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Should I step down as head of twitter
This poll is closed.
Yes 420 4.43%
No 69 0.73%
Goku 9001 94.85%
Total: 9490 votes
[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

 
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Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
I hope he piledrives it into the ground and it becomes a husk of what it once was

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Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Booty Pageant posted:

https://twitter.com/xychelsea/status/1517215293722054656

remember there are reports that chelsea manning and grimes are banging

Chelsea Manning has been slowly growing on me ngl

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Monkey Fracas posted:

Facebook and Twitter are proof that the common human's brain will be inevitably and irrevocably poisoned by spending too much time on internet forums and they've really been a net negative for civilization I feel

unlike our esteemed site which is full of completely normal and healthy folk



regardless my dream is that Musk somehow runs Twitter into the ground and I never have to hear about it again

hell I don't care if he somehow makes a bundle on the cursed venture; I just want it dead

Honestly if FB and twitter burnt to the ground tomorrow society would be so much better off because there'd be no central place for idiots to congregate

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Zil posted:

Except here of course.

Yes... yes... come here and donate your money... :kheldragar:

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

The Last Call posted:

https://twitter.com/Techmeme/status...%5Es1_&ref_url=

For a guy who spent such a ridiculous amount of money, he seems eager to kill it.

Or maybe just trying to get out of it.

hahahaha he's going to piledrive this into the ground

based Elon

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
I still do not understand what the sycophants see in him

remote work is the way of the future and anyone who is against it is basically a dinosaur at this point

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

old beast lunatic posted:

Yeah what good is being lord over everyone if you can't walk around and lord over everyone? It's that simple. During the pandemic i've seen a few boomer managers lose their minds over not being able to walk around and office and micromanage the slaves.

At my old job we had an HR manager who would wander around the office just to see if people were in their seats

it was weird man

Good news though: my firing lead to his firing which lead to the global HR head resigning which lead to my boss's boss being fired and my boss being fired so really, it worked out :peanut:

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

kazil posted:

working 80 hour weeks, camping at the factory while boss man elon shows his dick to flight attendants

boss makes a billion, i make a dime
he commits an awful lot of crime

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Mulaney Power Move posted:

in my experience you do have to micro manage to get things done sometimes and if you are too hands off people will just start missing deadlinss but if you constantly have to rely on it that means you are not managing things properly to begin with

:hmmyes:

A good manager knows when to get hands on and when to go hands-off. Micromanagers all the time create misery among the staff

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Main Paineframe posted:

the dogecoin guy hates crypto

he made dogecoin as a joke, to highlight how stupid and useless crypto was

joke's on him I made like $50 on it :hehe:

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

GABA ghoul posted:

Of course it was all just theatrics. Tesla just announced that they are laying off 10% of their workforce

Yeah who called that? Come and get your prize!


quote:

Tesla (TSLA.O) CEO Elon Musk has a "super bad feeling" about the economy and needs to cut about 10% of jobs at the electric carmaker, he said in an email to executives seen by Reuters.

The message, sent on Thursday and titled "pause all hiring worldwide", came two days after the billionaire told staff to return to the workplace or leave, and adds to a growing chorus of warnings from business leaders about the risks of recession.

Almost 100,000 people were employed at Tesla and its subsidiaries at the end of 2021, its annual SEC filing showed.

The company was not immediately available for comment.

Tesla shares fell nearly 3% in U.S. pre-market trade on Friday and its Frankfurt-listed stock was down 3.6% after the Reuters report. U.S. Nasdaq futures turned negative and were trading 0.6% lower.

Musk has warned in recent weeks about the risks of recession, but his email ordering a hiring freeze and staff cuts was the most direct and high-profile message of its kind from the head of an automaker.

So far, demand for Tesla cars and other electric vehicles (EV) has remained strong and many traditional indicators of a downturn - including increasing dealer inventories and incentives in the United States - have not materialized.

But Tesla has struggled to restart production at its Shanghai factory after COVID-19 lockdowns forced costly outages.

"Musk's bad feeling is shared by many people," said Carsten Brzeski, global head of macroeconomic research at Dutch bank ING. "But we are not talking about global recession. We expect a cooling of the global economy towards the end of the year. The U.S. will cool off, while China and Europe are not going to rebound."

Musk's gloomy outlook echoes recent comments from executives including JPMorgan Chase & Co CEO Jamie Dimon and Goldman Sachs President John Waldron.

A "hurricane is right out there down the road coming our way," Dimon said this week. read more

Inflation in the United States is hovering at 40-year highs and has caused a jump in the cost of living for Americans, while the Federal Reserve faces the difficult task of dampening demand enough to curb inflation while not causing a recession.

Musk, the world's richest man according to Forbes, did not elaborate on the reasons for his "super bad feeling" about the economic outlook in the brief email seen by Reuters.

