UKMT January 2022 - Whitby Cough Weekend - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT January 2022 - Whitby Cough Weekend

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Lol and I just got round to blocking that lovely politics for all account yesterday.

# ¿ Jan 2, 2022 09:32

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 12, 2024 04:21

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

I'll be honest I don't "get" TBEU. Like they catch people out but you'd have to be terminally online to know what was going on, so it's never actually that funny. It's not like people getting tricked by getfiscal.

# ¿ Jan 3, 2022 01:28

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Failed Imagineer posted:

Just lol if you don't have one of the things where you keep the butter upside-down in a little moat of water. great for stopping the butter going nasty but always spreadable. You do have to change the moat-water regularly tho

I have no idea what the gently caress you are talking about.

And also just keep butter in a butter dish and it will be fine to spread in all but the coldest weather.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2022 09:16

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Honestly that result in the Colston trial is loving incredible. Yet another reminder of how brilliant a jury based system is.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2022 18:03

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

The discussion of the Eric Gil statue business on Twitter is hilarious. Just statue nonces desperately trying to work out how to square hating any attempt to damage a statue with trying to not defend a famous paedo. And you've also got the added sauce of the BBC as well. Just incredibly entertaining and I applaud the mad lad with the hammer for setting it all off.

# ¿ Jan 12, 2022 23:10

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Answers Me posted:

Worked for her youngest son:

Prior to that there hadn�t been an Earl of Wessex (or indeed a Wessex) for a thousand years.

Wessex always seems a completely sensible and underused subdivision of England so I think this was a good thing

# ¿ Jan 13, 2022 23:19

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Failed Imagineer posted:

Condolences mate.

But also nice username:post combo.

But also, as a genuine question to thread - why do UK funerals happen weeks later whereas Irish funerals happen within 3days? I feel like there was some effort post about this ages ago but I don't recall

As a half Welsh part Irish person who lives in England I've always just assumed it was because Irish traditionally keep the body in the house so you want to get the wake and funeral sorted as quickly as possible before it starts stinking up the joint. whereas British people don't do wakes because celebration and joy in religious rites are a sign of popery, and as the body is in a funeral home or whatever you can spend more time organising a funeral on a day that's convenient for everyone without worrying about your living room smelling of Nan's corpse.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2022 09:48

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Aphex- posted:

British people don't do wakes? What? Every funeral I've ever been to has had a wake.

I mean like with the body in the living room, not a spread at the pub.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2022 10:16

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Aphex- posted:

Every one I've been to you have the funeral first, body is buried/burned whatever then the wake is usually back at the family's house where everyone gets drunk.

E: maybe we've just been calling the pissup after the funeral a wake when it isn't one? I dunno

Yeah a wake happens the night before a funeral. I think the original concept was that you are staying awake to protect the dead before the funeral.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2022 10:26

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

smellmycheese posted:

Why is "tips to" highlighted?

# ¿ Jan 15, 2022 11:59

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Oh dear me posted:

Statistically, since we are a lefty group, a good chunk of us must be MI5 plants. My money is on Camrath with his fudge-making scheme to get our names and addresses.

I've always assumed that about 80% of us are plants. Fully expect to discover I've been working for GCHQ all along without realising it.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2022 13:32

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

sebzilla posted:

It's calmed down since then, there's much less Mao-posting these days.

I feel like the decline of mao posting has coincided with a decline in crisp posting

# ¿ Jan 15, 2022 13:37

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

The daytime soap Doctors definitely had public information stories inserted in it, I know because I knew someone who used to be a freelance scriptwriter and the producers would say we need a storyline about diabetes to tie in with this government health programme or whatever. She definitely had to do a couple of weed psychosis stories. It would not be at all suprising if this is true of EastEnders as well.

