r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

# ¿ Oct 20, 2021 03:55

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 01:13

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Batterypowered7 posted:

Too bad the Goon that drew that was uh... troubled.

E:

I really liked all the ones that got made for that iteration of the thread. They were really good.

I think this is all of them? If there's another it's probably recoverable.

I don't know what the triggering incident was. I know Elsa drew his namesake naked, but I'm not sure what else (a) there was.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2021 05:59

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Pete:
Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [30 M] of 6 months - we broke up after I booked tickets to go on a trip with an ex from ancient history, who is more of a best-friend

quote:

Did I screw up?

So, I (f/25) have been seeing my boyfriend, Pete (m/30) for 6 months and its been wonderful. I really thought I'd found "the one" with him, but after last night I feel my world has collapsed and am not sure I've made the right decisions or if I was right. My heart feels like its been pulled out of my chest and I can't sleep. I'd never felt like this about anyone before.

My good friend, who we'll call Dave, was my boyfriend from the age of 18 to 21, after which we broke up because we wanted different things in life. We stayed good friends though because we had a great friendship and had been through so much together. He lives in a different country at the moment but we still talk semi-regularly online and in Whatsapp. Pete knew that Dave was a friend of mine but didn't know he was an ex until about 2 weeks ago, when Dave asked me to visit him in Amsterdam while he's on a work trip (I live in the UK, he lives in Italy). I had already agreed and booked a ticket before I told Pete - they were on sale for a ridiculously low price on the dates that he would be there, so I jumped at the opportunity.

Pete seemed cool with it at first but after a few days asked me if there was any history between us. I was honest and told him there was. He didn't seem too bothered and eventually asked if I thought visiting an ex in another country was appropriate whilst in a relationship. I explained to him how Dave and my relationship wasn't like that and that we were strictly platonic. He didn't seem to really react, he just gave me a look that was...sarcastic, I suppose, would be the best way to describe it. I then told him that I wouldn't be controlled and hated men that thought they owned me and could tell me what to do. I told him I was free to see who I wanted and that I found his lack of trust in me upsetting, disrespectful and, perhaps, a sign of future abusiveness. I now realise that this may have been a bad thing to say. Again, he didn't really react so I thought that was the end of it.

Then, last night, he came around to my flat and broke up with me!

I asked him why and tried to get him to explain himself and he told me that my going away was to see "another man" a deal-breaker, that he'd been in this type of situation before and wasn't going to go through it again. I asked him if this was an ultimatum - I hate ultimatums, they are tools of abusers - and he said "No, its not an ultimatum. I've decided to break up with you. I have not presented you with any options. I just came to say goodbye."
Before I could say or do anything more, he kissed me on the forehead, said goodbye and walked away. He didn't seem angry, just...sad.
I tried to call him after, but he just texted me some bullshit about how this was for the best and that he wished me no ill will and hopes I'll be happy. He turned his phone off after whilst I bombarded him with texts and voicemails.

To make matters worse, I told Dave about what happened and he replied "Oh well, guess that means we can have even more fun then! ;o)" He didn't care about my relationship and my pain - he just wanted a hookup buddy and someone to get stoned with whilst he was in Amsterdam.
Now I've lost someone I love and my best friend - who I was only interested in as friends - has a different motive to me for meeting up. I feel like I've lost my partner and I've lost a best friend at the same time.

I tried calling Pete today, about an hour ago, and he actually answered! He told me that I should look to be with someone who wasn't so abusive. He said, "Please stop calling me - this is over. Have a nice trip to Amsterdam" Then he BLOCKED me! How could he do that to someone he loves? Is he over reacting or was I? What should I do now? Was I wrong?

tl;dr:
Booked tickets to visit best friend. Got dumped because he was an ex. Did I just dodge a huge bullet...or did he?
EDIT: OK I KNOW I hosed UP. What should I do?

Dogcape/Dogcloak barbarian

I [16F] feel like my "cousin" [16-17M] is ruining my life, how can I make my Mom understand?

quote:

I live with my Mom [40], my sisters [14/12], my Aunt [30's] and her daugter [6] who are not actually related to me. My Mom and her moved in together after my father was out of the picture, after my sisters were born. We've all lived together since I was 4, we're a happy and healthy family.

I should say I'm pretty shy and suffer from anxiety.

