r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

She's pulling some "Look, her NICKNAME is basically still her name, so she shouldn't care if I call her by her name. Also I HATE HER NICKNAME."

Somehow she is not exploding of irony

# ¿ Oct 21, 2021 02:06

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 16:45

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Woodchip posted:

My (25M) mom wants my wife (25F) to use my last name for her PhD

Change your last name to your wife's.

# ¿ Oct 21, 2021 22:57

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Invisible Clergy posted:

Karen and her husband are being unreasonable. You have to clear a very high bar of obnoxiousness for a medical professional (especially a dentist) to fire you as a patient.

Yes, you do need some time to acclimate to them for some time and they're never gonna be as good as your birth teeth or implants. Think of it like a glass eye or prosthetic limb. You take time to adapt fully and even once you get there, it's impossible for it to be exactly the same.

OP and her husband are refusing to accept this which the dentist has 100% explained and demand impossible perfection.

If fixing it were possible, the dentist would do it because it'd mean more money and a satisfied patient.

Unscrupulous dentists (who definitely exist) don't really tend to lie about offering refunds; they mostly tell you you have problems that don't exist and then charge you for fixing them, like evil mechanics.

Yeah, but the part where they won't mount correctly sounds like a genuine problem. If they have the kind that snap in and they WON'T SNAP, that's unwearable. If he gags every 30 seconds, something needs adjusting or he'll never be able to get used to them.

Also if it's the kind that snap in between existing teeth, that still is a genuine problem if they won't do that.

Midnight Voyager fucked around with this message at 22:06 on Oct 22, 2021

# ¿ Oct 22, 2021 21:51

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

pentyne posted:

All the fanfiction in the thread about that story and no one even considers that he might just tell the son "well, we just drifted apart, and once you turned 18 I decided you were old enough that when we split it wouldn't be traumatic"

You know he doesn't have to tell the son how many dicks his mom was taking, right?

The mother's super distraught, you don't think she'll let slip how this has come out of nowhere for her? If he's gonna lie about it, he's leaving way too much room for someone to point out the holes in his story.

It's just nuts to me how he was starting to go back to normal relationship things, including sex with his wife, if this was his plan. That's so gross, letting a woman think you're in an arrangement that you are absolutely not and having sex with her as a result. Was THAT "for his kid?"

# ¿ Oct 24, 2021 20:40

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Facebook Aunt posted:

I wish I'd had "lets play happy families for 16 years" dad instead of the dad I had. My parents broke up when I was 2, and my dad was a deadbeat who contributed nothing and I saw all of 3 or 4 times in the following 16 years.

Doesn't excuse the retroactive consent problems in the guy's relationship with his wife. That's gross.

# ¿ Oct 24, 2021 20:47

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

Do you think the time length is what breaks consent? Because plenty of people stay in relationships they're checked out of for days/weeks/months/years and still have sex with their partners until they leave, often without discussing their dissatisfaction.

It's a genuine question because I have a really strict definition of consent and I'm totally willing to go with you and call this non-consensual, but my experience is that very few people view consent that strictly even people who advocate for enthusiastic informed consent. For example, cheaters inherently break consent in this context, but outside of some edge cases no one is going around calling cheaters rapists.

I think the time and how set he apparently was on leaving despite pretending things were fine are what disgust me. It's the level of deception involved, and that just gets higher and higher with time. If someone's checked out or dissatisfied, they can still hope to fix things. There's plenty of grey area there. But this guy decided nearly two decades ago that he was going to leave his wife the second his kid hit college age, had to work on cranking down his revulsion for her for a year, and eventually I guess decided... hey, may as well bang while she's here, right?

I just don't know how someone could get to a point in that situation where she thinks they've gotten over it and he starts having sex with her without it feeling really nefarious. All he had to do was keep his dick in his pants and set/maintain relationship boundaries and it would be like any other "we stayed together for the kids with the agreement that we were done then they were 18" story.