# ¿ Jan 17, 2022 12:55

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Guavanaut posted:

FPTP but if non-voters win it goes to a random person on the constituency roll

If recent events have taught us anything it's that government by jury would probably be a lot better for everyone.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2022 17:36

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Endjinneer posted:

https://twitter.com/SamCoatesSky/status/1483540953394782212

It's going to be hilarious watching 344 MPs put themselves forwards while simultaneously trying to knife the other 343 candidates.
Time to register some domain names.

I'm suprised Mordaunt is getting mentioned seeing as she is halfway competent

# ¿ Jan 18, 2022 23:36

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Graham Brady is making a statement tomorrow morning so it's definitely happening

# ¿ Jan 18, 2022 23:50

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Lol loving hell last election I ruined my shoes campaigning against that twat and now they've just let him join the party.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2022 12:56

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Oh now I'm going insane listening to journalists who are incapable of pronouncing Bury

# ¿ Jan 19, 2022 13:00

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

its been a while since I've forced myself to watch PMQs and my god if I was an MP i would be dying of embarrassment.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2022 13:16

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

EvilHawk posted:

FWIW now would be a great time for a by-election for a defector. There's a public opposition to the government, he's jumped a sinking ship, and he gets to say "well I represented you previously but I can't stand behind Boris any more" in what should be a Labour gain seat.

If anything Labour should be pushing for one to show they can beat the Tories again.

Yes if Kieth had any sense he'd be relishing a by-election

# ¿ Jan 19, 2022 14:02

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

stev posted:

So was the buzz yesterday about the 54 letters being sent just not true?

I think that because one of them defected a bunch of them bottled it in case they got associated with him and withdrew their letters

E: also lol that this defection has immediately created a load of labour infighting and that's drowning out what a poo poo job Boris did at PMQs

# ¿ Jan 19, 2022 17:55

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Prole posted:

Can't seem to find that tweet.

They deleted it after everyone pointed out they were admitting yet another party during lockdown for the Tory party

# ¿ Jan 19, 2022 19:42

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

kingturnip posted:

That's alarmingly believable

I only realised it was a bit when I got to the Ian Austin dog joke

# ¿ Jan 19, 2022 23:16

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

goddamnedtwisto posted:

Before we all get too excited about that list, the provenance of it is shaky as hell. It emerged during one of the many convulsions in the Tories over Brexit, around the time that Gavin Williamson was somewhat unexpectedly moved from Chief Whip to Defence, among rumours that he was leveraging the dirt that he had on his colleagues to set himself up for a run at Foreign Secretary *where Boris was already making noises about quitting) and then leader.

However there are about nine different stories about where this *specific* list comes from because it doesn't contain anything not already pretty well-known in the Westminster bubble and leaves out a number of stories that since came to light (e.g. Charlie Elphicke, who had already been arrested at the time this leaked (although the story was still being sat on by the whips), and [REDACTED], who is completely and totally innocent of any and all charges and just took a nice long holiday for absolutely no reason.

The version that rings truest to me is that this is just a compilation of rumours and gossip from a WhatsApp group used by CCO/HoC staff that somebody chose to drop into the mix at just the best time. If nothing else I'd assume the whip's office would definitely have something juicier about Johnson than an NDA, especially as this was the time he'd started seeing Carrie Symonds, still at the time working in the CCO Press Office (before being shuffled out very quickly after Johnson flounced from the FCO) and of course still at the time cohabiting with Harry Cole.

I kind of always assumed it was a crib sheet that some journo put together so they could keep track of Westminster gossip.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2022 15:48

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Just thinking about Willy Wragg has been kind of clever here because now they can't leak the piss bath tape because it would prove they were actually trying to blackmail him. He's sort of reverse blackmailed them.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2022 16:01

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

SixFigureSandwich posted:

Trying to apply for a UK passport for my newborn and lmao this is some bullshit they make you jump through. Apart from the usual documents and photos they require somebody (not family) to verify the child's identity. That person must be a UK national and live in the UK - somewhat tricky for us, as many of our friends are EU nationals, but fair enough. But they also must be employed in an approved profession, and the list looks like it was last updated in the 1960s:

https://www.gov.uk/confirm-identity-online-for-passport-application

Might as well just put up a sign saying 'no poors and foreigners please'

The list always seems weird but my understanding is that it's all people who belong to a professional body where they will have signed a statement confirming their honesty and good character to become a member. As there is a statement of truth involved in that therefore creates a legal obligation to be truthful in witnessing your documents whereas other people would not.

