NFC North 2021: With the Packers choking in the playoffs the NFCN cycle completes

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFC North 2021: With the Packers choking in the playoffs the NFCN cycle completes

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Ok for real whos your team This poll is closed.
The Green Bay Packers	81	35.53%
The Chicago Bears	52	22.81%
The Minnesota Vikings	42	18.42%
The Detroit Lions	53	23.25%
Total:	228 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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Acebuckeye13 posted:

the menards joke was already done last season, ban thread, gas op

The saving never stops

# ¿ Aug 9, 2021 22:38

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# ¿ May 19, 2024 20:54

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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When I seeeeeee yooooooouuuuu smiiiiiiiiiiiiile
I can run the ball
Ohhhhh

# ¿ Aug 12, 2021 03:47

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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sweet thursday posted:

How Titties Got His Groove Back

thank you, I needed that

# ¿ Aug 12, 2021 03:50

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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TowerofOil posted:

Just found out that the vikings have a player on the roster named whop and uh that sure is a name.

It's pronounced "hoop"

I made that up

# ¿ Aug 15, 2021 07:02

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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BGrifter posted:

This is just crazy talk. It�s good to be excited for rookies, but claiming he�s on the level of a NVP winning QB after one preseason game is a bit much.

Nobody made Roblox out of Justin Fields.

I like how his linemen are just looking back at him, waiting

# ¿ Aug 16, 2021 17:51

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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Anyone have a clip of when McDermott had to call timeout due to the noise from the Blue Angels? Especially the part where he's talking to the ref and pointing at the sky.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2021 19:19

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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Why Your Team Sucks: 2021 Bears edition

quote:

Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2021 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Your team: Chicago Bears.

Your 2020 record: 8-8. This team started 5-1 (how). They even beat the Bucs, who would go on to win the Super Bowl. After that came an inevitable parade of blithering idiocy that Bears fans�delusional as they are�have become long accustomed to. They got beaten single-handedly by a punter. One of their scrub-rear end wideouts started whaling on a Saints player to defend the honor of his lucky mouthguard. They held the Titans to 228 total yards and still lost. They even had to score two garbage-time fourth-quarter TDs to make the final score of that loss look respectable. Their starting quarterback got benched and his replacement openly shat on the head coach to the Monday Night Football crew.

The Bears lost six in a row after that 5-1 start, cobbled together a three-game win streak against the most depressing teams in the league, backed into the playoffs after getting vaporized by Green Bay in Week 17, and then finished their season with a wild card loss in New Orleans that even the Saints don�t want to remember. A tidy encapsulation of what the Bears experience has been like under�

Your coach: Still Matt Nagy! With Ryan Pace still the GM! And Ted Phillips as the president! FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS!

quote:
�I was impressed with both of them this past season, especially during the six-game losing streak,� McCaskey said.

I�m loving dead. That is primo Bears poo poo right there. You people thought your suffering was over when you finally got Jay Cutler out of town. Little did you know.

So here we go again, ready to gently caress that chicken one more time. Every season it�s just Nagy standing there on the sidelines, alternating between having a nervous breakdown and a rage stroke, changing quarterbacks like they�re dead batteries, psyching out his own kicker, and calling knockoff Andy Reid bootlegs that have no shot of ever being successful. This man won Coach of the Year three years ago. Know who else won that honor once? Dick Jauron, coaching this team. It�s like winning a loving voodoo doll.

Meanwhile, Ryan Pace committed the most fireable offense in football by trading up for Mitch Trubisky, currently fetching water for Josh Allen in Buffalo. And instead of firing Pace, the Bears just let him commit the same felony AGAIN. And they hired Tom Herman. I work for the wrong company.

Do they have a Guy on the coaching staff? Three of them. In addition to Mike Furrey and Deshea Townsend�remember those Guys?�the Bears coaching staff also includes Henry Burris, who will forever be part of the Moses Moreno Wing Of Terrifying Bears Emergency Starting Quarterbacks at Halas Hall.

Your quarterback: Now this is where it gets funny.

How can you NOT trust the Matt Nagy plan, I ask you? Andy Dalton, whose career is very much over, was brought in by the Bears from Dallas to gingerly warm the seat for first-round pick Justin Fields. Fields was drafted to be the successor to (one last chance for me to butcher his name Chicago-style) Mitch Turbinsky. You know that the Bears traded up to draft the future Nickelodeon Most Valuable Player over both Patrick Mahomes and Deshaun Watson. You know that the Bears lied to Mahomes about having him at the top of their draft board, and that Mahomes made them pay dearly for it. You know how badly Pace hosed this up, and perhaps you view the drafting of Fields as a necessary correction to that fuckup.