Also re: cheaters... Yeah, but people know cheating is wrong and are appropriately put off by it in this story. It just felt like it needed emphasizing that there's also issues in this situation too. She sucks for cheating, not really much to say about it that hasn't been said. I don't suppose I'd straight up call cheating rape, but there are definitely consent issues there like there are on the guy's side in this story.

Anyway. Content!

AITA for telling my dad that I'm not his replacememt wife?

quote:

My (f16) mom passed away recently. my brother (m14) and dad are so devastated by this tragic loss and we are struggling.

I've basically found myself handling all chores and work around the house - my brother is too traumatized he hasn't been talking since the funeral and my dad hasn't been lifting a finger and do a single thing. He started making requests from cleaning the messy living room (he sleeps on the couch) to picking up dirty laundry to doing dishes, cooking or ordering food, walking the dogs, vacumming, doing repairs, mowing the lawn, washing the car since my brother stopped doing it. I'm too exhausted often times. Mom used to do the chores and I used to help but I have school and after school committements and my dad keeps negatively commenting on how I get things done and compare me to mom like how much time I take to make breakfast etc.

Yesterday he woke me up at 6am even though he told me to skip school and wanted me to make breakfast. I scrambled eggs and prepared other dishes then went to wake my brother up. I set the table and once dad sit down he looks at the scrambled eggs and goes "what is this? This is not the right way to make scrambled eggs. Your mother used to make perfect scrambled eggs. Did you not learn anything from her at all? How are we supposed to survive if you can't even properly make scrambled eggs?" He looks at my brother and says "we're doomed". I snap and loudly tell him I'm not his replacement wife to expect me to do this and that for him. He looks at me stunned and my brother rushes out immediately. Dad starts telling me how cruel and insensitive what I just said and how out of line I was. I reply that I was too tired to make 'the perfect scrambled eggs" my mom used to make and that maybe if he as a parent had tried to learn we wouldn't be suffering right now. He gets up throws the towel and walks out.

My aunt came to visit and when I told her she went off saying I should have never said that to my grieving dad and that I should be ashamed of myself for talking to him like that.

AITA?

# ¿ Oct 24, 2021 22:06

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Facebook Aunt posted:

Come on, we have no idea what the alternative would turn out to be.

# ¿ Oct 24, 2021 22:12

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Facebook Aunt posted:

I suppose a little boy is less likely to get raped by mom's boyfriend than a girl

Uhhh

# ¿ Oct 24, 2021 22:37

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Alchenar posted:

The update suggested vaginismus.

Or that she's been told forever that it will hurt as one of the ways they try to scare kids from having sex... and so trying to start it DOES because she's clamping up tighter than a bear trap.

I don't know how religious abstinence people expect people to go from "Sex is the devil and will stain you for life and it's a horrible thing you should be ashamed of and it will hurt and lessen your self-worth" to "I am married, a switch is flipped, I will gently caress my husband every time he wants because that will prevent him from sin!" Nothing works that way in the human brain.

# ¿ Oct 26, 2021 23:41

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Propaniac posted:

AITA for requesting my best friend be at the birth of my child instead of my husband?

lol they think the outcry on Reddit is "bias against male/female friendships" and not just that they're bonkers

# ¿ Oct 29, 2021 04:24

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Dazerbeams posted:

If most of the night was romantic and clearly showed that effort had been put in, a bit of light humor at the end isn't anything to get upset over.

The night hadn't happened yet. He got the cake days in advance. She peeked.

Also "I didn't know how she'd take it" + thinking she was "used" to his humor... You know, generally jokes are to make the other person laugh, not to snicker alone in your corner. If you're going to get a gift for someone, make sure it's THEIR sense of humor not yours.

Obviously she overreacted, but it was a dumb plan.

Midnight Voyager fucked around with this message at 03:00 on Oct 30, 2021

# ¿ Oct 30, 2021 02:57

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

quote:

Jesus, if y'all look at this dude's post history, it's just him being an emotionally abusive dude to his partner. And the weirdness around him deleting all of his posts when he doesn't get the consensus that he wants.

This guy seems like a real fun person.

MagusofStars posted:

I don�t understand why just adding up all the gas and dividing by 2 isn�t equal. If you have a common denominator of �dividing by two�, it doesn�t matter.

