaking of burned out, I was supposed to visit a construction site this week for an industrial plant that is replacing one that burned down a few years ago. My trip got cancelled at the last minute because the replacement facility had a fire. At least it didn't sink into a swamp. |
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Feb 23, 2022 03:48
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Today I had to write a lien waiver, as in make one up from scratch, because stupid client requires one but didn't give me the form to fill out. I'm glad I'm not a lawyer. This poo poo sucks. I kind of understand the legal purpose of them, but seriously why bother. We're not going to sue you out of your corporate headquarters over a four-figure sum. And I have to get them notorized, which means a trip to the bank. Notaries are an even stupider thing that exists. Just pay the drat invoice for fucks sake it's pocket change to you and you're just going to rubber stamp it anyways stop wasting my time. Thank you for your business! |
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Mar 2, 2022 03:48
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more falafel please posted:actually gently caress that security training because a few weeks later I got an email from them with the subject like "<company> security alert" with a from address of Kevin mitnick's security training company and a link which I verified was to Kevin mitnick's security training company, so after I verified all that I clicked the link, which took me to a page that said "haha rekt you got phished, now you have to do remedial security training" and like, no I fuckin didn't Common mistake. You're supposed to reply all to everyone in the company email directory and ask "Kevin, is this really from you?" |
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Mar 5, 2022 20:38
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I wanted to go buy some flowers this morning but then a client scheduled a meeting, and then rescheduled it twice for later in the morning. So I sat around all morning waiting for a 10 minute meeting to happen and now I want to go back to bed. |
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May 20, 2022 16:13
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Charles Bukowski posted:I'm here at work on my birthday. I finished the night audit so I'm sitting here shitposting until I have to start the continental breakfast and then go home. My girlfriend wants to take me out for breakfast, I'll probably stay up all day and be Hella tired. Happy Birthday! |
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Jun 6, 2022 21:52
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Thank you, Client, for cancelling our 4:30pm meeting. I just wish you had bothered to tell me it was cancelled instead of ghosting. 
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Jun 6, 2022 21:54
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Farecoal posted:New gamey flavored beer flight beer |
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Jul 7, 2022 19:20
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Zil posted:Being a new hire IT seems they just want to mess with me and keep sending me phishing training stuff. Almost at the point of getting a phishing test once a week now for two months. Send them your own phishing test. |
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Aug 17, 2022 23:32
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xcheopis posted:That's one of the things it will take a bit of time to type out (with one or two links to help mark out boundaries) but essentially: it's well documented that people with Hoarding Disorder have "clutter blindness" - they literally do not see how bad it is, even when they can no longer access their refrigerator (or whatever). That's really interesting. I have some moderate hoarders in my family and would like to know more about the blue tape. I did workplace sexual harassment training this week and it was hilarious. That video has ruined me. You know the one. |
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Aug 24, 2022 23:03
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more falafel please posted:the fact that almost no one has pensions anymore is gonna gently caress the labor market for decades if not more. kids reacting to pensions: "What do you mean you don't have to work anymore? Why do checks keep showing up in your mail? This is fun, but I'm late for my shift at McDonalds." |
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Sep 13, 2022 01:04
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we have a client who still uses an aol email account. Guess what their job is. corporate lawyer |
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Nov 4, 2022 12:51
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I think I might work for a cult. The upper managers made us sit through a lecture this week about how it's totally worth it to make sacrifices and work 80/hr weeks in order to become a super-manager who makes lots of money for the company. Sounded a lot like what you'd hear in a church/MLM scam and set off a lot of red flags for me. Also apparently in order to get a position in upper management, you need to participate in something called The Path and buy a lot of shares. If our office has some sort of alter in the basement, I haven't found it yet, but I wouldn't be surprised. Gosh, now I feel like one of those Lovecraftian characters who investigates secret worshipers of some ancient Deep One and goes mad or turns into a fish. |
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Nov 11, 2022 07:28
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Edward Fingerhands posted:No no that part is fine! That's fine. They said I had guaranteed employment for the rest of my life. Shoulda read the fine print. |
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Nov 11, 2022 19:15
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Edward Fingerhands posted:Same, but, some people will stay thinking it gets better. Yeah, I kinda hosed myself over so quitting isn't a great option right now. Fortunately for me I have no ambition or delusions and don't give a poo poo about this company, and my lowly arse isn't doing anywhere near that much overtime. The sad part is seeing all the people who spend so much time at work that their children call the cat 'Dad' trying desperately to convince themselves they made the right decision in life. I would feel sympathy, but then I remember that cult victims often help perpetuate the system. I just wish our timesheets weren't bound in human skin and printed in a dead language. |
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Nov 12, 2022 00:08
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more falafel please posted:please don't. i used to work at a company that would post a list of divorces that had happened over the course of a project, you know, for fun. it's physically bad for you. it is harming your body wtf, did they list suicides too? |
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Nov 12, 2022 14:56
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It's the annual food truck day! All 250 of you get a free meal coupon to use! [Yay!] Unfortunately there's only one food truck this year. [Oh.] And they will only be there between noon and 1. [Oh gently caress.] |
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Nov 16, 2022 18:18
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Sarah Cenia posted:I had to show a very sick man around to pick out his own grave and it was very awkward Can they repossess a grave? |
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Nov 17, 2022 19:04
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Cult update: I found out there's an even more exclusive invitation-only Society that oversees a lot of the influencer-type poo poo within the company, including the government bribe committee. They even have an emblem, and it no poo poo looks like manifisto's av. ok, not really, but it looks exactly like what someone deliberately designing a cult emblem would come up with. I'm keeping an eye out for signet rings now. |
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Nov 18, 2022 04:25
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spent all day trying to convert geodata from one coordinate system into another and just could not get it to work. turns out our company ArcGIS license somehow doesn't include the bit that transforms coordinate systems. |