It was also not immediately clear what implication, if any, Musk's view would have for his $44-billion bid for Twitter (TWTR.N).

Several analysts have cut price targets for Tesla recently, forecasting lost output at its Shanghai plant, a hub supplying EVs to China and for export.

China accounted for just over a third of Tesla's global deliveries in 2021, according to company disclosures and data released on sales there. On Thursday, Daiwa Capital Markets estimated Tesla had about 32,000 orders awaiting delivery in China, compared to 600,000 vehicles for BYD (002594.SZ), its larger EV rival in that market.

Wedbush Securities analyst Daniel Ives said in a tweet it appeared Musk and Tesla were "trying to be ahead of a slower delivery ramp this year and preserve margins ahead of an economic slowdown."

'PAUSE ALL HIRING'

Before Musk's warning, Tesla had about 5,000 job postings on LinkedIn from sales in Tokyo and engineers at its new Berlin gigafactory to deep learning scientists in Palo Alto. It had scheduled an online hiring event for Shanghai on June 9 on its WeChat channel.

Musk's demand that staff return to the office has already faced pushback in Germany. read more And his plan to cut jobs would face resistance in the Netherlands, where Tesla has its European headquarters, a union leader said.

"You can't just fire Dutch workers," said FNV union spokesperson Hans Walthie, adding Tesla would have to negotiate with a work council on terms for any departures.

In a Tuesday email, Musk had said Tesla employees were required to be in the office for a minimum of 40 hours per week, closing the door on any remote work. "If you don't show up, we will assume you have resigned," he said.

Musk has referred to the risk of a recession repeatedly in recent comments.

Remotely addressing a conference in mid-May in Miami Beach, he said: "I think we are probably in a recession and that recession will get worse."

In late May, when asked on Twitter whether a recession was coming, Musk said: "Yes, but this is actually a good thing. It has been raining money on fools for too long. Some bankruptcies need to happen."

Other companies have cut jobs or are slowing or pausing hiring amid weakening demand.

Last month, Netflix (NFLX.O) said it had laid off about 150 people, mostly in the United States, and Peloton said in February it would cut 2,800 jobs. Meta Platforms (FB.O), Uber (UBER.N) and other technology companies have slowed hiring. read more

In June 2018, Musk said Tesla would cut 9% of its workforce as the then-loss-making company struggled to ramp up output of Model 3 electric sedans, although data in its SEC filings showed reductions were more than offset by hiring by year end.

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
Elon meltdown incoming

https://twitter.com/ZekeJMiller/status/1532741084517900288

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
ahahahahaha good job to everyone who called it from the start

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Mr. Lobe posted:

Is there such a thing as a contract so airtight you can't bury it by throwing enough lawyers at it though?

Yes actually

Apparently when the NBA merged with the ABA: https://www.inc.com/joseph-steinberg/4-lessons-from-the-greatest-business-deal-in-sports-history.html

quote:

After the 1975-76 season, the NBA agreed to merge with the ABA. As part of the process, the NBA had to either bring each existing ABA team into the NBA or compensate its owners for not doing so. Four of the ABA's seven teams joined the NBA. Another team -- the Virginia Squires -- had failed as a business and was gone before the merger. The owners of the sixth team, the Kentucky Colonels, accepted a one-time payment of approximately $3-Million to walk away. The Silna brothers and their attorney, however, turned down such an offer, and negotiated a totally different type of deal.

The Silnas successfully convinced the NBA and the remaining ABA teams to agree to pay them one-seventh of the television broadcast revenue that each of the four remaining ABA teams that had joined the NBA would receive going forward, for as long as the league continued to exist. This deal was based on the argument that all seven remaining ABA franchise deserved an equal share of the TV revenue of the ABA teams that joined the NBA; such an argument made logical sense, and, as, at the time, basketball-related television viewership and revenue was tiny compared what it is today -- the NBA playoffs were not even broadcast live -- the parties agreed to the arrangement. Giving the Silnas annual payments of 4/7 of the television revenue that the other NBA franchises received did not seem like a heavy cost, even if translated to approximately 2% of the entire NBA's television revenue.

The brothers managed to negotiate other favorable terms that would exaggerate their income if the NBA was successful - for example, that their share of the television broadcast revenues could never drop below the percentage that would apply if the league had 28 teams; if the NBA grew to larger than 28 its television revenues would grow, but the brothers' percentage of those revenues would not decline.

The NBA lawyers looked for decades trying to find some sort of legal loophole to get out of it, and they ended up paying the two $500 million + a small annual percentage to finally end the deal. In 2014.