20/2 + 20/2 + 20/2 + 20/2 + 20/2 = 10+10+10+10+10 = $50
By comparison, if you add up all the receipts first to get to $100, then divide by 2, you get�100/2 =$50.

Does he explain his method any better in the comments or did this brilliant engineer just fail middle school math?

quote:

We did keep the receipts. The problem was she needed to reimburse me for the remaining gas left in the tank since it�s gas that I paid for that she�ll be using to drive to and from work etc. This is why her method doesn�t work�because there�s no reliable way of determining what the remaining gas is worth.

pffft SHE DRIVES HIM AROUND BECAUSE HE HAS NO CAR and he doesn't pitch in for gas "especially if he's paying for dinner"

Midnight Voyager fucked around with this message at 22:06 on Oct 30, 2021

# ¿ Oct 30, 2021 22:03

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Cowslips Warren posted:

Less water more blood.

AITA For excluding my husband from my brother's funeral after he called me with the news and told me to guess?

When my friend and previous professor died this past April, another student-friend texted me and said she had to talk to me. It took a while to get her to answer, and when I hear her crying, I asked her straight out, was it about her family, or the professor's family? We were all friends post class, she met her husband because of him, I nannied for him for about six years. She said the latter. I listed off the family members until I said his name, and when she started crying again, I knew.

No one ever texts you news like that unless they literally can't talk about it.

I feel like there's a different vibe from your thing and from literally saying "guess who".

# ¿ Oct 31, 2021 00:54

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

NO gently caress YOU DAD posted:

They're trying to radicalize sexless dorks against women and minorities. Why see women as people when your relationship can only last as long as it takes for your partner to encounter one of Obama's breakdancing bodyguards from that famous SA post?

"Black men are stealing our women" is a scare tale as old as time.

# ¿ Oct 31, 2021 19:35

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

The Lovecraft story was a dead guy keeping his room very cold so he wouldn't rot.

# ¿ Oct 31, 2021 19:43

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for Banning My Son From Trick or Treating for Framing our Dog?

Yeah no, kid-shitter stays the gently caress home.

man, I hope he wasn't punishing the dog for each one. That dog must be confused as hell

# ¿ Nov 1, 2021 00:26

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for admitting that I wish my son wasn't disabled?

What the gently caress, she thought DEAFNESS would make her son not able to function on his own for life? Why the gently caress was that the immediate assumption? It's not like a severe mental impairment, it's not being able to hear!

I get the feeling this lady's one of those people who treats deaf people like idiots or children.

# ¿ Nov 2, 2021 20:29

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

datajugend posted:

So the cousin that couldnt afford 1500 to save the House should get it, his family wants to give the bank a free House.

No, they'll later demand that this guy pay for it too. That's how this type of shitter rolls.

# ¿ Nov 2, 2021 20:43

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for telling my SIL I'm glad she's infertile because she'd be a terrible mother?

"How dare you spend money on your pets when you should be spending it on my children instead!" The entitlement is astounding.

She would NOT STOP ARGUING about it in the comments about how they should be setting aside money for HER KIDS just in case.

# ¿ Nov 2, 2021 23:08

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Hellblazer187 posted:

I don't know what a tooth bridge is but why would anyone try to pull one out of someone's mouth? This guy is just a walking red flag. Get out asap.

Fake teeth that "bridge" a gap. The teeth on the end are probably implants, but the ones between them aren't. Implanting several teeth is just very very very expensive, and a bridge is cheaper.

(By trying to pull it out, he might have thought it was a temporary bridge that you can slip out, or he might have thought it was a partial. Either way, hosed.)

Midnight Voyager fucked around with this message at 21:55 on Nov 3, 2021

# ¿ Nov 3, 2021 21:50

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Mr. Grapes! posted:

Wow, wait til her daughter finds out about the internet.

I am a teacher, and I talk to kids without their parents around, and I know for a fact that most of them have seen some absolutely depraved poo poo. Squid Game is pretty popular among elementary school kids, for example.