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Nov 23, 2022 03:19
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Soapyshoes posted:I'm pretty sure aluminum and stainless steel are the exact same thing You can use them interchangeably in things like ships. it's fine. Our CEO's Thanksgiving address to us was essentially, "It upsets me when people aren't smiling at me, so smile more!" Thankfully he forgot to add "And you'd be prettier too!" |
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Nov 23, 2022 23:04
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as a professional garbage collector, I am doubly confused. |
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Nov 25, 2022 18:05
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Me: The reports generated by our enterprise-class accounting software are all wrong. How am I supposed to do the quarterly figures? Accounting: You could keep track of those on your own in an excel spreadsheet. Me: What if I just make up the numbers? Accounting: We suggest people do that too. I don't know why we even have an accounting department. Actually, departments plural. |
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Dec 2, 2022 23:25
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Is that carpet or crushed stone? |
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Dec 17, 2022 18:24
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At work we have headsets that are tiny and made of flimsy plastic. I looked them up because I was bored and they cost $200. WTF? This has to be some sort of racket. They're really uncomfortable too, but the dumbest thing is they're "noise-cancelling" but only cover one ear. Great job, I'm glad to know this is what the company is spending our revenue on. |
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Dec 22, 2022 01:11
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time for a new dehumidifier |
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Dec 23, 2022 03:36
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You are a brave and rare soul. You definitely break the mold. |
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Dec 27, 2022 17:33
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Dr. Honked posted:current state of the corporate fruit bowl no soy sauce packets 3/10 |
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Jan 5, 2023 19:35
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Why are tables so awful in Word?? Doing even simple tables is a pain in the rear end. I thinnk the secret is to import them from excel as a jpeg. Otherwise formatting them sucks |
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Jan 13, 2023 17:54
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Today in asinine corporate logic, my expense report got returned because the hotel rate was above our company's "reasonable rate". This is bullshit because: 1) The client is paying for it, and they give zero fucks whatsoever. This client will pay pants-shittingly absurd travel expenses, even without receipts. The reason the client gives zero fucks is because they are already paying double that nightly hotel rate for each hour for my time, at an 8-hour per day minimum. The reason they are paying so much for my time is because I was solving a problem for them that has been costing them upper five-figures a day, so this is just quibbling over pocket change. 2) It's not unreasonable for a hotel at all, especially for an airport location in a major city (the client office is right near the airport). 3) We have a preferred account with this hotel, and I got a way better deal than I would have gotten at any of the other hotels nearby. 4) This "reasonable" hotel rate is a mystery that was not communicated in any of the extensive policy documents or training sessions related to expenses that I was required to go through. 5) I had to book the hotel through our company's internal travel service, which means they knew the rate when they booked it, and could have said something at the time but didn't. 6) Apparently spending $15/day for a hot meal is also considered too extravagant. 7) Did I mention the client is happy to pay for 100% of it? 8) gently caress this company so hard. |
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Jan 17, 2023 01:55
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I refuse to cry at work. I'm not going to let them win. Besides, I stopped giving a gently caress so what's to cry about. |
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Jan 31, 2023 23:27
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I had a panic attack at work because I had to go up in a boom lift for the first time. It broke and I got stuck swaying over a rack of active steam pipes while the operator was on the phone with tech support. I'm actually still there. It's been six years. Please, send take-out. |
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Feb 1, 2023 04:24
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Wishing the best for you both. |
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Feb 2, 2023 05:26
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CEO: Some concerns have been raised about income disparity for women and minorities. I am pleased to announce that I have personally reviewed the salary of every person in the company and found no disparity. My brain: There's no income disparity in a company that's 90% white and 70% male? CEO: Yes My brain: And this was determined by you, a white male? CEO: Yes My brain: And may we see any statistics whatsoever in support of your assurance? CEO: No |
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Feb 5, 2023 04:06
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I asked someone in marketing if we have any stickers of our company logo, the kind of normal swag that companies give away at trade shows, because I thought it would look nice on a pelican case that I use for work sometimes. They didn't know, so they asked someone who asked someone, etc. Six asks later, no we don't have any stickers available, but I do have to put a barcode on the case to comply with an inventory tracking system that I didn't know existed. Despite the fact that I walk past our graphic design and printing department every day, it would be easier and faster to just order some from Vistaprint. For all I know they probably use Vistaprint too. |
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Feb 24, 2023 08:47
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and they said all those word problems in math class would never be useful... |
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Mar 1, 2023 23:26
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October: Annual bonuses are just around the corner! We're on track to match last year's bonuses! December: Bonus time is nearly here! January: Bonuses are going to be slightly delayed, but they're coming. February: Any day now, really. March: We overestimated how much would be available for bonuses. Here's a $50 gift card to the company store. Also from now on your annual pay raise will be your bonus. The good news is corporate profits are up! I wasn't actually expecting a bonus, but drat, I still feel hosed over. I'm not holding my breath that there will be pay raises next year either. |
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Mar 4, 2023 00:26
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Boss: I didn't read your report so I'll just presume what you wrote and critique it. |
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Mar 7, 2023 14:45
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 22:47 |
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Some days it's like my job is taunting me. Guy in the next cube had a phone conference about some lift jacks at a project site. I had to listen for an hour while they discussed jacking on Bush Island. Seriously. When can we start jacking? Will this be too much jacking? Is all this jacking slowing us down? No, we need to spread it all over Bush Island. I almost lost it when he mentioned a report, complaining that he had to go through it by hand. This was even worse than the dam inspector convention. |
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Mar 10, 2023 00:20
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