Here's what I've pieced together: My Aunt got pregnant when she was 17 to a man from Australia that she had just met. They decided to stay together, it didn't work out and a year later she let him take the baby to Australia. She said she spoke to the father on the phone maybe half a dozen times since then, and the boy only once when he was a child.

Last year my Aunt starts getting calls from police-type people about her son, looking for birth records. The father had died and no one wanted to take him, so the Australian child protection had gotten involved and discovered he was a US citizen and had no visa or anything and were trying to figure out what to do with him. My Aunt organized to take him, and some months later we were driving out meet his plane.

My Mom and Aunt had sat as down and explained this to us, that he'd be coming to live with us permenantly, all my Aunt knew about him was his father said he was 'gifted' and 'quiet'. From that I was expected a little nerdy kid my age, I was actually excited to meet him, I thought we could be best friends! When we finally met him, I almost had a panic attack.
He's got to be at least 6'5" and he's brawny as hell, like a muscle guy. He's huge compared to any of us. I remember thinking "I don't know this person, and he could hurt me easily", he's not a boy, he's a man.

Literally the only question he had asked my Aunt when they talked on the phone about him coming was if he could bring his dog. She said of course he could. Turns out his dog is a giant German Shepherd thing. But it's bigger than any German Shepherd I've ever seen and is fluffy like a husky or wolf or something. It's as imposing as he is.

He didn't say more than 3 words the entire way home from the airport. He regularly cuts people off with things like "I don't need your life story" or by just walking out of the room while you're trying to talk to him. He wears headphones all the time and pretends he can't hear you.

He moved into the basement. My sisters and our friends had set the basement up as our space for hanging out and playing games and watching anime, we used it every day, but it's pretty large and my Mom had said we would probably be able to keep using it like that even after he moved in. There's nothing technically stopping us from still using it except for the stranger and his giant wolf sitting in the corner making us uncomfortable.

Speaking of his dog he's weird with it. It follows him everywhere, he carries it around on his shoulders (This is the worst. Ever have a man twice your size wearing a dog as big as you as a hat loom over you while you're trying to eat breakfast?), it sleeps in his bed under the covers, and I swear he takes it into the bath with him to wash it. All this might be adorable if it wasn't a giant beast. My Aunt says it was a support animal in Australia but I don't know if I believe he actually needs one.

One night not long after he came my Aunt said he was sometimes too much like his father, and he exploded at her, saying things like it's too late to complain about that now and she should have thought of that before. It was the most he'd said at one time since he'd moved in. She burst into tears and he just walked out of the house. Super rude when she's taken him in, and it was really scary to hear him start yelling out of nowhere.

They put him in our school, he started junior year with me. He started skipping classes on the second day, one morning he wasn't dressed, and my Aunt told he was going to be late for school, and he said he decided not to go that day and went back downstairs.

He leaves the house whenever he wants, never says where he's going. He goes out in the middle of the night. Doesn't even sneak out, just walks out the front door.

He drinks. Like actually drinks. He bought beer and put it in the fridge. He will drink beer with dinner and sometimes lunch.

He watches actual horse races at night on the tv and makes wagers over the phone, and plays cards on his laptop and I'm pretty sure its for real money.

He buys expensive things buy won't talk about where he gets the money from. My Aunt was worried he was selling drugs when he first moved in.

Not long after he moved in, everyone was on edge and my Mom told my Aunt she needed to get him under control, and my Aunt said she didn't know how. How do you discipline someone bigger than you who pretends he can't hear you speak.
They were talking about if and how they could make him leave, and I was so relieved. Then all of a sudden they decided he wasn't so bad:
He started spending time with my cousin, his half sister. Like a lot of time, he looks after her more than my Aunt does. His dog now follows her around the house when he's not home. He literally talks to her more than he talks to all of us combined, and she loves him. My Aunt adores him for this and when he started doing it she cried tears of joy and is now adamant that she won't kick him out.

My Mom lays dow the law and says he has to go to school. I don't know the details but instead he had my Aunt sign some forms and organized to take a test and got an acceptance letter to my first choice college in the city (That I'm worried I won't even be able to get into at all). He's going to start this coming Fall. I don't even know how it's possible and he acts like it was the easiest thing in the world. My Mom and Aunt now think he's a genius and chalk his weirdness up to being a savant or something. I thought at least he'd be moving into the dorms when the semster started, but nope he's not allowed and has to live at home.