But can anyone feel good about the fact that the exact infrastructure that failed Trubisky is now in charge of Fields�s career? Pace gave up a first in next year�s draft�which will have a talent pool three to four times deeper than the 2021 draft, and that�s not an exaggeration�to leapfrog the Vikings and get Fields. I�m a Vikings fan, so all I know all about best laid plans backfiring. But I share a division with two other teams that are equally adept at loving themselves with an opened umbrella. The Vikes, Bears, and Lions all cancel each other out. Fields looks good this preseason. It means NOTHING. They�ll ruin him. If you fear that Justin Fields will have the same career trajectory as Dwayne Haskins, there is absolutely no better team to make that a reality.

Russell Wilson wanted to play here (why) and they couldn�t pull it off.

What�s new that sucks: They�re leaving.

You gotta work REAL hard to have your poo poo ruined by Lori Lightfoot. Lori Lightfoot is a flat-brained penguin who spends every day busting her rear end to earn the title of Worst Mayor In America. And she succeeded Rahm, mind you. Meanwhile the Bears are like DOY UH WE�RE GONNA MOVE TO ROCKLAND BECAUSE YOU DON�T LOVE US ENOUGH DOY UH � giving Lightfoot the first, and only, open dunk she�ll ever throw down in her worthless career. If this team can�t beat Lori Lightfoot, exactly what shot do they have against Green Bay?

On the field, the Bears lost half their offensive line and half their secondary because Robert Quinn�s insane contract left no room for them to keep anyone. They signed Damien Williams away from the Chiefs to platoon with David Montgomery, because in the 21st century, this team will NEVER give its best running back a consistent workload. They also traded up a second time in April to draft lineman Teven Jenkins, who may not even play this season after back surgery. Jenkins�s emergency replacement is Jason Peters, who�s older than the K-T boundary and who gives himself NEW health problems whenever he�s bored.

Gale Sayers died. Brian Urlacher�s younger, fatter brother was pardoned by Trump.

What has always sucked: This management doesn�t give half a poo poo about winning and hasn�t for a very long time. Your odds of seeing Illinois win the Big Ten are better than seeing the McCaskey family lift a mummified finger out of the cobwebs to make this team worth a poo poo. Why would you care about winning when no amount of winning will get the fat humps who root for this team to buy more merch than they do for the �85 team?

The only reason the Bears don�t get lumped in routinely with the Browns and Lions of the league is because of that �85 Bears team, and that team was a loving fluke. That lone Super Bowl may as well be as distant as the Jets� lone title, and yet here are Bears fans, all total slobs, filing into Soldier Field in McMahon jerseys going I HOPE THE SOFT PRETZELS TODAY AAAARE FRESH! and still laboring under the delusion that an overcast day means they�ll suddenly have the No. 1 defense in football.

Bears fans are like a relative you see once every three years whose house is always the same whenever you visit. Plastic sofa coverings. Weathered board games. A bookshelf of nothing but twice-read James Patterson paperbacks purchased at O�Hare. Dust covering a bowl of plastic fruit. Odd smells. Food that�s bad for you and somehow not even worth it. Chicago PD is cooler than any of these pieces of poo poo. gently caress them all. And gently caress Big Cat with a kicking tee.

Akiem Hicks and Khalil Mack are your only good players and both of them will get hurt.

Ratto says: Is Andy Dalton an upgrade from Mitchell Trubisky? No. Why? Because it�s the Bears quarterback job. In this ever-swirling vortex of filth, nothing is ever an upgrade from the lousy thing before it. Ryan Pace and Matt Nagy still have jobs, mostly because all four of their names have the same number of letters. BEST NAME TO HEAR ON TV: Arlington Hambright.

What might not suck: Fields will be just good enough to make me eat these words twice a year.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2021 18:49

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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Jesper loving Horsted

# ¿ Aug 29, 2021 02:36

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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Nah bring back Gabe Carimi

# ¿ Aug 29, 2021 02:50

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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Gonz posted:

Mitch gets interviewed about the NVP trophy, Double Doink and Titty Kissin�.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otnQzsw8OpU

my QB

# ¿ Sep 1, 2021 20:57

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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# ¿ Sep 2, 2021 02:15

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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The Smuggest Cat posted:

Hello I would like to introduce myself as a Bears fan that lives in Wisconsin. I imagine you'll see me off and on again in the thread throughout the season. I hope the Bears aren't 8-8 this season.