Their stupider parents might be good at fooling themselves into thinking they can censor this stuff at home for their own peace of mind. That's because they are stupid. The only real way to prevent your kid from seeing anything objectionable is working hard on making sure they are a loser with no friends. Many of them put a lot of effort into making their child an isolated depressive. To them, it is far better for their child to be a friendless shut-in than a kid who accidentally saw a titty.

They all seem to forget what it was like when the teacher let kids use dictionaries in grade school. About half of them immediately gravitate towards looking up dirty words. They do this on the internet too, despite what they'd like to believe about their little innocent angels.

I was a loser with no friends and the existence of the internet meant I saw some EXTREMELY objectionable poo poo. It's pretty easy!

# ¿ Nov 4, 2021 07:42

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Brawnfire posted:

My mom loved to disconnect the router and hide the key to the cabinet it was in

I loved to find it in seconds like the worst-designed game of Riven

My parents would unplug the router and then replug it when my grounding was over. But I knew they'd never remember to plug it back in, so I'd do it myself immediately and they'd just never notice that I had done so. Unmedicated ADHD dad had SOME uses.

# ¿ Nov 4, 2021 22:37

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

kntfkr posted:

This is what I'm aiming for. Going to try to get them into surfing and climbing while they're little until they express an interest in team sports or music and hope that sticks. If we move to China, I reckon it'll be a non issue. WeChat's not as bad.

I think the cons of social media far outweigh the positive. Destroys relationships, the inequality on full blast that you're supposed to embrace, enabling of harassment, the direct increase on young suicides. And it's a total time sink. I mean so is SA but at least we have fun.

WeChat just reminds me of that John Oliver special that showed that those culture-specific social media platforms are just as bad as far as insane misinformation, except in someplace like China, you also have fewer ways to do research to see if whatever you see on it has any validity. So people just believe the Facebook-style misinformation posts they get on it because they don't have anything to compare it to.

seriously, just teach your kid how to handle social media. It's like sex. Teach them how to handle it safely.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2021 23:18

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Malcolm Excellent posted:

Y'all need to start sipping on Beverley

My friend will never quite forgive me for suggesting this to him at the Coke museum. His face when he tried it was absolutely priceless.

# ¿ Nov 8, 2021 21:11

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for not letting my MIL babysit my daughter?

Lots of advice in the comments that she tell the husband they won't be having any more sex to avoid compromising the breast milk.

This logic is genuinely the most insane sex weird I've ever seen. You have to have sex to have a baby, you produce milk to feed the baby, how does that lead to "sex pollutes breast milk"?

# ¿ Nov 8, 2021 21:49

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Sex without the purpose of procreation is what's poisoning her breastmilk.

But she could be immediately trying for another baby, right???

# ¿ Nov 8, 2021 21:51

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

lol so her little brother turns into "another man" the second he hits 18.

# ¿ Nov 13, 2021 03:43

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

kimbo305 posted:

For that to happen, he'd have to aim lower than the butt. The thigh? The back of the knee? Doesn't compute.

What, you don't shove your rear end up and back before you sit down like one of those over-animated early comics where every motion was extra as hell?

# ¿ Nov 16, 2021 06:53

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Invisible Clergy posted:

I want this one to be real so badly. Do nothing and the problem will take care of itself in about a week and a half. If it doesn't, then OP's empty headed influencer friend was lying to get attention and steal money. No idea where OP is getting 2 years from.

A human surviving rabies from a vermin bite sans vaccination has been documented only one time in human history and it's totally wild. The doctor used experimental treatments at the time like putting the patient into a coma. It's a little tricky to find useful into on online, but s3e1 of that medical atrocity show "something's killing me" covers her case in a reasonable amount of detail if you want to learn more.

I mean, there's a possibility she doesn't have it. She's just hosed if she does.

also I've seen this goddamn exact situation play out, except they turned out to not have rabies and never even got a little worried about it, so it just kinda confirmed their lack of fear. See, it's nothing, nothing went wrong!

# ¿ Nov 17, 2021 10:17

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

cumshitter posted:

AITA for just leaving instead of accepting my "most annoying" award?