Suddenly my Mom is judging my acedemic performance much harsher, and saying I need to work harder. She used to support my hobbies (My friends and I cosplay), now she comments about how much time I spend on it.

He started doing things around the house. First just chores and stuff, then he started fixing things. He painted the kitchen, and repaved the driveway with new concrete. My Mom started talking about how nice it is to have a man in the house, like it's all we've been missing for 12 years. Now she makes me feel like total trash if I forget to do a chore because there's this freak squatting in our basement who can somehow make a new driveway by himself?? I'm supposed to compete with that??

He offered to start paying rent. Still won't say where his money is from, we're now assuming it's gambling because it's all he does.

He was invited to Thanksgiving, and sat with the adults. My Grandfather and Uncle loved him and made plans with him. I felt so stupid being the oldest at the kids table.

He got everyone expensive gifts for Christmas. He got me a Macbook. I mentioned to my Mom how it was weird how he could afford it and she called me ungrateful, and told me to go thank him. (I said thank you but he wouldn't take his headphones off and just ignored me)

I feel like he hates all of us except my niece. My Mom just says he needs some time to adjust and how he's never lived with anyone but his Dad and he must be mourning still and we have to be supportive. But it's been months and he's still like a stranger.

After this my Mom overheard me joke to a friend that we couldn't use the basement because it was flooded with sad boy tears, and she went ballistic on me. I tried to explain that I'm having trouble coping with him and she just called me a brat.
So my Mom and my Aunt now love him now, even though he is still the same scary creep they wanted to kick out a few months ago. It's like living with a wild animal. I've tried to tell my Mom how uncomfortable he makes me and how I don't like how much he's changed our life and she says I'm selfish.

I feel like my Mom doesn't care about my feelings at all, or how I'm coping, and I hate that I'm being compared against him, even though he gets a pass on all the things he does, ranging from rude to illegal.

How can I make my Mom understand? And ideally get him out of my house?

tl;dr "cousin's" (not really related) dad died, came and lived with us, everyone hated him and was going to kick him out, now they all love him and are treating me differently, causing me anxiety but my Mom says I'm being selfish.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2021 06:24

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

My [22F] boyfriend [23M] hates my clothes.

quote:

Together for 3 years. So when I first met my boyfriend, I wasn't really into fashion and I generally just wore jeans, T-shirts, sweaters (not that they looked bad, but they weren't really "me.") I started reading the FFA sub (used throwaway bc he knows my real username) several years ago and got way more into fashion.

Now this means that physically, I look really different than I did when I met my bf. My hair used to natural and collarbone length, now it's very short (pixie I guess)? My body doesn't look any different but I definitely dress it differently. I like to wear colorful bow-ties with suspenders (I call it "Six Flag Old Man style" haha) and I also have a fuzzy bucket hat that I sometimes pair with it. Generally if something is deliberately "unflattering" and stands out, I want to wear it. I know it looks weird, that's the point, but it's me and it's what I feel good in. My style is basically over-the-top colorful little old British man haha...i wear lots boxy menswear in vibrant colors with deliberately weird hats and accessories and Dad sneakers.

Anyway, my bf doesn't say anything about my clothes unless I ask him, but recently when we were going on a date night I wore this outfit that was like a vintage 90s print vest, bright trousers, and button down shirt with Dad sneakers (I posted a pic on another sub where I asked this question but I can't link here). I asked him what he thought of the outfit. And he said "Honestly, I'm not really a fan of it."

Now, I know I asked him, but if he loves me, how can he "not be a fan" of something that makes me happy? I probed a little deeper and asked him how he felt about my other clothes and he admitted that he loved me regardless of how I dressed/looked, but he preferred my hair longer and preferred my old way of dressing.

Obviously we didn't go to dinner that night. He still wanted to, but I just wanted to sit in bed. I didn't even want to look at him.

Now obviously he's allowed to have preferences- but I'm not a stranger, I'm his girlfriend. It feels borderline controlling to tell me he's "not a fan" of my style. Because what am I supposed to do? I'm obviously going to keep dressing this way so I have to think about in the back of my mind that he doesn't like it. awesome.

I don't even want to look at him now. He should have just told me he liked it. And more than that, he should have actually liked it because if he likes me, he should like anything that makes me happy.