They may end up 8-8-1!

# ¿ Sep 3, 2021 06:22

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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I didn't buy these the other night, and now I'm wondering if I should be regretting that:

# ¿ Sep 9, 2021 21:29

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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QB1

# ¿ Sep 11, 2021 21:22

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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Hot Diggity! posted:

It also looked like he got rid of BE YOU on his play sheet

It's still there, just in much smaller font size in the corner.

# ¿ Sep 13, 2021 22:27

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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Styles Bitchley posted:

Dalton, Fields, Foles

As usual the Bears have an embarrassment of riches at the quarterback position

The new Tinker to Evers to Chance

# ¿ Sep 14, 2021 00:54

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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Christ, when will Jenkins and Borom be ready? Jason Peters is not a solution.

# ¿ Sep 26, 2021 20:46

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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He's got that want-to attitude!

# ¿ Sep 26, 2021 21:43

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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I bet Dan Campbell could do better with the Bears than Nagy.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2021 07:08

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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R.D. Mangles posted:

doing one of those memes with a crying nagy yelling "no!!! you can't make me reveal who is calling the plays or playing quarterback or it will tip my hand" and then a serenely smiling dan campbell happily gnawing on knees.

Paging Febreeze!

# ¿ Oct 2, 2021 13:31

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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Not the GDT, but Nagy has the menu in hand. Is he back on playcalling?

# ¿ Oct 3, 2021 20:36

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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He must have thought they still had Jordan Howard

# ¿ Oct 15, 2021 04:04

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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fishing with the fam posted:

Oh man, I forgot about Jordan Howard. I was disappointed when the Bears traded him, but god drat they were right to do so. That dudes career has been nothing but decline.

Funnily enough I recently saw a column saying the Bears should snag him from his practice squad due to the RB injuries.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2021 15:36

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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Kevlar v2.0 posted:

The last time the Bears beat the Packers by more than a touchdown was in 2007. It was the last game of the season and the Packers were resting their starters.

I remember that game, Urlacher got a pick-six off Favre. After the TD, cut to commercial, and then back to the game with Urlacher on the bench with an oxygen mask. Final score 35-7.

It was windy as hell that day and when I went to work the next morning at my boss's house, two pieces of siding had blown off and landed in the backyard. One from his house and one from next door.

TITTIEKISSER69 fucked around with this message at 20:00 on Oct 15, 2021

# ¿ Oct 15, 2021 18:53

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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Thread background?

# ¿ Oct 29, 2021 04:35

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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Yes, after the Bears trade for him during halftime.

# ¿ Oct 31, 2021 14:22

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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Lions should get the 1st overall pick and trade it for Nick Foles :v:

# ¿ Oct 31, 2021 21:47

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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Not the GDT, but Trevor Siemian connects with Kevin White in New Orleans.

# ¿ Oct 31, 2021 23:08

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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Rodgers should be suspended for the remainder of the season.

# ¿ Nov 4, 2021 06:52

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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Second season in a row the Packers' chances are ruined by Rodgers not getting a shot

# ¿ Nov 5, 2021 20:10

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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"This is the only time I'll wear a mask!"
_________________/

# ¿ Nov 6, 2021 01:38

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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canqued posted:

Look at that face.

THIS IS THE FACE OF COVID

# ¿ Nov 6, 2021 03:13

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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Danny LaFever posted:

Dan Campbell doesn't want to go 0-17 and is asking Tomlin for a tie.

https://i.imgur.com/eLxdmx9.mp4

# ¿ Nov 14, 2021 23:39

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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He's becoming the golem

# ¿ Nov 18, 2021 17:38

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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So I was out yesterday and missed the Bears game. Did Teven Jenkins play at all? If so, how'd he look?

# ¿ Dec 6, 2021 17:27

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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WARM SEASON'S GREETINGS _TO YOU ^{ALL ^{FROM ^MENARD'S}}

# ¿ Dec 7, 2021 20:52

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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GNU Order posted:

Mods can we get a seasonal thread name change pls???

# ¿ Dec 9, 2021 04:52

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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https://youtu.be/4JzApYSx0Bk

# ¿ Dec 11, 2021 07:05

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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I'm a block away from a Crafty Beaver

# ¿ Dec 12, 2021 04:12

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# ¿ May 19, 2024 20:54

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
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Larry Borom placed on Reserve/COVID-19 list.

In other news:

# ¿ Dec 15, 2021 22:16

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFC North 2021: With the Packers choking in the playoffs the NFCN cycle completes

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