"Just let us publicly humiliate you, god!"

# ¿ Nov 17, 2021 23:06

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

limp_cheese posted:

Went from a graduating class of 400 to 40 between sophomore and junior year.. When they did the yearbook awards for senior year me and a girl won best smile. It was a small graduating class so they split the awards between men and women. I was actually quite happy about that and mentioned to a couple people that I didn't realize people liked my smile.

Turns out since it was such a small graduating class instead of giving multiple awards to a single person they made sure everyone was given an award. They weren't quite sure were to put me so why not Nice Smile?

I wish I could've stayed at the other high school.

man, how hard is it to go "Oh yeah, you have a really nice smile!"? It's an utterly harmless lie where the truth is pointless and would make someone sad.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

So it turns out the "most annoying" story really happened, just not to the Reddit poster.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/life...ire/1369033001/

Holy gently caress, not just a teacher, a special needs teacher?! jesus christ

# ¿ Nov 18, 2021 03:15

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Evil Willow posted:

Update-Got a paternity test and now my wife might divorce me over it

Yeah man, "all over a paternity test", it was clearly just that and not all of the things she very clearly said.

# ¿ Nov 18, 2021 03:48

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Thumbtacks posted:

I�m sure this was posted but I loving love this one line

AITA for getting a cashier in trouble because he didn't believe in february 29?

"It's your fault for WHEN YOU WERE BORN"

# ¿ Nov 18, 2021 04:56

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Don't offer kids things that you don't own on other people's behalf. You are the rear end in a top hat if you do this, not the person who doesn't wanna give up their stuff.

# ¿ Nov 18, 2021 07:37

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Thundercloud posted:

I can't see this update, please link so we can bathe in the obliviousness.

erm it's just the post I was replying to by Evil Willow. The text of the reply is in that post. Or am I missing something?

# ¿ Nov 18, 2021 21:01

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

There are a lot of lovely rear end in a top hat YTA/ESH in that post and I hope they all fall off a cliff.

# ¿ Nov 18, 2021 22:56

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

EIDE Van Hagar posted:

It�s not a moral judgment, it�s just that there is an age when most people start adding romantic relationships to their lives and it can be harder to catch up if you are late to get that experience. If you make it to your mid 20s you are starting to miss the boat, and you make it to 35 you are probably statistically unlikely to change that situation ever.

Anything can happen for an individual, people grow and learn and try new things at different paces, but on average there is a pretty clear timeline. People can wait longer for whatever reason they choose, but on average there is probably some obstacle if they do, and most people who have no obstacles just don�t wait that long.

I was originally responding to the poster who was implying it was more normal to be a 21 year old virgin than to have sex in your teens. In reality having sex for the first time as a teenager is pretty normal and if you are in your 20s you are solidly in the last decile.

For future reference, saying there's "something wrong" with someone for not loving as a teenager doesn't convey literally any of this. It conveys a moral judgement from which this feels like aggressive backpedaling.

# ¿ Nov 20, 2021 21:48

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

PancakeTransmission posted:

Yeah really, it's her fault for just sitting there waiting for him to make a move.

they clearly said that NEITHER of them is initiating and that they both needed to communicate, wtf. Is this thread just draining brainpower now?

# ¿ Nov 20, 2021 22:43

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Rescue Toaster posted:

I've literally never heard of a friend group pretending one of them is crazy except in the cases where that person happens to be schizophrenic.

I'm sure there's confirmation bias but this cannot possibly be that common.

I've heard it happen in cases of PTSD of all things, just like "Oh hey our friend has a mental illness, let's make them think it's acting up, lol!"

# ¿ Nov 21, 2021 00:19

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 16:45

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

quote:

I've been living here in Northern California for my whole life, and my husband is living here for 20 years or so. The homelesness problem is becoming so bad that so many people are scared to go outside during at night. We've visited UK multiple times, and UK isn't perfect, but it's so much better than the US. We've never felt unsafe during night in London or any other city in UK, but let's say in San Francisco you can't imagine the things we're seeing at night.

lol

Big HOA energy.

# ¿ Nov 21, 2021 02:02

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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