I told my mom about the situation and she says that she agrees with him, she also isn't a fan of my style, that I can still dress this way if I want but that I can't expect everyone to like it. And that's fine, my mom doesn't have to like it. But a SO should definitely like it, or at least pretend to.

Am I overreacting?

TLDR: Boyfriend being controlling about my clothes, not sure if I am overreacting

# ¿ Oct 20, 2021 06:27

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

I have yet to re-find the one with the woman who was cheating on her fiance up to the week of the wedding because she believed that none of that mattered once they were married and he wasn't allowed to hold it against her. And that it was her mom who taught her that.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2021 07:54

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

She claims to be aromantic/asexual, and that she could never see him that way, if that's any help.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2021 08:29

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

MagusofStars posted:

It's a long one and all the updates are long too, but here you go.

Me [25 M] with my wife [23F], she informs me at sisters wedding she had slept with best man (long)

Update 1: Me [25 M] with my wife [23F], she informs me at sisters wedding she had slept with best man (long)

Update 2:Me [25 M] with my wife [23F], she informs me at sisters wedding she had slept with best man (long)

Update 3:Me [25 M] with my wife [23F], she informs me at sisters wedding she had slept with best man (long)

Thank you so much! I will preserve it in my document of stories I want to reread every now and then.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2021 10:55

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

thotsky posted:

Why do people seem to think that another person being unreasonable means they get a free pass to do whatever? She sounds pretty wacky, but her crazy plans were completely theoretical when he decided to gently caress with her poo poo. He is the rear end in a top hat.

The letters F are right there.

# ¿ Oct 24, 2021 02:39

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Mx. posted:

AITA for accommodating only one of my daughters?

I'm not saying she isn't a bad mom, but parenting the younger one is probably incredibly hard, so I sympathize with her.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2021 06:57

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Batterypowered7 posted:

Every time someone mentions Kevin Smith I can't help but remember his tweet about how his wife's "brown" still "p0wns his dick".

If it helps, his wife wrote that tweet.

# ¿ Oct 26, 2021 01:35

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Halloween Jack posted:

Yes, she is, she just realized it and it's why she wants to break up

# ¿ Oct 27, 2021 04:58

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for giving my sister-in-law baby formula?

Listen you, it is super important that breastfeeding happens, even if mom and baby can't do it, it's all that matters!

This poor SIL.

A lady I nannied for could not get her second child to latch on; turns out he was tongue-tied, and a snip later, and he was fine. But formula was always an option, and any rear end in a top hat who whines about it, especially if they aren't gonna feed the kid, needs to GTFO.

I was raised entirely on formula because mom preferred it, and I turned out completely fi...hmm.

# ¿ Oct 27, 2021 05:06

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

teen witch posted:

I’m still wildly baffled at the whole situation. Like I’ll be watching tv and the term “plinking” and “nepotism” float through my head

What story is this referencing? Halp

# ¿ Oct 28, 2021 19:54

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for invoicing my friend for 121 bucks after she pestered me for 17?

Sounds like she might just have an anxiety about this. I hope she gets help.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2021 06:31

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

teen witch posted:

AITA for agreeing with my daughter that I didnt like her name?

please god be fake. Please tell me there is not a person like this in the world

It's no Pnurtis. I do wonder where the other kid picked it up. I'm guessing one of their parents said it to the other.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2021 10:24

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

r/relationships: In retrospect I wish I kept the ice cream.

# ¿ Oct 31, 2021 09:14

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

I love 'How do you always catch me?'

# ¿ Nov 3, 2021 06:41

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Mx. posted:

every time my cat changes his behaviour too much i take him to the vet

and they tell me "it's ok he's just very stupid"

Now I want a very stupid cat. Like she just spends hours with her face pressed against a wall for no discernable reason.

Please provide actual Stupid Cat behaviors, thank you.

# ¿ Nov 3, 2021 18:35

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Happitoo posted:

Here you go. https://www.gentlemandoorautomation.com/store/p106/batman.html . Batcave not included.

Reminds me of the one where a guy got a once in a lifetime cash windfall and spent the whole thing on a secret passage, completely alienating his wife/fiance.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2021 21:55

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for refusing to go to my Brothers wedding if my Girlfriend cannot come?

But I brought you here for the edit:

meanwhile i've invited my potential SIL to come visit for a bit if she needs to get away from him and get her head together.

