NFL Week 11 Aftermath - my Mac 10 fires automatic bullets

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Week 11 Aftermath - my Mac 10 fires automatic bullets

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Magicpants: Sep 15, 2011; Certified Poster

Magicpants posted:

quote this post when mac jones ends up being the best qb of the class

# ? Nov 19, 2021 04:59

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 16:12

really queer Christmas: Apr 22, 2014

Falcons lol

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:02

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Dullest stomp of the year?

Man Falcons, fix your offensive line, jesus christ.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:07

Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Falcons suck poo poo. News at 11.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:08

Phobeste: Apr 9, 2006; never, like, count out Touchdown Tom, man

Putting in your backup qb when you're getting shut out is some insane cowardice my god especially when it's going from matt ryan to josh rosen

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:10

Tim Whatley: Mar 28, 2010

https://twitter.com/PeteBlackburn/status/1461548705702633478?t=jSXBTt6JNBTygwEoFvBowg&s=19

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:16

Ches Neckbeard: Dec 3, 2005; You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!

The 9ers traded up to 3rd to draft a QB they don't plan on playing for another year instead of Mac Jones

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:18

No Butt Stuff: Jun 10, 2004

Such a loving boring game

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:19

LargeHadron: May 19, 2009; They say, "you mean it's just sounds?" thinking that for something to just be a sound is to be useless, whereas I love sounds just as they are, and I have no need for them to be anything more than what they are.

Real, non-rhetorical question: how many times has a team had an INT by three different QBs in a single game? I wouldn't even know where to begin looking for an answer.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:20

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

LargeHadron posted:

Real, non-rhetorical question: how many times has a team had an INT by three different QBs in a single game? I wouldn't even know where to begin looking for an answer.

Coincidentally:

https://twitter.com/billbarnwell/status/1461549830468247558

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:21

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

The Falcons need to be treated like some disgraced Egyptian Pharaoh where their memory is damned and all traces of their existence are destroyed

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:22

Tim Whatley: Mar 28, 2010

https://twitter.com/NFL_Scorigami/status/1461548590032162822?t=hQ7s4zBh4BuyyY2Zd8Ugmg&s=19

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:22

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Also

Full Name: Joshua Ballinger Lippincott Rosen

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:22

Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

The Falcons don't even have the courtesy to be an interesting team to watch lose like a real bad team. The Lions losses are like performance art. The Jets invent new ways to turn the ball over every week. The Falcons are just boring bad.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:23

Quiet Feet: Dec 14, 2009; THE HELL IS WITH THIS ASS!?

Kalli posted:

Also

Full Name: Joshua Ballinger Lippincott Rosen

Fuckin' Willy Wonka rear end name.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:23

That Which Squeaks: Aug 28, 2006; "Good. Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you."
-Bill Belichick

e; missed Kalli's, it's impressive how thoroughly the Falcons embody futility.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:24

Fate Accomplice: Nov 30, 2006

28 - 3 = 25 - 0

simple math

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:25

Nodoze: Aug 17, 2006; If it's only for a night I can live without you

Kalli posted:

Also

Full Name: Joshua Ballinger Lippincott Rosen

This seems fitting

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:25

No Butt Stuff: Jun 10, 2004

I take it back, 3 ints by 3 qbs in one quarter on the same team is magical.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:25

Kirios: Jan 26, 2010

Kalli posted:

Also

Full Name: Joshua Ballinger Lippincott Rosen

He never had a chance in the NFL.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:25

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Kirios posted:

He never had a chance in the NFL.

Maybe if he just told everyone to call him Josh Balls

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:27

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003

I wonder how many times two different QBs have thrown picks for the same team back to back

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:31

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

https://twitter.com/RealAlexBarth/status/1461552368651280384

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:33

Grittybeard: Mar 29, 2010; Bad, very bad!

I watched that entire game, I may require an intervention of some sort.

No Butt Stuff posted:

I take it back, 3 ints by 3 qbs in one quarter on the same team is magical.

I'm curious how often this has happened when none of the QBs had to leave the game due to injury.

That's a little unfair because Ryan was just replaced because the game was over. But Rosen got angry benched and Franks might have made them trot Ryan back out there if they'd have gotten the ball back.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:33

Magicpants: Sep 15, 2011; Certified Poster

Kalli posted:

https://twitter.com/RealAlexBarth/status/1461552368651280384

people think this guy isn't the funniest man in football

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:35

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

Ches Neckbeard posted:

The 9ers traded up to 3rd to draft a QB they don't plan on playing for another year instead of Mac Jones

Kyle Shanahan is suplexing the guy who talked him out of Mac Jones

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:37

Rod Hoofhearted: Jun 18, 2000; I am a ghost

Never forget the Matt Ryan Extended Universe

fartknocker posted:

