the Curse of the Sphinks

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tutankhalmond

It's morning. You stir, rattling the last crystals of all hallow's night off of your once-frightened soul. Emerging from your bed, cocoon-like you are reborn. Another year of fear behind you.

You are stronger. Braver. But...are you wiser?

Alas, this is not your bedroom or couch or cot or hammock. You struggle to recognize these unforgiving sandstone walls. Minecraft? No. It's not minecraft. But it is not so undissimilar as to help your rousing mind put the pieces together. You are in the real, authentic Ancient Egypt. There is no doubt in your mind. This is real. Totally. Real.

I stand before you. The boy king. All hail me because I'm cool and yet just a boy. A paradox? No. A miracle.

...but what stands before me? Well, before me and a bit to the side. A large, crafted, and spry cat.

...a cat? Ok, maybe not a cat. A koala? I can't put my finger on it...

I interrupt, knowledgeable and sounding confident and cool.

"Welcome BYOB, to my domain. Real, authentic, and highly rewarding Ancient Egypt. I am the boy king, tutankhalmond. Ever young like that foo fighters song I think, yet also...ever smart. Peculiar, you think. I awake you from your Halloween slumber to usher in the sacred month, when the tides ebb and the mind flows. You have steeled yourself on another year of not being afraid of the neighbour's kids dressed like Roblox characters, but bravery is not all there is to time and space. I appear now to test your wisdom. Please do not fear me."

You fear me, no doubt. But, you still listen.

"I challenge thee to return to face my Sphinks daily during the holy season and seek to solve its riddles."

You like riddles but this is stupid and you just want a normal November.

"For those who solve...there will be fabulous prizes."

You stop listening because you don't need to hear anymore. You're in. You plan to face the Sphinks' riddles daily to win fabulous prizes.

# ? Nov 1, 2022 14:09

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 10:02

tutankhalmond

[reserved for the king]

# ? Nov 1, 2022 14:12

tutankhalmond

tutankhalmond waits for a small crowd. He hides his mouth and makes poorly considered robotic gear sounds and reaches out with his free hand to place it on the Sphinks.

When he moves his hand from the Sphinks, there remains a coded message.

"She has spoken."

# ? Nov 1, 2022 14:13

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

tutankhalmond posted:

^{this sig is protected by Simsmagic!}

# ? Nov 1, 2022 14:54

Manifisto

# ? Nov 1, 2022 18:15

Non Krampus Mentis: Scrungus Bungus from the planet Grongous

quote:

Gru� vom Krampus

:love: thank u deep dish peat moss for the sig :love:

# ? Nov 1, 2022 19:07

barnold: what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot

Manifisto posted:

what the gently caress

# ? Nov 1, 2022 20:02

Heather Papps: hello friend

a man!

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Nov 1, 2022 20:12

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

Heather Papps posted:

a man!

^{this sig is protected by Simsmagic!}

# ? Nov 1, 2022 20:14

more falafel please: forums poster

posted:

thanks Saoshyant and nesamdoom for the sigs!

# ? Nov 1, 2022 20:48

Heather Papps: hello friend

tutankhalmond posted:

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Nov 1, 2022 21:07

xcheopis

# ? Nov 1, 2022 21:08

ChubbyChecker

quote:

# ? Nov 1, 2022 21:12

google THIS

the emptiest posted:

the emptiest

# ? Nov 1, 2022 21:16

beer pal

‎

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

# ? Nov 1, 2022 21:18

baka of lathspell

google THIS posted:

^{join dork order}
_{sig by ??? (<3 u)}

# ? Nov 1, 2022 21:40

ChubbyChecker

quote:

# ? Nov 1, 2022 21:44

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

ChubbyChecker posted:

# ? Nov 1, 2022 22:34

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

Edward Fingerhands posted:

^{this sig is protected by Simsmagic!}

# ? Nov 1, 2022 22:43

biosterous

quote:

⠀

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Nov 1, 2022 22:51

tutankhalmond

ChubbyChecker posted:

baka fwocka fwame posted:

Edward Fingerhands posted:

Sherbert Hoover posted:

biosterous posted:

While many came close, only you few have succeeded. A deep rumbling and a vibration emanates from the Sphinks. A capsule launches out.

A shock of joy jolts through you. Hey, you earned this. Let's crack this mfer open.

YOU WON COMBOS (PIZZERIA PRETZEL VER.)

What experts are saying about Combos (Pizzeria Pretzel ver.)

Congratulations on today's success. As your prize is much to large for your wittle hands, please accept this conveniently sized trinket. It would fit nicely in your sig, in my opinion. But what do I know. I'm just a boy king.

# ? Nov 2, 2022 03:46

more falafel please: forums poster

combos are pretty good but I don't know if I've ever eaten them outside of a road trip

thanks Saoshyant and nesamdoom for the sigs!

# ? Nov 2, 2022 04:01

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

shared some once with my brother irl and we both puked later. I've earned a badge of courage if nothing else

# ? Nov 2, 2022 04:20

alnilam

Combos! Now that's a snack name I've not heard in a long time... long time.

# ? Nov 2, 2022 05:05

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

I don't want to tell tales out of school, but there's something off about that last review...

^{this sig is protected by Simsmagic!}

# ? Nov 2, 2022 05:14

Viginti Septem: Oculus Noctuae

tutankhalmond posted:

It would fit nicely in your sig, in my opinion. But what do I know. I'm just a boy king.

You're right!

https://i.imgur.com/9jTkSUL.mp4
Thanks to vanisher for the paradise sig!

# ? Nov 2, 2022 07:58

Escape From Noise

Sherbert Hoover posted:

I don't want to tell tales out of school, but there's something off about that last review...

What's it to ya, flavor cheeks?

# ? Nov 2, 2022 08:09

Goons Are Gifts

does anyone have some nuts for me, I need some nuts please

# ? Nov 2, 2022 08:48

ChubbyChecker

whaddaya know, it does fit

# ? Nov 2, 2022 11:40

tutankhalmond

"Another day, another dollar", you think. Except it is only the second day (the first instance of coincidence enabling you to extract some expectations as to what comes next). "Big sigh, the usual", you also think.

The Sphinks continues to brim, full of ancient objects of mystery and potentially 1-2 more flavours of Combos.

...or does it?

I have convened with the Gods to derive today's timeless riddle. Will you be brave enough to rise to the challenge? Some say another's life depends on it. Others don't, to be clear.