I want the most hilarious thing to happen.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2021 23:10

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Pomme de Terror posted:

AITA for reverse trick or treating with my wife?

You moved to a lame neighborhood of lame-os.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2021 23:11

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

I seem to remember that as part of their Republican mandated cost cutting, houses were no longer getting individual boxes and it would all be big metal blocks going forward.

# ¿ Nov 6, 2021 00:23

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Husband’s (32M) family keeps telling me (27F) to wait to get pregnant so that my sister-in-law (34F) can “go first” but she isn’t medically able to have kids for a few more years...

quote:

Alright so long story short my SIL had cancer (she is clear now! Yay!) and has to take some medications for a few years, and is not allowed to get pregnant during that time. Had she not gotten cancer, she definitely would have kids already but unfortunately things didn’t go as planned.

My husband and I have been married for a little while and have been eagerly waiting for a point in time that we can start our family! We don’t comment on this around the family or my SIL, especially due to that situation. But even though we don’t bring it up, the other siblings (there are 5 of them) and my MIL seem to think that I need to wait to have children until after my SIL has.

My concern with this is that currently nobody knows how many years she will have to wait... am I meant to just keep waiting? Likely she will have to undergo IVF, what if it takes longer than expected? What if I get pregnant unintentionally?

I’m sure that she’s been looking forward to surprising her parents and announcing their first grandchild, etc. but it feels really extreme to me that I’m being asked to put my life on hold for an undetermined amount of time for something that doesn’t affect me. It’s not that I’m going to maliciously or intentionally get pregnant just to “beat her to it” but if the time is right for my husband and I then I’d like to feel that I have the power and support to start a family.

I absolutely sympathize with her situation and I completely understand that the thought of having her dreams shifted might be difficult... but how am I supposed to handle these comments from the family? Should I actually be waiting (for potentially several years) until she’s had kids to get pregnant?

# ¿ Nov 7, 2021 21:39

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

The whole concept of 'turns' where the oldest is first is baffling to me.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2021 22:07

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

# ¿ Nov 8, 2021 19:06

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

It must be really nice to be as laid-back and/or spineless as some of these people.

There's nothing to be done. That's life.

...and I just realized that's my mom. So meek she wouldn't raise her hand when it was time to inherit the earth.

# ¿ Nov 9, 2021 12:25

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Invisible Clergy posted:

What are peoples' guesses about the fetish in question? It's something he thinks doesn't clock as sexual, is somewhat obscure, and a picture of someone doing it looks innocuous. My guess is his friend's gf was smoking a cigarette.

Too normal. I'm guessing it's something like clownification.

# ¿ Nov 10, 2021 08:32

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

keep punching joe posted:

She should take the initiative and ghost him first.

# ¿ Nov 10, 2021 12:24

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

HazCat posted:

He slips towards the end and says that the original unaltered image also fit his kink ("the original IG picture was not sexy for the general public and only hits for people with my kink").

My guess is amputee fetish, and she was in a pose that hid an arm or leg from the camera. And the 'transformative' art is basically just a bad trace job, because people who pay for kink art often have tragically low standards.

I'm not dying on the hill of my specific guess, but I was using the idea that the face and hair were completely changed, which why would a tracer do that if it wasn't part of the kink?

If the picture was already kinky, why have it altered at all?

The whole post might just be bait to trigger conversations like this.

# ¿ Nov 10, 2021 12:31

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

SidneyIsTheKiller posted:

He's getting his affairs in order.

No way could I let this pass without notice.

# ¿ Nov 11, 2021 07:30

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Alcohol doesn't expire, and you can always get like canned food that's shelf stable for years.

You can get some nice steaks.

Cleaning products last forever.

There's more and it's bugging me that I can't think of it.

Edit: Honey is good forever too, as long as it doesn't get wet.

Beachcomber fucked around with this message at 10:00 on Nov 11, 2021

# ¿ Nov 11, 2021 09:57

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Most of those are garbage, though.

# ¿ Nov 11, 2021 10:14

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Mx. posted:

AITA for telling my soon-to-be MIL that my engagement ring is cursed?

that's just good clean fun

She certainly was hysterical.

Edit: WTF was she doing with it?

# ¿ Nov 11, 2021 10:20

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Sometimes I wish I was the sort of person who knew where to acquire different hallucinogens instead of the kind of person who didn't drink until they were well out of college.

# ¿ Nov 12, 2021 07:19