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Extra Large Marge posted:

Twitter to be executed via lethal injection

insh'allah

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Stefan Prodan posted:

without even looking I feel almost 99% sure this is getting dismissed

Yeah I don't see how it makes it out of the initial stages either unless there's some real hard evidence

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
As we all called it, Elon's backing out of buying Twitter

https://mobile.twitter.com/business/status/1545519558810914816

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Gologle posted:

You guys realize that's not the actual fatass posting that, right? I've unfortunately seen many examples of his twitter posts over the years, he isn't anywhere near that coherent.

I'm actually fairly certain it is. it's got the rambling cadence down, plus would Trump really let anyone truth for him?

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
Why the hell do you need steam integration in your damned car

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

I had absolutely no clue that Matt Berry was part of snuff box

he's a global treasure

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
AP and Reuters just pushed out that the Twitter trial is going to be in October :sickos: Musk wanted to delay it

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

This is like the legal equivalent of "The Court is not stupid, do not treat us like we are, and now we're pissed"

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

goatface posted:

The rare earth metal industry is dangerously geopolitical and dirty as gently caress, so you can still self-flagellate about that.

this is why we must go into space and occupy Ceres and other dwarf planets, sasa ke?

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Zil posted:

We just need to drag these mineral rich dwarf planets into a stable orbit around the earth and mine them there.

This of course will have no impact on our tides or crops or atmosphere or....

I suppose theoretically you could move them into a LaGrange point and keep their orbits fairly stable while you mine them. That shouldn't have much effect on the earth, though I ain't no astrometerologist so I have no clue

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

goatface posted:

Don't move the whole rock, that's a waste of delta v. Process the rock in place and fling stuff back at the earth.

Ok Marco Inaros :rolleyes:

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Bad Purchase posted:

13 billion years of the machinations of the cosmos have brought us to this point, and i am basking in it. just in awe that i was alive to witness it.

Just think

You lived in the same time period as David Bowie AND the dude who offered to blow Elon musk

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Bad Purchase posted:

whatever happened to the elite legal team he said he was assembling a couple months ago to defend himself from the woke mob? why aren't they stopping this?

Apparently there's not a flood of highly skilled lawyers who want bag a new client by emailing "legalsupport@tesla.com" or whatever the email was

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
I'm going to ride in a Tesla tonight

if I die, it was an honor modding you all

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

MakaVillian posted:

In fact stunning silence from all the alt-right shitbags, quite the coincidence....

Alex: "once you buy Twitter you're gonna let me back on right?"

Elon: "uhhh... About that..."

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
Cannot wait for Tesla to finally crash and burn

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
God I hope he runs it into the ground

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
The absolutely safe capsule for employees at Tesla and SpaceX

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Mr. Lobe posted:

Do we get to push it around for fun, too?

If by pushing it around you mean bullying Elon into changing his mind repeatedly hell yeah!

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
Based Elon is cratering Twitter and folks...... It rules

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Zugzwang posted:

How do his other companies exist?

Despite him

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
How's this:

The person who picks the correct date of when Twitter dies (or closest to) gets a free av change/upgrade

I'll take submissions for the next week or so, unless Twitter folds before then and then uh... I guess no one wins?

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Comstar posted:

Gentlemen, the moment has clearly arrived.

Post the date Twitter is sold or folds.


My pick: August 3rd, 2024.

The Fattest PI posted:


Sold on April 20th (huehue get it le memes, still got it elon), 2024

madmatt112 posted:

April 20, 2023

Ubersandwich posted:

June 25, 2023

Pastel Candy Snake posted:

November 10th, 2022

F_Shit_Fitzgerald posted:

e: More seriously, I'll say January 1, 2023. Never underestimate Musk's ability to fail in hilariously epic ways.

Convex posted:

I'll take Monday the 7th of November

edit: 2022

Hasturtium posted:

What the hell. Christmas Day, 2023.

Discount Dracula posted:

Dammit! Claimed. Ok, April 1, 2023 :hai:

Beartaco posted:

June 30th 2023.

deoju posted:

Oct, 28th 2022

Rigel posted:

March 28, 2024

Fabulousity posted:

June 21, 2024

duffmensch posted:

April 20, 2023

Entorwellian posted:

September 6th, 2023

FrumpleOrz posted:

February 14, 2023


Mal-3 posted:

I'll take some of that action. August 6, 2023. Memorializing one nuke with another.

Propaganda Hour posted:

June 16th, 2023.

This is a pro click

Unlucky7 posted:

Anyway, I will go with September 9th, 2023

Endorph posted:

ill take january 1st, 3000 BCE, bob

Thundercracker posted:

April 1 2023. I would've picked 2024 before this week.

Saving this batch so I don't have to go through it when Elon inevitably turns the main Twitter DB server into a gravity bong and nukes the site

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

MrQwerty posted:

yaldabaoth has at least 15k posts in that thread

:eyepop:

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

C-Euro posted:

Twitter going down for good is going to make reading old forums threads an absolute trip. Remember when Waffleimages went down?