Since I'll probably be asleep by then, here it is:

I know this is a couple pages old, but drat Matt Ryan looks like a pretty successful businessman who is rapidly closing in on 40. He competes in triathlons in his spare time and he has come to the realization that he never really loved his wife. He goes on long runs early on Saturday mornings, and the last several weeks he's been arriving at the river trail a few minutes later than normal so that he spends part of his run staring at the rear end of the 20-something grad-student who he has started to chat up. Maybe this weekend he'll invite her to get some coffee after their run. He's fantasizes about the impending divorce. He doesn't hate his wife; he plans on making sure that she is comfortable and well taken care of, and he'd prefer to not have a contentious split since he knows that would be harder on his daughter. He tells himself that he wants to make sure he is still a part of his daughter's life, but he hasn't really ever been that involved with her and deep down he knows their relationship will devolve into the odd phone call and birthday card. If he could pinpoint where it all started to go wrong it would probably be after his wife had her third miscarriage. He had always wanted a big family, but at that point it was just too much for her and they stopped trying. He thinks that if they had more kids they could have made it work, but he's still not quite 40 and it isn't too late to start over. He wonders if the grad-student wants a big family...

You guys can't tell me that when you look into that picture of Matt Ryan you don't see a man who grew up in the shadow of an older brother. Jerry was the better athlete, Jerry had all the girlfriends, Jerry was the charmer who could roll around in pig poo poo, flash that million dollar smile, and come out smelling like roses. That�s not to say Matt wasn�t a decent athlete or didn�t have any girlfriends, but Jerry was the star player on the high school football team (although �star� is a relative term on a team that won 6 games in 2 years) and Jerry�s wife (then girlfriend) was the prom queen, and how exactly was Matt supposed to compete with that? Matt would say he had the last laugh now that Jerry is a balding, over-weight claims adjuster living in Overland Park Kansas, but Jerry and Cynthia found Jesus and have five kids and Matt is preparing to divorce his wife whom he hasn�t seen naked in over a year so it�s difficult to feel superior. Matt stopped being bitter at Jerry a long time ago anyways. Once they grew up and stopped competing with each other at everything Matt realized that his brother is just like everyone else, trying to do his best and get by day to day. Matt sometimes lies awake at night wondering if his financial success, which he considers moderate but which any sane person would consider substantial, has really bought him anything but heartburn and a failed marriage, but it�s the sort of crisis that doesn�t lead to any meaningful change and is forgotten by the time the alarm goes off and it�s time to hit the river trail. It�s a cold morning and Matt hopes the grad-student doesn�t decide to hit the snooze button.

You misunderstand. It�s not fan fiction. I�m just trying to describe what this picture looks like:

And what it looks like is a man who has been calling his lawyer�s office for the past week and a half and hanging up as soon as the receptionist answers because he feels guilty for beginning this process and blindsiding his wife with divorce papers. But it isn�t really blindsiding is it? Shannon has to know this is coming. She has to. She knows what has been going on for the past five years, or, more to the point, what has not been going on. Hell, she�s probably been seeing someone else behind his back. Who the gently caress knows what goes on all day when he�s at the office? But then again, this is a woman who spends forty-five minutes in the bathroom at a time and he can hear the sobbing through the door on occasion when she forgets to run the sink to drown it out. She still isn�t well and probably never will be, and if he were to serve her and she were to hurt herself he�s not sure he could forgive himself, not to mention the damage that would do to their daughter. So he continues to put it off, and most nights when he gets home from work he parks his Lexus in the driveway and rehearses what he�s going to say when he walks through the door. �Shannon, we both know this isn�t working. It�s not good for either of us to go on this way.� But what if she wants to work things out? He�s well past wanting to try and make it work, but what if she wants to? Could he actually say no to counseling? Wouldn�t that make him a bad person? And as soon as he�s ready to finally say it, he walks in the door and into the bedroom and the master bathroom door is closed and he can hear the sink running. So he changes into his running clothes and heads out to the river trail.

Sorry jefe, it�s June and the Halos are bottom feeders so I feel empty inside.

Matt looks like he feels pretty empty inside, sort of like a man who just had a two hour argument with his wife because she felt �Way too loving fat� to go to dinner at the club with the Applebaums. But he�s tired of making excuses for her, �Oh sorry, Shannon is a bit under the weather,� �Oh sorry, our baby sitter canceled at the last minute,� �Oh sorry, Shannon is feeling way too loving fat to come tonight.� So he begs and pleads and she slams the bathroom door so hard the windows shake. They ride to the club in total silence. He reaches for the radio, but she shifts in her seat and groans so he retracts his hand and curses to himself internally. At the club it�s all handshakes and smiles, though she does manage a subtle glare at him when he orders a double Johnnie Walker Black on the rocks. Janice Applebaum asks if she�d like to share a bottle of wine, and she says �No thank you, I think one of us should remain sober.� Other than that little dig things go smoothly enough, but before they�ve ordered dessert she excuses herself and doesn�t return for twenty or so minutes. She claims to have run into Emilia Parker in the ladies restroom and she just couldn�t get away any sooner, but he notices the hastily reapplied lipstick and he�s sure the Applebaum�s do as well. On the way home he catches a brief whiff of sour breath from her and he almost says something, but before he can she asks if he wouldn�t mind sleeping on the couch tonight because he always wakes her up when he leaves early to head out for a run. As they walk through the door she heads straight into the master bath and shuts the door.