This regularly comes up for me as I am in a relatively senior position in a law firm but I've never actually bothered becoming a qualified solicitor as I'm mostly involved in operational stuff, so I can't witness these sorts of things as I'm not a member of the law society.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2022 12:27

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

fuctifino posted:

This is one of the best owns I've seen, and deserves sharing

Jesus this has such smug prick #fbpe energy radiating off it.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2022 12:53

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

feedmegin posted:

I do like that 'landlord of your local pub' counts.

Presumably they count because they are licensed.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2022 13:14

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

goddamnedtwisto posted:

It gets better:

https://twitter.com/BadVaccineTakes/status/1484556238759370757

One thing I don't understand is why the police aren't arresting these nutters who are trying to "arrest" them. If anyone at any vaguely left wing protest tried this they'd get their heads kicked in by the filth.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2022 14:10

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Julio Cruz posted:

can't wait for Baroness Warsi to loudly complain about the endemic Islamophobia in the Tory party and then still refuse to leave

To be fair to her she knows she only gets an audience on it because she's still in the party, the second she leaves is the second the press no longer gives a poo poo about her pointing out how islamophobic they all are. and I imagine the Tory party know they can't kick her out because it will prove her right

# ¿ Jan 22, 2022 23:38

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

I think the difference is that while it's fully expected that whips will threaten the career of an individual MP, threatening the welfare of their constituents is beyond the pale. There is a difference between saying "if you go against the whip you are never getting called up to a committee" and "if you vote against the whip we will close your local hospital"

# ¿ Jan 23, 2022 10:02

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

I remember when I was working in the centre of Manchester learning that there was a spate of people making GBS threads on the floor in Selfridge's and M&S (which are in the same building). Generally in the middle of clothes racks etc so it was hidden and took a while to find. One of the people in Selfridge's told me that purely based on the quantity there had to be several people involved.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2022 08:18

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

I haven't watched those videos but to be honest learning that anything built in Britain was designed by a cabal of upper classes nonces would be in no way surprising.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2022 17:33

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

keep punching joe posted:

lmao

https://twitter.com/RedfieldWilton/status/1485658684701253646

loving lmao

# ¿ Jan 24, 2022 18:59

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Aidan_702 posted:

Just lol. Why is she attaching herself to this? Is she actually that�unwise (to put it politely)

https://twitter.com/nadinedorries/status/1485687149836001283?s=21

Because Boris is the only person who will give her a job.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2022 21:19

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Important news

https://twitter.com/parliawint/status/1485706904705933313?t=PdYyrC8RpwoM1IBt4NTrPQ&s=19

# ¿ Jan 24, 2022 21:40

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

fuctifino posted:

loving lol.

https://twitter.com/BritainElects/status/1487516193405681667

Once the report drops that redacts any wrong doing the Tories are going to be back in the lead again.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2022 09:04

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Her Dryer posted:

The worst part of all of this is seeing people on twitter post things like "Boris is FINISHED!" unironically for the 10th time this year. I know the Wiggle Out of This Jam bit is overdone but libs just go at it again and again and again...

It is incredible how many people still haven't realised that rules don't actually mean anything

# ¿ Jan 31, 2022 17:21

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 12, 2024 04:21

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Tesseraction posted:

lol

https://twitter.com/SebastianEPayne/status/1488184076817342469

Tory MPs furious with Johnson for implying that being a nonce was bad

# ¿ Jan 31, 2022 18:24

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT January 2022 - Whitby Cough Weekend