Mods can we run a query to see what % of forums posts made since Twitter embeds started working contain an embedded Tweet?

That's more an astral question, which now that I've said his name...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Pj4dLiwsAw

:tinfoil: always watching....

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Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Captain Hygiene posted:

October 28, 2023, a full year but no more

Jet Jaguar posted:

December 28th, 2022, somebody will break something in the dead zone between Christmas and New Year's Eve, nobody will know how to bring it back.

its all nice on rice posted:

September 15, 2023.

Pyrtanis posted:

Hello Seth, I would like to choose December 12th, 2022 as the date birdsite flies into a window, ty

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

June 18th 2023


Flyinglemur posted:

You're welcome! It's nice to be remembered for things like that and not The Incident at the old mill


Is it too late to pick April 1st, 2023?


Squibbles posted:

Sept 11th 2024, never forget

In reality I expect it to never actually die and just limp along a shadow of it's former self like all other social media that have passed their prime. And I'm not confident that elons ego could ever let him sell at a loss.

koshmar posted:

July 27th 2023

Revins posted:

March 3rd 2023

Happy Landfill posted:

:emptyquote:

Throwing my hat in for January 7th 2023. Why? Idk

EngineerJoe posted:

August 14, 2023

ben shapino posted:

April 20 2069

Turbinosamente posted:

No one wants to guess it croaks on election day, so I will do it, November 8th 2022.

Party Ape posted:

I'm going for the any% twitter death speedrun: November 31, 2022.

DRINK ME posted:

Twitter changes hands April 1st 2023.

crusty posted:

Dec 1, 2023.

He'll have to wait a year to do a full YoY comparison with his changes in place and then will sell quietly with nuclear NDA so no one knows how much he lost.

Beefed Owl posted:

I'm going to say April 4th of next year because it is 4-4, like how no matter how many stupid decisions I make in my life I'll never buy a platform for $44 billion, several times its value and then immediately tank it

GD_American posted:

Elon doesn't even make it to Thanksgiving. November 20th, 2022.

Bad Purchase posted:

january 20, 2024

Hats Wouldnt Fly posted:

11/04/2022,
Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru

Nelson Mandingo posted:

I basically assume Twitter will continue forward as a Myspace or Digg.com embarassment forever more or less. So I don't think it will ever truly "die". But death in this case is something akin to Elon selling it off for cheap, or a mass exodus, or nearly all advertisements gone, it becomes a right wing chudosphere failure, or some flavor of this.

I think August 18th 2023.

Anora posted:

Was July 14th 2023 taken, if so move me later until I hit a free date

Somfin posted:

December 26, 2022. I think he sells it at a horrendous loss before the year is out.

E. Revenant posted:

Feb 24 2023 to overshadow from a significant anniversary.

Filox posted:

March 30 2023.

I wonder how things are looking behind closed doors at the companies that are bailing on Twitter advertising right now. Are they laughing their asses off around the boardroom table, or sitting in slack jawed disbelief at the sheer incompetence of the Musk rat?

Edit because I can't numbers

big black turnout posted:

Does anyone have June 9, 2023 yet

god please help me posted:

july 5th, 2025 based on how tumblr went.

Omobono posted:

I'm feeling optimistic, bird death on may 15th, '23.

ullerrm posted:

Sept 29, 2023.

(the day before end of Q3 FY)

Dalmuti posted:

October 8, 2023

281st day of next year

the mike jones number

Ohtsam posted:

July 19th 2023

Also so much of the cspam archives (and honestly this whole forum and every discord) are going to be unreadable once Twitter dies and takes the embeds with it

SpiritOfLenin posted:

January 5 2023

Musk is speedrunning his own destruction

Nowher posted:

23rd September 2024

I reckon they will keep this corpse dragging on for a bit longer.

QuarkJets posted:

Give me April 1 2023

And if Twitter folds or gets sold before the end of the year, we need gang tags

The cool thing is that it seems like Twitter doesn't actually delete accounts, it just "deactivates" them. Any personal information you put out there is still fair game for getting leaked in a security breach, lmao

learnincurve posted:

Has he fired the people who pay the server or electricity bills? because that’ll make it 28 December 2022 as the death date if he has.

Hardawn posted:

October 25th 2024

heavy liquid posted:

August 1, 2023

Got this batch; lemme know if I missed you

Several people pointed out that I haven't defined "dead", so here's what I'm thinking:

- Twitter suffers a catastrophic outage that nukes the entire site, or it's down for several days and people flee the platform and even if it comes back up it's a shell of its former self (short downtime doesn't count, say a day or less)

- there's a verifiable significant decrease in daily users (maybe > 50% loss?) YoY

- it's sold for pennies on the dollar to some hedge fund, or sold for spare parts

- its revenue decreases by a significant amount ( > 30%?)

Anything I might be missing?

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