Original link.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:37

really queer Christmas: Apr 22, 2014

Kalli posted:

https://twitter.com/RealAlexBarth/status/1461552368651280384

Lmao lol

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:39

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Grittybeard posted:

I watched that entire game, I may require an intervention of some sort.

I'm curious how often this has happened when none of the QBs had to leave the game due to injury.

That's a little unfair because Ryan was just replaced because the game was over. But Rosen got angry benched and Franks might have made them trot Ryan back out there if they'd have gotten the ball back.

Picturing Arthur Smith going in at halftime and making all sorts of adjustments to kick the offense into gear

https://twitter.com/MySportsUpdate/status/1461547690865700869

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:39

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

People are digging up other games like this, and here's one from '84 where the Seahawks had 4 pick 6's off 3 Chiefs QB's

https://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/198411040sea.htm

The three Chiefs Qb's threw 18, 17 and 16 passes too, which... man.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:47

Gatts: Jan 2, 2001; Goodnight Moon; Nap Ghost

Kalli posted:

Picturing Arthur Smith going in at halftime and making all sorts of adjustments to kick the offense into gear

https://twitter.com/MySportsUpdate/status/1461547690865700869

If the Falcons had made that field goal, Bill would have ended the game with his own instead of kneeling

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:53

Grittybeard: Mar 29, 2010; Bad, very bad!

Kalli posted:

People are digging up other games like this, and here's one from '84 where the Seahawks had 4 pick 6's off 3 Chiefs QB's

https://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/198411040sea.htm

The three Chiefs Qb's threw 18, 17 and 16 passes too, which... man.

Todd Blackledge and Bill Kenney are names I know, but I've gotta say Sandy Osiecki is a hell of a name.

I hope the announcers said his full name every snap to get the most out of it, he had one career pass attempt outside of this game.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:54

AndrewP: Apr 21, 2010

Really surprised that Arthur Smith isn't scheming up a better offense. Also surprised that the Titans doing just fine without him. Maybe I overrated Arthur Smith a tad

# ? Nov 19, 2021 06:05

RC and Moon Pie: May 5, 2011

Kalli posted:

People are digging up other games like this, and here's one from '84 where the Seahawks had 4 pick 6's off 3 Chiefs QB's

https://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/198411040sea.htm

The three Chiefs Qb's threw 18, 17 and 16 passes too, which... man.

I thought the turnover stats from this 1979 Seattle game would be worse because the other stats are legendary horrendous. They aren't, but I took the time to find the game, so here's one where the Seahawks had -7 (minus 7) total yards.

Here's another one from 1969 with three Steelers QBs throwing picks. Only one pick-6 but there was a fumble returned as well.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 06:11

Magicpants: Sep 15, 2011; Certified Poster

Nothing ever changes. On this day in history 1864, Atlanta also lay smouldering in ruins.

William Sherman was drafted by the Patriots in the 6th round of the 2021 draft and is currently signed to the practice squad.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 06:21

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

Proposal: Start Cordarrelle Patterson at quarterback when he returns from injury.

Trade Matt Ryan to the supermassive black hole at the center of the galaxy.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 06:53

RC and Moon Pie: May 5, 2011

Gonz posted:

Trade Matt Ryan to the supermassive black hole at the center of the galaxy.

I'm thinking more a farm downstate. One with a big meadow, lots of room and sunshine.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 07:05

YOLOsubmarine: Oct 19, 2004; When asked which Pokemon he evolved into, Kamara pauses.

"Motherfucking, what's that big dragon shit? That orange motherfucker. Charizard."

AndrewP posted:

Really surprised that Arthur Smith isn't scheming up a better offense. Also surprised that the Titans doing just fine without him. Maybe I overrated Arthur Smith a tad

The offensive genius behind �run Derrick Henry a lot and call play action passes.�

# ? Nov 19, 2021 10:17

syzpid: Aug 9, 2014

Lions should trade a first rounder and Goff to the Falcons for Ryan

# ? Nov 19, 2021 11:54

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 16:12

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; c-spam cannot afford

Just

at the falcons. That has got to be a depressing locker room. Just awful back to back games.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 12:00

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